Author Archives: Robine J

Mother Dearest

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my mom braiding my hairIt seems that every time Mother’s Day comes around, I find myself at a loss for words. I scratch my head thinking, what to say? What to do? What to get? I feel that as I get older, it gets increasingly difficult to express my affection and appreciation for her; the bar just keeps getting raised. Sometimes I get so anxious about it that my brain seems to freeze and I end up getting a last-minute, poorly thought out gift.

At the heart of Mother’s Day is the act of acknowledging that mothers are some of the greatest gifts there are. My most expensive gifts can mean nothing if they do not come from a place of true honor, respect, and gratitude. I would like to take the time to express my appreciation of some of my mom’s greatest qualities.

Generosity

My mom is a giver in every sense of the word. She freely gives of her time, energy, and resources to anyone who comes her way. She has opened the door of our apartment to many sojourners over the years. Whenever she has food, even something as small and simple as a chocolate bar, she offers to share some of it with everyone in the vicinity. This is a principle she has encouraged all of her children to live by. A character like hers is fitting for her role as a full-time pastor.

Can-Do Attitude

My mom never gives up (even when I think she should!). She will not throw out furniture unless it is absolutely beyond repair or replacement. I’ve seen her pull out her trusty bucket of tools and find unconventional ways to fix a dresser, cabinet, or doorknob (rather than wait on our not-so-reliable super). She would rather try and fail than not try it all, when it comes to household repairs. She is like a female “Bob the Builder,” a true handy woman, which only exemplifies her strength as a single mother.

Faithfulness

My mom has led weekly prayer and fasting services in our home for the past twelve years. Members have come and gone, challenges have arisen, neighbors have complained, rumors have spread, people have taken advantage of her kindness–and yet, she has continued doing what she believes God has called her to do.  She has done the same thing raising this family, never running away from responsibility. I admire her persistence and commitment.

I love you, Mom and I strive to be just as generous, creative and faithful as you are.my mom leaning against a window pane, looking up

The Language of Self-Talk

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By Robine Jean-Pierre

I’ve been reading this book inconsistently for quite some time now. My fiancé Angel read it first, and then he bought a copy for me. He knew that the knowledge inside would have a profoundly positive impact on my life, starting with my self-image. The book is called What to Say When You Talk to Your Self by Dr. Shad Helmstetter, and I may have briefly mentioned it in previous blog posts. With the support of research in neuroscience, the author asserts that the way our brains are wired plays a huge role in determining our success. The primary way to shape our brains (meaning our beliefs, attitudes, feelings, and behavior, successively) is through self-talk.

This does not have to mean literally having conversations with yourself in the mirror or out in public; it has more to do with the things you say about yourself, whether out loud or in your own mind. What you constantly say to or about yourself, you will come to accept and believe, whether it is true or false, good or bad.

Dr. Helmstetter explains that there are five levels of self-talk. Each will be explained in my own words below.

1. The Level of Negative Acceptance

This level consists of statements that start with “I can’t…” “I wish I could…” “I don’t…” and “I’m too…” just to name a few. People say things like “I can’t remember names” because maybe they had one bad experience and forgot someone’s name. They say it constantly because they believe it, but they believe it because they say it constantly. Even if they did want to be good at remembering names, this change would not happen instantly.

When you keep feeding your brain negative directions (“Robine, keep forgetting names since you can’t remember them”) it will follow them indefinitely. That’s why Dr. Helmstetter says this level of self-talk “is the lowest, least beneficial level” that “cripples our best intentions and seduces us into becoming satisfied with mediocrity.”

2. The Level of Recognition–and Need to Change

“I need to…” “I ought to” and “I should” are examples of ways to start a Level 2 self-talk statement. They may sound useful because we all know that recognizing a problem is the first crucial step in solving it. However, they still fall flat because, on their own, they will not push you to find that solution. The truth is that a statement like “I really should start my homework” is an incomplete thought; it is often followed by an unspoken “but” that connects it back to level 1 self-talk: “…but I can’t focus (or I’m too lazy).”    

3. The Level of Decision to Change

This is the level where positivity starts to get a foothold. It consists of phrases that begin with “I never…” and “I no longer…” When I first read this section, I found this level particularly interesting because of its usefulness in breaking bad habits, but I thought to myself, doesn’t it seem weird to say I never do something, if I’m still currently doing it? That’s where the question of honesty comes in for me. But again, the brain will accept what it’s told frequently enough, whether it’s true or false, good or bad.

