Get Your Head Out Your Butt and Put It High

a woman of color wearing a shawl and purple booties

Are you, or someone you know, insecure? Do you, or someone you know, feel most happy when all attention is on you? Do you, or someone you know, seek to discredit others and their relationship to find self-worth? If you answered yes to any of the previous statements then I have unprofessionally diagnosed you with low self-esteem and you need to seek therapy or start to love yourself a bit more.

I am unsure who is to blame for the lack of self-love that I come across on individuals. Is it the parents, whether neglectful or having enabling characters? Is it the individual, their lack of experiences or stubbornness to change? Either way IT DOES NOT MATTER. As a person, one must “find” themselves eventually. With finding oneself one shall LOVE ONESELF. I do not mean latching on a group, drowning in music, or seeking religion just to make yourself feel better or to find an excuse for your F’d up ways.

Unfortunately, I do not have a concrete answer. Heck, life isn’t concrete! But I do wish to bring awareness to the lack of self-love and bitterness that is within people. These same people carry hatred in their hearts and make it spread like wildfire, which inevitably cause things like war, slavery, provocative youth, suicide etc.  I am no genius but I am pretty sure hate and Donald Trump supporters are directly proportional. And for a little laugh, I dare you guys to go to Loser.com .


QUESTIONS TO THE AUDIENCE: Do you agree or disagree? Why/Why not?

Timing is Everything – 5 Steps To Be On Time

You are told that unless you arrive at a location by 6:00 am on the dot, and not a minute more, your favorite person will be slaughtered. You arrive at 6:01 running in to find a pool of blood and no one in sight. Is it your fault?a pool of blood on a wood floorimage credit

I know the scenario is dramatic, but timing can be sensitive. I’ve had my times where I double booked, cut things close, or arrived late due to outside sources. How ever, I still consider it my fault. Maybe blogging can help me outline some problems. There must be a way to assure timing. Let’s see…

  1. When setting appointments make room for any occurrences. You never know if the train will mess up, which usually happens because the universe is messing with you for not being prepared.
  2. Yes, being prepared will definitely aid to timing. Days before figure out your route and possible complications, know your attire, set out prepped clothing, add the appointment to your agenda, and what ever else.
  3. Maybe it’s timing on when telling someone something, like a giving a heads up to your life partner about coming home late or going out. If that’s the case don’t wait till the last-minute or after the event happens. This will cause the other person to feel duped or unimportant. This also goes for being a no-show at work or school.
  4. When you have little time and a group project must get done, for example two cousins preparing for an event, remembering TEAM WORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK. Having someone to help means you can be two places at ones and divide tasks. Looking back on a recent event, while Indiyah, my sister-cousin, was getting her makeup done I could have gotten the shoes to save time.
  5. And always understand “Early is on time and on time is late.” A saying I learned while in my NEW training. Which means, if you have to be somewhere at 6:00 am, act like you really have to be there 5:45 or earlier. Sometimes I trick myself when setting appointments and alarms by putting an earlier time.

QUESTIONS TO THE AUDIENCE: how do you stay on time/ early? | How does it make you feel when someone tell you news in an untimely fashion? | As an employer how do you feel about lateness and absences?

I post every Monday. In the meantime check out these post:

5 Steps to Start A Business 

7 Steps to Run a Marathon 

8 Steps Towards a Happy Life

Anything You Want OR Need … for FREE!!

What is something you want to do or have? Did you know you can get it free, especially when you are motivated and put in the research for it. For example, Have you ever walked into a food court of the mall and was offered cinnabon’s sugar donuts, or asian cuisine on a stick? Not only can you get free food but you can request samples from those mall restaurants. At the end of your “food court smorgasbord” you may have a fulfilling snack. Well, that is similar to just about anything you can think of.

colored letters that spell "FREE"

Here’s How:

