Endings…

Historically, I have never been good at endings. While singer Sam Smith claims to be “too good at good-byes”, I for one am not. When it has come to breaking up with someone, instead of outright saying I wanted it to be over, I would just stay in the situation. Or maybe I would try to do something upsetting to cause them to end it instead (that never worked lol, and also just isn’t nice at all).

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I would be the same when it was time for me to leave my job; I would hesitate to say something until the last minute. I’ve always never wanted to disappoint or hurt someone by leaving so I would always be anxious and avoid it as much as I could.
So I really have just had quite a bad history lol. That’s history though, I do things right now.

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When I joined the Buzz team a year ago, I figured I would just be writing things similar to what I enjoy in the blogs I read. I didn’t know the process behind it, but I was oh so ready to learn and conquer. I genuinely feel like that’s what I have done over this past year. The Buzz team is one of the most empowering teams I have ever been a part of. A diverse all-woman team of artists, intellectuals, nature lovers, care free spirits, and an overall sense of community and care. I say this to say that this will be my last blog post but I do not leave this job behind me. The lessons I have learned about myself, my writing, my voice, and my message will carry with me forever. I hope my posts have been able to uplift, motivate, empower, and comfort you, as that is what is has done for me writing them.

Interestingly enough, before I switched career goals I actually wanted to be an English teacher. I had a passion for writing, especially fictional stories, and I thought that’s what I was going to be. I later found love for helping people and decided on Human services but being with the Buzz brought me back to that place where I loved writing and found it therapeutic. That is a feeling I will miss. The moments when an idea jumps in my head and I think “That’s definitely going in my next post!”

To my readers, whether you have been with me for a while or this is your first post, goodbyes are not as final as you may think. Yes you may be closing a chapter, or losing contact with someone or something that has been constant in your life, but experiences never die. In a goodbye think of the good times. Think of the bad times and what they taught you, and how they may have made you stronger.

As I say goodbye to The Buzz, I say Thank you to the team, to the administrators Jill, Jody, and Syelle for the opportunity, the memories, the experience, and the wisdom gained.

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When I came to City Tech as a transfer, making friends, any extracurriculars, nothing of the sort was on my mind. I wanted to come and finish my degree and go but The Buzz has made City Tech feel like a home for me and I thank you all for that. I wish you all the best!!

 

Love Love Love Love Neffi, Over and Out…..

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How Do You Treat Yourself?

I literally counted down until spring break arrived. I’ve actually had my Cancun getaway booked since February!!!

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That’s my thing: traveling.
I try to take a vacation and travel somewhere (not a “stay-cation”) at least three times a year. Sometimes my bank account is like “Girl bye, you tried it!”, lol.

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So yea, lol, three doesn’t always make the cut, but at least two vacations keeps me satisfied. That is how I treat myself. I work hard, I study hard, so I make sure that I play TWICE as hard.

Traveling is more like a “big” treat for me. I do other small (and way less expensive) things for myself too. I LOVE Thai rolled ice cream and I reward myself with it any day that the temperature outside is above 55 degrees, like last friday for example.

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Photo taken by Yours Truly at ICE NY !

Also, I love getting facials! It just so happens that my health insurance covers facials at the same place where I get physical therapy, and I make sure to use my benefits!!
None shall go to waste, lol.

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But that’s me. These are things that I personally like to do as part of my self care regimen. It’s not always easy to just pick up and make time for these things, so often we neglect self care. I’m sure you can relate that it can be really easy to lose sight of yourself in the midst of all the things you are doing on a daily basis. Whether that includes work, school, taking care of someone else (child, family member, partner, etc), an internship, personal obligations, socializing, or whatever else. Too often what happens is that it’s not until you get to the “breaking point” that you are then forced to stop and take some time to focus on you.

I just said to my mom the other day that sometimes I feel like I’m just living the same day over and over and over. Do you ever feel like that? You wake up and you go from one place to the next; school then work-or vice versa. Then when you actually get home, neither of these things are actually in your rear view because you’re doing homework, or thinking about your next work shift. Then the next day comes and you repeat the same cycle.

Even if you aren’t working a job, I’m sure you have things other than school that take up your time on a daily basis. So my question to you is how do you treat yourself? I mean that in literal terms like “do you treat yourself well?”, and also “treat yourself” as in reward yourself.

So the literal terms- that’s things like do you get enough sleep? Do you eat properly and regularly? There was a point where I would be “so busy” I would forget to eat the entire day and when I got home, I would have the absolute worst headache. I would moan and groan about how I think it’s because I didn’t eat. DUH it is! That’s like driving around all day ignoring the gas light in your car, and then complaining when you break down in the middle of nowhere.

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When was the last time you checked your “tank” and made sure you were all filled up and good to go? The last person we should be ignoring is ourselves.
Do you put aside enough time for yourself with no outside distractions?

Ask yourself this one question: Am I treating myself the best I could?
If the answer is yes, congratulations!
It’s not the easiest thing to do so I commend you 100% for putting
you first. 🙂
If the answer is “no”, or you’re unsure, then today is the day to start to think about what you can do to treat yourself better.  

As students, “I don’t have time” is a common excuse we have when it comes to self-care.

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I know I preach a lot about self care, but that’s because every day on campus I see too many of my peers looking worn out–probably from hours of staring at textbooks, working on papers, and trying to meet rapidly approaching deadlines. As our responsibilities pile up, it’s easy to allow our own health and sanity to take a backseat to feelings of restlessness. Sooner or later, the effects of excessive stress remind us that our personal well-being should never be overlooked, whether we ask for the reminder or not.

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Suggestions of ways to treat yourself/ care for yourself is different for everyone. Your friend’s self-care routine might include a 7 a.m. run or gym visit every morning, but for you, just thinking about doing anything at 7 a.m. might make you even more stressed out than you already are, lol. I get stressed every night when I remember I have an 8:30 class and I swear the whole semester goes by and I never get used to it! In that situation, maybe a short walk on afternoons or evenings would work better for you. The thing is self-care isn’t about what anybody else is doing; It’s about what your mind, body and spirit are telling you that they need.

I want you to take this Self Care Assessment that we in Human Services use with our clients. With it we are able to get a better idea of how well a client is treating themselves and the things that bring them pleasure or happiness. We also use it ourselves to assess our own state. The assessment states that it “provides an overview of effective strategies to maintain self-care.” As the directions on the assessment says: “after completing the full assessment, choose one item from each area that you will actively work to improve. This will at least give you an idea on where to begin and you can brainstorm idea on how you plan to improve your self care in that area.”  Taking this test is a big step to changing or improving how you treat yourself because awareness is always step one. I’m excited for you!

We have to take care of ourselves along with taking care of our responsibilities. Self-care is not always the easiest thing to implement and be consistent with, especially while striving for success during your academic undergrad journey. I’m definitely still learning to nurture, and take care of myself while gaining a satisfactory level of student-work-life balance. It’s difficult at times, especially during midterms, and finals, and hectic times at work-but I know how important it is.

Like the well known quote says “If you don’t love yourself, who will?”; It’s the little pleasures that get us through our everyday grind. Lunch from our favorite place, sweets and treats to seal a long day, getting your eyebrows done, or kicking back and watching the game. Don’t wait for your next day off, or your next planned vacation. Remind yourself that you deserve to live a satisfying life and enjoy yourself on a regular basis by doing little things that make you happy. What things from the assessment did you score lower on and would like to improve? What are you doing really well? Tell me about it below.

 

Love ya, Neffi

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Photo Retrieved from HerCampus