What we might add: prompted by questions from peer, maybe focused on the argument, add more detail–especially about senses, how it’s a juxtaposition
a thesis statement:it establishes your main idea; points out your side of an argument; makes a straightforward point (vs argumentative); summarizes the claim; outlines what you’ll find in the rest of the essay; a road map to the rest of the project; a guide for the reader; specific. End of your introduction.
what’s up?
how come?
so what?
What we might remove: look for repetition. If we want to avoid a particular stance, eg first person. (especially I believe, I feel, I think)
remove aspects that don’t fit with the focus we’re choosing (ask–what does this have to do with your argument? your comparison? your main idea?)
language, grammar, sentence boundaries, vocabulary, usage, for clarity
vocabulary to add: to make it more sophisticated,
grammar, sentence boundaries, how to make it sound better
Please use the paper provided to write me a letter addressing the following questions in any order you like. I will then write a letter to you to provide feedback on your work.
What are you most proud of in Project #1?
What challenged you the most in Project #1?
If you had more time, what would you change?
If you could have changed the assignment, how would you have changed it? What would you insist on not changing?
Is there anything else I should know about your work or about you as a writer or as a student?
You’re in the final stages of your revision of Project #1–how did you get here? Write a post (Category ENG 1101 Project #1, Tag Phase 3: Develop, plus any tags you want) in which you reflect on your process. You will want to address some or all of the following:
how did you know what you wanted to include?
how did you refine what you included?
how did you determine what to eliminate?
how did you figure out the project’s organization?
what did your classmate’s feedback do for your work process?
what did reading your classmate’s project and giving feedback do for your work process?
how much time did you spend brainstorming? outlining? drafting? revising? polishing?
In class on Monday, you will write a cover letter for your project based on different reflective questions. Then we’ll gather what we learned for Project #1 and bring it to Project #2!
If you have any questions about Project #1 as you’re finishing it, feel free to reach out to me via email or to reply to this post so anyone in class can respond to you or see my response.
Today in class, we reviewed our reading, “Univers Strikes Back,” and began to annotate it to reflect what we understood and didn’t understand yet. We highlighted words we wanted to understand better.
We also discussed our drafts of Project #1, taking some time to ask questions and to make a checklist for our final revisions, which are due before the start of class on 9/21.
I have asked everyone to read selections of the first chapter of Ways of Seeing. Please read from page 7 (the first page of the chapter) to page 11 (stop just before the last paragraph) and from the middle of page 16 through the end of the chapter, or the best you can.
During class we will watch the first episode of the BBC production of “Ways of Seeing.” This groundbreaking television series was the basis for the book of the same name, which is the source of our reading for this class and subsequent classes. (note: some of the words in the captions are incorrect.)
Focused freewrite: What remains with you after watching Part 1 of “Ways of Seeing”? What questions do you have?
We will continue our conversation about how we read images in light of the video and reading from Ways of Seeing.
We will also work on note-taking and annotation of a text, using Ways of Seeing as our example.
*Â Â Â Â *Â Â Â Â *
In our lab, we will work in small groups to provide peer feedback for Project #1. In pairs:
Review your draft on your own, adding anything you want to add. (5 minutes)
Partners then swap projects and read the other partner’s work.
After reading, everyone will respond to questions about the draft:
What does this bio provide so you learn about this person in an academic, pre-professional context?
What are the author’s goals, interests, and aesthetics?
Does the author describe his or her avatar in detail? Try to imagine it just from the description–what do you understand and what is missing?
Does the author identify meaningful ways in which someone might misunderstand their avatar? Offer your own possible interpretation.
What does the author say this OpenLab profile will do to represent him or her? What is missing? What does not come across to you in terms of the assessment of the profile’s purpose?
Is there anything about the way this was written that you want to comment on? Remember that this is a draft, so some pointers can be helpful, but some might be too specific for this stage in the writing process.
After answering the questions, swap back and review the responses to your project.
After reviewing the responses, take turns asking any questions you have about your reviewer’s experience reading.
Collaborate on making an action plan for each partner’s revision.
It would be helpful if you upload your latest iteration before class on Wednesday, 9/16, so we can discuss any issues that arise as you continue to work on your projects. Final versions are due on Monday, 9/21, by the start of our 9:00am lab.
*Â Â Â Â *Â Â Â Â *
In class we brainstormed some techniques for annotating a text. As you read “Univers Strikes Back” by Ellen Lupton and Julia Lupton, use as many of these techniques to annotate your copy of their essay:
highlighting or underlining for things that stand out
squiggly underlining for things you aren’t sure about
circling words that you need to define (possible glossary entries!)
If you haven’t already, register for an OpenLab account and join our Learning Community site, Ways of Seeing (Fall 2015).
From the OpenLab home page, click on People to see OpenLab members
Browse through, looking at the avatars.
Without reading anything about the person, choose an avatar of a member of the OpenLab that you think says something about the person.
Still without reading anything about the person, what do you understand about them based on their avatar? If you click on the avatar, you will see a larger version—but be careful not to read the member’s details yet!
In a post:
Make a list of what you observe when you look at the avatar.
Make a list of the interpretations you make about the details you observe.
Write a paragraph about how you interpret the avatar.
Now finally read about the member. Can you confirm or correct any of your interpretations or inferences? Do you think that the avatar does not represent them accurately? Add a few sentences to answer these questions.
Submit your post by Monday, 9/7.
Reply to at least 3 classmates’ posts by Wednesday, 9/9 at 9:00am, offering feedback about the avatars they have chosen to write about—do you see an alternative reading they haven’t thought of? Are their details they haven’t contemplated enough?
Choose your avatar if you haven’t already before Wednesday, 9/9, so you can write about it in your brainstorm and outline.
Bring your brainstorm and outline to class on Wednesday, 9/9. It can be printed or handwritten.
Welcome to Ways of Seeing. This First Year Learning Community for COMD students taking COMD 1100 & ENG 1101 will include field trips, hands-on projects, and cross-sensory experiences to help you discover and express your creative vision.
