Monthly Archives: October 2017

Life After Instagram

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Social networks in my opinion are now one of the most popular, and useful networking tools in 2016. However like everything in life, social networks come with negative and positive qualities. As a third year college student, I have participated in internet socializing for almost 10 years. 10 years is a lot of time wasted, keeping up with other people’s lives, new fashions trends, and other things that aren’t necessarily beneficial to my life. So, towards the end of my second year of college I decided that I needed to make a drastic change in my life. I realized that the amount of time, and effort that I was putting into social networks was detrimental to my well–being for various reasons. I decided to give up all my social networks once and for all, with hopes of truly embracing the beautiful aspects of life. I realized that once I deactivated all of my accounts there was NO TURNING BACK!! I pulled myself together, mustered up some courage, and hit the deactivate button on every single social network account that I had ever started. Believe it or not, after I deleted all of my accounts I felt free and I was ready to start my new life, my real life without social networks.

After deleting all of my social networks, I waited a few days before telling any of my “friends” or family. I wanted to see who would notice that I had actually removed myself from the limelight permanently. I thought that everyone would immediately realize my absence, and ask me why I decided to stop sharing my life with the world. In all actuality, no one really realized I was gone until days, weeks, and almost months later. I was surprised to see how my communication with my “friends” decreased after I no longer had a social network. I realized that a lot of my conversations were based on new trends, and topics that were addressed only on social networks. Without new memes or drama to reference back to, I noticed that my communication with other people had decreased. I began to realize how large of a role social networks played in my peers lives. By deleting all of my social networks, I became an outsider, confined to experiencing life for what it really was, REAL!

During the years of my life that I was heavily influenced by social networks, there were so many aspects of life that I missed out on. My life was passing me by, and I was so concerned with other people, and how they were living their lives. At times I found myself comparing my success to other people’s lives that I saw online. I became so hooked, that I would wake up in the morning, and immediately check my phone! One day I decided to log out of my account for a day, just to see how different life would be. At first, I was a little antsy because I wanted to constantly check what was going on with my friends. As the day progressed I relaxed, and I realized that my mind was actually at peace. I wasn’t worried about who unfriended me, or certain people’s motives for following me. I wasn’t arguing with people who left nasty comments under my pictures. I also wasn’t engaging in conversations with people, who I may not have ever met in real life. It was at that moment, I knew that social networks had to be removed from my life for good!!!

In the beginning it was difficult to learn how to maneuver without constantly checking my phone for likes, compliments, cute emojis, etc. As time progressed, I learned a lot more about myself, and the world that I lived in when my head wasn’t constantly buried in my phone. I didn’t feel required to find the correct lighting, to take the perfect selfie, or to get an obscene amount of likes from people who didn’t really matter to me anyway. I wasn’t constantly stopping throughout my outings to take pictures in cool areas, just to post them online for other people’s enjoyment. After deleting my social networks, I could actually go to a restaurant and enjoy food without having to get the perfect snapshot. The person in front of me was actually able to have my undivided attention, without me rudely glancing down at my phone. I was re-experiencing the world, this time with a brand new outlook.

After deleting my social networks, I came to the conclusion that I had been revealing my life to outsiders. I was unknowingly putting myself at risk or worse, in DANGER! These people who were my internet friends could be stalkers, murderers, abusers,who knows?!. I allowed random people to befriend me, under the false pretense that they just wanted to like my pictures. Little did I know that I would encounter some extremely irrational people. I understand that using the internet is addicting because it fills a void within people’s lives. Some people want attention, some people want to be in other people’s business, some people want to network, and some people are searching for love. However, social networks can be very dangerous, and once you post something on the internet, it’s out into the world forever, it only takes one screenshot. I can honestly say from experience that in life, the less you expose about yourself, the better your life will become.
October 29, 2017 makes 2 years and 9 months since I’ve deleted all of my social networks. I have noticed drastic changes in various areas of my life. My grades in school have improved because I can devote more of my time to my studies. I’ve also been able to spend quality time with my loved ones, and actually enjoy the moments we share together. After I deleted my Instagram, so many more opportunities blossomed for me. I also was blessed to find a beautiful person to experience my internet free life with. Without social networks in my life, I learned how to appreciate how amazing life could actually be. Personally I feel that removing myself from social networks was one of the best decisions I ever made. I am now able to embrace reality, as well as the essential parts of life. I challenge all of the people that read this blog to take a break from social media, and focus on your real life. Then after a few days come back to my blog post and let me know how differently you see the world after taking a break from social media.

