… and I, will always love you

Posted on April 18, 2018 by Student 169985

On 55th Street lies an artistic icon. Some take photos or selfies with it, others climb it, and dogs curiously sniff it, discovering all types of residual scents from the sculpture’s surrounding. Its massive body has graced New York City for over four decades and the phenomenon seemed to take over the world. If you have ever walked Sixth Avenue or are very familiar with the area, you probably already know what art piece I’m describing… the LOVE Sculpture.

I grew up with this signage of the word “love”; it was like an anonymous signature. I had no idea who created it or that it was even an expression of art. My young mind conveyed it as a simple font like the ones I saw on my computer screen, the one for the infamous TIME magazine, or the types that I saw off of billboards and labels. Little did I know just how poetic each letter is. How loved it was by popular reception. Or how misunderstood, despised, bastardized, plagiarized, and ultimately ambiguous it soon became. Natural selections took its course, to the point where its origin became unknown to the following generations. But the LOVE sculpture/painting/print was curated by a famously unfamous “pop” artist, Robert Indiana.

According to Mental Floss, Robert Indiana was born Robert Clark on September 13, 1928 in New Castle, Indiana. He was a child of the silent generation and witnessed the struggles of the Great Depression. His father lost his job and the family was much akin to gypsies, going from living in Indiana to a variety of other locations. The family moved over twenty times partly due to the recession and his mother’s inability to stay in the same place for too long. Clark once described his childhood as the family car being “… more stable than home itself”. The factors put a strain on the family and Clark’s parents divorced in the 1940’s. Clark lived with his father and was able attend high school. Clark then joined the U.S. Army Air Corp in cooperation with the GI Bill in order to pay for his education. He attended the School of the Art Institute of Chicago from 1949-1953 and then studied at the University of Edinburgh in Scotland from 1953-1954.

After college he moved to New York and took a job as a typist at a cathedral and also worked in an art supply store, vying to be discovered and to find his place in the artistic world. He was facing something that still haunts college graduates today… the post-grad slump….

To hear the rest of this amazing story, tune in next week to see the second part of the LOVE sculpture and Indiana’s second public installation, the HOPE sculpture.

Benefits of Nature pt.2

Posted on April 18, 2018 by Gennessy Palma

Buenos Tardes City Tech! Gen here giving y’all part two on Nature and its benefits! Today’s topic will be based on Stress. As we all know there are many factors that keep us healthy: good bacteria, cells, and most importantly our immune system. But there are many factors that can disturb the body’s natural methods of cleansing: such as stress. It’s nothing new, many people suffer the effects of stress but the issue is when it builds up over years: this is when it can become severely harmful to one’s health. In an article written by the American Society of Landscape Architects ( ASLA ) it is said that “ High levels of long-term chronic stress can lead to reduced cognitive function, anxiety disorders, and depression.” Chronic stress takes a toll on us, physically. It can lead to poor sleeping habits and headaches which decreases our immunity. So yes, stress is a bad factor that can disturb our bodies.

Stress has impacted my life in many ways, to the point where it’s caused me countless of sleepless nights leading to insomnia, it’s also a reason why I drink lots of tea.The antioxidants, as I mentioned in previous posts, have the potential to build immunity to our bodies and help us (or even prevent us) from getting sick. From my stress, I’ve learned that nature is a great natural remedy and can lower your anxiety levels, it’s worked for me. According to ASLA:

Numerous studies have shown that access to trees and green spaces calm us and help to alleviate stress. One such study found that trees and green space are a major predictor of longevity, especially among people living of lower-incomes communities.

More broadly, integrating nature into the built environment in the form of parks, trees, or green roofs, can help counter the stressors of urban life. This is supported by a Scandinavian study, which found that office workers with forest views showed greater job satisfaction and lower stress levels than office workers with non-forest views.

There have been many cases and studies proving that nature helps us and it’s no surprise either.Before technology… before secure infrastructures, we, human beings, had caves and the great outdoors; it’s what kept us alive and healthy. So why not try to connect back to your old roots and give it a try??? My recommendation? Look through my previous blogs and see which place suits you best! Lemme know what you think and what places you have in mind. From reading this I definitely know what I’m doing this week. Stay tuned to find out on next week’s blog!

