Research project: Pre draft

Belonging Needs: The effects of interpersonal relationships

Belonging needs correlates with happiness and individual’s well-being. Happiness has a different meaning to every individual, every individual has different things that brings them happiness. The key to happiness are the bonds and close relationships that are made between an individual and others. Humans value the healthy relationships they’ve made throughout their lives, it’s made a huge difference in the growth of humanity. Belonging needs are a reflection of the desire to be loved have friendships and being family oriented. The importance of belonging needs in personal relationships whether it’s a friendship, family, or romantic, people value close relationships. Everyone deserves to feel like their accepted, loved, and that their important in an individual’s life. Not being accepted or belonged can cause an individual to feel unwanted, lonely, depressed, and have low self-esteemed which cause their well-being and happiness to diminish. To be accepted by others brings forth a great feeling of importance. If an individual has never experienced love, love may not have value to them rather than a person who has experienced love whether in a relationship or family based are able to love others. Individuals are motivated to keep these relationships because it’s satisfying their needs. Interpersonal relationships are needed in order to grow as an individual. The need to belong increases satisfaction in personal relationships well-being and happiness.

Belonging needs are influential in the motivation of individual’s everyday life through social interactions. Individuals seek the need to have frequent interactions with others, people who care about their welfare. Mark Leary states, “Human beings have a persuasive drive to form and maintain at least a minimum quantity of lasting positive, and significant interpersonal relationship” (Leary 497). As human beings individuals enjoy interactions with others showing concern for one another. Without a sense of belongingness causes individuals to have a variety of ill effects such as depression, loneliness, and so on. Constant attachments are made in order to form and maintain relationships. Approval of others are influential towards forming and maintaining social bonds. Belonging needs can be as important and captivating as Maslow’s basic needs of water, shelter, and food. Li-Or states, “Because belonging helps us survive” (Li-Or 1), human beings need each other in order to survive individuals cannot survive without the help of others. Feeling needed results in people to have more meaning in their lives and boost self-esteem, making an individual feel valuable. Li-Or states, “draw strength from within rather than be dependent on others, but until we strengthen ourselves, belongingness to groups of people with life experience and compassion that can offer comfort can be our rocks in stormy seas” (Li-Or 1), belonging in groups settings result in individuals involving as a person and having a support system.

Without the development of close bonds individuals will begin to feel a sense of loneliness. Interactions and connecting with others are natural in human behavior creating affectionate bonds. Roy Baumeister states, “People are eager to have close relationships and are reluctant to break them once formed… People often avoid permanent separation (breakups, divorce, death), even when the costs of staying in the relationship are greater than leaving” (Baumeister 1). Individuals find it very hard to break bonds even if it is unhealthy in their lives because it is of such value in their lives. With relationships comes emotional attachment positive feelings as well as negative feelings. Shaver and Buhrmester suggested, “That feelings of loneliness can be precipitated either by an insufficient amount of social contact (social loneliness)… Or by lack of meaningful, intimate relatedness (emotional loneliness).” (Shaver, Buhrmester 501). Loneliness can be divided into two different aspects there emotional and social loneliness this can be causes without relationship interactions. When in relationships and things are on bad terms separation causes sadness and stress. Once a relationship ends individuals will quickly form another relationship to fill that void in their lives through gradually sharing experiences, “when a bond is broken, people will readily pursue another in its place” (Baumeister 1). Since individuals value relationships so much once a relationship ends they need to fill that void an get rid of all bad emotions in order to feel that happy feeling that they once felt. Some individuals need love, affection, and closeness with people more than others but in the end of it all everyone needs someone in order to survive.

Lack of belongingness leads to various undesirable effects in an individual’s behavior and health. Belongingness is a need that individuals desire, loss of interpersonal bonds and relationships cause emotional distress. Which is an emotional reaction towards a situation which can include anxiety, jealousy, fear, and suffering. Mark Leary states, “people who do not have adequate supportive relationships experience greater stress then those who do… having other people available for support and assistance can enhance coping and can provide a buffer again stress” (Leary 508). People who have close relationship bonds with individuals that can help them cope with life experiences, tend to not experience stress as much as people who don’t have these relationships.

Works Cited

Baumeister, Roy F., and Mark R. Leary. “The Need to Belong: Desire for Interpersonal Attachments as a Fundamental Human Motivation.” Psychological Bulletin 117.3 (1995): 497-529. Web.

“Belonging: Why Do We Need a Sense of Belonging?” SayWhyDoIcom. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 Nov. 2014.

“The.” “Need to Belong” N.p., n.d. Web. 24 Nov. 2014.

