A Note on Beauty

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On most mornings, you can often find me cross-legged in front of a mirror buffing on eyeshadow. It’s a process:

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Admittedly, I had begun wearing makeup to please the false gods of society and snooty middle school girls who I always thought were cooler than me. I was delving into the world of beauty for the sake of others.

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I was trying to match looks that weren’t necessarily meant for me, for the sake of fitting in. So, instead of makeup being a source of creative expression and confidence, it became a crutch and a prison. I HAD TO LOOK LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS!

In hindsight, however, I think I had to go through that painful stage to get to where I am now. I wasn’t born naturally assured of my worth and I had to work for it. I still do. Because of this, makeup for me today isn’t the same as it was for me five or six years ago. Where putting on eyeliner and the perfect mascara was a tool to fit in, those things today I do for myself.

Naturally, there are the skeptics:

“That’s BS. You just want to impress boys.”

“If you were actually confident, you wouldn’t wear makeup. You’d be fine with your own face.”

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Well, I am fine with my own face. Thank you for the concern! Of course, there are days where I don’t feel one hundred percent and need the makeup to give me a little boost. But for the most part, I am happy with what my mama gave me. I have been living in my body for all 19 years of my life and I’ve seen it evolve and change and I have learned to love its little nooks and crannies. My makeup has become part of my routine, just like coffee or showers. And believe me, I don’t drink coffee or care for my hygiene for the sake of others.

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A great little instagram video I saw a couple of years back mirrors my sentiments perfectly:

(Instagram: @tinawoodsss)

The first time I put purple on my eyelids at fifteen, I could hardly give two toots about what the cute guy in science thought. I put it on because I liked the way it made my eyes look. That same sentiment applies for the reds and yellows I put on my lids in the present, despite the colors not being “in season.”

I was scrolling through YouTube a few days ago, and I happened to watch a video of actor Dove Cameron getting her hair dyed. While her hair was processing, she and the man doing her hair were sitting outside in the LA sun, talking about life and beauty.  About two and three quarters of a minute into the video, Dove says something that has stuck with me. She explains that Beauty gets a “bad rep” because it is often associated with vanity. But, “…if it comes from a place of self-love, it’s fun.”

Makeup isn’t necessarily about being prettier about everyone else. At least it isn’t for me. For me, the way I do my makeup or the way I dress isn’t to impress the world or boys or picky middle school girls. For me, Beauty has transformed from a social pressure into another piece of art. I do it for the love of it.

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Hey, if anyone has any interesting eyeshadow looks you could suggest for me to recreate, please leave me a link below!

Thanks for reading and I’ll see you all next week!

Pebbles <3

Life After Instagram

Social networks in my opinion are now one of the most popular, and useful networking tools in 2016. However like everything in life, social networks come with negative and positive qualities. As a third year college student, I have participated in internet socializing for almost 10 years. 10 years is a lot of time wasted, keeping up with other people’s lives, new fashions trends, and other things that aren’t necessarily beneficial to my life. So, towards the end of my second year of college I decided that I needed to make a drastic change in my life. I realized that the amount of time, and effort that I was putting into social networks was detrimental to my well–being for various reasons. I decided to give up all my social networks once and for all, with hopes of truly embracing the beautiful aspects of life. I realized that once I deactivated all of my accounts there was NO TURNING BACK!! I pulled myself together, mustered up some courage, and hit the deactivate button on every single social network account that I had ever started. Believe it or not, after I deleted all of my accounts I felt free and I was ready to start my new life, my real life without social networks.

After deleting all of my social networks, I waited a few days before telling any of my “friends” or family. I wanted to see who would notice that I had actually removed myself from the limelight permanently. I thought that everyone would immediately realize my absence, and ask me why I decided to stop sharing my life with the world. In all actuality, no one really realized I was gone until days, weeks, and almost months later. I was surprised to see how my communication with my “friends” decreased after I no longer had a social network. I realized that a lot of my conversations were based on new trends, and topics that were addressed only on social networks. Without new memes or drama to reference back to, I noticed that my communication with other people had decreased. I began to realize how large of a role social networks played in my peers lives. By deleting all of my social networks, I became an outsider, confined to experiencing life for what it really was, REAL!

During the years of my life that I was heavily influenced by social networks, there were so many aspects of life that I missed out on. My life was passing me by, and I was so concerned with other people, and how they were living their lives. At times I found myself comparing my success to other people’s lives that I saw online. I became so hooked, that I would wake up in the morning, and immediately check my phone! One day I decided to log out of my account for a day, just to see how different life would be. At first, I was a little antsy because I wanted to constantly check what was going on with my friends. As the day progressed I relaxed, and I realized that my mind was actually at peace. I wasn’t worried about who unfriended me, or certain people’s motives for following me. I wasn’t arguing with people who left nasty comments under my pictures. I also wasn’t engaging in conversations with people, who I may not have ever met in real life. It was at that moment, I knew that social networks had to be removed from my life for good!!!