Using an example from the book, if you are trying to quit smoking, saying “I never smoke” every time you light a cigarette is not necessarily lying; it is better to see it as wilfully reprogramming your brain so that you believe it and eventually act it out. I like the idea of speaking as if the goal you want has already been accomplished; the past has a sense of certainty to it.

4. The Level of the Better You

Dr. Helmstetter describes this as “the most effective kind of self-talk we can ever use.” Phrases in this level start with “I am” and end with whatever positive thing you would like to be. If you’re like me, this one might feel uncomfortable at first because you probably aren’t used to it; you might even feel guilty, since it seems too much like boasting or conceit. Fortunately, it’s not. It is simply a matter of telling your brain what you want to be, as if it already is the case. Try saying out loud “I am organized. I always get my assignments done on time. I have great memory.” These instructions to your brain are way more conducive to success than “I can’t stay organized. I wish I could get my assignments done on time. I just can’t remember anything.”

5. The Level of Universal Affirmation   

The statements in this level begin with “it is.” Dr. Helmstetter doesn’t explain it too much, but he says that this includes “spiritually oriented affirmations.” These affirmations “speak of a divine affinity of being that transcends our earthly life and gives greater meaning to our existence.” They have been used in ancient religions and may resemble a statement such as “I am one with the universe and it is one with me.”

Getting Started

Dr. Helmstetter recommends replacing levels 1 and 2 with self-talk from levels 3 and 4, as soon as possible. You don’t have to read the whole book to start testing it out. Just know that it takes time and effort to peel back up to years of faulty or undesirable mental programming, in order to replace it with new, positive, healthy programming.

In order to put it to practice right away, here is my personal example of a self-talk program I would like for myself:

I no longer procrastinate. I am organized and focused. I get tasks done on time and I enjoy doing so. I never run away from my responsibilities. When challenges arise, I do whatever it takes to overcome them. I’m positive, enthusiastic, optimistic, and joyful no matter what the circumstances.  I am a winner.

All of this information can be found in “Chapter Nine: The Five Levels of Self-Talk” in the book. I hope you found this article helpful, and feel free to leave a reply about what you thought.

Special thanks to Angel again for recommending this book to me.cover of the book What to Say When You Talk to Your Self

The Art of Flirting

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By Robine Jean-Pierre

Have you ever stopped to think that flirting is just a form of communication? It is basically behavior that conveys a specific message: either “I’m attracted to you,” “I want you to be attracted to me,” or both. Some people are very intentional with it, while others don’t even know they’re doing it; some are successful, some are not. Being in a committed relationship has increased my interest in what I’d like to call “flirting etiquette.”

From Cooties to Catcalls

To start, it’s interesting to note that the style of flirting seems to change with age. Generally speaking, as children we were taught that if someone teased you, it meant they had a crush on you; Billy sticking out his tongue and calling Sally names were his way of hiding his true affections. As we get older, it seems a more direct approach is usually favored. Traditionally, if a guy is interested in a girl, he has to “make a move” and present himself to her. It is then the girl’s decision to accept or decline the offer.

Got Those Moves?

So what are those moves? Is there a code or a system? Can it be taught? I’ll let you answer those questions yourself, but I figure that just as there are five love languages, there are probably five broad categories in which people flirt. Someone might try to give you a lot of gifts or buy you things (receiving gifts); go out of their way to do kind gestures (acts of service); compliment you frequently (words of affirmation); give you long hugs or pats on the back (physical touch); or spend as much time with you as possible, either in person or on the phone (quality time). Someone who’s really ambitious would probably do a mix of all five. (If you’re interested, see my previous post about Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages.)

When it came to my fiancé Angel, he hit heavy with words of affirmation. Early in our friendship, the compliments were non-stop. He often texted me things like “I’ve never met a girl as cool as you” and “you’re really an amazing person.” I couldn’t tell if he was just being friendly or if he was flirting; but either way, it started to bother me, so I kindly asked him to stop. (I was really hard to get; I had my reasons.)  So that brings me to the next topic: is it flirting if it’s not being done on purpose? What if that person is just being “nice”?