 

 

 

 

Research project part 2 (updated version)

The topic of my research project is how happiness is found more in third world countries compared to developed countries. Many people go from their home land to a well-developed country looking for ways to make more money and be more successful, these people call this the American dream.  This topic is interesting to me because many people say they want to live the “American dream”, but at the same time they then want to go on vacation and/or retire somewhere else. Many people hear happiness and they turn to money, materialistic things and etc. Happiness is not just the possessions you may have, but it is more of what, other than possessions, will make you truly happy. People would fall in love with money and working and forget to give attention to their families. Many people who believe money makes an individual truly happy are the ones who wake up hating their jobs and treating others with a bad attitude. These individuals are not truly happy because they do not take the time off to relax and release stress with their families or close friends. When an individual is truly happy they will be at peace with themselves. To wake up and love what you do throughout the day, love the person oneself is, and love the people who surrounds oneself, is truly being happy.  This interests me and it should interest others as well because it can teach others that happiness is achieved in the smallest matter. In the smallest matter meaning being satisfied with where and how one lives, with the job one has, and being satisfied with the people who spends time with one and etc. Individuals do not necessarily need to have the biggest house nor the newest car in the market. These things are great satisfying goods of course; but as long as an individual has supporting and caring people around them they will be happy.

 

Some of the resources I will be using will be a documentary movie called “happy” and a post from Forbes staff called “The Happiest (And Saddest) Countries in the World”. Both these resources are relevant to my project because it backs up my idea. Some of the questions I will be addressing are Does the “American Dream” really make people happy? What do they do that makes them happy/happier? Who are they mostly around with? Do people in 3rd world countries work harder or less than people in the U.S? Does this contribute to their happiness?

 

Annotated Works Cited

 

Christopher Helman. “The Happiest (And Saddest) Countries in the World” Forbes

C.H. 9 January, 2013 WEB

http://www.forbes.com/sites/christopherhelman/2013/01/09/the-worlds-happiest-and-saddest-countries-2/

http://www.prosperity.com/#!/ (prosperity index)

This post talks about the different countries they have analyzed throughout the years. They use a “prosperity index” by Legatum Institute to figure out and rank the different countries in the world. This index ranks countries according to economy, health, personal freedom and etc. The index shows that small countries like (Norway) can be small and not so developed but have very happy people. It goes to show that happiness is not attained by working more hours but by having more hours with close friends and family.

 

Darius20190, “Developing countries much happier than first world countries” LiveLeak.

Darius0190, 31 July, 2014 WEB

Read more at http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=ccd_1406807536#tSKSxkBIhtm9okot.99

This blog talks about how developing countries are happier than developed countries. It shows that people who are part of countries that are not so wealthy, tend to be happier because these individuals know more than money and materialistic possessions. “People in poor countries can find joy in the moral satisfaction that often is not available to citizens of the developed countries.” (Darius0190)

 

Happy directed by Roko Belic, produced by Eiji Han Shimizu, Frances Reid, Tom Shadyac, edited by Vivian Hillgrove. 2011

This documentary movie asks people from the city what being happy is to them and if they are really happy. It also questions people from third world countries (like India) if they are happy. Some interviews/ documentaries are of how people live in these countries. Also it shows what individuals do and who these individuals surround themselves with. The interviews done explores a variety of people all over the world to be able to come to the conclusion of who are happier. The movie proves how people can have nothing and still feel satisfied and happy with how they are living.

 

Second draft proposal

I decided to change my topic a bit. Instead of researching happiness in abused foster children I was going to take a few steps back and research happiness and well being in foster children. When I went to research the topic to find my sources a lot of links came up. I figured I would get a better amount of articles and other research if instead of just using plane Google I would instead use Google scholar. This helped narrow down the links and sources that I got. Foster care is a huge issue nowadays. Most foster children and put into homes where the foster parent already has at least a dozen other foster children. Stating the fact that everyone knows that if you take care of a foster child you get money from the government. There’s a lot of questions that can be asked as to why the amount of children in the foster care system is slowly increasing every year. Every child although if they are in foster care should be able to have the chance to achieve well being and happiness. If a child is not able to do so then their life can and will be affected drastically. For example school is a big issue. The can end up acting out in school and have behavioral issues. Seeking attention anyway they can get it. Some foster children are put through abuse and neglect.

Bruskas, D. (2008), Children in Foster Care: A Vulnerable Population at Risk. Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing, 21: 70–77. doi: 10.1111/j.1744-6171.2008.00134.x

This article was all about foster care and the effect it has on a child well-being. Stating that children in foster care have been through traumatic events and also abuse. Loosing the child’s parents or knowing they didn’t want them can have a huge impact on the child’s life. Considering they are young when this all happens. In the article it states “experience feelings of confusion, fear, apprehension of the unknown, loss, sadness, anxiety, and stress.” A child’s life is becoming a mess before they even hit puberty. The article also talks about how if a child is going through any of these feeling (named above) need to be treated as soon as possible. Or negative affects can occur such as problems with development of issues with mental health.

