Rewrite

I came out at sunset into the streets of Salem Village where I met my beautiful wife, Faith. At the sight of her I could tell that my presence would please her more then to see me part. As we met, we kissed while the wind played with pink ribbons on her cap, enhancing her beauty which only made the tensions of my departure grow.

“Dearest heart” she whispered, softly and rather sadly, “pr’ythee, put off your journey until sunrise, and sleep in your own bed to-night”. As much as I would rather be with the loving comfort of my wife I most continue on my journey. Continuing she said “A lone woman is troubled with such dreams and such thoughts, that she’s afeard of herself, sometimes. Pray, tarry with me this night, dear husband, of all nights in the year!”

Little did she know how much she did move me, but the call of duty was upon me as I was dedicated to answer and to see what awaited. “My Love and my Faith” Trying my best to bring forth the trust and love she had for me to the surface, “My journey, as thou callest it, forth and back again, must needs be done ‘twixt now and sunrise. What, my sweet, pretty wife, dost thou doubt me already, and we but three months married!”

I stared as she gazed into my eyes, as if she was searching for the hidden truths behind my words. An overwhelming swallow came upon me “Then God bless you!”- I shook suddenly- “and may you find all well, when you come back!” she said.

I smiled uncontrollable at the furry hidden in such a gentle woman that was wrapped with patients and understanding. Faith, as one may call it. “Amen!” I cried. Maybe trying to startle her just the same, but unsuccessfully. “Say thy prayers, dear faith, and go to bed at dusk, and no harm will come to thee” and we parted.

I was now on my way through the forest which was torture at its purest definition. I once had the privilege of company along my journey but I caused my own loneliness. Goody Cloyse and her companion guided me through majority of the woods when suddenly I stopped abruptly and gave in to my own fears to continue on. Driven by fear but once again, going back to this unforeseen location saturated with terror I somehow seem to fly away from the diamonds that had took chase.

Suddenly I came upon what can only be described as a towns meeting but of unusual characteristics. The dammed mingling with the priests, the righteous with the witches and all commanded by a figure ahead. The figure- surrounded by giant burning trees that resembled giant touches- commanded authority and received as the crowd sang in harmony. I was baffled.

“Bring forth the converts!” I froze. Then despite my fears my body moved as if my soul was being taken to what can only be described as an altar ahead, I gave in. As I walked I can see my dead father- I am sure it is- and he calls, beckoning me to advance. “Mother?!” “Is that my mother too” I said softly. Looking ahead I watched this familiar figure that only showed despair, throw out her hand to warm me back but It was far too late for me to heed mother’s warnings. I continued without rethink or even trying to find the will.

The minister and good old Deacon Gookin took hold of my arms and led me to the blazing rock. Then appeared the pious teacher of the catechism, my old teacher, along with Martha Carrier, a woman that was known to have accepted the devil’s ring itself. Something was starting that I could not fully comprehend. Confusions took hold of me as I felt the presence of evil. Skimming through the faces at last I found Faith!. “Welcome, my children,” said the dark figure, “to the communion of your race! Ye have found, thus young, your nature and your destiny. My children, look!” A large wind took hold and the crowd turned.

Flashing forth, as it were, in a sheet of flame, the fiend-worshippers were seen; the smile of welcome gleamed darkly on every visage.

The figure in font spoke once again “There are all whom ye have reverenced from youth. Ye deemed them holier than yourselves, and shrank from your own sin, contrasting it with their lives of righteousness, and prayerful aspirations heavenward. Yet, here are they all, in my worshipping assembly! This night it shall be granted you to know their secret deeds” I was only amazed at what was to come. My thoughts were broken as the figure somehow continued to expose the horrors of the towns’ people’s past, only to convince us of our obvious joined evil’s revealing the horrors which would make the righteous scorn.

