10/16/14 Class Notes

Today in class we discussed how to put all essays ideas and evidence together in a formal way to convince the reader of your own opinion.

HomeWork for Tuesday 10/21:

*Essay #1 Final (for grade) Draft , Email professor Belli the Word Document File Before class, also submit the portfolio folder in class

*Remember, proffesor Belli will not be in class next week but the essay is still due and class will still be in session (there will be a subsitute with work for the class) , If you have not received the proffesors revision of your first draft, email her so that you are able to pick it up tommorow, or so the proffesor can scan it to you

*Reminders* Email proffesor Belli the final essay draft correctly: ( Your Name, Essay1, Final Draft ) She will respond “thankyou” if she has received it correctly

The portfolio folder should include:   Cover letter and final draft, previous draft and peer review sheets, also any related free writing that you may want to include. (free writings do not have to be typed.)


it is how you approach the reader about your idea.

Many have been making the mistake of sounding to chatty, or like they are talking to a friend. Keep in mind you are writing a formal essay, caps and exclamation points (!!) are inappropriate.

Third Person:

Many are having difficulties staying in the third person, remember “in my opinion” etc.. is in 1st person,

Using the third person will make you sound confident about your idea and you will better convince the reader, for example “This is the case …” This way you are convincing the reader to see the idea through your eyes.

Topic Sentences:

Keep in mind that the topic sentence should be specific. It should consiste of a fact and why is it significant. Topic sentences should 1. Introduce the main claim, 2. Relate to the thesis, 3. Connect to the previous paragraph

The transition handout can be of much help.

After you finish your final draft make sure to double check your arguments. Write down your topic sentences in a seperate sheet of paper and read them. Does it make sense? Do they flow with each other? Does it make sense? After that proof read, read it outloud and slowly.

Incorporate Evidence:

After quoting remember to analize it. Why is the quote significant to your paragraph? Does it belong there? Does it relate? What is your point? It should show the reader what you are trying to say. Good ways to start analyzing is “This statement shows, this example portrays…” etc

Quotes, texts, and topic sentences should not start with because. The evidence handout can be helpful.


The essay should be in the present tense and so should words when introducing quotes. For example  “proffesor Belli argues/talks/asks…” After including a quote you should cite it like this: (last name of author and page number) no comma in between. If you have already introduced the quote with the authors name then you do not have to include it while you cite it, just include the page number.

 Works Cited Page:

This page should include the articles you stated in your paragraphs, it should be at the end of the essay.

Color Coding:

This is a technique to help you get your ideas together. It is using a color to highlight a certain idea and another color to highlight another idea. You would do this throughout your essay and see if you have any ideas that are the same in different paragraphs. This technique can help some people do better organize their paragraphs. This video can be helpful to explain color coding aswell.


Many people did titles and others did not. The professor wants us to try the two part title. It is having a catchy frase a colon (:) and then something else, preferably your point on the essay. Try your best on completing the title as asked –>    _______ : _______

 I hope everyone finds my notes to be very helpful, if any questions please contact me through open lab message.

Achieving Happiness

Wouldn’t an individual want to know the tricks and secrets on how to achieve happiness? Ones goal and desire is to be and live a happy lifestyle. There is various definitions on what happiness is and what brings an individual happiness. Although, every individual is different there has been several studies that show how one can boost their happiness in their everyday life. Most people will assume that the rich are happier than the poor. Shockley having an excessive amount of money does not influence in ones happiness. Happiness is achieved by factors such as socializing, experiences, and the way an individual spends money not by the amount.

Pre-daft Essay Thesis Paragraph

“Happiness,” is what people desire. It’s been questioned by many on how to boost our own happiness. In “What Good is Money If It Can’t Buy Happiness?” by Sonja Lyubomirsky and “How To Buy Happiness” by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton it’s argued that the way we spend our cash not just influence, but can boost our happiness. In “Why Conservatives Are Happier Than Liberal,” by Arthur C. Brooks, it argues that the way you live you life, your own beliefs are one of many factors on happiness. In “How Happy Are you?…” by John Tierney; it discuss the government involvement with promoting and measuring the happiness of the population. All of these text suggested that happiness is a desire that we can achieve in different ways.