How Do You Treat Yourself?

Posted on April 17, 2018 by Student 396229

I literally counted down until spring break arrived. I’ve actually had my Cancun getaway booked since February!!!

GIF Retrieved from GIPHY

That’s my thing: traveling.
I try to take a vacation and travel somewhere (not a “stay-cation”) at least three times a year. Sometimes my bank account is like “Girl bye, you tried it!”, lol.

GIF Retrieved from GIPHY

So yea, lol, three doesn’t always make the cut, but at least two vacations keeps me satisfied. That is how I treat myself. I work hard, I study hard, so I make sure that I play TWICE as hard.

Traveling is more like a “big” treat for me. I do other small (and way less expensive) things for myself too. I LOVE Thai rolled ice cream and I reward myself with it any day that the temperature outside is above 55 degrees, like last friday for example.

Photo taken by Yours Truly at ICE NY !

Also, I love getting facials! It just so happens that my health insurance covers facials at the same place where I get physical therapy, and I make sure to use my benefits!!
None shall go to waste, lol.

cat laying down with cucumber on eyes like a spa

Photo Retrieved from Pinterest

But that’s me. These are things that I personally like to do as part of my self care regimen. It’s not always easy to just pick up and make time for these things, so often we neglect self care. I’m sure you can relate that it can be really easy to lose sight of yourself in the midst of all the things you are doing on a daily basis. Whether that includes work, school, taking care of someone else (child, family member, partner, etc), an internship, personal obligations, socializing, or whatever else. Too often what happens is that it’s not until you get to the “breaking point” that you are then forced to stop and take some time to focus on you.

I just said to my mom the other day that sometimes I feel like I’m just living the same day over and over and over. Do you ever feel like that? You wake up and you go from one place to the next; school then work-or vice versa. Then when you actually get home, neither of these things are actually in your rear view because you’re doing homework, or thinking about your next work shift. Then the next day comes and you repeat the same cycle.

Even if you aren’t working a job, I’m sure you have things other than school that take up your time on a daily basis. So my question to you is how do you treat yourself? I mean that in literal terms like “do you treat yourself well?”, and also “treat yourself” as in reward yourself.

So the literal terms- that’s things like do you get enough sleep? Do you eat properly and regularly? There was a point where I would be “so busy” I would forget to eat the entire day and when I got home, I would have the absolute worst headache. I would moan and groan about how I think it’s because I didn’t eat. DUH it is! That’s like driving around all day ignoring the gas light in your car, and then complaining when you break down in the middle of nowhere.

man reacting to car gas tank being empty

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When was the last time you checked your “tank” and made sure you were all filled up and good to go? The last person we should be ignoring is ourselves.
Do you put aside enough time for yourself with no outside distractions?

Ask yourself this one question: Am I treating myself the best I could?
If the answer is yes, congratulations!
It’s not the easiest thing to do so I commend you 100% for putting you first. 🙂
If the answer is “no”, or you’re unsure, then today is the day to start to think about what you can do to treat yourself better.

As students, “I don’t have time” is a common excuse we have when it comes to self-care.

woman stating she is busy during red carpet interview

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I know I preach a lot about self care, but that’s because every day on campus I see too many of my peers looking worn out–probably from hours of staring at textbooks, working on papers, and trying to meet rapidly approaching deadlines. As our responsibilities pile up, it’s easy to allow our own health and sanity to take a backseat to feelings of restlessness. Sooner or later, the effects of excessive stress remind us that our personal well-being should never be overlooked, whether we ask for the reminder or not.

cat with hair sticking up looking stressed and angry

Photo Retrieved from Me.Me

Suggestions of ways to treat yourself/ care for yourself is different for everyone. Your friend’s self-care routine might include a 7 a.m. run or gym visit every morning, but for you, just thinking about doing anything at 7 a.m. might make you even more stressed out than you already are, lol. I get stressed every night when I remember I have an 8:30 class and I swear the whole semester goes by and I never get used to it! In that situation, maybe a short walk on afternoons or evenings would work better for you. The thing is self-care isn’t about what anybody else is doing; It’s about what your mind, body and spirit are telling you that they need.

