After reading through my first draft I’ve noticed that it was good but it could be better. With my draft I needed to explain in more detail on some parts. I refined my essay by rewording some sentences that sounded a little funny to make it more clearer. Also I’ve added different adjectives instead so my sentences won’t sound redundant. I’ve noticed I kept on using “I love” a lot so I eliminated that by rewording it in different ways. I split up my first paragraph into 2 since it was too big in structure. With every alterations I read the sentence over to make sure that it made sense. My paragraph about others misinterpretations on my avatar I kind of took it in a way that people could misinterpret me since my avatar conveyed who I am. With that paragraph I had to make sure the misinterpretations was set more on the avatar and less about myself. With the feedback I got from my classmate I got encouraged to put more into my essay since she was really interested in some parts of it. By reading my classmate’s project and providing feedback it help me in my revision since in that scenario I had to be focused on what to eliminate or add. I took about 20 minuets brainstorming and outlining. The draft itself took about 2 hours and 30 minutes to do. Revising and polishing took about 2 hours.
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