You only live once thus you need to break off from your everyday routine and do new things every day, try new things, see new things. Enjoy life for what life is. And with this app it does just that. This app (The Beauty Finder) takes you away from your everyday boring walk to school and leads you in a new walk that will excite you and appreciate the way our planet really is. Although walking along Jay Street is the fastest way to get from the A/C/F/R station to City Tech, a route that passes Bridge Street, Hoyt Street, and Jay Street would be a better way to start the day because it offers The Beauty Finder users beautiful inspiration.
When you’re walking in a city, your experience could change completely just by a wrong turn in a single block. One minute you’re walking along a crowded artery, the next you’re on a quiet residential street. In New York, there are so many different views and places all in one spot due to the diversity of this great city. Some people probably develop favorite routes, from either getting to and from their home to their work, school, and even the local grocery store. However when it reaches the time to go somewhere unfamiliar, like in a new neighborhood or city. Now what do you do? Which path do you take? You can look on a map or you can just type in your new destination it on your smartphone. But what you don’t realize is that will show you the most direct way from where you are to where you are going. Now some people may say that’s a great thing, they want to get to their destination as fast as possible, but what they also don’t realize is they are missing out on all the beautiful things they could see if only they spend an extra 20-30 minutes on their route to their destination. Does that faster route and smaller roads mean beautiful gardens or garbage and rats? It’s impossible to tell. Until now with The Beauty Finder.
They are so many beautiful routes you can take around New York City that will worth your wild, but the main focus today is a beautiful route from Hoyt – Schermerhorn, Brooklyn, NY, United States, to New York City College of Technology. By using The Beauty Finder, I will show you why you should invest your time in an extra 15 minutes of your daily routine from the train station to City Tech.
Instead of getting off the train at Jay Street MetroTech Station and walk for about 3 minutes to reach city tech, let’s take a new route and see the beauty around the City Tech Community. This new route will only take you about 16 minutes, 13 minutes more than your usual walk to school. While on this new route you will see so many beautiful things you have never seen or even know about. This walk will worth your wild. You can walk this route both in the day and in the night. In the day you see everything every little details; the beautiful buildings, streets, trees, art on the walls and much more. In the night, you see the beauty of the lights as it sparkles in your eyes. In addition to this route’s beauty, aren’t you hungry in the morning or even in the afternoon after a long day at City Tech? Well this route offers you a range of restaurants and fast food chains where you can grab a quick bite to eat or even sit in for a while. Walking through Fulton Street, you can sit down and eat a delicious pancake or whatever your taste buds are craving that day at IHOP. Or if pancakes aren’t your thing, maybe a quick bite of Burgers and Fries suits you better or even Chipotle right in the middle of Jay Street and Bridge Street, called Metro Tech.
This part of the City Tech neighborhood is very busy, which is part of the reason why there are such a high number of restaurants so close together. When you first walk through the center, you are greeted by the beautiful pleasant scent of the Chipotle Mexican grill restaurant. Also when you’re eating don’t you want to look at something beautiful instead of burying your face in your smart phone? That is why this section has put a lot of expenses in constructing this business site so that it creates the beautiful view for people to appreciate as they eat.
Also in this section of this beautiful route you can see the fall season take effect as the trees are stripped from their leafs, as they turned brownish-yellow. You can see them fall from the trees and blown by the wind as the children tried to catch them. You can hear the laughter and yelling of the young children socializing with one another in the park area rather than seeing them on a smart phone like every other place you go. You can also take a breath of fresh air and relax on a park bench and observe the beautiful art pieces that are placed all around the park area. This walk will clear your mind and will make you take a minute to appreciate the beauty of this city. And in addition to this new route and seeing beautiful things you will be exercising by walking an extra 13 minutes which is great for your health!
To summarize why you should take this route instead of your old boring two-minute walk from the Jay Street MetroTech train station to City Tech, this new walk you will show you the beauty of the City that will make you appreciate waking up in the morning and coming to class. This walk will give you a chance to unwind and loosen up while you gather some thoughts. This that is very helpful, especially for someone who had a long day and need to take some time to garth themselves back together. Walking and socializing is a great way to relieves stress because you are putting the stressful things aside for a moment and enjoy the time and the things that are around you during that moment. By the time you reach the end of this route and entered the A train, your mind will be at ease because you took some time to slow things down and relax for once. And the best part is, it will only take a short 15 minutes out of your way which is worth the while. For this reason, I would highly recommend that you consider this route for the app The Beauty Finder.
Your intro gives me the idea that you’re going to talk about beauty as your theme but I cant tell what your thesis is. Maybe try to reword it to make it clearer.
The theme is automatically Beauty, as it is clearly expressed within the first paragraph. Also the thesis takes on a persuasive tone, giving the reader something to be curious about.
The theme of the route communicates very clearly to me. I believe the theme does relate to beauty in a way but also focuses on the beauty of underrated things. For example, in your route you mention the restaurants that are in city tech. People might often overlook them and just blatantly see them as restaurants but in your pitch you explain how it’s more than just a restaurant. It’s a place to socialize and put all the stressful things aside which is something i like because you found there to be beauty in an unusual place; you also explain how it can be benefiting. The thesis statement to me is “Although walking along Jay Street is the fastest way to get from the A/C/F/R station to City Tech, a route that passes Bridge Street, Hoyt Street, and Jay Street would be a better way to start the day because it offers The Beauty Finder users beautiful inspiration.” I really liked how you presented your pitch and flowed from idea to idea.
Like the other commenters, I can easily identify the theme of this route as beauty. Your thesis statement at the end of the first paragraph gives me a clear sense of where your route goes and why I should want to take it: “Although walking along Jay Street is the fastest way to get from the A/C/F/R station to City Tech, a route that passes Bridge Street, Hoyt Street, and Jay Street would be a better way to start the day because it offers The Beauty Finder users beautiful inspiration.” However, you do not address beauty until the sixth paragraph. Rather than writing about food and their delicious smells, you need to identify what is beautiful on this route so users know what to look for when they’re walking.
Your theme and thesis match up and clearly express your thoughts for the walk.
So just from the opening paragraph and the name of your hypothetical app, I get a sense that your theme is centered around a better appreciation for our surroundings. By comparing the “fastest route” to your intended route in the last sentence, you’ve also made a good thesis statement as to why potential app users should want to give your route a try.
To me the theme of the route is finding beauty in different places. To me the theme of the route is also trying to push us away from our dull routines and trying something different in something beautiful.