Oops, I Did It Again

Sometimes your words and actions are misinterpreted (which I talk about in my previous post titled “What Do You Mean?”). During this early stage in our friendship, Angel may not have thought he was flirting, but I definitely took it that way. (In the same way, I may not have thought I was flirting when I gave him bear hugs every time I saw him–but he subconsciously took it that way.) I believe anyone who receives questionable affection has the right to confront the giver of it. The world of romance can be mysterious and elusive, which is what some people enjoy about it; but there’s nothing wrong with asking someone outright, “Do you like me?” and having a mature conversation about it, whether the answer is yes or no (or “it’s complicated”).

I Want You to Want Me

In our case, Angel and I did actually like each other, even if it took time to acknowledge and develop. However, that leads us to another question: is it OK to flirt with someone whom you have no intention of actually pursuing? Again, I’ll let you answer that one; I can only speak for myself.

Some may consider flirting to be harmless fun. It brings pleasure knowing that someone wants you, even if you don’t actually want them; flirting is a way to test the waters, to see if you could get that person to want you.

However, in my opinion, doing this could cause undesirable conflicts. Flirting with other people especially if you’re already in a relationship can lead to jealousy, insecurity, and at the most extreme side, cheating. It can be just as risky if you’re single. It makes me think of a line from Michael Jackson’s song “Billie Jean”: “Be careful what you do, and don’t go around breaking young girls’ hearts.” It’s easy to frustrate and hurt people if you play with their emotions through flirting. And unless you enjoy that, why do it?

The Feeling Is Mutual

Relationships are all about reciprocity. Most of us enter one expecting each party to contribute in some way. At the very least, we desire a mutual physical attraction for one another. Unrequited love is perhaps one of the greatest sources of discontent. No one wants to like someone who will never like them back; if they could eliminate the desire, they would. This must be why we are more likely to become interested in someone who appears to be interested in us, even if we were not initially attracted to them.

A Penny For Your Thoughts

I’m sure I could say a lot more on this topic, but I’ll leave it here. What are your thoughts on flirting? How would you respond to any of the questions I mentioned above? Feel free to leave a reply below.

Learning to Say No to Good Things

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“During the first eighteen years of our lives, if we grew up in fairly average, reasonably positive homes, we were told ‘No’ or what we could not do, or what would not work, more than 148,000 times,” Dr. Shad Helmstetter states in his book, What to Say When You Talk to Yourself.  

If this is true, I figure saying no is not that hard for most people. However, I have said my fair share of no’s to myself, friends and family, but I realize that in certain cases, it’s quite challenging to say it. I don’t mean that I’m a pushover or susceptible to peer pressure, even though I will admit that sometimes I struggle with desiring to please everyone; what I mean is I have trouble turning down opportunities, even when it is very necessary to turn them down. 

Rapper Lil Jon and a caption that reads "turn down for what?"

from QuickMeme

I’ve had a terrible habit of biting off more than I can chew, grabbing at nearly every positive opportunity that has come my way. My reasoning is this: my school and home life combined are very stressful, and I get tired of having to do what I don’t really want to do. In order to counteract the negative, I go to the other extreme and jam-pack my schedule with positive. I engage in events that I know will benefit me, even if the benefit is simply a good mood.

The problem is that this behavior has often compromised my other responsibilities. A lot of times I’ve had lunch with good friends when I could have been doing homework, or I’ve gone to a social gathering on a night that could have been spent relaxing and reflecting alone at home. After all, who wants to do homework? And who wants to be alone?

It’s very hard to say no to good things, because, let’s face it: they’re good things! Sadly, there is such a thing as too much good. My friend Cassandra loves to use this analogy: cancer in the simplest sense is an abnormal reproduction of cells. Cellular reproduction is necessary for our survival, but when there are too many cells, it can be harmful.

While I have been aware of all of this for quite some time, last week was the breaking point that forced me to stop thinking it and start doing it. Having a super busy schedule that did not account for legitimate, intentional rest (aside from sleep) meant that the little time I had leftover was spent with Angel, and my “leftovers” are not pretty at all; I was burned out, could barely muster up a smile, and at any given moment I was ready to either break something, scream, or burst into tears (the most common, less violent option) from sheer exhaustion and overwhelming stress. I realized that I could not keep treating him, or myself, like this.

