Happily Ever After?

            Love, that four letter word that seems to be the hardest thing to achieve but at the same time the answer to all our problems. Everyone wants love, that special someone to ride off into the sunset with or to save them from the evil dragon and be the hero. People are getting these ideas of a certain kind of love from how it is presented in movies such as Disney movies like Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Cinderella etc… The views of love shown in these movies can give someone unrealistic expectations about love and relationships. They may see Sleeping Beauty getting awakened from her nap with a kiss from a handsome prince and want that too. It could be anything that attracts that person. After one has watched and has decided that’s the love they want, they may wait forever for their prince charming. What if prince charming never comes in the way they want? Or if their Prince Charming ever comes at all? The love that is wanted may not be the love one gets. Love has its pros and cons but it does not come easy. Movies are ruining the way people view love, the kind of love they want and how they want it.

For starters in these Disney films they show ways of love that are very unrealistic. In almost every fairytale the women is doing everything she can to land her Prince Charming. That is the female’s main focus throughout the film. These films are telling us that in order for a woman to be happy she must find her prince. This can lead to a woman believing the only way to achieve true happiness is by having a man in her life. In the article, “How Disney ruined me for the real world” by Saba Khalid explains a number of ways in which Disney movies ruined her for the real world. One of those ways is, “The only reason Disney princesses breathe, eat, swim, sing, grow their hair, wear ridiculous clothing and shoes, is so that they will one day find themselves a good-looking prince. And once they do, all their problems in life are solved. That means if you don’t find a prince, or if yours happens to be on the ugly or on the less charming side, you’ll still be struggling all your life” (Khalid, 1) This is very true and is a terrible message to tell people. If a woman doesn’t find her prince she’s basically doomed.

These Disney films were not originally made out to be this way in the first place. The original stories are very different from the fairytales we know today. The stories that are based on the ones we know now were actually intended to warn children about the tough road ahead. These movies are based on those stories but were completely changed and made them into these happy fairytales that we know today. These movies that we have today display an unrealistic view of love. In the article by “How Walt Disney Ruined Our Love Lives” by Robert Epstein explains the unrealistic expectations these films give us about love and what these movies are actually based on that are completely different than the ones we know today. “Disney, you see, contributed to the failure of many marriages around the world. He did this by glamorizing and magnifying fairy tales that cause us — women, especially — to have unrealistic expectations about how successful romantic relationships are made and maintained” (Epstein, 1) This statement explains how these fairytales have given people an unrealistic view on love and how it works.

The after story of these fairytales never seem to be shown. We know it says they live happily ever after but is that it? What happens after that happily ever after? No one really know because no one is willing to tell it because it would ruin the idea of the story ending happily ever after. Also how the women are usually the ones taking all the risks in order to get Prince Charming while the male just sits around being rich, handsome and charming.

Work Citied/Annonated Bibliography

Khalid, Saba. “How Disney ruined me for the real world”. The Express Tribune with the International New York Times. 2 October 2012.

Various ways of what Disney films have taught us and how unrealistic it is. Some ways include the women must find a prince in order to be happy and have a fulfilling life and how old women and all things ugly are seen as bad or evil. I manly focused on how unrealistic the lessons learned from this article is. How can one follow these lessons learned from Disney despite how unrealistic they are.

Epstein, Robert. “How Walt Disney Ruined Our Lives”. Brandeis Magazine. Summer 2014.

The fairytales we know today are based on other stories that were taken and remade into something completely different. The true fairytales are no fairtytales at all they were actually intended to help girl through the tough road that lies ahead. Disney had other ideas when these stories were taken and turned into something else.

Kim, Jen. “What happens after happily ever after? Psychology Today. 22 February 2010.

No one really ever wonders what happens after they fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. This article shows images and share stories of what a photographer did as to what happened after their happily ever afters. Also shows how all the men in the movies have the same goal to be handsome, rich and charming while the females have way more going on.

