October 5, 2015,
I’ve been looking for any prospective internships while redoing my print portfolio, by this point I pretty much left my website portfolio to the side for a later date. In the back of my mind it’s coming well, deconstructing my old assignments and seeing how I did them. At times I would stop and look at the original and then the reconstruction realizing I finished much faster than when I first did it. Was it because I had learned what to do from my previous experiences? Or that it took me less time simply because I knew what I was going to do? Honestly, it was both, 30% experience and 70% knowing what to do. Anytime I received a project on a certain brand it would take me weeks to figure out what I wanted to do.

The first week I would spend researching a little, gathering symbols and at whatnot to get the sense of the company. The second week I would throw all of that in the garbage (figuratively speaking) and just look up tutorials for cool effects and just do them, just to see which one I liked. By the end of the second week, I didn’t care too much about the previous day’s work and that too would be in the garbage. By then I had some inkling of what it was that I wanted to convey, and it was then I started my work. I would like to say this has changed, but it hasn’t. It has always taken me a long time to figure out what I wanted to do. Only once did I have an idea that I liked that I ran with and even then I spent some time being intimidated by the blank Photoshop file. Did that mean I hated critiques? No, personally I was never afraid of critiques as a matter of fact, I welcomed them. Mostly because I never really had a project that I liked beyond reason.

Which raises the question, was there ever a project that I loved doing? The answer to that is a resounding no.