Self Discovery Series Part 2: Perceptions

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Woman allowing other woman to see her through her eyes

photo credit: Jezebel.com

Last week in Self Discovery Series Part 1: Who Are You?, we talked about uncovering your true self and defining who you are on your own terms.
I hope you did the homework!
This week I want to get into perceptions and how to handle the discrepancy between external perception: how others see and would describe us,
and
self-awareness: how we see and describe ourselves.

How many times at one point or another has someone perceived you totally differently than you believe yourself to be. You may have heard something like:
“I thought you were mean when I first met you.”
“I thought you were quiet”
“You seemed like…”
And you just wonder where they get these ideas from? lol

How people see someone vs how they really are (facial expressions)

photo credit: buzzfeed.com

Or the other way around: you met someone and created an image of them that totally differed from the person you grew to know. The biggest factor in someone’s perception starts with a first impression. The discrepancy this causes is that our image only partially reflects our personality.

I’m sure you’ve already been told time and time again how important first impressions are and how hard they are to reverse, and that’s true. People’s perception of you is initially their reaction of the “surface”or “top layer” of you, based mostly on your external appearance.

a self discovery pyramid

artist: Revalatori; https://www.instagram.com/revelatori/

You end up being pre-judged solely on your facial expressions, demeanor, your clothing, those sorts of visual factors, and not the real you. A person can create an entire judgement and story for someone else without speaking a word to them. You look at someone who appears angry and think they had a bad day and that they are NOT the person in the room you’ll ever approach. Then you talk to them and they say they’re not angry at all, that’s “just their face” lol and they’re actually having a great day.

All of our interactions are opportunities for us to see more deeply into who we are, who we are showing to people, and how we can begin to refine ourselves and make sure we are narrating our own stories. We should view every encounter and interaction as a mirror through which we can discover something important or new about ourselves.
We can then use what we find as valuable information in the process of arriving at a deeper self-understanding and self awareness.

So the questions of focus are:

How do people see you?
and
Does it match who you feel you really are?

Now, does it really matter what others think of you?? Some would say nope, just do your thing doesn’t matter what people think. When you’re talking about perceptions and what “people think of you”, you tend to meet resistance because most people feel strongly about not living for the world where everyone is too judgy anyway, and they shouldn’t care what anyone thinks. I know I’ve ran the “you think I care what they think of me?” line too many times before LOL.

Which is right…but to an extent. There is nothing wrong with having the confidence and free spirit to ‘do your own thing’ and live without the pressure of caring what everyone thinks of you; but it’s dangerous to disregard other people’s perceptions of you.
Imagine believing that you come across as a confident person. You speak clearly, you “don’t beat around the bush”, and you have no problem sharing your thoughts right However, people actually see you, not as confident, but as cocky, arrogant, inconsiderate, conceited, insensitive, or “feeling yourself”.
What are the consequences likely to be? How many relationships can be broken..or never formed? How many opportunities could pass you by? How many people would you be rubbing the wrong way?

Getting to the bottom of how people perceive you is one of the essential elements of understanding how you come across to them. Does how you represent yourself daily match who you say you are/ who you want to be? Once you know this, you can start to think about adapting your behavior so that their perception of you is what you want it to be, not what they have assumed or decided for themselves.
Put yourself in a position to control their perception of you.
This is YOUR show, direct it.

Let’s say you had a candy company and the candy was A-Ma-Zing but the wrapper was so unappealing and un-engaging that no one ever really brought it. Customers looked at that wrapper and assumed the taste of the candy was just an unappealing as that wrapper. First thing you would think is “ change the wrapper” so customers wouldn’t have the incorrect assumption and end up knowing it for the amazing candy it is. Make sense?

I challenge you to think seriously about how others view you.
This week’s homework is: Ask a diverse group, a few friends and family members, to tell you what they think of you? What did they think of you when they first met you?
Also reflect on some of the misconceptions and pre judgements people may have had of you, and you of others. If you are not happy with some of the conclusions you come to, then you know what to work on. This is not for you to feel ‘judged’ or misunderstood, because that can happen. They have some nerve to see you differently from the way you see yourself, how dare them? Lol.
Seriously, appreciate the honesty as it comes your way.
A life with all YES men has NO growth.