The silence of my mind was interrupted as the figure announced. “Far more than this! It shall be yours to penetrate, in every bosom, the deep mystery of sin, the fountain of all wicket arts, and which inexhaustibly supplies more evil impulses then human power – than my power, at its utmost! – can make manifest in deeds. And now, my children, look upon each other”

But Faith! Where is Faith? My pale face took sight of my wife the voice said once more “ Lo! There stand, my children!” In one motion, the shape of Evil dipped his hands in liquid that strongly resembled blood to continue laying the mark of baptism upon us. As the hand laid rest, and as my last conscious thoughts vanished I managed to manifest “Faith!, Faith!” I cried, “Look up to Heaven, and resist the Wicked One!”…

As bizarre as it may be, I have never dreamed so vividly that my own faith struggles to hold on to my soul. Like a bewildered man I stumbled into town only regaining full awareness as I saw familiar objects and faces. The memories of the event flashed back continuously, tormenting me.

“how can I find my ‘faith’ now!?” I asked unsuccessfully, with only the wind as my reply

Minutes turns into hours, hours into years; life continues. My wife was subject to my own scrutiny where I could not fully explain its origins. I labeled the town as pure hypocrites for matters that were never disclosed. As for myself, I was a vast field where gloom flourished continuously and thrived; Life continued and so did I, everyday making me a bit more weary.

Essay

In the story Young Goodman Brown we find a man by the name of Goodman Brown who left his newly wedded wife to partake in a journey through the woods that he hoped would have reassure his faith in God. Throughout his journey he was troubled with feelings of concern and worry as he tries to decipher the horrors that laid ahead of him. Only the word of his companions helped him through the walk, clinching onto their promises that he will be unscathed once his destination was reached. Once upon his destination he found himself in sheer awe at the events that his eyes beheld. He was brought to an altar that was laid in front of him where Goodman and his wife was consumed by the powers of the “Dark One”. Whether he hallucinated or not Goodman was never the same for the days to follow.  As strange as it may have seemed, as the story came to its ending we watched Goodman grip to the belief that the town’s people had partook in the Devil’s communion.

Nathaniel Hawthorne, the author of Goodman Brown, writes in the Third Person Limited Omniscient point of view. Through this Hawthorn is limited to the thoughts of others which is only through the view point of the protagonist. With this limited form of narrating, Hawthorne uses imagry to project an idea that can not be express through the protagonist.  In comparison to the original story of Young Goodman Brown, the retelling was written in auto diegetic which is presented through the first person point of view. This point of view is strictly limited to the views of the protagonist as he sees, experiences and thinkings. This means that if it doesnt happen to our protagonist then it is not experience by the reader. Through this imagery can also be used as a powerful technique to expand on ideas that cannot be shown through the experiences of the protagonist. This presents a similarity between both writings of how imagery plays a crucial role in enhancing the quality of both narrating styles.

Through Hawthorne’s writing style we can see that he doesn’t branch off too far into the thoughts of other but uses subtle hints about the scene and the people that are present to project its meaning. This was shown through the imagery of the town’s gathering where Goodman Brown found himself in awe at what was presented before him. The narrator uses the thoughts of Goodman Brown, hints about personalities of the town people and imagery to show the true nature of what was taking place. Initially Hawthorne states “In the interval of silence, he stole forward, until the light glared full upon his face. At one extremity of an open space, hemmed in by the dark wall of the forest, arose a rock, bearing some rude, natural resemblance to either to an altar or a pulpit, and surrounded by four blazing pines… Among them, quivering to-and-fro, between gloom and splendor, appeared faces that would be seen, the next day, at the council-board of the province, and other which, Sabbath after Sabbath, looked devoutly heavenward, and benignantly over the crowed pews, from the holiest pulpits in the land.” This portion of the story was Goodman’s first exposure to the true nature of what was ahead but through this the narrator draw the reader in with the imagery to project an ominous feeling. The pine trees that were a blaze allowed the reader to take Goodman’s previous thoughts of terror in the woods and solidify them into the concept of the story.