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0190740904002117

This article talks about how two studies were conducted. The studies were basically about the well being of children in foster care. In most cases children in foster care don’t usually stay in one foster home for very long. This can cause the child to be unstable, due to them never being in a stable environment. In the article it states “Children adjust well to long-term foster care”. Children are happy in a environment where they know well. So having children stay in one foster home for a extensive period of time will benefit the child in the end. In the article it talked about how a study was conducted. Talking about how most children were happier in all aspects of life in the current place that they were in. Other children felt that they weren’t getting all the help that they needed, and they wanted more. This resulted in the foster child not liking their foster parent. A foster child should be happy in the home that they are in, and if they are not they should be switched to another home where they have a better chance of being happy.

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/106/Supplement_3/909.short

This article talks about how that they are almost 750,000 children who are in foster care, but that’s only in the united states. Also talking about how more people are trying to push adoption so that children in foster care will not increase. Most children who are put into foster care already have mental health or developmental problems. What is even worse is that the children in foster care who do have this problems are not treated with the right care. So the problems that the child has may get worse because of the treatment they are not receiving but need. Most people would call that neglect. The article also talked about how these problems can be decreased also increasing the well-being of the child. This can be done by evaluating the foster parents more thoroughly to insure that the people they are putting these children with are able to take care of them the right way.

Apps help but not really.

My thoughts about these happiness apps are a little diverse. In one side I think they are might be good to collect data such as a person’s location where they live, their gender, ethnicity etc. and see how that affects their wellbeing. Meaning, if they have economic stability, enough resources provided by the government and so on. However, I also think that the apps are not enough for a person to reach happiness. Yes, it gives some tips of what can be done to feel better at the moment. Although, it doesn’t give you exact processes that would help you solve the problems that may be affecting your happiness. Here are some thoughts about some of the apps:

“Track your happiness” is the app that makes you take a survey at the beginning asking you about general information about yourself, like gender, ethnicity, age etc. then this app sends you surveys to your email where at the beginning of the day, the middle and at night. In each of these surveys there are about 15 questions that ask you what you are doing, how do you feel, etc. At the end of each survey this app collects the data and graphs it in correlation with your happiness and activities accordingly. I think this app is not so helpful to improve a person’s happiness but more like to collect information of how people’s happiness is affected by their environment and daily activities.

“Happy habits” is an app that you can download to your phone and this app contains a series of activities that you can do to increase your level of happiness at the moment. I first took the survey with 119 questions, which at the end gave me a detailed summary of what are my characteristics as a person and how i could improve in them to be happy. The summary about the characteristics measured them from low, average and high. The characteristics measured were: optimism, illness susceptibility, locus of control, compassion, trusting of others, affiliation, pleasantness, emotional stability, conscientiousness, assertiveness, self-confidence, gratefulness, approval seeking, and playfulness. Mines ended up being sort of accurate I would say, and the advice that they give is realistic. Asides from the test this app contains information that educates people about cognitive psychology, which is the approach the application takes. Moreover, they have meditation techniques and activities that are in fact relaxing and help improve happiness. I have tried meditation before and I can say that after it I would always end up relaxed and feeling fresh in mind and body.

Emotion sense app claimed that they were going to collect data from my phone including my location, texts, calls and more. When I read this, I immediately went back and did not agree to the terms and conditions. I already don’t trust facebook and some other websites that have my private information. I obviously wouldn’t like another app to get this private information from me. I would feel very uncomfortable with someone reading my messages or spying on my calls. Not that I have anything bad or embarrassing to hide but I just like the fact that I can keep some things to myself.

My Escape

Living in a big city such as New York City there are various areas for me that brings me happiness. The area that stands out the most to me is central park. The environment and just being around nature calms me. Central park is such a beautiful park there’s a large amount of areas where i can just relax not having to worry about being bothered, either sitting on a bench or laying my blanket out on the grass to read a book. If I happen to be having a hard day sitting in the park to clear my mind allows my stress and worries to diminish, its my way of escaping all of the troubles in the world such as my work load for my college courses. I’m a nature person I love to be around nature such as flowers, grass, and picnic settings. Even when the season’s change the vibe of central park will never change for me, that happy feeling will never disappear.

Sitting in central park on a warm summer day reading a book while the winds blows is very relaxing. A huge factor for me in my happiness is being relaxed, satisfied and completely calm and content. Being able to be taken to a complete different place not having to worry about anything and just feeling free,it amazes me that one special place can do that for me. Nothing matters the moment I’m  there because the only feeling i have is happiness I’m not feeling sad, depressed, nor angry it takes me to a different world.