The thing is, if you’re willing to be honest with yourself you will quickly realize that you may have some things to work on.  If all their perceptions seem so far fetched, what has led them to these conclusions? Self- reflect on THAT. What changes can you make to reverse the perception and set a new tone?
That is how you continue to make progress on your journey to self discovery.

Until we meet again next week for part 3!

“How you are isn’t always as important as how you are perceived. Perception is the gatekeeper between your essence and your image. And your image is the only thing others truly see. Changing yourself is at best half the battle. Changing how you are will give you peace, but changing how you are perceived will give you power.”
– John Bastien

 

 

Their Words Still Speak to Me: Revisiting Teen Pop from My Childhood

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by Robine Jean-Pierre

Last night after a long day at school, as I slipped under the covers and into bed, I did something that was long overdue: I looked up a Hannah Montana song on YouTube. I started with “This Is the Life” and next thing you know, I was a dozen songs deep and brimming with romance, joy, teen spirit, excitement, and needless to say, overwhelming nostalgia. I knew that once I had started it would be hard to stop; even though it was approaching 2 a.m. I just kept checking what was in the “Up Next” list under each video and picking the one I wanted to hear most, jumping from stone to stone like a child in a stream.

I love the musical composition of lots of Disney teen artists’ songs, like those of Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, the Jonas Brothers and Selena Gomez. Sure, teen pop is not the most diverse genre out there; the songs do tend to fall into a predictable pattern. But something about these songs was so familiar, so cozy; the lyrics spoke to my heart and even the instrumentation seemed so rich that I couldn’t resist soaking in it all.

Recording one of my own songs (Perfect Love) in a friend’s home-based studio last week made me realize just how much goes into even the simplest modern song. We had started with a preliminary acoustic version–just one layer of guitar, my lead vocals and my own backup vocals harmonizing–but I realized that if I wanted to take it to the next step in a future recording session, I would have to be thorough and specific about what I wanted. When you really listen to a typical song today there is so much going on, so many layers and nuances and effects.

Getting back to my Disney favorites, the beautiful thing about these songs was not just the instrumentation and composition, but of course, the lyrics. So many of today’s songs are too simplified–not that many words, or not much meaning or neither, just vain repetition. That’s why I hold dear to my heart the songs that have a pure, positive, universal message and are not just about sex, drugs and money. Many of these Disney songs talked about innocent romance punctuated by either fear, excitement or both (see Hannah Montana’s “He Could Be the One,” and Demi Lovato’s “Catch Me”); about having standards upon entering a relationship (see Vanessa Hudgens’ “Say OK”); about the love of a father and daughter through the years (Billy Ray Cyrus and Miley Cyrus had a few, such as “I Learned from You”); about friendship and love as a whole, not just romantic love (Hannah Montana’s “You and Me Together” and “Bigger Than Us”). These topics are not necessarily simple, but nearly anyone could relate and benefit from listening.

Some songs that really spoke to me that night were Hannah Montana’s “Make Some Noise” and Demi Lovato’s “La La Land.” “Make Some Noise” has the kind of message you don’t hear enough in mainstream music:

“Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not strong enough
Don’t give up, there’s nothing wrong with just being yourself,
that’s more than enough
So come on and raise your voice
Speak your mind and make some noise…”  

Sometimes we need this reminder, teenagers and grownups alike. Hannah Montana’s music was geared toward predominantly young preteen and teenage girls, I presume, and they are often in need of all the support they can get; they receive a lot of pressure from mainstream media to be something they’re not, and to keep quiet if their opinion is not popular. “La La Land” is a very feisty, edgy, playful song about someone who’s famous but not afraid to be herself, someone who doesn’t let celebrity go to her head. One verse says “who says I can’t wear my Converse with my dress? Oh baby, that’s just me.” The chorus says,

“Some people say I need to be afraid
of losing everything
because of where I
had my start and where I made my name
but everything’s the same
in the la la land machine.”