Practicing saying no will not be easy, but I know it will pay off in the long run, and that I must start now if I want my situation to change as soon as possible. I believe setting boundaries is the only way you can enjoy and protect true freedom. It will require the guts to temporarily disappoint friends, family, Angel, and myself; but delayed gratification is more worthwhile and long-lasting than instant gratification. My future self will thank me.

What Do You Mean?

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By Robine Jean-Pierre

a colorful abstract painting

“Composition VII” by Wassily Kandinsky. 1913. Oil on canvas. 78.7 × 118.1″ (200.0 × 300.0 cm). Moscow, Russia. The State Tretyakov Gallery.

You see an abstract painting on the wall in a museum. The seemingly random assortment of swirls, shapes and colors leaves you puzzled and intrigued. One onlooker says it reminds her of a sinking ship. Another comes along and says it must be a garden. A small inscription on the wall indicates that the painter wanted to illustrate a busy city street. Who is right?

I like to think that every form of communication consists of at least two aspects: intention (what the speaker wants to convey) and reception (how the listener interprets it). I use speaker and listener as general terms, but the pair could also be artist and viewer, author and reader, etc. In an ideal world, intention and reception would always be equal; the speaker would give a message, and the listener would understand exactly what the speaker meant. However, very rarely does it work this way in the real world. Too often, the speaker says one thing but the listener takes it to mean something completely different. It is like a constant tug of war between the two aspects; sometimes intention holds more weight, and other times reception is more significant.

Intention Matters

I believe there are times when what the speaker has to say is way more important than anyone’s interpretation. For example, art can very subjective because of its connection to the emotions, and its ability to disguise meaning in symbols and metaphors. However, art can also be very concrete. A sculpture of a fruit basket can simply be a representation of a fruit basket. An engraving of a monarch created during his reign can have very specific references, styles, or symbols pertaining to that particular time period, nation, etc. Many of these references would be meaningless without the proper context.

For another example, take one of William Shakespeare’s works. Many of the words he used have very different meanings today; the “nothing” in his comedy titled Much Ado About Nothing was, among several meanings, slang for “lady parts” (see “Double Entendre & Innuendo in Much Ado About Nothing” on Study.com for more). What use would it be for today’s readers to read his works and give them blind modern interpretations? Without context, we would never get at what he was really saying and we would miss out on the genius behind much of his work.

Reception Matters

On the flip side, there are also times when the way a message is taken by the receiver can take precedence over what the sender meant. This is the case especially when it comes to social interactions. Our ideas of what is proper, preferred, or offensive are heavily dictated by our culture and personal experiences. Since this varies from person to person, it can be very easy for misinterpretations to arise.

Let’s say Jack often tells Jill, “You’re one of the nicest people I’ve ever met,” and Jill takes it to mean, “I have feelings for you.” Jill might get excited at the thought of Jack wanting to be romantically involved; or, she might get offended that Jack appears to be hitting on her when she’s already in a committed relationship. Jack’s intentions may have simply been to be kind to Jill, but he did not consider that, for Jill, receiving frequent compliments from a guy must mean he’s interested in her.

In situations like these, “good intentions” are not necessarily enough. The listener has the right to present her interpretation to the speaker, even if she was totally off the mark. The speaker could then reevaluate what he said and consider taking some responsibility, even if he “didn’t mean it like that,” in order to restore peace or clear the air. Sure, there are people out there who are hypersensitive and get offended too easily, no matter how careful you are in expressing yourself. Nonetheless, it’s usually safer to address people with an attitude that says “if one of us was wrong, it was probably me; how can I fix this?”

I believe that the key to making sure intention and reception agree with one another is to get feedback. Switch up listener and speaker roles often; if they are constant, then you may have to ask yourself, “Is this a dialogue or a monologue? Are we having a conversation, or  a lecture?” After someone has said something to you, there is nothing wrong with replying, “So what you’re basically saying is…?” and reiterating what you believe the message was. Another option is to ask your listener, “So what do you think of what I just said? Does it make sense? How do you feel about it?” Think of all the arguments, misunderstandings, and mistakes that could be prevented if we just took the extra time to get and give feedback.

Have you ever said something that someone took the wrong way, or vice versa? How was the misunderstanding resolved? What are some ways you practice giving or getting feedback?

