Many different cultures has their own parenting style. Many would believe that the Chinese way of parenting can be crude, especially to Americans. Chinese parents have high expectations for their children. The expectations of their child getting straight A’s, learning the violin or the piano had many non-Asians defining them as tiger parents. Tiger parents seems to be unloving, strict, and controlling, they do have a connection and relationship with their children. Children doesn’t have to be from the age of five to fourteen, Chinese parents use this term in context of his or her sons and daughter no matter their age. The thirty-five year old Chinese male will still be refer as a child to their parents. Chinese parents expressed love differently then the Americans. Instead of verbally expressing love to their child or with loving gestures like hugs, tiger parents shows their love and communicate by making their favorite dish for dinner, engage in their child’s education progress, and even by what other may see of controlling. These communications and show of love fulfilled the child’s happiness as much as any parenting style would.
Tiger parents do not verbally use the phrase, “I love you” or give out loving gestures like hugs and so as their children. In “Do Asian-American Parents Push Their Kids?”, Kathy Seal expressed, “Westerners who don’t see Asian-American parents hugging and kissing their children or praise them in words may think them cold.” However, it is not that they don’t love them, but they want to the child to know who has authority. It can be compare to an individual won’t be saying phrases like “I love you” to his or her employer. For the child, the show of love and communication is quite similar. Children tend to show their love without the use of words nor using loving gestures. Even though the phrases like “I love you” and loving gestures are not ban from the relationship, however one can say this show of love can happen once in a blue moon.
Instead of the use of words and loving gestures, tiger parents show their love by doing simple tasks that the child loves. One thing the child expect their tiger parents to do is to be “guan” (Seal 1) In other words, Although children would out tiger parents feels that when they are being questioned and told what to do may seems annoying to them, children with tiger parents love the be controlled and demanded from their tiger parents. The children feels and know that the parent care about them. It is what these children is used to and they understand the the meaning of “ guan” as the parents giving them attention. (Seal 1) In a American Television show; Family Guy, an episode shows how westerner see Asian parents; an Asian parents are portray as a not loving towards their child. The Asian dad walks into his son room and ask, “Are you a doctor yet?” and the son replied, “No dad, I’m twelve.” The father then response, “Talk to me when you a doctor.” However the truth behind that is the tiger dad cares about the son and want him to be live up to his potentials.
The tiger parents show of love and communication of controlling and demanding involves with the child success. Many children with non-tiger parents might see the stress that the children of tiger parent has. This is one big purpose of why tiger parents are tiger parents. The want of their children to be successful when they are in their education, jobs, and overall their life. Success to tiger parents on their children would be the child being on the top of his or her class, having gold medals on different academic subjects, and having an full score on the exam. The success of the child doesn’t end there, as for the “children” that are in their adulthood, success involve the child getting married, having kids, being self-sufficient and be able to help out other family members.
Seal, Kathy. “Asian-American Parents: Pushy or Perfect?” Pacific Standard. N.p., 18 Jan. 2011. Web. 24 Nov. 2014.
“Family Guy – Asian Family.” YouTube. YouTube, 14 Jan. 2011. Web. 24 Nov. 2014.