Demi Lovato had my heart from very early in her career and her voice is as amazing as her songwriting skill (which is an understatement). To see that she started strong, went on a decline, battled her demons and overcame to continue making powerful music is a tremendous feat. Maybe these very words played a part in bringing her back to full recovery, as she realized that she couldn’t let anything change her for the worse. (It would be unjust to not recommend her comeback song, “Skyscraper.”)

I can unashamedly say that many of those songs don’t need to stay in my childhood– they are just as relevant, some even more relevant than before (particularly for the love songs now that I’m of age and engaged). Seeing that some artists like Miley are grown now, and have made drastic changes in their career in terms of target audience, message and style, I could only hope that they are not ashamed of their past, and that they don’t dismiss the beautiful songs they made popular as childish, boring, or cliché. Their words still speak to me.

Virtues from Motherhood: Who does this belong to?

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A few weeks ago a fellow Buzz Blogger, Neffi, wrote a post about protecting your own energy and how we don’t realize how the people and the environment around us can greatly impact our own energies. After I read her post it reminded me of a question my counselor told me to ask myself “who does this belong to?” meaning, are these my woes or someone else’s that I was taking on? And if the troubles weren’t mine I should give them back. Now, this isn’t to say that I should be throwing people’s problem’s back at them but it simply means that I can’t be carrying other people’s burdens for them.

Having anxiety makes my own problems and worries amplified as it is, so taking on the problems or responsibilities of others doesn’t help me any. I have a history of internalizing the things other people are experiencing and somehow letting it affect my life and my own happiness. For example, if someone was moving or changing jobs and was a little stressed out over it, suddenly I was stressed out too, and my anxiety would run wild making it somehow affect me. I’d wonder if their moving would change our friendship, would we still be friends? Would they still want to hang out? Did they ever really want to?? You can see how quickly that can escalate when you take on other people’s situations as your own.

So the “who does this belong to?” rule is monumentally helpful in stopping that spiral before it starts, I even say it out loud to myself at times because it makes it more valid to me. Before I start to worry I ask myself that question and if I can’t legitimately pinpoint how this will affect me, my life, my daughter or my well-being, I force myself to leave it alone.

I still give my friend’s advice and listen to their problems or what’s bothering them and I still make every effort to be there for them. However, I focus more on helping them and being there than worrying for them. I also learned this year that sometimes you need to return the energy people give to you; if they aren’t there in your hour of need, why should you rush to theirs at your own expense. Learning balance is key, and people earn the place they wish to have in your life.

At the end of every day as you lay your head down and run through your final list of “to-do’s” and lingering worries you should keep stock of the things that need to get done, for you. Worry about what you can do for others needs after your own needs are met, think of that demonstration at the begin of every airplane flight; the one where the flight attendant tells you to put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others. The moral of the story there is, you can’t help others if you’re not okay. So next time you worry if someone else is okay, ask who’s worry that really is and if you’re doing okay today first.

Only Boys are Scientists

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scientist_01

A young girl in my Sunday school class asked me:

scientist_03

Slightly horrified, I gaped as all her friends looked at each other sullenly and agreed. They sadly nodded to one another and sat in quiet contemplation. Being as they were in my classroom and about a foot away from me, I felt it was my duty to pick up these poor disillusioned younglings.

scientist_05

scientist_07

Of course, in my mind, my intervention was almost divine and third-eye-opening. Unfortunately for me, it came out as a garbled mess of rushed words:

“Nothey’renot!”

scientist_06

Flustered, I looked the four fourth graders dead in their eyes and waited with bated breath as to view their reactions. One said:

scientist_09

 To which, I replied: 

scientist_11

And let me tell you, the wonder in these young girls’ eyes was almost too much to handle. It was as if, for as long as they’d been alive (approximately nine years) it hadn’t occurred to them that they had such power even as woman in such a male-oriented world.

Nine years is a long time!

Why do we systematically tell such precious souls that they can’t achieve what they wish to achieve? These little beans had no idea that they could be whatever they set their mind to and worked hard for! Insecure women stem from these little girls who are constantly told  that only men can do certain jobs and that women should take on occupations of the “gentler” notion.

But we can change this, y’all!

We can educate these young girls that they can be engineers, surgeons, doctors, astronauts, construction workers, boss ladies! They should never have the wonder that I saw in the eyes of my students last Sunday because they should have it instilled in them that they can do it all. It should not be a surprise but a  normal everyday thing: Girls are amazing, and we can do anything!

