Revisions

Honestly at first I thought the whole part about taking each other’s papers home and revising them was a waste of time. I thought that I wouldn’t get good feedback. When ended up happening was I did get good feedback. I learned that my thesis needed to be better explained becuase it was kind of conflicting with what I was saying. After reading through my peer review sheet I noticed that some sentences were taking up space and should be their, I also realized that my thesis needed to be the last sentence of my introduction. I made a good argument, but some paragraphs were talking about more then one topic. When I’m writing my final draft I will be sure to read over everything more carefully to make sure thag the first sentence states what the paragraph will be about and most importantly that the paragraph is about one thing.

It was said that my essay was to personal at some point so I will adjust my personal experience so that it’s no longer to personal. In class I changed my thesis with the help of a peer who peer reviewed my draft, and together I feel we made up a more appropriate thesis for my essay. While I’m writing my final draft I will take into consideration on the comments and feedback I got on my essay from my peer. Making sure that I actually make changes to what is being said and not just change a few words around. In my review paper my peer wrote that I came off a little to strong so when writing my final draft I will be sure to change my wording in certain paragraphs and sentences so I don’t come off as strong as I did in my pre draft