In class today, we talked about what a thesis statement is and how we might draft one for Project #2-Part 4. Here is our list of what a thesis statement is:
- it’s the main point
- it’s in the introduction–usually the end of the introduction
- it’s usually 1-2 sentences
- it’s a statement, not a question
- if your draft of a thesis statement is a question, try writing the answer to the question as a new draft
- it’s an opinion, not a fact
- that means there’s a difference between the topic and the thesis statement
- it’s supportable by using examples
- for this project, each criterion would be a support for your thesis statement
- also, ideas from the articles each group shared could be incorporated as support for the thesis statement
- Each introduction and each essay answers three questions:
- what’s up?
- how come?
- so what?
- (borrowed from Hildegard Holler)
- In the introduction, the thesis statement is the “so what?”
- the essay overall uses the thesis statement to say “what’s up?” and concludes with the “so what?” that pushes the ideas of the thesis statement to the next level
- it’s a road map of the whole essay
- that means it should give a sense of what readers can expect to find in the essay and in what order
- it’s something you draft and work on in stages
- you might not write it first
- you can come back and refine it
- it should reflect the essay you complete
- you can change it if your work goes in a new direction
- BUT, make sure your essay overall and the thesis statement fit the assignment requirements
Here were two drafts that we might think about:
These monuments must not represent hate in any form, so we must consider removing any that no longer represent A, B, and C of the majority of our community members.
(These monuments must not represent hate in any form, so we must consider removing any that no longer represent beliefs, values, and ethics of the majority of our community members.)
Although these monuments were relevant when erected, we need to evaluate them based on our current sense of X, Y, and Z of our community members.
(Although these monuments were relevant when erected, we need to evaluate them based on our current sense of racial justice, inclusiveness, and positive contribution of our community members.)
Please add your thesis statement draft in a comment, and check back to offer critiques of your classmates’ thesis statement drafts.
Thesis Statement: “A monument should not be removed even if it offends a specific group of people. The government should move the statue to an area where the statue is relevant to the community’s history.
I can appreciate the idea here, but I’m not sure what your essay will look like because I can’t see you having any criteria to evaluate the monuments. It sounds like there is removal, but to another location. What are the criteria for deciding if the location is appropriate? Or which museum it will be moved to, and at whose expense? What if no location is appropriate, or if no one wants it?
Thesis statement: Looking though history, a monument in todays society is viewed in a controversial way then when it was first constructed.
This sounds more like your topic than your thesis statement. How can you take this very early draft and revise it to make it the road map to your argument? Could it help if you started your thesis statement with this as a premise: “Since some monuments have become controversial compared to when they were constructed, all monuments should be evaluated for A, B, and C to determine if they should remain in place”? This is just a template of a thesis statement–obviously you have to fill in the details and revise it to fit your argument and your essay. If anyone else wants to borrow it as a template, please do!
Thesis statement: No monument should be removed. Instead they should be updated and modernized to teach the youth accurate lessons about the history surrounding the monument.
I see you have a similar stance to your group-mate Tiffany. I wonder what criteria you would use to determine whether a monument needed updating and modernizing, who should do it and with whose version of history, and at whose expense. Be sure to have a set of criteria to use, or you won’t be able to fulfill the requirements of the assignment!
Monuments displayed in public places should be reviewed by a non baises criteria who’s objective is to maintain stability and safety in the community. If a monument fails to do so it must be taken down and moved to a local museum.
Are you suggesting there be a Monument Review Board? That’s interesting. Who would appoint members to this board, and how would they be screened to be sure they could make an unbiased decision? Are the people unbiased, the decision, or the criteria? I don’t know if there’s a difference, but that seems important to establish to make clear–criteria can’t evaluate, but people can use criteria to evaluate.
As you continue working on your project, try revising this thesis statement as you know more about your criteria. That way, you can bring some brief aspect of the set of criteria into your thesis statement.
You might also consider saving that second part of your thesis statement for your conclusion–it really depends on how central it is to your argument. If you see Tiffany’s comment above, it’s central to what she’s proposing. For yours, it seems to be an exception to the rules you’re establishing. If that’s the case, see how it works as the “so what?” of your essay, which would come in the conclusion as a response to your argument (the “what’s up?” and “how come?” you’ll have written about).
Monuments hold up massive amount of importance in today’s world, But it is more important to evaluate these monuments and keep up to date on what they are based on and the history behind them and also the foundation it laid for our current time.
Thesis : A monument shouldn’t have had a detrimental impact on the lives of many, their ideas carried out should have turned history for the greater good during that time period, so it could remain as a positive remembrance in the long run. Their location should have a connection to the life they had and the way they are portrayed should reflect their importance and significance.
Monuments are a symbol of a remarkable point in history and should be glorified due to the positive impacts they withheld. Monuments should remain an explicit way commemorating a specific person or event.
Monuments have been created and put up to show the importance of an event, a person, or group of people. They provide a foundation for the social upbringing of today’s society. They’re set in place for remembrance of what our society was like years prior. Sometimes they go unnoticed because there are many ways of defining a monument. The most popular forms are plaques or statues. Do the monuments of the past align with the expectations and standards of today? Do they give a good or bad connotation to the population or race(s) around it? Due to recent controversy in Charlottesville, North Carolina, Mayor De Blasio is being called out for a thorough examination of the monuments in the New York City area. He has plans to come up with a criteria for evaluating monuments based on a set of questions that the Mayor’s office could use to represent the progress of American history. Guidelines for the criteria could potentially include location, who/what the monument represents, what impact does it have, and why it is significant to today’s American society.