Unity in Diversity

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By Robine Jean-Pierre

During spring break, I went on a three day “unity retreat” in Pennsylvania through an organization called Seekers Christian Fellowships. I am currently the president of the Seekers club here at City Tech, so I definitely made it a priority to be there and represent. It was an amazing experience and I wish I could have spent the whole week there!

One of the purposes of this event was to assemble high school and college students from various Seekers-affiliated schools so they could make new friends and explore their faith together. We would be unified through relationships that transcended differences in age, gender, background, and career path.

The strong cultural diversity apparent on the retreat was quite remarkable. We had students and staff with ethnic backgrounds representing India, Sri Lanka, Korea, Jamaica, Haiti, Colombia, Puerto Rico, the Dominican Republic, Guatemala, Uganda, and more.

At any given moment, one of us was cracking a racially/culturally fueled joke that was borderline inappropriate (if not for the fact that people mostly joked about their own respective cultures, not really anyone else’s). From memory, here are a few examples of the intriguing, humorous statements I heard:
“It would be disappointing if we met Hispanic people who weren’t loud.”
“Indians are even louder! Have you ever been to an Indian party?”
“Look. I’m Hispanic and I’m crazy, so…”
“I’m Korean. Waking up early is easy for me.”
“He’s not even real Indian–he’s Sri Lankan.”

A Seekers friend of ours had even remarked once that our Korean and Ugandan staff members reminded him of Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker, respectively; when I told one of them this joke during the retreat, he was deeply amused.

Sometimes the boundaries were almost crossed when people of different ethnic backgrounds tried to mimic each other’s accents, but if the person did a good job, it was praised; if not, you could feel the awkwardness which quickly dissipated in laughter.

More serious, personal comments also provoked cultural awareness in some way. For example, our Korean staff member told us about how his dad was so strict that if he came home with a 98 on an assignment, he would be very disappointed and ask, “Where are the other two points?” He also mentioned the fact that he was the first Asian person his acquaintance from the Midwest had ever met in the flesh (as opposed to on TV). Our Colombian director explained that a lot of people thought she was white when she wasn’t, yet she had siblings whose complexions were every color of the rainbow. One college student opened up about how Indian parents tended to be loving but also fiercely overprotective.

Although not every ethnicity was represented on the retreat, I was grateful to be exposed to so many different cultures and learn more through both lighthearted and serious conversation. Being able to understand and relate to other cultures can be so helpful in promoting peace and unity, starting with the interactions of just two people. As Seekers members, this is especially crucial to our common Christian belief that God loves everyone (not just specific people groups) and wants us to do the same.

Women Empowerment in “The Final Reel”

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by Robine Jean-Pierre

an unraveling reel of film

courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Last week, City Tech put on a play called “The Final Reel,” directed by Mark Lonergan and produced by Parallel Exit, in the Voorhees Theater. I was personally invested in the show, since our professor, John Huntington, had us participate in the load-in and other technical aspects of pre-production. We helped out in both my Technical Production and Sound Systems classes. I heard a lot of good about it but had no idea what to expect.

Here is the blurb from the City Tech Theatreworks website:
“The Final Reel is inspired by the iconic films Sherlock Jr and The purple Rose of Cairo. An eccentric historian discovers the holy grail of silent films: the final reel of a forgotten classic thought to be lost to history. As he presents the film for the first time in a hundred years, his bumbling assistant accidentally steps into the movie and falls in love with the heroine. The two-love birds step back into the modern world and the heroine is left to make a fateful decision – one that changes every night of performance with the help of the audience.”

Watching the rehearsal that afternoon, hours before opening night, was definitely a rewarding experience. I was fascinated by the technological creativity, the excellent acting, and the hilarious plot, with humor reminiscent of classic shows like Tom and Jerry. To top it all, what I did not expect was a deeper underlying theme that unearthed itself toward the end: women empowerment.

Perhaps what no one is expecting is that this aforementioned heroine happens to be the real Penny, the actress and playwright straight out of the film from one hundred years ago! She explains that it had all been a part of her plan to escape her own era, and “time travel” to one in which women would finally be recognized for their full potential and talent. It worked and now, here she is, in New York in 2018, where that dream could finally come true.