Growing up without a parent can negatively affect a child’s ability to achieve happiness in their lives. There are many reasons for parents not to be present in a child’s growth, whether its due to death, an illness, divorce, or lack of time due to their jobs. All of these reasons have their own effects on children. The effects occur in the children’s personality, which could often be negative such as having: low self-esteem, lack of ability to socialize, inability to maintain relationships and so on. When the children’s personality is affected negatively, their ability to achieve happiness diminishes. This is the case with women who grew up with the emotional absence of their father. Research shows that women are specifically damaged in their ability to have healthy love relationships due to the absence of their father at some point in their life. Women are likely to have unhealthy love relationships due to insecurity: caused by the emotional absence of a father throughout childhood.

The benefits that a woman misses by the emotional absence of a father in her childhood are management of emotions, encouragement of risk taking, competition and more. According to the article “Growing Up Without A Father: The Impact On Girls and Women.” By Bravada Garrett-Akinsanya. Fathers are essential for girls in their child development because they provide with a different type of nurturing. They focus more on teamwork and competitiveness. This different type of focus has an effect on the girl’s ability to manage emotions, intelligence and academic achievement. Fathers also are essential to provide with a sense of what self-control and teaches it to girls. Therefore if a girl does not receive this during her childhood development, when she grows older she will have difficulties with her personality by being insecure, having low self- esteem and being unable to recognize her self-worth.

Girls need to be taught by their father about men so when they grow up to women, they would be able to acquire healthy relationships. A blog that was posted in website “Love-Life Learning Center” created by Dr. Tom Jordan and his wife whose professions are in the field of psychology: states that fathers need to nurture their daughters in order for them to have a secure sense of themselves as individuals and as desirable women. However, if fathers do not provide with this type of nurturing then the daughters will have grief and will search for the missing father’s love somewhere else. A father also has the responsibility of advising their daughters about how men are, what they value, how they get to respect women and so on. This is how a daughter would have information in order to be able to look for their ideal man in the future. Although, if daughters cannot acquire this information and nurturing from their fathers due to their absence then they will fail to cultivate healthy relationships leading them to develop negative characteristics.

Not receiving the adequate nurturing and information of a father will lead a daughter to grow into an insecure woman. According to a paper named “ Fatherless Women: What Happens to the Adult Woman who was Raised Without her Father” By Gabriella Kortsch, Ph.D. She confirms that a girl sees her self-worth reflected in a father’s behavior towards her. Therefore a woman who was raised having a positive relationship with her father will be self-confident. However, the woman who lacked of someone to assure her self-worth will have a low self-esteem. Hence, making it more difficult for the woman with low self-esteem to overcome obstacles throughout her life. Moreover, Kortosch explains three types of love relationships that adult women would have if they experienced the emotional absence of a father. The first one is called “The multi-faceted arena of relationships” this is the type of relationships where women who don’t have a sense of validation for themselves tend to look for it by having sex with men until they think they found the “right” one that makes them feel accepted. The second one is “Marrying “Daddy” which is the type of relationship where women seek for older men wanting to find the father figure they never had. If the lover recognizes that the woman is going to go through a transformation that will make her into her own older woman, from daughter to woman then their relationship will be successful. However, if the man doesn’t recognize this transformation or doesn’t want to then he will respond negatively to the woman and make her feel silly and even more less confident about herself. That would show that he just wanted to take advantage of the naïve, young woman he married to. The third type of relationships is “Avoiding engaging emotions” which is where women just avoid getting involved their emotions with men and so they decide to focus instead on their careers, taking care of others by serving them, serving to god, to their sister’s sons and daughters and so on. Also prostitutes who involve their body with men but not necessarily involving their feelings at all. Last but not least the woman who ends up having relationships with those who are married and which is convenient to her because she never really wants to commit either anyway.

Works Cited
Akinsanya, Brevada G. “Insight News.” Insight News RSS. N.p., 03 Nov. 2011. Web. 23 Nov. 2014.

Jordan, Tom. “Absent Father & His Daughter’s Love-Life.” LoveLife Learning Center. N.p., n.d. Web. 25 Nov. 2014.

