Tag Archives: stress

A Sandwich Fit For a…

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Spring break is a beautiful time of year, a time when I am somehow able to reconnect with those closest to me by way of necessary breaks from work and school. It is an amazing experience as you can begin to see the buds on the trees and know that blooming season is near. But as they say, April showers bring May flowers, this spring break in particular housed the worst weather as it involved rainy days, a snowstorm, and random bouts of sunny weather. It was an ever-changing forecast but it was still much appreciated to enjoy time spent with the family.

Still, I cannot wait for the vibrantly and colorful flowers to bloom as it is a beautiful sight to capture each year. I’ll admit though that spending time with my family can be a tad bit emotionally taxing as we all have varying personalities that can sometimes clash resulting in a disastrous outing. I was most excited to try some new food ventures and be able to have those momentous memories shared with my loved ones. I love food which isn’t that surprising as I post about something food related every single week in my blog posts but still, I have seen more foodies interested in capturing the most delicious food by way of photographs instead of actually enjoying the eating portion of the experience. However, that is my favorite part. As of late, I have been under a lot of stress and just as you hear of those who emotionally eat or stress eating, I do the exact opposite…I suppose that you call it emotional starving. After a quick google search, I have found that I am the victim of emotional under-eating…hmm, I didn’t know that it had an actual name. Anyway, I have found myself literally eating one meal a day, I know what you’re thinking…that it’s unhealthy and I need to find a better way to handle my stress than skipping meals. But I have been challenging myself to enjoy each meal that I consume to slowly find my way back to my love for food and not just simply for the benefits of eating.

I have no idea as to why I just divulged the innermost occurrences that I struggle with on the day-to-day basis but I wanted to share the details of the most recent restaurant outing that I had which was absolutely and deliciously amazing. Everyone had their own plans and outings besides my mom and I, so we decided to have an excursion of our own. We loaded ourselves into the family van and somehow ended up in Howard Beach. We visited this hidden gem called Sapienza Delicatessen & Restaurant. It is a nice restaurant to just enjoy a quick meal as they have an open concept seating arrangement. We really wanted to try their famous pastrami sandwich as they use the same meats that Katz’s Deli does for a lower price which was unbeknownst to us at that time. The sandwich came with a pickle on the side and the deli also sells an array of beverages, chips, and other snacks to pair with your sandwiches. The sandwich itself was succulent and the meat was extremely moist to the point that it almost melted in your mouth. It was an experience that I had never had before when eating a sandwich but one I will never forget. I hope that you get the chance to try one of these sandwiches at least once in your life, you won’t regret it and I’d definitely recommend the pastrami sandwich.

a sandwich in a food basket

Image by: Brianna Vasquez

Load Over Area

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Peeps! My next interview will be next week.
For today, here’s a weird STEM Dad Joke!

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If a load is applied to a smaller area, the resulting stress is much larger.

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And if that same load is applied to a larger area, the smaller the resulting stress.

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So, by that logic, the more I stress eat, the larger my area becomes. The larger my area, the more space for the load of school, work and home to disperse upon. Thus, the less stress I will incur…

Right…?

RIGHT?!

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Welp, at least I tried?

In all seriousness, our semester is coming to an end, my friends. It’ll get hard to stay on task with so many things flying your way, but I believe in you! Find your way of coping with stress and roll with it.

If you need some inspiration, maybe check out Cherishe’s work! She’s got some great advice for ending the semester on a good note whilst still taking care of yourself. Its a hard thing to do, but you are the occupant of a body that needs love and care. If you need time to do that, take it! At the end of the day, you’re the only one living in a body that doesn’t come with replacement parts.

Take some time and breathe and find a small thing to decompress while we hit the home stretch! (For me, I love a shot of humor!)

I hope you find your outlet, and I’ll catch you next week for another interview!

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Artwork by Pebbles.

Do the Write Thing (#WhyIWrite)

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By Robine Jean-Pierre

It is 11:40 pm on a Saturday evening. I worked from 5:00 to 9:20 pm on the audio/video crew for the Haunted Hotel, City Tech’s annual Halloween-themed attraction. I worked the same shift yesterday. Working on in-house shows and events is required for my technical production class, and inevitably takes away more time from an already jam-packed schedule.