I want you to take this Self Care Assessment that we in Human Services use with our clients. With it we are able to get a better idea of how well a client is treating themselves and the things that bring them pleasure or happiness. We also use it ourselves to assess our own state. The assessment states that it “provides an overview of effective strategies to maintain self-care.” As the directions on the assessment says: “after completing the full assessment, choose one item from each area that you will actively work to improve. This will at least give you an idea on where to begin and you can brainstorm idea on how you plan to improve your self care in that area.” Taking this test is a big step to changing or improving how you treat yourself because awareness is always step one. I’m excited for you!

We have to take care of ourselves along with taking care of our responsibilities. Self-care is not always the easiest thing to implement and be consistent with, especially while striving for success during your academic undergrad journey. I’m definitely still learning to nurture, and take care of myself while gaining a satisfactory level of student-work-life balance. It’s difficult at times, especially during midterms, and finals, and hectic times at work-but I know how important it is.

Like the well known quote says “If you don’t love yourself, who will?”; It’s the little pleasures that get us through our everyday grind. Lunch from our favorite place, sweets and treats to seal a long day, getting your eyebrows done, or kicking back and watching the game. Don’t wait for your next day off, or your next planned vacation. Remind yourself that you deserve to live a satisfying life and enjoy yourself on a regular basis by doing little things that make you happy. What things from the assessment did you score lower on and would like to improve? What are you doing really well? Tell me about it below.

Love ya, Neffi

Photo Retrieved from HerCampus

What Do You Mean?

Posted on April 17, 2018 by Robine J

By Robine Jean-Pierre

“Composition VII” by Wassily Kandinsky. 1913. Oil on canvas. 78.7 × 118.1″ (200.0 × 300.0 cm). Moscow, Russia. The State Tretyakov Gallery.

You see an abstract painting on the wall in a museum. The seemingly random assortment of swirls, shapes and colors leaves you puzzled and intrigued. One onlooker says it reminds her of a sinking ship. Another comes along and says it must be a garden. A small inscription on the wall indicates that the painter wanted to illustrate a busy city street. Who is right?

I like to think that every form of communication consists of at least two aspects: intention (what the speaker wants to convey) and reception (how the listener interprets it). I use speaker and listener as general terms, but the pair could also be artist and viewer, author and reader, etc. In an ideal world, intention and reception would always be equal; the speaker would give a message, and the listener would understand exactly what the speaker meant. However, very rarely does it work this way in the real world. Too often, the speaker says one thing but the listener takes it to mean something completely different. It is like a constant tug of war between the two aspects; sometimes intention holds more weight, and other times reception is more significant.

Intention Matters

I believe there are times when what the speaker has to say is way more important than anyone’s interpretation. For example, art can very subjective because of its connection to the emotions, and its ability to disguise meaning in symbols and metaphors. However, art can also be very concrete. A sculpture of a fruit basket can simply be a representation of a fruit basket. An engraving of a monarch created during his reign can have very specific references, styles, or symbols pertaining to that particular time period, nation, etc. Many of these references would be meaningless without the proper context.

For another example, take one of William Shakespeare’s works. Many of the words he used have very different meanings today; the “nothing” in his comedy titled Much Ado About Nothing was, among several meanings, slang for “lady parts” (see “Double Entendre & Innuendo in Much Ado About Nothing” on Study.com for more). What use would it be for today’s readers to read his works and give them blind modern interpretations? Without context, we would never get at what he was really saying and we would miss out on the genius behind much of his work.

Reception Matters

On the flip side, there are also times when the way a message is taken by the receiver can take precedence over what the sender meant. This is the case especially when it comes to social interactions. Our ideas of what is proper, preferred, or offensive are heavily dictated by our culture and personal experiences. Since this varies from person to person, it can be very easy for misinterpretations to arise.