Kortsch, Gabriella. “Fatherless Women: What Happens to the Adult Woman Who Was Raised Without Her Father?” Trans4mind. N.p., n.d. Web. 25 Nov. 2014.

Sexuality: Can be based on what you like and how you feel

When a mother is pregnant she is able to see the gender of her child when she is four months. We were all born either a boy, girl or twins. We were all born into this world to be who we want and achieve things that we want in life. Naturally when beginning to like someone a girl will like a guy and a guy will like a girl, but that isn’t always true. Some were born to like the same sex and not be approved by society because they are gay. Which, isn’t fair because we should be able to like who we want and should be comfortable in our own skin without being judged?  The point is that gay people should be able to be accepted by society whether they are gay, bisexual, lesbian, or queer.  Society shouldn’t judge or disapprove of what someones likes or wants to be. Everyone was born in the world for a reason and now that there is a lot of LGBTQ people in the world makes it  more comfortable for others to come out and be open without others feeling any type of way towards them.

After revising my question I first stated why are gay people happier than straight people ?  When researching this question I came to a consensus that gay people yes they are happy people not saying that heterosexual aren’t,but researching this topic helped me with the general about gay couples and straight couples. It didn’t help me get to an actual provident of my question. After doing more research I changed my question to something more reasonable and can be debated which is why are gay people more comfortable than heterosexual couples.  Based on an article “ Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Youths’ Perceptions of Their High School Environments and Comfort in School “ by Diane E.Elze states that students who are gay, lesbian and bisexual were victimize in school because of what they were. Elze states that“ their perceptions of stigmatization, and their social integration with heterosexual peers as openly gay, lesbian, or bisexual people contributed to their feelings of comfort in school” ( Elze, pg. 1 ) .  Therefore in order for them to feel more comfortable and open people will have to accept the fact that there are people who are going to be what they want no matter of what others think.

Although this article was short and not much information details, it had a lot of information based on gay, lesbian  Elze point was to make sure that the students in the high school were being supportive “ The author suggests that interventions should aim at reducing stigmatization and creating supportive peer environments in schools for gay, lesbian, and bisexual students. Therefore, she wants LGB students to be protected and get the best supports and advisement from faculty. She was able to state the problem, then gave resolutions on how to solve them in order to make it better and comfortable for LGB students to go to school.

After reading this article I came to the conclusion that, not only is gay people comfortable with one another. There more connected with one each other. Although homosexuals may not  have the most supports from others. Now in society it is very supportive and acceptable, and normal to people from before because not many accepted the fact of being gay, families, schools didn’t accept the fact of blacks and white dating each other. Therefore it’s legal for homosexual couples to get married in the united states and other states as well.  After researching more on my topic I found that most people had different attitude toward a lesbian couple rather than a gay men couple, because not many believed that gay men couples were accurate or real until more start to come out, just as much females came out about their sexuality.

Work Cited:

Elze, Diana E. “Children & Schools.” Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Youths’ Perceptions of Their High School Environments and Comfort in School. N.p., Nov.-Dec. 2001. Web. 25 Nov. 2014.

Herek, Gregory M. “Public Opinion Quarterly.” Gender Gaps in Public Opinion about Lesbians and Gay Men. N.p., n.d. Web. 25 Nov. 2014.

The Effects Music Portrays on the Behavior of Teenagers towards Parents

Many people view music as a reliever of stress, a comfort in a time of grief and also a source that helps them isolate one from the world. From yester years unto now people still see music as a key to help exploit different feelings and emotions. Every age group of people has different preferences of music. As babies, parents would play music that’s up beat fun and immature. Immature meaning that it is showing emotional development of someone that is young in age. As the child grows the parent would then begin to play music that is educational and would help the child construct and build learning skills. As the child grows and becomes an adolescent and a teenager they start to listen to music that best fits their personality and culture. Then as that person gets older and enter into adulthood they would then become a bit more sophisticated. At that point they would listen to music that is more mature a refined. One of the most pressuring stages of a person’s life is when they are a teenager. Now a day’s teenager’s behavior is more often based on the music they associate themselves with. As many may say, music is the key to the soul. Sometimes people may not even realize that they are reacting on the music that they listen to. Teenagers are at the age where they are trying to find themselves, and because music is such a great influence they give off a behavior that is portrayed from the music. This essay is mainly based on how music effects teenager’s behaviors, especially towards their parents. It is also about how music preferences can form what kind of person a teenager can be and who they associate themselves with. Parents may not realize it but music may be the cause of their sons or daughters erratic behavior.