The truth has to take root from childhood and these young ladies need more than their Sunday school teacher to teach them that. We need to bring this kind of encouragement not only into classrooms, but into family homes, playgrounds and anywhere we go. A future of strong female leaders are waiting for their time to bloom. We owe it to them to start nurturing that seed.

Why?

Because scientists aren’t just boys.

 

All artwork by Pebbles.

 

Brooklyn’s Historical Ice Cream

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Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory sign

Image by: Sabrina Vasquez

When I encounter the world or begin to converse with someone new, I begin to tell them of my interest in the pastry arts and my aspirations of becoming a pastry chef. This often leads to an arrangement of many questions such as the specific industry role that I wish to work in as well as the best bakeries or dessert shops around New York. Unfortunately, I almost always find that I answer that last question with great bias. Being a native Brooklynite, I want to constantly tell others what Brooklyn has to offer as a city more specifically when comparing the best dessert spots to dine.

Brooklyn is a haven for many activities, restaurants, and other social interests but even more so, for the dessert world. Brooklyn is the first borough in New York to be known for its world famous New York styled cheesecake at Junior’s Restaurant & Bakery and to have an entire restaurant that has an innovative menu dedicated to the use of avocados in every dish, Avocaderia. So when someone asks me about my favorite dessert of all time is …*drum roll*…ice cream. I cannot help but to get elated in talking about what Brooklyn has to offer in this constantly evolving industry of ice cream. This particular dessert has such a variance with the addition of other countries’ versions on this classic treat that have also found a place in this modernized New York borough. Around the world, ice cream is consumed much differently than it once was years ago.

First, we have the difference of quality which is ultimately based on the amount of air that is pumped into the ice cream during the freezing process. Second, there are different bases such as milk based, cream based, or egg based which can change the overall creaminess and mouthfeel finish of the ice cream. And finally, the presentation of the ice cream such as Thai Rolled Ice Cream that is small rolls of ice cream or ice cream made from liquid nitrogen that allows a fun look of blowing smoke when consuming the ice cream.

A few days ago, I had the pleasure of visiting the Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory for the very first time. It was an amazing experience that showed off the endless talent Brooklyn has to offer. The Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory opened shortly after September 2001 with the help of the owner, Mark Thompson. The building itself was converted into a factory from a 1922 fire boat house, located at 1 Water Street. It is the oldest fire boat house on a ferry landing in Brooklyn and has become an official landmark. It was once used as a place to hold firefighting practice sessions before it was converted years later.

bowl of ice cream

Image by: Sabrina Vasquez

According to the New York Times, Thompson grew up in Pennsylvania and even had a summer job working in an ice cream shop which enabled his education as well as his love for ice cream. When he later moved to New York, he began working as a valet in the Water Club before quickly working his way up the ranks until he was director of operations. He then became friends with the restaurant owner, Michael O’Keeffe. In 1998, O’Keeffe leased this 1920’s fire boat house that was located in the Fulton Ferry Landing between Bargemusic and the River Cafe which was also owned by O’Keeffe. But the fire boat house had already been established as a city landmark which meant that O’Keeffe could not install any additional restaurant equipment such as an oven or use the space as a restaurant. O’Keeffe then thought of creating an ice cream shop and when he shared his ideas with Thompson, he offered to run it due to his ice cream background. Thompson was nervous as he has only prepared ice cream for family and friends in a small half-gallon ice cream maker and would now have to be familiar with the use of commercial equipment. And Thompson limited his menu to eight flavors of ice cream, to simply sell just the classics. The ice cream shop was set to open on September 12th, 2001 but due to the attacks of September 11th, Thompson extended his official opening to the next month and instead donated thirty tubs of ice cream to the local firehouses and other relief workers.

The décor is very old-school of a traditional ice cream shop, they have a great varying selection of flavors but I ended up having both the Butter Pecan and the Peaches and Cream. The ice cream was absolutely delicious; it was so creamy and vibrantly flavored. The ice cream is sold by the scoop inexpensively or by the gallon. The ice cream is prepared in small batches Philadelphia-style, which is without the addition of eggs in the base. Usually, ice cream uses eggs or other thickening agents as an emulsifier to allow ice cream to get a creamier texture but sometimes this can add a greasier or chewier texture that isn’t as appealing to the palate. Most ice cream shops do not use the Philadelphia style because it is more expensive due to the use of cream as the thickener instead of other fillers but it is simpler to make as it is an easier process.