It has been yet another long week of juggling six classes (17 credits) and two part-time jobs. We are about halfway through the semester and I have had a handful of anxiety attacks and emotional breakdowns. I have missed assignments and (very few) classes. I have wanted to cut my hair, or even tear it out; break computers; fling chairs; scream, kick, stomp, and curse out everyone within close range. I have wanted to drop at least one class even though the deadlines are long past. I have been playing a never-ending game of catch-up, handing in the lab report that was due last week this week, pushing off what’s due tomorrow because of what’s due in two hours, only to find that when tomorrow comes there is no time left. I have sat at a desk in front of a computer for hours, with the earnest hope of getting it all done in one shot, and next thing you know, my time is up and I have nothing to show for it. Nothing. NOTHING.

I have an overdue lab report and the current one to complete by Monday morning, not to mention an elaborate assignment for my theatrical drafting class that involves a software called AutoCAD, which I do not own at home because none of the laptops would be able to handle it. I don’t think the computer labs are even open on Sundays. Then there’s this very blog post that I am writing, also due Monday. My draft was supposed to be in since Tuesday, going by the guidelines, although Thursday has been a reasonable compromise for me and my fellow peer-reviewing blogger. I’m sure she’s tired of me failing to reach even that agreement.

I am not trying to brag about my struggles as we often do, hoping for a pat on the back for our valiant efforts or some sympathy to liven up the pity-party. It’s just that everything I have written so far is all I have been able to think about for a long time. I am hardly able to think straight and I felt like I would have gotten nowhere if I had tried to write about some topic that, let’s face it, I don’t even care about right now. (Believe me, I tried. It didn’t work.)

Even as I write this out of obligation (blogging is my job and as I said, my posts go up on Monday), I feel guilty being up this late, 12:07 a.m., writing this sob-story instead of completing my lab reports, at least. But honestly, it doesn’t matter how I arrange all my responsibilities on my priority list–it all has to get done, whether I work on something first or second or last.

On a deeper level, I have to do this. Not just because I signed up to be a blogger, not because of the paycheck. I need to write. Writing helps me to take the emotions and thoughts running around like chickens with their heads cut off, as they say, and line them up for inspection. Writing allows me to drain my mind of all the excess content, whether benevolent or noxious, although I have found that I will more readily write about a negative experience than a positive one. I know how to deal with happiness pretty well; I feel no need to transcribe it, no need to analyze it–it’s self-explanatory, and simple, and beautiful. But when turbulence comes and I’m overwhelmed with sadness or anger or guilt, writing is like the chisel that allows me to carve the masterpiece out of a hulking, rough, ugly chunk of faceless stone.

I write because it gives me healing, relief, satisfaction, and a deeper understanding of myself and my circumstances. It gives me a space to express myself without alarming anyone. I am writing this for an online audience, sure (and chances are that few people will read it, like my last eight posts) but I am writing this primarily for myself. I am the author, and that makes gives me the authority to say whatever I want to say, whatever I need to say, without feeling embarrassed or intimidated or worried about what other people might think. If I were to scream in the middle of a classroom and start pulling my hair out, that would worry people, for sure–but I could choose a better option and let these letters be my voice, and this post a scream, and at the same time, a sigh of relief. Writing keeps me sane.

 

Finding A Balance

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I recently became a legal adult not too long ago, and I must say that transitioning into adulthood has been difficult. If I could go back in time to my toddler years, I would have taken more time to enjoy them. I cherish the days when life was easier, and I didn’t have to worry about various aspects of life. During preschool, I would have appreciated the different hues of the watercolor paints. During nap time, instead of making funny faces at my friends, I would have actually went to sleep and had pleasant dreams about candy canes and unicorns. When I went home at night, I would have pulled out my coloring book, and enjoyed a cool cup of apple juice while relaxing. Wouldnt that be awesome to be able to go back to?

Unfortunately, I don’t own a time machine, and therefore, I must deal with my present endeavors. I must take life one day at a time and deal with all obstacles that come my way, no matter how difficult they may seem. Older and wiser people always say to me that I should stop complaining about my college years, because when they were my age they didn’t have any problems. What people fail to realize is that times have changed, the world has changed, and so have the people in it. Life can be extremely difficult in these days and times, and the only way to truly get through every day without cracking is to find a balance. Without a proper balance, life would become quite unbearable.