When the word ‘music’ is defined it says that it is “vocal or instrumental sounds (or both) combined in such a way as to produce beauty of form, harmony, and expression of emotion.” (Google Search). Therefore one can say that it is a way to speak but without talking. A way to show and not tell. “You can usually tell how someone’s feeling by the type of music he or she is listening to at the time.”(Mariam S, Smithtown, How Music Affects Teens). The website teenink.com contained an article written by Mariam S, Smithtown that speaks about different types of music and how it affects teenagers. If a person meets someone and all they are listening to are slow, sad, and depressing music they can more than likely assume that they are in a gloomy state of mind. This is one way an individual can notice how a person is reacting. Sometimes as a teenager it may be difficult to show exactly how they feel. Emotions are sometimes hard to understand and hard to cope with. As a result, teenagers turns to music for help. Music does not do things that people may do so this is why most teens rather listen to music than listen to their parents. Since music is so easy to turn to it then starts to sculpt the pathway of a teen’s life.

This article talks about how certain types of music can define who a person is. The article explains how teens cling more to the people who are more like them. Not because they want to be mean to others but because they like the same type of music as they do. Friends are usually created because the individuals realized that they are alike in certain ways and they can relate to each other.This may also happen because people who have different taste in music may not want to associate with people who have different tastes in music because they will debate about whose music preference is better and why they think the other persons taste in music is weird or not as good as theirs. As the economy becomes more modernized music has become way easier to get a hold of.

It is now way easier for teenagers to get a hold of all kinds of music. This is mainly because 9 out of 10 teens have a cellphone, iPod, CD player, radio, mp3 players etc. It is also easy for teens to access music because there are countless apps and websites that can be used to download music. Some websites and apps contains a fee but many of them are now created free of charge which makes it even easier. Out of all genres of music, rap music is the most explicit one of them all. According to Tara Parker-pope who wrote the article “Under the Influence of…Music?” states that 77% of the most popular rap songs referenced to alcohol and drugs. This shows that most of the music that teens are listening to is rap. A total of 53% speaks of marijuana use, tobacco use, depicted alcohol use and the use of other drug substances. Teenagers listens to an average of almost three hours of music per day. After listening to these sorts of music all the time you may not realize it but it starts to take a toll on ones mind.

When faced with problems in their lives whether emotional or psychological, individuals turn to their doctors. That comes to no surprise because it’s always been the way things go, a problem regarding your health emerges and the doctor is called. What if doctors aren’t really assisting people into regaining their health? What many people don’t know is that physicians sometimes do more harm than help. Plenty would say how so; but they often misdiagnose individuals therefore pinning them with a mental illness that they do not have. This can cause a variety of issues that just spiral downhill from the moment they are labeled with a sickness that they do not really obtain. If a person who doesn’t have a certain mental illness is taking medication for it, that can be harmful to them just taking the medication itself and that’s not including how many doses a day or how strong the medication is. It can harm a person physically, emotionally and psychologically.

Doctors don’t take the time to sit and explore the mind of their patients, therefore, rushing the process. If they do not know what is really wrong with their client how can they seriously assist them in getting them back to being themselves? Doctors often don’t put their best ability into helping their patients receive the necessary care they need. In the article, “Lives destroyed by happy pills: As our use of antidepressants DOUBLES in a decade, experts say thousands are being given dangerous drugs they don’t need” by Jerome Burne it claims, “one of the reasons misdiagnosis happen is because the official test GP’s use to check if you’re depressed involves two very basic questions: During the past month, have you been bothered by feeling down, depressed or hopeless? During the past month, have you been bothered by having little interest or pleasure in doing things?” (Burne 1) The problem with this method is that people can easily lie or put up an act. Although these questions could help doctors get a sense of what is going on with their patients and their mental status, it shouldn’t be based around it and be the top technique to how to get inside their client’s head.