A Scoop of… History

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The Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory, known for its delectable frozen treats all year round. It resides juxtaposed the Fulton Ferry Landing, serving customers along the piers of Brooklyn Bridge Park. It’s a short walk from CityTech’s campus, in fact it only took me around ten minutes to walk to the beloved ice cream shop. Due to its close proximity, I find that it’s a go-to place for down time or time away from the busy college campus.

The building that holds all the tasty treats was once a fireboat house for the New York City Fire Department’s Marine Company 7. According to Cory Seamer, It was built in 1926 with clapboard, the tower on top of the house was used as a lookout. As time went on the station was used less and less before just amounting to a place to hang-dry hoses; like that piece of equipment in your house that has been reduced to only being used as a coatrack. The station then was revitalized into a museum called the Fulton Ferry Museum, National Maritime Historical Society and stayed in this state from 1976 up until 1982. After facing near demolishment to make way for new construction, the small boat house was named a landmark due to it’s grand significance.

In 2001, nearly two months after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, Mark Thompson took his chance as an owner in the restaurateur profession and opened the Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory to the public. Sixteen years later and another location available to Brooklynites in Greenpoint, the ice cream shop is still going strong.

After buying the ice cream (because I had to do my complete research for the enrichment of the post), My travel buddy for this post, Brianna, and I ventured outside to find some natural seating. We walked along the piers in the 70 degree breeze while spooning globs of rich frozen goodness that I can swear was made from the gods. We finally settled down on a large lawn and overlooked the New York City skyline. After our clothes soaked in all the fresh-cut grass smell and Brianna swatted the fifth mosquito off her face, we decided it was time to retreat back to the city’s civilization.

It wasn’t too expensive; a double scoop dish was only $7. The price is reasonable to me since the ice cream is just that good; there’s no other way to put it.

Tune in tomorrow to hear Brianna’s side of the story and get a complete breakdown of the most delicious ice cream I have ever tasted.

The hidden road…

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Night to day and day to night, nature has its ways of revealing its beauty; like it’s peak of the morning where night and day meet. Coming here is what I call a “happy accident.” My boyfriend and I were on our way to fresh meadows park when we took a wrong turn, this wrong turn led us to one of the most beautiful horizons; it had a lovely view of the ocean and  city. This place is known as Road Marina.

Photographer: Gennessy Palma

Hidden yet seen by the eyes of the observant, this place was a wonderful experience. Though it is near city life, the ambiance is soothing and silent. The area is great for quality family time and is a great place to relax ESPECIALLY after midterms, am I right? Think about it, a breather, riding along in a car making a stop to a quiet and peaceful area. Some place to collect yourself, along with it is a soft breeze, allow yourself to feel it’s embrace on your skin let it dance in your hair, ever so playfully.

Photographer: Gennessy Palma

To my nature lovers, I recommend this place  if you’re in need of a quiet spot or just a new place to venture. Whether you want a new breathing spot or a studying spot, this is a good location to go to. After that you can always go to fresh meadows! It’s not so far from there; the Marina is fairly close to meadows.  Here you can enjoy the many beautiful monuments within the park; such as the famous globe. Interesting display, isn’t it? Looks better at sunset, in my opinion. Dearest readers, if you have any questions or recommendations, feel free to talk, I’m all ears! Have a place in mind? Lemme know! I’d love to explore new places, as always, positive vibes to all!

Photographer: Gennessy Palma

Don’t Base Your Academic Career On Rate My Professor

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I am currently a college student who has been attending New York City College of Technology for three years now. Like any other student I make sure that I take the necessary steps so that I can have an enriching, enlightening, and successful semester. Towards the end of each semester, I make sure that I register for my classes as soon as possible, so that I can get amazing professors next term. In order to get great professors for the following term, I usually consult Rate My Professor because it’s extremely helpful. For those of you who don’t know about Rate My Professor, I’ll try to explain the content of the website. Rate My Professor is a website that does exactly what it says it does, it provides students a space to vent or provide success stories about their professors. The website is broken down into various categories such as schools, departments, and the individual names of each professor. You can type in just about any professor’s last name, and he or she will have at least one review from a past, or present student. In my opinion Rate My Professor has always been an amazing and accurate resource until this past year, when I registered for a few professors that I wasn’t compatible with.