Regarding the rewriting we can see that the narrator used the auto diegetic narrative style. This style is limited to the protagonist himself/herself. Through this the reader is trapped within the protagonist’s feelings, thoughts, actions and what he/she sees. Due to the limitations presented with this style of narrating, I adopted the technique of imagery from Hawthorn’s original of Young Goodman Brown. Through this I expanded on what was said with an image that complimented what was trying to be portrayed. The initial paragraph of the rewrite was constructed to enhance the image of Faith to compliment how difficult it was for Goodman to depart. For example “I came out at sunset into the streets of Salem Village where I met my beautiful wife, Faith. At the sight of her I could tell that my presence would please her more then to see me part. As we met, we kissed while the wind played with pink ribbons on her cap, enhancing her beauty which only made the tensions of my departure grow. “Dearest heart” she whispered, softly and rather sadly, “pr’ythee, put off your journey until sunrise, and sleep in your own bed to-night”. As much as I would rather be with the loving comfort of my wife I most continue on my journey. Continuing she said “A lone woman is troubled with such dreams and such thoughts, that she’s afeard of herself, sometimes. Pray, tarry with me this night, dear husband, of all nights in the year!” This example shows imagery and the auto diegetic narrative working hand in hand to enhance the mood of that single moment. Through this the reader is instilled with the understanding of their passion which also adds for dramatic effect for the finale aka his final experience in the woods.

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Retelling

‘Little Salem Village’

Today is the day. I take the people of this Salem village and convert them, and expel the ‘love of god’ out of them. This may not be a simple task, since this village is heavily religious, but everyone is capable of being corrupt. This could be proved by the amount of people I already converted. Getting the ones with the weakest faith in god was definitely a good start. Have them attend my gatherings, go back to their village and help manipulate the citizens, making them easier to catch for me when the time comes. If I could maintain this cycle, the people of Salem will be under my arms, and most importantly, my control.

Now, I was on my way to the gathering in the middle of the forest. Then I laid my eyes upon this young lady with a knotted pink ribbon tying her hair, frightened out of her skin. I try to remember if I ever saw this one in the Salem town I found the others, but I can’t recall. I observe her from my hiding spot to hear what she is talking about to herself.

“A dear God, please let him be safe.” she said to herself. “Why did I ever let him out of my hands and make him go in to these dreadful woods? If only a persuaded him more vigorously…”

Who is this man she speaks of? I haven’t encountered anyone in my journey yet. I need to know. When she approached the tree I was stealthy waiting behind, I approach her with a greeting:

“Hello, you seem to be los-”

“AAHHHH” she screamed, as she back peddled, tripping over a tree branch and falling on the ground. Little did she know, she wasn’t alone after all. She’s lonely, afraid and helpless. This will be easier than I thought.

“Oh, Im so sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you, ma’am.”

“Get away from me!” she said. “Who are you?!? and-and why are you following me???”

“Im sorry to have startled you ma’am. If there is anything I could do to help you, I’ll gladly give you a helping hand. Here, let me help you up.” As I extend my hand she starts to crawl back, avoiding me.

“Im looking for my husband. Have you seen him?”

“Can’t say I have. I’ve been traveling alone for a couple hours. What does he look like?”

“He’s a-” she paused and started reading me, trying to figure me out.

“Here, let me help you”

I extend my staff to her so she could get up. Not knowing what powers I possess in my priceless staff, she grabs on and her demeanor, her trust towards me changed.

“Wh-why thank you for helping me, sir.”

“No problem at all. So, you never told me why you’re in this dreadful forest ”

“Well I trying to look for my husband, Mr. Goodman Brown. You and him kinda look alike.”

As we walk side to side, I tell her where this gathering is, and I part ways with young Faith, with her pink ribbon which now has a bit of dirt on it when she fell during our run-in.

I see a figure walking alone. This has to be him. Mr. Goodman Brown. I sneak towards him to hear what he’s muttering to himself.

“-leaving her like this. She tells me she’s afraid and I run off it to this forest? Leaving her to her nightmares? Maybe I sho-.”

He stops walking and looks around him. I know he can’t see me, but it seems like he feels my existence.

“I feel there is evil hidden within these woods. For all I know, an evil presence may be upon me right now.”