Let’s say Jack often tells Jill, “You’re one of the nicest people I’ve ever met,” and Jill takes it to mean, “I have feelings for you.” Jill might get excited at the thought of Jack wanting to be romantically involved; or, she might get offended that Jack appears to be hitting on her when she’s already in a committed relationship. Jack’s intentions may have simply been to be kind to Jill, but he did not consider that, for Jill, receiving frequent compliments from a guy must mean he’s interested in her.

In situations like these, “good intentions” are not necessarily enough. The listener has the right to present her interpretation to the speaker, even if she was totally off the mark. The speaker could then reevaluate what he said and consider taking some responsibility, even if he “didn’t mean it like that,” in order to restore peace or clear the air. Sure, there are people out there who are hypersensitive and get offended too easily, no matter how careful you are in expressing yourself. Nonetheless, it’s usually safer to address people with an attitude that says “if one of us was wrong, it was probably me; how can I fix this?”

I believe that the key to making sure intention and reception agree with one another is to get feedback. Switch up listener and speaker roles often; if they are constant, then you may have to ask yourself, “Is this a dialogue or a monologue? Are we having a conversation, or a lecture?” After someone has said something to you, there is nothing wrong with replying, “So what you’re basically saying is…?” and reiterating what you believe the message was. Another option is to ask your listener, “So what do you think of what I just said? Does it make sense? How do you feel about it?” Think of all the arguments, misunderstandings, and mistakes that could be prevented if we just took the extra time to get and give feedback.

Have you ever said something that someone took the wrong way, or vice versa? How was the misunderstanding resolved? What are some ways you practice giving or getting feedback?

Life After Undergrad: Knock on every closed door

Posted on April 16, 2018 by Student 815932

When you leave college and shed your student security blanket it can be hard to find other opportunities that give you the same challenge that college used to. For me college was something I became good at– and very proud of. When I came back to school after a hiatus I put my all into being a good student, staying organized and having a good GPA. When undergrad came to a close I kind of mourned my student status because I had put so much effort into making it great. I realized though that I could put the same amount of effort and time into my professional status to build that up just as high.

A professional network is much wider and much more vast than my student one. Recently, my regional boss came to visit my office and to my surprise it went well. In fact it went better than I could have imagined, after my days long panic over the visit. I was so focused on making sure I didn’t screw up that I didn’t stop and think that I should be marketing myself. Not market in a cheesy way but instead showcase my abilities and competence in my job role. After going over the Ps and Qs of my job we actually had a conversation and I shared some of my marketing and social media ideas with him– and he liked it! I was even given permission to start a hashtag campaign for my office, I was stoked!

My point here is not to leave any stone unturned– go out there and make it happen. When you’re confident other people take notice and they gravitate to you. After that office visit the regional manager told my boss that he was impressed with me– something that I’d never imagined could happen. Sometimes I think I sell myself short and forget that I’m no longer a 22-year-old with little experience. I’m considered an industry professional with nearly a decade of experience– and I need to be darn proud of it!

Bless Me?

Posted on April 12, 2018 by Denise Claire (Pebbles)

In Asia, when one sneezes, there is no such thing as “Bless you.”

When you sneeze, you’re either reprimanded for not covering your mouth or just left to be as you were. So, imagine my surprise as a six- or seven-year-old, freshly minted into the American school system and sneezing. What a wild experience. I sneezed a hefty sneeze and the teacher said: “Bless you.”

Me? Bless me?

As a young Catholic sapling, I naturally began questioning the merits of my humanity that required a blessing. To my knowledge at the time, I was to ask for blessings from my elders whenever I encountered them and receive it via the touch of the back if their hand to my forehead. Or we usually blessed new houses or new cars or new babies. I knew that Americans weren’t familiar with this tradition of giving blessings to the young and I couldn’t see a new house or a new car or a new baby around. So why was this lady blessing me?

Did Americans simply throw blessings around willy nilly for any occasion?

I didn’t want to ask, so I let it be, opting to investigate the situation in silence. Weeks went by and I couldn’t seem to decipher the “Bless you.” The teacher would say it once in a while and sometimes students too… But why? WHY?