Last semester I registered for a few classes based on the Rate My Professor ratings that I had found online. In doing so, I created a really hectic schedule for myself, which made my life difficult. Two days out of the week, I had early classes, and the other two days I was getting out of class after sun down. During this semester, I was also working, so it was very difficult to fit my work hours, into my set class schedule. However, I did find a way to make my class and work schedule coincide. At first my semester was going well, I was on top of my work, and I understood my professor’s lectures in their entirety. As time progressed, the connection between my professor and I began to decrease. I was so shocked that I was having difficulties with my professor, because I picked the professor that had 4.0 out of 5.0 rating on the website, as well as a CHILLI PEPPER, which indicates how hot the professor is!! My initial thought was that I was the reason that I was no longer grasping the information, which my professor was lecturing. I tried to change my seat, with hopes that I would catch on to the work that I wasn’t understanding. I also went to my professor’s office hours and sat down with them, and unfortunately that didn’t work either. Then one day it finally dawned on me, that I may be having difficulty with my professor because I put my whole semester in the hands of the opinion of another student!! Gasp!!

I had unknowingly based my whole college semester on what three students thought about a professor. In doing so, I paid for a class out of pocket (with no financial aid), that I thought I would do well in, just because another student said that they did well, in that particular class. I was so upset with myself because I had a crazy schedule, since a few students said that my current professor was amazing, and it turned out that this amazing professor, wasn’t so amazing to me. Don’t get me wrong, about 80 percent of the time Rate My Professor is accurate, because students hold no punches, and tell it like it is. However I do feel that students shouldn’t rely so heavily on Rate My Professor like I did.
In reality what works for one student, may not work for another. I am living proof that sometimes a student’s interpretation, or Rate My Professor reviews can make or break their semester. My advice would be to look your professor up on google beforehand, go to their office hours, and ask some of your favorite professors about other professors, who have the same mannerisms and teaching styles. DO NOT rely solely on one source, and possibly mess up your college careers by failing a class, because you aren’t compatible with a teacher, who received great reviews online. Do your own research and find out what professor is best for you, and make your college schedule convenient for you. Make your own choices so that you can have a prosperous college career.

Self Discovery Series Part 1: Who are you??

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For the past past few weeks I’ve been meeting a lot of new people and I have been put into several situations where I’ve had to introduce myself and give this sort of “quick spiel” of who I am. Also, I have some upcoming assignments that have been forcing me to really dig deep and look into myself. One major assignment is a personal essay of why I have chosen the career of Human Services, helping people.
A few months ago I had to give a speech that asked just that question: Who am I?

I remember brainstorming about being the middle child of 7 siblings, my cultural background, being an aunt, my job, and blah blah blah, and I landed on basing the speech on my zodiac sign, Leo. I find that I use that to define me a lot. I’m comfortable in finding comparisons between myself and a female lion/ queen, and that starts the basics of how I would describe my personality, actions, determination, and confidence. The truth is, I think that question “who are you?” may just be the most complex question on earth. It’s so vague and so heavy. I asked my best friend what is the most complex question on earth, expecting agreement from him, and he said “if you’re talking to a female it’s what do you want to eat?” LOL. There is some truth there, I’m not gonna lie. After that I asked him “who are you?” and he answered “ I don’t know. Who am I meaning what?”, and that response only proved my point.

I decided to do a four part series, this being part 1, on self discovery and the concept of self defined identity because we’re always discovering ourselves right? We’re such fascinating, diverse, and ever changing creatures that a question like “who are you?” at any given time can have the possibility of so many different answers. The American English Dictionary defines self-discovery as “a becoming aware of one’s true potential, character, motives, etc.” It can also be defined as “the process of acquiring insight into one’s own character”.

