Panel #1
Tyler Santiago
Born in Ozone Park, New York, Lives and studies in New York
Geometry, 2015 Ink brush pen, inking pen, and used hard cover book
In this piece Santiago tries to convey geometric shapes surrounding the word literature, he also tries to convey what he learned in his COMD 1100 class on negative and positive space the book page color being the negative space and the black being positive space and on the ambiguity of this piece.
Panel #2
Tyler Santiago
Born in Ozone Park, New York, Lives and studies in New York
The Beat, 2015 Ink brush pen, inking pen, and used hard cover book
In this piece Santiago tries to convey a sound wave to go along his learning of staccato and legato sharp and soft sounds conveyed in a drawing. Santiago’s piece shows his way of seeing a staccato or sharp sounds in his drawing of “The Beat”.
Panel #3
Tyler Santiago
Born in Ozone Park, New York, Lives and studies in New York
Flakes, 2015 Ink brush pen, inking pen, and used hard cover book
In this piece of work Santiago shows different variety in this case there are a lot of triangles but not a;ll the same sizes, so the variety is shown by all the different sizes and positions of all of the triangles which to him looks like flakes falling from the sky.
It’s great that you showcase the different design concepts you incorporate into your artwork. Your didactic panels are short–they need to be exactly 60 words–and still need work to polish them for the final version. One way to make them stronger: discuss what you do, not what you try to do. It’s a simple shift in language, but it will make a big change in the way the panel represents your work as something intentional and finished.
As you work to get to exactly 60 words, you’ll be able to make this change and others:
* you don’t need to address this work as the result of your classwork–it might be more helpful to remove “his learning of” and references to COMD 1100 in general. The didactic panels and the artwork they describe should be able to stand on their own, not just in relation to a class project.
* pay attention to sentence boundaries. For example, the third panel begins with a run-on sentence that is confusing to follow. Also in that panel, variety implies different, so no need to say different variety.
* you are not your audience for the artwork, so rather than saying what the triangles look like to you, say what they look like. Again, it’s about showing a confidence in your work!
* proofread
If you have any questions, reply to this comment.