Although, central park is my happy place I’m not the only one I’ve noticed on days that I’ve been there that many people seemed very happy as well. From children running around playing enjoying the weather, Individuals training for a marathon, street performers dancing, and couples taking their first steps into marriage. Central park is such an amazing, beautiful, peaceful environment.

Pre-Draft Essay thesis

what does Happiness fulfill for us?Happiness can mean different things and different people experience happiness in many ways.Happiness have always been a big part of people lives along with hope .It became a huge factor in society .Happiness cannot be brought by money ,possessions like a car,jewelry or name brand clothes .In the article “how to buy happiness” by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton , doing the little things with people it make a difference of happiness .Even spending money  on others it provide an boost In moral . Like the article says How we use our money may matter as much or more then how much of it we got.So get up and make yourself happy instead of waiting around for it to get to you .So what make you happy ?

Pre-draft essay #1

Happiness. Could it be the hardest thing to achieve in life? Happiness isn’t just something that happens over night. You either earn it or you don’t. “How to by happiness” by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton. Money buying happiness doesn’t seem natural in anyway. It’s unethical to have the amount of your happiness based upon the money you have in your pocket. “What suffering does” by David brooks. Explaining a whole new meaning on how happiness can be accomplished. Suffering…. Shaping us as new people as we go through it, with the end result of happiness. Learning who we really are and what we a capable of brings new meaning to what people call happiness.

Achieving Happiness

Wouldn’t an individual want to know the tricks and secrets on how to achieve happiness? Ones goal and desire is to be and live a happy lifestyle. There is various definitions on what happiness is and what brings an individual happiness. Although, every individual is different there has been several studies that show how one can boost their happiness in their everyday life. Most people will assume that the rich are happier than the poor. Shockley having an excessive amount of money does not influence in ones happiness. Happiness is achieved by factors such as socializing, experiences, and the way an individual spends money not by the amount.

Essay #1 Pre- Draft : Thesis Paragraph

 Does having a surplus amount of money allow you to fulfilled and obtain full happiness?

Can Happiness be obtained? This is proven in the article, “How to buy happiness” by

Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton and the article, “How to buy happiness” by Sonja

Lyubomirsky that explains the amount of money we have and how we spend it can

influence and be very beneficial to obtaining happiness and well-being,. Both of these

articles given idea of happiness but at the same times it’s illustrated by a different stand

point.

Victory is Mine

After listening to both of the victory speeches by Democratic nominee, Bill De Blasio and Republic Nominee, Joe Lhota I noticed that they had many similarities and some differences. Starting with Bill De Blasio one main thing that stood out to me was that he is a very family oriented person. He based most of achievements being successful because of his family. His family not only being his wife, daughter and son but the whole democratic team that stood with him along the way. Bill De Blasio also based his speech on the sad day we will never forget, 9/11. He said on that day the heroic figures of New York didn’t think twice about laying down their lives for complete strangers. The main goal was to make sure no one was left behind and that is what he is going to accomplish. He wants to make sure everyone is serviced. He was told that he was “Guilty of being to bold.” Guilty of being to bold because people found that asking for a little more tax from the wealthy was to much, the sights that were set for children were to high and the quality of his thinking was to strong. But he believes that being bold is what being a true new Yorker consists. Not settling for less as he said is a chance he can not afford to take. He wants to ensure that every child has the same opportunity to get a proper education. He wants to change the fact that half our country is living below standards and in poverty. He disagrees with the way the police is portraying the stop and frisk movement and feels like they are mainly tackling people of color. Overall Bill De Blasios main factor to continue to strengthen his people in the best way possible.

Unlike Bill De Blasio, Joe Lhota had a different approach. He was mainly focused on decreasing taxes and creating more well paying jobs. He agreed with the way that the police were portraying the stop and frisk policy. He states that he will unify city and create a new and different vision. everyone Wants safer streets and he believes that can happen if we support the NYPD. He is determined that he can bring crime rates down and what ever he says will be done. Having experience and being able to balance out difficult situations is who he believes should be the mayor. Its not about being a democrat or a republican its about who can stand strong through everything. In comparison to Bill De he also believes that every child should have the same opportunity to attend college. opening more charter schools and making the economy for affordable is his mission. He stands as a honest man and states the truth about everything that he says and sees.

In connection to our views on happiness I feel that to these candidates happiness comes from seeing their city and people grow. knowing that what they said during their speeches comes to play and doesn’t just disappear after they are elected. It seems to me Bill De Blasios happiness draws from the unity of the people of new York and Joe Lhotas happiness comes from provided effectual change in new York. For them it does not seem to be all about money but more on what changes and improvements needs to be made.