Jingyi Jiao
Title: “The Stage of Value”
Materials: Inking brush pens (black, dark gray, and light gray) and book pages from Shakespeare’s Macbeth.
For this project the artist chose to articulate value, which is the lightness and darkness of a color. Using inking brush pens to block out specific words, Jiao chose the word “stage” to incorporate the fact that Macbeth is a famous play itself. Using the skill of placement, the page shows value from the darkest blacks to no color at all.
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Jingyi Jiao
Title: “Box of dimension“
Materials: Inking brush pens (black, dark gray, and light gray) and book pages from Shakespeare’s Macbeth.
In Box of dimension, Jiao shows technique of overlap. Using inking brush pens to color boxes into different values, the transparent gray colors merged up, and becomes overlapped. By overlapping the boxes with different ranges of value together, it tricks your eyes and gives a 3D feeling.
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Jingyi Jiao
Title: “Music Party DO-RE-MI“
Materials: Inking brush pen (black) and book pages from Shakespeare’s Macbeth.
In Music Party Do-Re-Mi, it shows Jiao’s learning of rhythmic pattern that she connects with her interest in music. This composition shows the two different rhythms of staccato and legato. Staccato represents sharp patterns while legato represents round patterns. Jiao combines them up by using the creativity to turn music into art.
These are all good, i cant think of anything to change.
I really liked how you explained what concepts from class you used for your work, it gives me an idea of what you’re work is about. Also, the fact that you explained what the concepts are and how they are used was a good touch too.
I like your didactic panel, you know what you want to say to the viewer. I have suggestions that it would make it better. For the fist panel, replace the word “no color at all” to “achromatic” so that you can tell viewers, what you learned from COMD 1100. Other than that, nice work! Just make sure you if there is a opportunity to change some of the words, use the vocabulary that we learned so that you can teach others. (Someone can use that word for glossary also).
I like the first didactic panel it seems plausible and literal since most of the words are covered up and is only left with one word, which it is in fact a play.
For “The Stage of Value”, your word count is at 61 words, so you can simply replace “block out” with something like “emphasize” to get exactly 60 words. You could also do what Ayano suggested, which would place you at 58 words, so at that point you’d only need to add two additional words.
Your classmates have some great suggestions to enhance your work. I also count 61 words, so you will need to make some changes. As I read, there are some phrases that could be more effective, which would shorten your panels even more–that could give you the space to say something else about your artwork. Here are a few specific suggestions:
*in the first panel, when you write “value, which is the lightness…” you can eliminate “which is”–though that will affect your work count. It’s great that you define your terms, but you want to do so in a way that doesn’t feel like you’re defining them to show you know what they mean. It should come across more as a way for the panel to explain the material to your audience.
* when you write “Using the skill of placement, the page shows value from the darkest blacks to no color at all,” it sounds as though the page is who is using the skill of placement. Instead, something like “The artist uses placement to craft a page that shows value from the darkest blacks to an achromatic section.” (using Ayano’s suggestion, too!)
* Be sure to always italicize the title of a full-length play (MacBeth) but not Shakespeare’s name (unless it’s part of a title!)
* when you write “In Music Party Do-Re-Mi, it shows Jiao’s learning of rhythmic pattern” you could simplify it to instead say “Music Party Do-Re-Mi shows Jiao’s learning of rhythmic pattern” or even better, “Music Party Do-Re-Mi shows rhythmic pattern”
* in the second panel, you write “By overlapping the boxes with different ranges of value together, it tricks your eyes and gives a 3D feeling.” what it the “it”? Do you mean the artist? the work of art? Also, you might say “tricks the eye”–it sounds more universal.
* in the final panel, you might think more about this last sentence: “Jiao combines them up by using the creativity to turn music into art.” Remove the word “up,” and say more about what you mean by using creativity to turn music into art. Think about what exactly you’re doing, so you can say something more specific. You’re visually representing sound, or you’re transforming media to change sound into image…be more descriptive using some of the terminology from class.
If you have any questions, please post them here as a reply.