Revisions

Honestly at first I thought the whole part about taking each other’s papers home and revising them was a waste of time. I thought that I wouldn’t get good feedback. When ended up happening was I did get good feedback. I learned that my thesis needed to be better explained becuase it was kind of conflicting with what I was saying. After reading through my peer review sheet I noticed that some sentences were taking up space and should be their, I also realized that my thesis needed to be the last sentence of my introduction. I made a good argument, but some paragraphs were talking about more then one topic. When I’m writing my final draft I will be sure to read over everything more carefully to make sure thag the first sentence states what the paragraph will be about and most importantly that the paragraph is about one thing.

It was said that my essay was to personal at some point so I will adjust my personal experience so that it’s no longer to personal. In class I changed my thesis with the help of a peer who peer reviewed my draft, and together I feel we made up a more appropriate thesis for my essay. While I’m writing my final draft I will take into consideration on the comments and feedback I got on my essay from my peer. Making sure that I actually make changes to what is being said and not just change a few words around. In my review paper my peer wrote that I came off a little to strong so when writing my final draft I will be sure to change my wording in certain paragraphs and sentences so I don’t come off as strong as I did in my pre draft

Achieving Happiness

Wouldn’t an individual want to know the tricks and secrets on how to achieve happiness? Ones goal and desire is to be and live a happy lifestyle. There is various definitions on what happiness is and what brings an individual happiness. Although, every individual is different there has been several studies that show how one can boost their happiness in their everyday life. Most people will assume that the rich are happier than the poor. Shockley having an excessive amount of money does not influence in ones happiness. Happiness is achieved by factors such as socializing, experiences, and the way an individual spends money not by the amount.

Pre-daft Essay Thesis Paragraph

“Happiness,” is what people desire. It’s been questioned by many on how to boost our own happiness. In “What Good is Money If It Can’t Buy Happiness?” by Sonja Lyubomirsky and “How To Buy Happiness” by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton it’s argued that the way we spend our cash not just influence, but can boost our happiness. In “Why Conservatives Are Happier Than Liberal,” by Arthur C. Brooks, it argues that the way you live you life, your own beliefs are one of many factors on happiness. In “How Happy Are you?…” by John Tierney; it discuss the government involvement with promoting and measuring the happiness of the population. All of these text suggested that happiness is a desire that we can achieve in different ways.