  1. Events & Activities: You can get free tickets to movies, preescreenings, fashion shows, fundraisers, community events, and celebrities events on sites like EventBrite. And of course many events have goodie bags of freebies. Try looking in Timeout NYC, searching for free concerts in the parks and beaches, download “local” themed apps on your phone, visit Meetup.com hobbies and networking events. Get on tv by searching casting companies like OnSetProductions.
  2. Knowledge Training / Experience: Ask those you know for advice. You can ask companies to volunteer or go on VolunteerMatch. Of course Youtube helps, but there are also sites that allow you to bartering services. Look in the news papers where most jobs offer free training on the condition that you work with them for a time period. I love the DIYnetwork and places, like HomeDepot, that offer free classes.
  3. Food / Clothes: Besides growing a garden and sewing your own clothes, there are organizations and churches that provide free food and clothing. You can even inquire on 311 (for those in NY) for help or on your governments’ website
  4. Shelter Companies like Habitat for Humanity help you own a home as long as you volunteer some labor, but there are other non profits and private funded organizations that provide shelters, rooms, help with mortgage, rent assistance, and utilities (i.e.: heap. There are even grants for new home owners are being energy efficient.
  5. Money Who doesn’t love free money! Apply for government grants, signup with crowdfunding websites, ask those you know, and/or apply for scholarships.
  6. Childcare – Most schools are free, even some pre kindergarten are with programs like Head Start. Some schools and jobs have daycares, just ask. If not contact you local government assistance providers.
  7. Insurance: Contact non-profits, private organization or your government website.
  8. Entertainment Services: There are companies like Vive Entertainment Enterprises LLC or non profits like BRIC Arts Media. You can also find people by looking up hashtags, posting and messaging on sites like Model Mayhem, craigslist, Instagram, and Facebook.
  9. Business Help: Organizations like SBDC at New York City College of Technology, Small Business Association, NYC Business Solutions, NELP (lawyers), and government websites will help small business and entrepreneurs. Go on sites like idealist.org or businessmentor.org to find volunteers and help. The best thing to do is network.
  10. Freebies & Goodies For cosmetics, accessories, cleaning products, and the random, there are nonprofits or organizations that are the middle man like Freecycle. Some places provide free toiletries, others sites give away based on their sponsors.  Hey you might get free stuff for being a loyal customer, like a sephora. where you can also get free samples of cosmetics when ever you want and bigger samples with purchases. There are even sites like Beautystat, and you tubers who have contest and giveaways for their subscribers.

If your need or want isn’t listed here, some of the same sites may still help you. If not, googling the service you need and adding the word free at the end, by putting up post on social media and inquiring with those you know.

Now that you know how to find free necessities and wants, try it for yourself. Get your freebies and tell me all about it.

DISCLAIMER: I am not being paid to share this data or information. Everything is my opinion and I do not take responsibility for what you may encounter during your search.


QUESTIONS TO THE READERS: How do you get freebies? | Have you tried any of the methods? Did it work? | Has anyone got a free iPad or electronic by participating in offers? | Was this information helpful?

8 Steps Towards a HAPPIER Life

Be Thankful: Whether you are stuck in a rut or basking in the ambiance of success, you should practice thankfulness. Not being content with something is okay, obviously we must progress in life. However, amongst whatever seems to be going around you, take time to thank your creator or fate or what/whomever you believe caused you to be where you are today. Let’s not forget to thank yourself for breaking through strides, gaining wisdom, and having the strength you’ve acquired along the way.

Have Me-Time: Somone meditate and can someone say “Woo-Sah”. Maybe it has been a long day of progress or a day of caos, either way take at least 15 minutes to yourself and reflect on the day, your situation, your goals, and the world around you. Being spiritual or not, meditation is a great way to remain calm and at peace. Use that time to gain clarity, overcome a creative block, and realize your future endeavors.

SMILE: Like Duh! Smiling is a way to show you are happy but when you laugh, or perceive to be laughing, it triggers “happy” chemicals in your body. Your body will become so used to it, that you will crave happiness and become addicted. Watch comedies and be silly. Just smile and laugh. Caution: people will think you are crazy. j/k … or not.

Just Say NO: Saying “no” seems to be such an easy task. Many people struggle with saying “no” to things that really do not want to do, to things they have no time for, to places that they hate being around and to tasks they dislike to do. Saying “yes” to something you wouldn’t put your effort into is a waste of time. You will dread every moment and procrastinate. IF you do end up completing the tasks it’s half a.. job. IJS. If you were to say “no” that will be a much heavier weight off your shoulders. Do things that makes you happy or you are comfortable doing.

Have Goals:  For those of you in the clouds, there is this thing called having a goal. A goal is something you want, hope, and/or will accomplish. You can over come said goal in the near future or within a longer time frame. It’s great to section the off by short, medium or long term and put a timer on yourself. Create goals and take steps to accomplish them. Keep track of progress and check off once complete. Make steps to complete each goal in whatever order you wish. Write them down and revisit or constantly to remind you of your place towards them. The magic in manifestation is YOU.