The “bumbling assistant” mentioned in the blurb earlier introduces her to the crowd (us in the audience), to which she feistily replies, more or less, “I don’t need an introduction, bucko. I can introduce myself, thank you very much.” It is hilarious and somewhat gratifying to realize just how bold, loud and sassy she is in real life–especially after having observed her charming, gentle and submissive demeanor when she was still in the silent film. Her “true colors” certainly were not expected of a woman during her time.

She explains that, as an actress and playwright, she had been marginalized and objectified by the men of her day. She was often treated like a doll rather than a dignified professional. Now she has the authority to write her own plays, act her own character, and fully put her talent to use, without any glass ceilings over her head. And her love interest will be her assistant, waiting on and submitting to her (willingly) rather than the other way around. The Voorhees Theater would not have to be closed after all.

I appreciate the fact that, although the play was quite lighthearted and comical, it presented us with a talented and intelligent woman who took herself seriously and earned everyone’s respect. And what better time to put this play on than in March? Happy Women’s History Month!

S.O.S.

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By Robine Jean-Pierre

Do you ever feel like you have no one to talk to? That even if someone were there to listen, they just wouldn’t understand?

I have been haunted by this loneliness from time to time, but I know deep down that there is no such thing as “no one to talk to.” It just takes way more effort to reach out to someone than to stay to myself and sulk.

This semester has been getting progressively more difficult. During the past week in particular, I realized that I was operating in “burn-out” mode. My days started early and ended late; I did not sleep as much as I would have liked; assignments were sneaking up on me and piling up. As a result, I was very physically, emotionally and mentally drained.

Who could I reach out to? Although I had so many friends and family around me, it felt as if talking to them would be futile. They all had problems of their own–why sadden them with my sob-stories? And even if they were willing, could they really afford to stop and listen to me? After my bad attitude had ruined one of our evenings together, it became clear to me that even my own fiancé, Angel, could handle only so much of my mess. I spitefully considered never opening up to anyone again–but then, who would that hurt more: me or them?

Fortunately, taking initiative would not have to be my responsibility all the time. My high school friend Erie texted me the other night, just to check up on me. I opened up to her, explaining how alone I felt. I even mentioned that I was considering going to therapy. Her responses were considerate and attentive. She gently chided me for not talking to her about it sooner. Our conversation really alleviated some of my distress.

Two days later, initiating a face-to-face talk with my long-time friend Cassandra was also very helpful. She and I have very similar upbringings and personalities, so she has been like a big sister to me for most of my life. She understood my rambling and personally identified with my conflicts.

People are not perfect, needless to say; even your confidants might miss your call, or misinterpret what you are attempting to express at first. Yet, once they are ready, they are all ears and all heart. They are quick to listen and give you time to breathe before offering their advice.

I am so grateful for all the people who have helped me overcome personal struggles, including family, teachers, friends, and Angel. One single person may not have been available all the time, but collectively, they have generously offered support, wisdom, counsel and love.

The next time I am tempted to shut down and cut myself off from others during a crisis, I will remember that communicating will only help me in the long run, even if it is painful. There is nothing strong about simply hiding weakness; strength is courageously making yourself vulnerable, knowing that none of us can handle this life alone.

Who do you run to when you are in a crisis? Is opening up about personal struggles a challenge for you? Why or why not?

Learning the Ropes: Communication in the Entertainment Industry

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by Robine Jean-Pierre

I am majoring in Entertainment Technology here at City Tech, and I have spent the last three years getting to know the entertainment industry. I have remarked that it takes a team to put on any production or performance; there’s hardly such a thing as a “one man show.” Think about the credits at the end of a movie; all of those names represent someone who contributed in some way, whether as an actor or a makeup artist.

Because it takes a team of people who specialize in different fields, all working together to make one big project come alive, communication is very valuable to this industry. My major requires me to take four semesters of Technical Production, a course that allows me to experience what it’s like to work on a real crew and put on real productions in our school. This is the class where I have learned most of the communication norms and standards we use on site.

Danger!

Being in the entertainment industry can actually be dangerous. We are often dealing with ladders, heavy objects hanging in the air, electricity, and power tools, just to name a few things. The primary need for effective communication is to protect everyone’s health and safety.