He feverishly looks behind him every couple steps, until I present myself as another lonely traveler. If his loved one was as easy to convert, he will be in my hands in no time. If I somehow fail, I guarantee, his experience with me will stay with him for the rest of his life…

Essay

The point of view that the story is being told in is a major part of how the story flows and how the author wants their messages to be presented.  A tale told in third person has a perspective from an outside source that has no part in the story.  First person narrative has a character that’s apart of the story telling it from their perspective, with it being from the protagonist or someone observing actions of the protagonist. I will be comparing the narrative of ‘Young Goodman Brown’ and my retelling of the story named ‘Little Salem Village’.  Although ‘Young Goodman Brown’’s  third person limited narrator conveys Goodman Browns emotions throughout the story and a perplexing ending,  this retelling uses a first person narrator to highlight the antagonist’s intentions and how they went on to accomplish them.

In ‘Young Goodman Brown’ the story is told in third person limited with the protagonist being Goodman Brown. We follow Brown as he journeys through the woods for unknown reasons. He leaves behind his wife, Faith, even though she admitted she didn’t want him to go and confessed to having bad dreams lately. While walking in the woods, he meets a man and throughout the story, he observes his demon like actions.  The story concludes with Brown going through life in fear unable to trust anyone even his wife until his inevitable death, leaving the reader wondering if everything he experienced actually happened, or if it was a nightmare.

In my retelling, the story is told in first person with an autodiegetic narrator. The narrator is the old man that traveled with Goodman Brown through the woods. He is thinking to himself, recollecting the actions he had done to the villagers of Salem and plans of a ‘witch meeting’. He meets Faith and converses with her until he was able to possess her. The story ends where the original story kinda began, with the old man meeting Goodman Brown in the woods.

Third person limited and first person autodiegetic points of view both have access to the protagonist emotions they are going through. Since this was the case, I wanted to retell the story through someone else’s perspective, giving the reader access to both Goodman Brown in the original story and the old man’s head in my retelling. One instance where Hawthorne displays Brown’s emotion to a situation was when I was alone in the woods, thinking an evil omen was with him. This is also before he sees a figure in the distance that ended up being the old man: “”There may be a devilish Indian behind every tree,” said Goodman Brown to himself; and he glanced fearfully behind him, as he added, “What if the devil himself should be at my very elbow!”” In my retelling, I assumed the old man was following Brown before the final met face-to-face. When the old man observed Brown, he showed similar features as in the original story: “He feverishly looks behind him every couple steps, until I present myself as another lonely traveler.”

Hawthorne ends their story in a way that leaves the reader invested in the story after reading it by having them question whether Brown’s whole experience was a real or a dream.“Be it so, if you will. But, alas! it was a dream of evil omen for young Goodman Brown. A stern, a sad, a darkly meditative, a distrustful, if not a desperate man, did he become, from the night of that fearful dream. On the Sabbath-day, when the congregation were singing a holy psalm, he could not listen, because an anthem of sin rushed loudly upon his ear, and drowned all the blessed strain. When the minister spoke from the pulpit…and with his hand on the open Bible, of the sacred truths of our religion…then did Goodman Brown turn pale, dreading lest the roof should thunder down upon the gray blasphemer and his hearers. Awaking suddenly at midnight, he shrank from the bosom of Faith…when the family knelt down at prayer, he scowled…and gazed sternly at his wife, and turned away. And when he had lived long, and was borne to his grave…” I assumed since the narrator never disclosed to the reader why Brown was going in the woods, it’s even more difficult to think if it were real or fictional. I find this an advantages to third person limited because it leaves the ending to the mind of the audience, forcing them to analyze the story after reading it. If the original story were told in first person through Goodman’s perspective, I believe the mystery conclusion to the story wouldn’t be present. In my retelling, I tried to do the same thing and leave an open ending, but I found it difficult to do with a first person narrator. “If I somehow fail, I guarantee, his experience with me will stay with him for the rest of his life…” Here, I tried to allude if the old man was actually an evil figure or just a figment of Brown’s imagination that haunts him in his dreams.

In conclusion, these two points of views have their advantages and disadvantages. It all depends on what the author wants to show and how they want their message it be delivered to their audience.

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