Treaty Yourself: … for good behavior no matter how small the accomplishment. Now that you are accomplishing goals, treat yourself. Or shout “Yes, I did it”. Condition yourself to yearning happiness and success. When you get a promotion or even cook a tasty meal reward yourself in what ever way you see fit. For example, Tweet: I just wrote a blog #GOme

Think Happy and Be Happy: It’s not rocket science. Think about ice cream or fun childhood memories. Think about the date you had on the weekend or those awesome shoes you just brought. Don’t take time dwelling on any negativity in or around your life.

Give Back: To some this maybe a hassle, maybe why they are miserable. Lol. But when you help others, not expecting something in return, you will feel great about yourself and in general. How about volunteering at a school, hospital, local walk for a cause. Give back on crowd funding sites. Teach a skill to someone interested. Revisit people in your life and ask if they need help with anything help those not as privileged. Don’t litter. Be social responsible.


QUESTIONS TO THE READERS: How do you remian happy? | How do you cheer yourself up?

 

The Hot Wings of Willoughby

The Most-Made-Dish-for-Events award goes to….. HOT WINGS

     ♫ [Wings] [wings], their good for the heart…The more you eat, the more…  ♪ 

… If not, at least, they will make you happy.

I eat hot wings at least once a week, regardless of the after affects. : ) Besides home cooking, I’ve tried the spicy poultry meat from various restaurants, groceries stores, and pop-up-shops. However, today we will analyze the different hot wing dishes that can be found in a small sector, Downtown Brooklyn on Willoughby Street and Jay Street, right down the block from our home at City Tech. (Disclaimer: I am not advertising for any one, just giving you my thoughts and a simple DIY recipe. I have also took all images featured in the post)

the outside of a wings restaurant

Buffalo Boss Organic Wings & Things usually has long lines of people waiting for their orders. This is its second location Downtown Brooklyn, originally it sat on Fulton Street and Flatbush Ext.  I tried it a few weeks ago for the first time at this new location on Willoughby and Jay St. The service wasn’t the best. They are known for their wings and they have a lot of sides, including sweat potato fries. I was allowed to choose from variety of sauce types. When I was also told I had to pay for dipping sauce, I was turned off and I didn’t buy the ranch. I decided to get rice, hot wings, and a drink, which totaled about $7.  The 5 spicy wings, served in a small black styrofoam, tasted okay. They were fried hard and dipped in hot sauce. I remembered a better tasting experience before.

the outside of a restaurant

Yummy Taco always come through with my craving for asian-mexican-american dishes. (laugh) They, also, usually have long lines and hit-or-miss service during lunch time. Thankfully I got there early. Their $6 wings (8) and fries really filled me. The wings were fried slightly hard with a hint of spice. wings with French friesIt may have been more then a hint, considering the nose drool.

the outside of a restaurant

Super Taco is another great asian-mexican-american spot. I frequent there as well when Yummy Taco lines are long. The wings there were about $6 and came with celery. The taste seemed strikingly familiar, it seemed they have shared the recipe with Yummy Taco. 😉

the outside of a restaurant

The Dining Room seemed to be a whole in the wall. I must have passed it several times before realizing it was there. It is a restaurant/bar. Inside is usually quite unless there is a group of friends that comes on their lunch break. You can sit at the bar or tables. I sat at the bar. I order wings, water, and fries, which totaled 9.80. The 8 wings was boiled, fried lightly and soaked in mild hot wing sauce, my choice of sauce type. It came with vegetables as well. The wings had so much meat on it and more juicy compared to the other places. wings and friesa cooked chicken wingMaybe thats the reason it costs more. It was like no experience I have ever had, I revisited two more times.

the outside of a restaurant

The 99¢ Fresh Hot Pizza’s hot wings is currently a mystery to me. But I thought I’d add them in since they, too, rests on Willoughby Street. If you know how the hot wings taste please share. After my Dining Room experience I was addicted. Don’t Judge me.   


TRY YOUR OWN:

Hosting and need a delicious homemade meal? Try making your own Hot wings.

Ingredients / Precursors:

  • Separated precooked chicken wings (can be boiled or fried)
  • D.I.Y Your OWN Sauce (optional ingredients you can use: dry pepper, hot sauce, honey, bbq sauce, ketchup)
  • Metal pan (aluminum) big enough to lay each flat while baking
  • Bowl for sauce
  1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees
  2. Place your pre-cooked wings in your metal pan
  3. Coat the sauce throughout the wings
  4. Bake for 10 minutes
  5. Flip the wings, coat the chicken and bake for another 10 minutes.
  6. Continue to flip and bake until the chicken reaches creates your desired crisp.
  7. Serve while hot with a side of ranch dressing. (…Or blue cheese I guess, I am being bias.)