In the beginning it was difficult to learn how to maneuver without constantly checking my phone for likes, compliments, cute emojis, etc. As time progressed, I learned a lot more about myself, and the world that I lived in when my head wasn’t constantly buried in my phone. I didn’t feel required to find the correct lighting, to take the perfect selfie, or to get an obscene amount of likes from people who didn’t really matter to me anyway. I wasn’t constantly stopping throughout my outings to take pictures in cool areas, just to post them online for other people’s enjoyment. After deleting my social networks, I could actually go to a restaurant and enjoy food without having to get the perfect snapshot. The person in front of me was actually able to have my undivided attention, without me rudely glancing down at my phone. I was re-experiencing the world, this time with a brand new outlook.

After deleting my social networks, I came to the conclusion that I had been revealing my life to outsiders. I was unknowingly putting myself at risk or worse, in DANGER! These people who were my internet friends could be stalkers, murderers, abusers,who knows?!. I allowed random people to befriend me, under the false pretense that they just wanted to like my pictures. Little did I know that I would encounter some extremely irrational people. I understand that using the internet is addicting because it fills a void within people’s lives. Some people want attention, some people want to be in other people’s business, some people want to network, and some people are searching for love. However, social networks can be very dangerous, and once you post something on the internet, it’s out into the world forever, it only takes one screenshot. I can honestly say from experience that in life, the less you expose about yourself, the better your life will become.
October 29, 2017 makes 2 years and 9 months since I’ve deleted all of my social networks. I have noticed drastic changes in various areas of my life. My grades in school have improved because I can devote more of my time to my studies. I’ve also been able to spend quality time with my loved ones, and actually enjoy the moments we share together. After I deleted my Instagram, so many more opportunities blossomed for me. I also was blessed to find a beautiful person to experience my internet free life with. Without social networks in my life, I learned how to appreciate how amazing life could actually be. Personally I feel that removing myself from social networks was one of the best decisions I ever made. I am now able to embrace reality, as well as the essential parts of life. I challenge all of the people that read this blog to take a break from social media, and focus on your real life. Then after a few days come back to my blog post and let me know how differently you see the world after taking a break from social media.

Controlling Our Digital Presence and Identity

"Producing New AND DIGITAL MEDIA: YOUR GUIDE TO SAVVY USE OF THE WEB"

Cohen, J., & Kenny, T. (n.d.). Producing new and digital media: Your guide to savvy use of the Web.

 

Lately, I have been thinking about my personal brand and how important it is. It was very easy for me to review all my social media accounts and determine what my digital presence and identity is. The fact is, I only have a few: Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Although Facebook is my most prominent one, I do have a small digital presence on Twitter and Instagram. I would say what I don’t post on Facebook tells more about me than what I do post. By that, I mean that I rarely post.  So for me, it’s more about creating a digital identity that I would want to be known for.

But the fact, it is easy to forget that what we post online can remain online even if we delete it and this can potentially hurt our career and relationships. Anything we choose to upload, tweet, reblog, favorite, “like”, can be endless and very hard to erase. Whether our information is shared intentionally or unintentionally, our digital footprint is being gathered by various companies and employers and often used to obtain personal information about us. According to Cohen and Kenny “from the moment you turned on your first computer and double-clicked on the icon for the web browser of your choice, you have created an abundance of personal information, available through search engines such as Google or Yahoo!” (207). That is why it is far better to be in control of our digital identity than to allow something to take control. But whether we are branding, as in my case, or re-branding, it is important to be aware of the information that is out there about us. Even if we didn’t post the information, it may be attached to someone else’s post.

But how do we control our digital identity? Understanding the significance of our digital footprint is an important step in protecting our online identity. Cohen and Kenny (pp. 205-206) ask readers to consider what their online identity is and then take charge of it. To answer this question takes some thought, not because it is a hard question but because it is an important one and starts with knowing what we do everyday that is recorded. That doesn’t mean that we should be afraid to go online and visit sites. The best thing to do is not to stay offline but to be conscious of what we post.

The best way to control our digital identity is by deciding what communities we want to be a part of and what content we want to post. We should also decide what social media profiles we want to use such as LinkedIn and Facebook. Also important is to use positive aspects to help create our personal branding for example, a personal blog can highlight our strengths and personality. Finally, we should realize that controlling our digital presence and identity is long-term challenge that requires dedication and persistence.