I myself decided during my first semester of college that I would find balance within my life. It took me some time to break down different aspects of my life and decipher who and what I should keep in it. After going through a few difficult situations, I knew I had to analyze my life and find balance within myself. I started to think of myself as a scale!! My body from my head to my toes was the beam of the scale. My arms,stretched out, held the cluster of chains that are attached to the two metal pans. These pans held the different aspects of the world, that I was carrying with me every day throughout my life. As I began to develop cognitively, I came to the realization that I was weighing myself down with a lot of negativity, and I was UNBALANCED. As I grew and matured, I realized that in order to progress, I had to start tilting myself from side to side, and letting some of those worldly things slide off of my scale.

Whether it may have been parasitic friends, family, difficult situations, unworthy opponents, or just bad memories, I had to start letting go of all the negativity.The negativity was blocking the positivity. I was so weighed down by it that I was blinded to the positive parts of my life. I was letting myself be sucked into all the wrong in my world, instead of enjoying all of the right. As I started to allow myself to let go of all the bad situations, bad people, and the bad memories, I began to tilt more towards the positive side. I started to pull myself out of all that despair and anger, and I found positivity and happiness.

When I finally started to feel balanced and centered, my life started to change. Of course there were other obstacles that I had to overcome, but once I became balanced, I learned how to disassociate myself from the negativity. While learning how to not take on negativity, I started to see so much more positive things happening around me, and for me. My grades were improving, my relationships were getting stronger, and I was becoming stronger as a person. I learned how to forgive people quicker, so that I could remove the negative feelings from my life quicker. I realized the more that I held these grudges, the more I would dwell on certain situations, it would eventually consume me.

The first step to living a positive life is to let all of the negativity roll off of you.

DO NOT LET IT STICK!!

DO NOT hold on to it!!

DO NOT overthink it!!

DO NOT give negativity any second chances!!

Life is too short to worry yourself over worldly things that make you unhappy, or weigh you down. Let go of as much negativity as you possibly can and embrace the positivity!! Of course there will always be some hardships in life, but these difficult times will influence you to work harder so that you can experience more positivity. Letting go of negativity is easier said than done, but it’s obtainable. Once you start to let go, you will feel lighter, less stressed and more at peace. I personally was in a toxic situation where I was allowing one person’s behavior to bring out the worst in me. I was letting anger consume me and once I came to the realization of what was happening I had to take a step back. I analyzed the situation I was in, and then I had a conversation with myself. It dawned on me that this unhappy person that sought to make my life miserable was miserable herself and reflecting her negative energy onto me. However, my mistake was letting her miserable behavior, pull me out of character. I decided that day that I would no longer allow her issues to anger me. Instead I didn’t hold on to her negativity, or let her negative words stick to me. At that moment, I told myself to stop overthinking and I made the decision to be happy and stop giving negativity second chances.

Major Key Alert!!

