Stepping From The Past

 

Hello everyone, My name is Jade Ferguson I am currently a freshman attending New York City College of Technology. I was born in Queens, NY and raised in Jamaica for about three years, before I came back to New York. Both of my parents are from Jamaica including my older siblings as well. I enjoy singing and dancing, these are the ways I express myself on a deeper level. While going through things as a child it was a coping mechanism. While growing up, there was always that one thing that would push me and continues to do so. That was that I had a future for myself. I do not just see myself being successful but I see myself being happy with the decisions I’ve made leading up to my future. I have always pushed myself to the extreme, every time something comes in my way, I continue to raise the bar higher once I have conquered each obstacle. In the next five to ten years I see myself successfully working as a trauma surgeon in the emergency room of a hospital. I do not have a specific hospital because it doesn’t matter where I go, I will still see the same outcome. I see myself working as a trauma surgeon because it is similar to having the knowledge in each field such as neurology and cardiology. I have always had an attraction for working in a hospital and I enjoy the thought of being in the trauma unit, because I love the rush that it gives me knowing that people can fix what’s broken. College is hard but life without a degree is harder.

The image I chose to represent me was an image of someone walking and a shadow reflected in the ground behind them. This image was chosen because until now I feel as though I have been there for everyone else except for myself. This is because from the age of four, my mother was wrongfully convicted of a triple homicide and at that time my younger brother was three months, so I was given the responsibility of being the person who lead him in the right direction. At that age everything I did was in favor of, or because of him. This became stressful after a while because it was not just me being the big sister he looked up to but I had to teach him things. It started to feel as though I was carrying a weight on my shoulder and always having to look back to make sure that he was okay. This went on for seven years, and when she was released I thought things would change but instead they remained the same and in some cases became even worse. Now it was not only to teach him right from wrong but I was the only person in his life besides my aunt that he truly gravitated to. This was no longer a temporary situation it became my life from that point on. This image represents someone who is in the shadow but a person walking. Although I referred to myself as the shadow I want to move myself from that standpoint into the person who is walking and in control.

Many people would interpret each image differently based off of what catches their eyes first. In the image it is a gloomy day so some people might interpret that I was depressed or that I felt alone seeing as there is only one person in the image. The image is just an individual walking and you can only see their feet and the shadow. I do not think anyone could really misinterpret the meaning other than to say, I could be alone or that I would like to be kept to myself.

I am someone who is strong but reserved. I have been through what so many people have said, they would not be able to go through and still be able to have a smile on their face. Throughout my life, there were times I have felt alone and I have felt as if everyone was watching me and making sure that I did not “mess up” or lead as a bad example for my little brother. This matters to me because it’s an eye opener that you can lose yourself and not know until something new occurs. I expect this eye opener to change the way that I am and I can already see that happening by attending City Tech because I feel as though I am finally doing things to make me happy and not looking over for who is watching my every move and judging what I do. This will develop as I continue my career in City Tech because I can see myself growing as a person, as I continue to find myself everyday.

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