Besides not taking the time to really hear what their patient is saying, there is also the issue of underlying medical condition, this is a medical condition that is under wraps and less noticeable because it is outshined by a more obvious one, and they can also contribute to the individual’s disease and are considered co-diseases. The underlying medical condition is the cause of the illness and if misdiagnosed can produce a big problem. Since in different cases the issue can be assisted earlier and cured. According to the mental illness policy, it claims that because not many people have a medical issue disguised as a mental illness, doctors often skip the step and don’t look for them at all. Since these are the cause of mental illnesses it produces a huge problem. Although not everyone may have them, because of it’s impact on individuals health it should be looked into. A lot of people may not even notice that they may have an underlying medical condition. In the article, “Confusing medical ailments with mental illness” by Melinda Beck, some examples are shown to prove that anyone can have these and can go unnoticed or unexplained until further diagnosis. An example would be, “A new mother’s exhaustion and disinterest in her baby seem like postpartum depression—but actually signal a postpartum thyroid imbalance that medication can correct.” Any person would simply believe that the exhaustion of being a new mother would stress any individual out and that that’s all it is. If the person visits the doctor they may be told the same thing or that the stress is too much to bear therefore, leading them down a path to depression. This example could further prove the point as to why diagnosis should go more into depth of the person and what exactly they are going through to better service their needs.

               A lot of harm can happen from a person taking medications that they aren’t supposed to be taking. There are side effects such as nausea, headaches, diarrhea, grogginess etc. A person who is mentally healthy shouldn’t be taking the same medication as a person who’s mind is jumbled, racing and can’t deal with day to day situations. The medication is used to get the mentally ill person to relax and be level headed so when a person who isn’t suffering from depression or any illness that would require this medication, uses it they can feel like a zombie and sick. This due to the fact that the individual and the medicine aren’t compatible. Everyone is different which causes dissimilar situations. In “How Misdiagnosis Prevented Me from Moving on to Recovery” by Andy Behrman, he speaks on his experience with his misdiagnosis of depression and his rollercoaster ride of different unneeded medication. He was misdiagnosed by 8 different physicians leading him to believe that he really was undergoing depression when in reality he was battling bipolar disorder. Physicians went as far as putting him through electroconvulsive therapy and completed 19 electroshock sessions. “It was then that my doctor ordered me to continue “maintenance treatment.” I had a total of 19 electroshock treatments, until I realized I had become addicted to the premedication of the procedure and asked my doctor to bring the treatment to a halt” (Behrman 1) Not only did he have to undergo all of these shock treatments but he began to develop an addiction to the procedure further proving the harm that these medications can have on patients. When he was finally correctly diagnosed with bipolar disorder, Behrman went through 37 different prescribed medications to control his illness. The effects all these medicines had on him was outrageous and he claims to have experienced every side effect there is. These treatments and their side effects prevented him from holding down a stable job, home etc. He was incapable of living his life freely.

            To sum it all up, doctors are believed to solve all problems when issues come up with one’s health. Individuals don’t always believe that their physicians can sometimes be producing more harm than assistance. If the time isn’t taken into find the root of the problem and how to solve it, a person may never live their life to its full extent. Misdiagnosis can happen on a number of different occasions because of different complications, but if the person is fully heard and the doctor puts it’s all into finding the solution for the persons mental issues, then a good outcome should come about.

                                                           Works Cited

Behrman, Andy. “How Misdiagnosis Prevented Me from Moving on to Recovery.”Http://www.namimass.org/. Random House. Web. 21 Nov. 2014.