Finally, I broke. During recess, I turned to a girl in my class who seemed friendly enough and asked, “Why does everyone keep saying ‘bless you?’”

She looked at me strangely and in a tone that was equivalent to that of a man-splainer, replied, “Because that’s what you say when someone sneezes..?”

It took me a moment to process.

“Bu.. But, why?”

Baffled by my questioning of modern American tradition, the little girl gave me a sigh, shrugged and left, leaving me feel more confused. Why would the excretion of bacteria require a blessing? Did Americans revere sneezes as ungodly or in need of holy intervention and thus requiring a “Bless you?”

I decided not to question further. But now, equipped with the knowledge of the “bless you,” I found myself hyper aware of every single sneeze in my vicinity. My scientific mind began keeping tabs on the “bless you” to sneeze ratio: The popular outgoing kids and the teacher got all the “bless you’s,” but the lowly and moderate class of students went by the wayside with little to no “bless you’s.” Suddenly, my eyes were opened to my social standing.

My “bless you” to sneeze ratio was low. Little to none per sneeze!

I began observing my social interactions and found that I was still a stranger, the New Kid. I needed to step my game up. I had to increase interactions by 500% to raise my “bless you” to sneeze ratio. Painfully, I began asking my fellow students to borrow pencils or asking what 3+7 equaled. Despite my self-imposed rule of no non-lunchtime bathroom breaks, I raised my hands and asked to go to the bathroom at least once a week.

My “bless you” to sneeze ratio climbed. I was on the map! I was no longer a stranger, I was Denise, the kid from the Philippines. Not super cool, but alright. I was sustainably blessed for every sneeze.

Now, it was time to give back. I would be the “bless you” queen.

Everyone deserves a “bless you.”

A Sandwich Fit For a…

Posted on April 12, 2018 by Student 893041

Image by: Karsten Gieselmann

Spring break is a beautiful time of year, a time when I am somehow able to reconnect with those closest to me by way of necessary breaks from work and school. It is an amazing experience as you can begin to see the buds on the trees and know that blooming season is near. But as they say, April showers bring May flowers, this spring break in particular housed the worst weather as it involved rainy days, a snowstorm, and random bouts of sunny weather. It was an ever-changing forecast but it was still much appreciated to enjoy time spent with the family.

Still, I cannot wait for the vibrantly and colorful flowers to bloom as it is a beautiful sight to capture each year. I’ll admit though that spending time with my family can be a tad bit emotionally taxing as we all have varying personalities that can sometimes clash resulting in a disastrous outing. I was most excited to try some new food ventures and be able to have those momentous memories shared with my loved ones. I love food which isn’t that surprising as I post about something food related every single week in my blog posts but still, I have seen more foodies interested in capturing the most delicious food by way of photographs instead of actually enjoying the eating portion of the experience. However, that is my favorite part. As of late, I have been under a lot of stress and just as you hear of those who emotionally eat or stress eating, I do the exact opposite…I suppose that you call it emotional starving. After a quick google search, I have found that I am the victim of emotional under-eating…hmm, I didn’t know that it had an actual name. Anyway, I have found myself literally eating one meal a day, I know what you’re thinking…that it’s unhealthy and I need to find a better way to handle my stress than skipping meals. But I have been challenging myself to enjoy each meal that I consume to slowly find my way back to my love for food and not just simply for the benefits of eating.

I have no idea as to why I just divulged the innermost occurrences that I struggle with on the day-to-day basis but I wanted to share the details of the most recent restaurant outing that I had which was absolutely and deliciously amazing. Everyone had their own plans and outings besides my mom and I, so we decided to have an excursion of our own. We loaded ourselves into the family van and somehow ended up in Howard Beach. We visited this hidden gem called Sapienza Delicatessen & Restaurant. It is a nice restaurant to just enjoy a quick meal as they have an open concept seating arrangement. We really wanted to try their famous pastrami sandwich as they use the same meats that Katz’s Deli does for a lower price which was unbeknownst to us at that time. The sandwich came with a pickle on the side and the deli also sells an array of beverages, chips, and other snacks to pair with your sandwiches. The sandwich itself was succulent and the meat was extremely moist to the point that it almost melted in your mouth. It was an experience that I had never had before when eating a sandwich but one I will never forget. I hope that you get the chance to try one of these sandwiches at least once in your life, you won’t regret it and I’d definitely recommend the pastrami sandwich.