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Welcome to Fall ‘17! Another semester closer to your degree, push through y’all!
I know we’re all anxious to get our syllabi so we can start to map out what our next few months are going to look like. But first I want you to do something really quickly. Find the nearest clock, or your phone, and take note of the time.
Ok.
Now I want you to take the next 5 minutes to think about or write down (I prefer writing) all the things that make you happy and that make you smile. It can be people, places, things, feelings, whatever…go ahead, I’ll be right here.
I hope you did it and didn’t just keep reading to see where this was going lol.
What are some of the things that took over your mind?
Wasn’t it almost like watching a movie?
My 5 minutes consisted of my family, especially my 6-year-old niece Sanaa who gives me my entire LIFE.
I mean honestly look at this face!!!
I thought of a moment last week where she said she can’t wait to go to college so I can “teach her how to get A’s”. *tear*
I thought of my graduation day in the future, my job, my family, music I listened to on the train this morning, my birthday that just passed, all the moments I’ve made my parents proud, my circle of dope friends, and the fact that I was blessed enough to even wake up today. After the Hurricane Harvey devastation in Texas we witnessed over the weekend, it made me happy and grateful to have a comfortable home to return to later.
Every time I take some time out of my day to self reflect, one of the things that makes me happy in my life is my name: Nefertiti. After a lifetime of horrible mispronunciation and butchering (you can only imagine what middle school was like for me lol) I decided to go by my nickname Neffi. Despite the “adjustment” I’m very happy with my name because of the history it holds and the connection I feel to it. Nefertiti, as you may know, was a powerful Egyptian Queen and ironically my zodiac sign is Leo. So that also connects me to the representation of a lioness which is the queen of the jungle.
Having this name has motivated me to hold myself to a certain standard and I feel proud and honored knowing Nefertiti was a queen. My name and the history behind it is a reflection of the high standards my parents had for me while naming me. My mother says my father told her to give me a name that means Queen.They set that intention in me from birth and that plays as a goal setter in my life daily.
Taking time out to recognize things that make us happy and makes us smile usually makes us feel it in that moment. That moment is where we get to re-charge and motivate ourselves. It can be that shift you need at that right time. Right before you took these 5 minutes maybe you were stressed about something, having an off day, not in the mood, or maybe you just had a lot on your mind. When you start to feel that negative vibe coming on think about times where you almost gave up…what pushed you??
What kept you going?
What motivates you to continue your journey?
Whatever THAT is, that’s your major key. Your “major key” is just what it sounds like..The key to your success. The key to your piece of mind and happiness. The key to you pushing through everyday, especially the hard ones.
As we’re preparing for new challenges that may come with a lot of stress, a heavy workload, time management challenges, long days and sleepless nights; you have to tap into these escapes as often as possible.
Take at least 5 minutes daily to reflect and appreciate yourselves and the things that keep you going. Yes this class or new responsibility may be the death of you but look how far you’ve come. Acknowledge your potential and what you’re capable of. Look at what you’ve accomplished so far, helloooo you got this 🙂
Elevate your mood, elevate your life.

 

Emotional Intelligence – Why Is It So Important?

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the cover of a book called "Tom Norman: Emotional Intelligence" with a photo of a woman from the back in a cornfield, her arms raised

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Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions. What I find so amazing is that some people are born with it and some people learn it along the way. Although some researchers say you either have it or you don’t.

The following excerpt by Jessica Cambridge and Tom Norman discusses the importance of emotional intelligence:

Chapter 1: An Overview on Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence (also known as EQ) is the person’s ability to manage, use, identify and understand emotions in optimistic ways to overcome struggles, have compassion with others, resolve conflict, relieve stress and communicate effectively. EQ creates an impact in various aspects of our lives, such as the way we behave and interact with other people.

If you have a high EQ, you can recognize your own emotional state as well as others. Your EQ serves as your level of understanding the emotional aspect of relating with people in order to establish genuine relationships, achieve greater success at work and live a more fulfilling life.

Why EQ Is Very Important?

As we all know, it’s not only the smartest people that are the most fulfilled and successful in life. Perhaps you know someone who is 100% academically-inclined but he or she doesn’t know how to value personal relationships. Having intellectual intelligence (or IQ) is not enough to become successful in life. An above average IQ can get you to college – true! But in the end it’s your EQ that will help you handle the emotions, anxiety and stress of college life especially during examinations.

Emotional intelligence affects:

Your relationship with others – By controlling and understanding your emotions, you’ll be able to express how you understand and feel the emotions coming from your family, friends and work colleagues. Also, this allows you to communicate with them more effectively and develop a meaningful work and personal life.

  • Your mentality – Unmanaged stress creates impact in your mentality, making you susceptible to depression and anxiety. If you cannot manage or understand your emotions, there is a good chance that you will suffer from mood swings which can ruin work or personal relationships and leave you feeling isolated.
  • Your physical being – If you are unable to overcome stress, this can lead to severe health problems. Unmanaged stress speeds up the aging process, contributes to infertility, raises blood pressure, suppresses the body’s immune system and increases the risk of stroke and heart attack. In line with this, the crucial step to improving your EQ is by learning how to manage stress levels in your body.
  • Your work performance – Having an EQ helps you shove the social complexities of your workplace, lead and encourage workmates and most importantly, excel in your performance. Today, most companies view emotional intelligence as important as their employees’ technical ability hence they require EQ tests when hiring.

Personally, I think that emotional intelligence can be developed and that we can train out minds to think in a rational way. That means, taking time to think things through before acting.