Beck, Melinda. “NEWS: When Medical Ailments Mimic Mental Illness.”Http://lymedisease.org/. Wall Street Journal, 9 Aug. 2011. Web. 21 Nov. 2014.

Diamond, Ron. “HOW TO TELL IF SOMEONE DIAGNOSED WITH A MENTAL ILLNESS, HAS ANOTHER MEDICAL DISORDER (THAT MAY HAVE LED TO A MISDIAGNOSIS).”Http://mentalillnesspolicy.org/. 1 Feb. 2011. Web. 21 Nov. 2014.

Burne, Jerome. “Lives Destroyed by Happy Pills: As Our Use of Antidepressants DOUBLES in a Decade, Experts Say Thousands Are Being given Dangerous Drugs They Don’t Need.”Http://www.dailymail.co.uk. Mailonline, 29 June 2010. Web. 21 Nov. 2014.

In society so many teenagers use technology especially cell phones to text, look things up, FaceTime or use it for other video chats, and use it to call as well. Teenagers don’t understand how this could effect them for the future. Using cell phones has so many health effects on teenagers such as sleeping, eating and etc. Since back in the days when the cell phone came out it hadn’t been so big till it had been more and more modernized. Cell phones have become so big because their is so much to look at now besides just calling. For instance, if it has GPS, PDA, MPA capabilities. The cell phone has not only changed our world from being 24/7 but also different than history before us (The History of the Mobile Phone). Cell phones have become a part of everyone’s life and even more with teenagers. Many studies have been done on teenagers to show how cell phones effect teenagers physical health.

Teenagers want to be actively involved with societies new technologies like cell phones without knowing the physical consequences. So many factors lead to the physical effects on teenagers. Teenagers want to be involved with everything going on in the world so they are more prone to wanting to be on their phones. In an article called “Excessive Mobile Phone Use Affects Sleep in Teens” a study was done by Gaby Badre who took twenty-one  healthy subjects from ages 14-20 and different tests were done between two groups. Their was a control group and an experimental group in the control group they saw they made fewer calls and texts rather than the experimental group. Young teens who get to use their phones more are more restless, careless lifestyles, disrupted sleep, more stress and fatigue and etc. As stated in the article, “Addiction to cell phone is becoming common. Youngsters feel a group pressure to remain inter-connected and reachable round the clock. Children start to use mobile phones at an early stage of their life. There seem to be a connection between intensive use of cell phones and health compromising behaviour such as smoking, snuffing and use of alcohol” (Badre 1). You can see this with family members lately kids want tablets and cell phones and are constantly on it. More and more teenagers want cell phones to be like everyone else. Teenagers can have these long lasting affects if they don’t start to cut down on using their cell phones.

Serious physical affects teenagers should become aware of but are not really paying attention to it. Their are beyond so many affects technology like cell phones can cause on a teenagers physical body and they aren’t aware of. Their are problems with sleep being disrupted, wrist and fingers suffering, falling grades and etc. The main cause of cramping in fingers is from texting which teenagers do so much of it. In an article, “Here’s What A Constantly Plugged-In Life Is Doing To Kids’ Bodies” it stated, average teen sends 3,417 texts a month, which is about seven an hour” (3). This is beyond excessive and it only keeps getting worse with the newer generation of kids and the more advanced technology is becoming. Teenagers don’t become aware of how often they text it is really bad as was stated in the article Texting May Be Taking a Toll Hafner stated, “They do it late at night when their parents are asleep. They do it in restaurants and while crossing busy streets. They do it in the classroom with their hands behind their back. They do it so much their thumbs hurt” (1). Not being aware of how much you use your phone has begun to be a huge problem with younger teens. The more advance things are getting the more teenagers will begin to get involved.

Teenagers use on cellphones can only get worse with no adult encouragement. Teenagers are constantly connected to the media and much more through their phones. Constant use on their cellphones with no one to tell them otherwise at all times. Kids younger than thirteen shouldn’t have these big phones right away they could start of with something small to use for just calls. Adults getting their children all these new technological devices at a young age is getting them used to the worse already an possible affects as they get older.