Image by: Brianna Vasquez

The Nurture within Nature

Posted on April 11, 2018 by Gennessy Palma

Springs here and along with it? The beauty and scenery of colors and wildlife! Gen here bringing you the best guidelines to health and wellness, the next few weeks I’ll be focusing on nature and how it affects us positively, and can bring benefits to us all, the resource I’ll be using quite frequently will be from the American Society of Landscape Architects. Nature is known to be a form of de stressing and a way to let loose from the city life, today I want to bring light on how nature can affect depression.

For those who don’t know, depression is a mental illness that consumes the life of its host, many people have this mental illness, it’s hard to get through and people now and days do not understand the severity of it and how bad it is, I want to remind you all to be mindful towards others and to be caring, if you don’t have depression but know someone who does then I urge you to help them, don’t judge them, you haven’t been in their shoes so please don’t go telling others how they feel and that “ it’s a phase, it’ll pass.” From personal experience, I’ve met and known people with depression, and fortunately was able to help,within my previous experience I’ve learned that it takes is a helping hand and listening ears to help someone, and it takes nature to take a full blow at it. Based on the National Center for Health Statistics, there has been a massive spike or increase in the amount of teens and young adults who have been prescribed antidepressants being 400%. It is said that this illness alone “ affects 14.8 million Americans or 6.7 percent of the U.S. population and is the leading cause disability in the U.S. for ages 15 to 44. ” So then what can we do about this? Again, nature people nature is a great place to start!

Before cities before anything, as humans all we had was the great outdoors so it’s no surprise that this is beneficial to us all and to those suffering with depression. Many of you are probably asking “ how? “ well here’s the really brief summary of it. In a research conducted by the dutch they found that “ living close to parks, or at least near lots of trees, can have far reaching mental health benefits for people. In turn, living in places without parks or trees, especially if you are young or poor, can have major negative impacts.” This study can be found In the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health and more proof can be found in the provided link on the American Society of Landscape Architects, if you know someone who’s suffering from this illness, remind them that their not alone and there is help everywhere in anywhere, with the information provided we can all make a difference in the lives of others, knowledge is power, use it wisely and share it with the world, if you have any questions on this topic feel free to comment in the comment box below, thanks as always for tuning in!

P.S: Please keep in mind that this does not replace your doctor’s reccomendations or advice, if you feel that you are in need of help, please consult a licensed personnel such as a doctor or a psychologist

Help Me Howard…or Anybody Actually…

Posted on April 10, 2018 by Student 396229

Photo Retrieved from SalaGraphics

I’ve realized that it’s really hard for me to ask for help.

I sat back and I thought about why asking for help is this huge challenge for me.
I figured out the reasons why are:
-I fear being vulnerable to someone else or being rejected.
-I fear placing my responsibilities onto someone else and they drop the ball.
-I don’t want anyone to feel burdened by me.
-I fear appearing weak or needy.
-I fear not being in control of all aspects of my life.
-I’m pretty prideful and I believe I have to be resilient, self-reliant, and independent, and I fear appearing any less than that.
-I also fear…..

Photo Retrieved from NASGA

Fear, Fear, Fear, that’s all it is!

All I’m doing is letting my fear stifle me from looking outside myself and utilizing my support network! This is probably the most backwards logic because although I don’t like to ask for help, I love to help others when asked. In fact, it makes me extremely happy to be asked, and I’m quick to go above and beyond. I will drop all of my own responsibilities, despite the consequences, to help someone else. I’m literally getting a Human Services degree to professionally help people lol.
How is it that am I so quick to offer help, yet I still don’t appreciate the value in asking for support enough to ask for it when I need it myself?

Photo Retrieved from LadyLebz

confused woman shaking head to express "not getting it"

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Makes no sense at all but it’s real.