For example, above the stage area of the Voorhees Theater hang two long, lattice-like structures called trusses. These trusses are attached to motors which enable them to be raised toward the ceiling or lowered all the way to the ground. They are used to hang lights or other equipment. Since the trusses are huge and the motors are very powerful, the person operating the motors typically alerts everyone in the vicinity by saying in a loud and clear voice, “We’re going to be lowering (or raising) the truss.” That would be the cue for everyone else to move out of the way. (Generally, the other crew members shout back “thank you” as a courteous gesture.)

Moving Heavy Objects as a Team

the Yamaha PM5D mixing console on a stand

courtesy of SoundBroker.com

Sometimes it takes four or five people just to move one piece of scenery or equipment. Take the huge Yamaha PM5D sound mixing console, for instance. Just opening up its protective road case and lifting it up and out onto a table can take five minutes. Our professors, Erica Stoltz and John Huntington, kept repeating to us that before we did anything, someone had to take initiative to be the leader, announce the method of lifting/moving, and then count it out (“on three… one, two, three”).

One method we often use (perhaps unofficially called “up and over”) means lifting an object straight up and then sliding it over horizontally to its desired location. It’s important to first state the method and also count it out because if everyone is in sync, the job will be accomplished more smoothly, but most importantly, the chances of someone getting hurt will be reduced.

Ask for Help

One thing I have appreciated about the professors in the Entertainment Technology department is that, for the most part, they do not believe in “dumb questions.” Many of them are accomplished technicians with loads of experience and knowledge; as intimidating as they might at first seem, they are not shy about sharing it. In my Technical Production Skills and Health and Safety courses, we were constantly reminded to ask for help if we needed it. It is way safer to consult the teacher or a fellow classmate on how to use a radial arm saw, than to just wing it and risk losing a finger!

What are some other industries or disciplines you can think of in which communication is crucial? Do you feel as if communication is very significant in your major? How so?

Do You Speak Sarcasm?

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by Robine Jean-Pierre

Growing up, sarcasm was practically my native tongue. I spoke it most fluently with my siblings. It was something we naturally did to mess with each other, without giving it much thought. I can hear my older brother and sister saying mockingly, “Nooooo…. Really?” in response to what they deemed was an obvious, redundant statement on our part.

As I got older, however, I gradually decided to minimize my use of sarcasm. I felt that I was being unnecessarily condescending and rude by primarily using sarcasm to mock my younger sister and cousin. It had gotten so bad that when I did stop, they had to keep asking me, “Are you being serious or sarcastic?”

Another factor in my decision to reduce, if not altogether eliminate, my sarcastic comments was the fact that “sarcasm is not universal.” (While it can be argued that the use of sarcasm actually is universal, its uses may vary from culture to culture. If you are interested in more, see this LanguageLog post on irony and sarcasm.) This phrase was repeated at Camp Rising Sun all summer, which I attended during high school. The camp consisted of about 60 girls from all over the world, so it was a potpourri of cultures, interests, and preferences. Many of the international girls were uncomfortable with a New Jersey camper whose sarcastic comments they took literally, not knowing any better.

A similar awkwardness initially infringed on our friendship when I had realized that my fiancé, Angel, did not fully understand sarcasm. I’ll admit, the discovery was a little disappointing; I would not be able to tease him (or subtly express an offense) in the way I best knew how. In spite of this, it still slipped out with him sometimes, especially when I had a bad day. For instance, if I said something like, “Wow, I overslept and the trains are running with delays. Isn’t that just wonderful?” rather than scoffing with me, Angel would nervously reply, “No, that’s not wonderful, honey…” and try to lighten the mood.

On another occasion, Angel had been texting me all about how an event had gone that morning, and how happy and “fired up” all of the attendees had been. I, on the other hand, had not been there and was waiting impatiently to tell him how I was doing. Feeling peevish and “salty” (as they say nowadays), I texted him, “My morning was great too, thanks for asking.” As you can imagine, he was not very happy about this, and I told him what was on my heart. I realized then that, in most cases, it would suffice to be straightforward and honest, not passive-aggressive.

Now I save sarcasm for the situations that would least likely cause offense. I crack sarcastic jokes on the MTA all the time, and even Angel chimes in now and then. (He’s learning!) I still say “oh, great” or “that’s nice” at times when I literally mean “this is awful.” And naturally, I am more likely to use sarcasm with people who also use it, so that there is a mutual understanding (which is the key to all communication!).

How do you feel about sarcasm? Do you use it or understand it? Why or why not, and when? Please feel free to share your thoughts below.