When people go for a walk there are different things people would like to see or do on that walk. Everyone has there own preferences of what type of walk they like to go on. For example, some people may like a nice quiet and peaceful walk, another person may like an exciting more beautiful walk with lots of sites to see and take in. Also the walk people take can relate to things they like and relate to their personality. Like for me I love to have fun, relax and enjoy the sights, and I also love food so I like to go places with different verities of food restaurants to dine at, either places I’ve never tried before or places I love like chipotle, and I also always want to be sure I have a way to get home from where I am at.
On the walk I chose to do has all the aspect I like and look for when I go for a walk. It has a place for transportation that is why it the walk starts by the A train on Jay St, the walk continues on to the metro tech area where there is a chipotle my favorite fast food restaurant and next to it is Five Guys: burgers and fries which is one of my favorite places to get a burger and free peanuts. There is a spot in the metro tech area that you can sit and relax and enjoy a book, eat your food, and just sit there and take in some fresh air. The end of this walk ends at the McLaughlin Park which has very nice basketball courts and I love to play basketball it is my favorite sport. When I think about taking this walk I get excited because all of the things I could do on this walk there is a little bit of everything beauty, fun, and relaxation.
5 thoughts on “Project #3: Draft”
Im not 100% clear if the theme here is either tranquility or places to visit. Also, the thesis is partially vague, though it could be rewritten to accomadate which theme you are trying to emphasize.
I am pretty sure the theme of the route you are taking is one that you can have a nice time on. one that helps people relax. Also maybe you should start talking about your theme for walks before other peoples ideas for walking.
It seems like you have a few themes, you should narrow it down and make it a little more obvious.
Where your thesis should be, you just talk about what you would do. It should be a very short description of what the person will expect on the walk.
It seems as though there are multiple themes going on. For me I couldn’t find a thesis because there’s not really a clear theme. I agree with Brian for the structure on your introduction so that there’s more organization when approaching your thoughts.
Since retail locations (places where you buy things) aren’t included in the parameters for the route, your theme of food will need to change somewhat. I wonder if you could switch to write about a route that smells good! You wouldn’t suggest that someone stop to eat, but just that they get the benefit of all the smells. Then you could design a thesis statement based on that approach.