Photo Retrieved from iEmoji

We all respond to times of trouble and struggle in different ways. Are you stubborn like me and don’t ask for help when you need it?? Do you too struggle in silence too? Why??

When did asking for help become a negative thing? When did asking for help take away your independance?

It could be because we’ve watched our parents, or other role models “get it done” on their own. Or maybe we’ve been conditioned to believe asking for help is a sign of weakness or incompetence. Or maybe we simply just don’t know how to ask for help. In a society that largely promotes self help, the idea that some of us need to learn ways to seek and ask for assistance from others isn’t really promoted. Maybe you’ve been vulnerable and asked for help before and the experience left you feeling humiliated, or some other response that caused you to feel like you would never put yourself in that position again. There are countless solid reasons why asking for help may be a challenge for you. If you sit and reflect on it I’m sure you will come up with a list like mine that points to a common theme like fear, lack of confidence, lack of trust, or whatever your vice is that’s getting in your way.

I believe that the hesitation to ask for help is because we have the wrong perspective about it. Me for example, I love to help because of how it makes me feel. It gives me positive feelings; I feel needed, satisfied, valued, significant, and appreciated. I feel like I am doing good and making a mark in someone’s life. Do I see the person that’s asking me for help as weak? No, of course not. I see them simply as a person asking for support in a situation. Yet I will think all the negatives of myself if I need to ask for help? Double standard much??

Photo Retrieved from AminoApps

If you are like me, then WE are looking at this all wrong. We get in our own way when we make asking for help mean something about us that isn’t true. We get caught up in thinking it means we’re weak, inadequate, helpless, inferior, or some other negative label. The reality is that asking for help does not indicate anything about you; it plain and simply means you need help in a specific situation, or at a specific time. That is all.

Asking for help is actually a sign of strength and courage because THAT is what you display when you seek out help when you need it, not weakness. Don’t ignore the fact that help is a two way street with benefits for you and the other person. Instead of incorrectly thinking that asking for help means you’re a burden, know that you are actually giving others an opportunity to feel good about themselves like you do when you help others. It’s a win-win baby!

The helper gains confidence knowing they are a good person and they enjoy the good feelings that come from that. Studies call it the “helper’s high”– the portion of the brain responsible for feelings of reward, is triggered when someone helps someone else. The brain also releases “feel-good” endorphins and chemicals and makes you want to do more. So look at you, asking for help, and making the world a happier place!

man pointing at someone in acknowledgement

GIF Retrieved from Tenor

Whoever helped you ends up feeling great, you get the help you need, and you get the affirming reassurance that there are people out there that you can call on when you need them, and they will be there for you and have your back.

two stick figures holding the other's "back" in their hand

Photo Retrieved from Amazon

It’s OK not to know everything. It’s OK not to be able to do everything on your own. It’s OK to need someone else. There is no shame in letting someone extend a helping hand to you. We all have something to share whether it be knowledge, time, talents, connections, insight, experience, skills, resources, or simple love and care; and the reality is most people love to share them. We can do so much more together, in partnership, than we can do alone. Think of the quote “Two hands are better than one.” It’s true. Too often we choose to ‘tough it out’ rather than reaching out to ask for help when we need it most.

Photo Retrieved from FizzyPeaches

I don’t expect you to read this post and just jump and start asking for help every time you need it, but I’m saying challenge yourself to do it more. I challenged myself recently, and I’m so happy that I did. I had been feeling really emotionally drained and almost like a machine constantly running from my internship, to school, to work, meetings, and all the other things I have on my plate. Then after all that, I get to unwind with a nice plate of homework, how exciting, lol.

woman smiles then quickly switches to straight face

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So anyway, I was feeling drained and it’s not that I needed anyone’s help to physically do something, but I did need help changing my mood and I needed to feel supported. I sent a text to a few of my friends that simply said “ Hola! Just asking you to keep me in your prayers and send love and light my way. I’ve been struggling a little lately and just want to ask you to make sure you keep me in your thoughts!” I felt extremely vulnerable and it was uncomfortable. Not the strong, invincible Neffi! Yes, the strong, invincible Neffi, and you know what? The love I felt from them in their responses let me know why I should never feel fear of reaching out to people who love and are there for me when I need to. Why the heck am I letting this fear disable me? Not any more.