NOTE: It’ll taste so good, you can serve them cold.

 

 

“Don’t Take it Personal”

six runway models

Boston FW by Luke Aaron/Jenny via CC license

February isn’t only Black History Month or a time for award and sport shows. It’s also about FASHION. This Winter’s month is when designers and artist show their latest styles for Summer, creating a constant flow of castings and events.

I have been modeling since Winter 2010 and partaking in entertainment since youth. I’ve appeared on local television, national television, independent films, and local modeling/fashion circuits. Now-a-days I cherish the few gigs, or jobs, I obtain here and there, especially being enrolled full-time. (Fun fact: I will be in the CityTech’s Spring Production “the falling Sparrow”)

.                         704664_10151360682268921_2078211220_o                      a model

 Amoni B | Photography Credits L-R  Garden of Bathsheba & Entertainment Vibes

Last year I joined a booking agency for natural hair models. They emailed about a casting for $500-$1000 to be apart of a DVD or Webcast. Models allowed to attend would be considered for the job. I was confirmed and I was excited! I even avoided getting my hair done with my newly purchased internationally imported hair wefts.

I went to the casting after class, traveling to Lower Manhattan Gansevorts’ Meatpacking District on the West side near 14th street. It was snowing, I was cold, I got semi-lost, yet very determined. I managed to arrive before call time. To my surprise, because of the STORM, the casting was delayed. I canceled my sub-sequential appointments.

Models of various shapes and sizes poured into the mini elevator, then headed to the penthouse suite. I saw some familiar faces and several new ones. There were models conversing with new found friends; models sitting on couches dreaming away; models standing against walls; models sitting and gazing at those walls; models on their phones avoiding looking up at the surroundings, models preparing their newly painted masks in the restrooms, models changing garments from their winter-barriers to runway ready attire, and models disappearing due to the wait.

A couple of hours later, a male appeared. He laughed at the site and asked for some more organization. He separated us by our current hair length: those with long hair went to the right and those with hair above the shoulder went to the left. Having my hair in its tightly curly state I went to the left. He disappeared and there was a large waves of chatter. 20 minutes later he reappeared with a female companion. She further grouped us by hair color: brunettes to the right; blondes to the left; red heads to the back center; those with bobs or who will cut their hair to the back left; an those who would color their hair in any of the previously mentioned go to that group. I didn’t want to cut my hair so I went to the rouges, showing an open mind. The pair looked in the crowd of eager faces. They walked the room choosing those they saw fit. They ran their hands in models’ heads before putting them on a lifted platform.  They disappeared and deliberated, upon returning they dismissed us. Of the 30 models on stage, all were female, Caucasian, long hair, straight, maybe with a slight wave on some. Most were brunettes, 3 blondes, and one model had short gray hair in a bob.

two models

Backstage by Barnadette via CC license

The minorities looked at each other and at those on the platform. Some faces looked upset, others looked used to the turn out, and other visages remained blissful. I hoped at least one any minority, long or short, straight or curled, would be chosen. I felt even though we was allowed to attend this “equal opportunity” casting, there wasn’t an authentic place for us.

When leaving, it was as if we were on 42nd street during rush hour packed in a cramped corridor. People went to the elevator and some searched for stairs. While I waited online for the elevator, a feminine Greek-like statuesque consoled her tribal match, yet curly red-haired friend. She said, “Don’t take it personal… they usually go for people with straight hair. I’ve been chosen several times before when my hair has straight so I won’t [take it personal].”

I was conflicted. I was taking it personal. I thought of how I was screened for the casting and had hopes of being chosen. I thought of discrimination. I thought of being of color during Black History Month. I thought of breaking out of the African-American circuit and being internationally accepted. I thought of straightening my hair.


QUESTIONS TO THE PUBLIC: Do you feel there is a STILL a gap in the beauty industry?  |  Have you partook in fashion shows, what was the casting process?  |   What is your take on Mercedes Benz Fashion Week vs. Couture Fashion Week vs. Brooklyn Fashion Week vs. Urban Fashion Week?  |  Should models take castings personal or should the artist choose their subjects?  |  Should castings be regulated?

a young woman

Amoni B by Heaven Sent Photography