Self-discovery means many things. You do not get to know yourself simply by growing up and growing old. Knowing yourself is a conscious effort; you do it with intention and on purpose. It means finding your purpose in life, it means digging deep into your childhood and revealing experiences that shaped you…good and bad. It means realizing what your beliefs are and living by them. The effects of self-discovery include happiness, clarity, fulfillment, and even enlightenment. It can end with you completely changing the course of your life, and starting to follow your true passion and purpose.

The journey however is not always an easy road. The journey includes fear, doubt, confusion, misunderstanding, and literally re-visiting all your choices and experiences in life, including choices that were made FOR you, but ‘whoo’ I’m not gonna go there yet.

The journey starts with basically interrogating yourself.
To begin with, do you know yourself well?
Are you clear about what you want in life?
Do you have a sense of purpose?
What defines you?
What makes you happy?
If you stop to think for a second, you may find that you have answered “no” or “don’t really know” to some of the questions above. Which is fine.

If I were to ask you who you are, what would you say?
Would your answer include your name, sex, or ethnicity?
Would it include your job, relationship status, age, or faith/religion?
Would you include your parental status: “I am a mom, dad, I have no children”?
Would you list character and personality traits? Take a minute to think about it.

Would it be easier to recollect someone’s else perspective or description of you? What about recollecting what your parent’s want you to do or be, which defines your current life? Example: “I’m going to school for nursing, my mom says I will always have a job once I’m in the medical field” Is it easier to recollect your shortcomings and how you’re not the person you want to be right now? In my experience it always seems to easier for people to list things they regret or wish happened, than to state confidence and firm belief in who they are now in this moment.

I’m asking a lot of questions but it’s only because I really want to get you thinking. My biggest goal for this series is to challenge you to dig below the surface. What if the condition of answering the question “who are you?” was that you could not include any of those outside factors I just mentioned. Yes they are a part of you, I’m not taking that away, but what those things are, as I like to call them, are “molders”. Those things have molded you into the person you are. We have many different people in us. There’s you at work, and there’s you in social environments. There’s you with family, and there’s you with friends. Sometimes there’s a different person for different friends!
Then there’s YOU. Underneath it all. In private moments. What is that person like, what do they want out of this life, what do they believe? What is his/her core values?

artist: Revalatori; https://www.instagram.com/revelatori/

Up until now, it is very possible that you don’t have a clear idea of who you really are. Self discovery should be an important goal for everyone. It’s only through discovery of self that we can identify our purpose and fully actualize and maximize our potential. Maybe you haven’t spent enough time getting to know yourself. Maybe you’ve been defining yourself by the things mentioned earlier, or the things you do or don’t have.

What are the steps to self discovery? How do you burrow below these things in the picture above and find that true self?

I love sharing outside sources because they give me more insight into topics I find interesting and I know can provide you more insight and follow up on the topics touched in my posts. Today I want to share these posts with you A Journey to Self Discovery, Simple Steps to Self Discovery, and hope it can help you begin your journey or continue to navigate your journey to knowing you, and creating your own identity profile.

To get the most out of this series it’s going to be important to be open, honest, and committed with yourself. Until we meet again next week, I want you to find 15 minutes in your down time to do the following:

Find a quiet place/ time where you won’t be distracted for the time. Take the first 5 minutes to enter a space of relaxation. You can close your eyes and just breath, or meditate, whatever it is that will get your mind clear.
Next, reflect on these three questions:

Who am I? Why am I here? What makes me unique?

I would suggest you speak your answers out loud as they come to you as though you are outside yourself, talking to yourself. Or write it down, which I always prefer by the way, visualization is everything. It doesn’t have to make sense, just whatever consciously comes out, make note of it. Do so for 5 minutes. After a few minutes if you possibly draw a blank and feel like “that’s it”, no. Don’t get uncomfortable by the silence and keep thinking. Now take the final 5 minutes to reflect on how this made you feel, what did it give you insight into? What memories came up? How have these things contributed to who you are today? How much of it can you say is your identity?

Okay, that’s your homework and it’s the first step to clearing the blur and getting down to the real you. The posts I shared also give you other soul searching exercises and thought provoking questions to help you as well.
Until part 2 next week, Safe and fruitful travels down your journey 🙂 Love ya!

 

“That wonderful and terribly frightening journey of self-discovery. That process of growth, of being an independent person, of learning who you are and what you want from life, is the real secret of life, happiness and beauty.” – Diane Von FurstenBurg