woman turning finger left to right to express "no"

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I want to share these two articles with you, 5 Mistaken Beliefs About Asking for Help, and 2 Words That Make Asking for Help a Lot Easier and I encourage you to read them. See that you are not alone in this struggle and you can change your perspective for your own benefit. Asking for help can be scary and hard but by having the courage to ask for help, you’re not dragging yourself or anyone else down, you’re pulling you, and them up. No more struggling in silence, no more feeling you are not worthy of someone else’s favor, because you are. Replace those negative thoughts with thoughts of empowerment. Everyone that you know needs help at some point so don’t criticize yourself. Ask for it once and you’ll be better at asking the second time, trust me. 🙂

“Ask for help not because you are weak, but because you want to remain strong”
– Les Brown

Love you,

Neffi

Unity in Diversity

Posted on April 9, 2018 by Robine J

By Robine Jean-Pierre

During spring break, I went on a three day “unity retreat” in Pennsylvania through an organization called Seekers Christian Fellowships. I am currently the president of the Seekers club here at City Tech, so I definitely made it a priority to be there and represent. It was an amazing experience and I wish I could have spent the whole week there!

One of the purposes of this event was to assemble high school and college students from various Seekers-affiliated schools so they could make new friends and explore their faith together. We would be unified through relationships that transcended differences in age, gender, background, and career path.

The strong cultural diversity apparent on the retreat was quite remarkable. We had students and staff with ethnic backgrounds representing India, Sri Lanka, Korea, Jamaica, Haiti, Colombia, Puerto Rico, the Dominican Republic, Guatemala, Uganda, and more.

At any given moment, one of us was cracking a racially/culturally fueled joke that was borderline inappropriate (if not for the fact that people mostly joked about their own respective cultures, not really anyone else’s). From memory, here are a few examples of the intriguing, humorous statements I heard:
“It would be disappointing if we met Hispanic people who weren’t loud.”
“Indians are even louder! Have you ever been to an Indian party?”
“Look. I’m Hispanic and I’m crazy, so…”
“I’m Korean. Waking up early is easy for me.”
“He’s not even real Indian–he’s Sri Lankan.”

A Seekers friend of ours had even remarked once that our Korean and Ugandan staff members reminded him of Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker, respectively; when I told one of them this joke during the retreat, he was deeply amused.

Sometimes the boundaries were almost crossed when people of different ethnic backgrounds tried to mimic each other’s accents, but if the person did a good job, it was praised; if not, you could feel the awkwardness which quickly dissipated in laughter.

More serious, personal comments also provoked cultural awareness in some way. For example, our Korean staff member told us about how his dad was so strict that if he came home with a 98 on an assignment, he would be very disappointed and ask, “Where are the other two points?” He also mentioned the fact that he was the first Asian person his acquaintance from the Midwest had ever met in the flesh (as opposed to on TV). Our Colombian director explained that a lot of people thought she was white when she wasn’t, yet she had siblings whose complexions were every color of the rainbow. One college student opened up about how Indian parents tended to be loving but also fiercely overprotective.

Although not every ethnicity was represented on the retreat, I was grateful to be exposed to so many different cultures and learn more through both lighthearted and serious conversation. Being able to understand and relate to other cultures can be so helpful in promoting peace and unity, starting with the interactions of just two people. As Seekers members, this is especially crucial to our common Christian belief that God loves everyone (not just specific people groups) and wants us to do the same.

The Buzz Archive

writing City Tech, one blog at a time

Monthly Archives: April 2018

… and I, will always love you

Benefits of Nature pt.2

How Do You Treat Yourself?

What Do You Mean?

Life After Undergrad: Knock on every closed door

Bless Me?

A Sandwich Fit For a…

The Nurture within Nature

Help Me Howard…or Anybody Actually…

Unity in Diversity

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