This week we had a special event. Adidas Combat Team had three UFC fighters do a signing at the shop which I shot; it was very cool experience. I had the opportunity to network with several already established designers and photographers from Adidas that do exactly what I would like to do. We exchanged business cards and I will be shadowing them in future events. The key to networking is humbling yourself and let yourself be taught by people who have already been there. It feels really good to be recognized as the shops photographer and be respected for it but there is so much I can learn from these veterans that are willing to help young and hungry upcoming designers like us.
In a way they know we will be replacing them in a distant future but with the right attitude on both parts their style and techniques can live through us.
Dear Brian,
Again, it’s important to provide context. Don’t assume your readers know what you mean when you use the term “UFC.” Explain things in greater detail so we really understand what’s happening. Finally, try to write shorter sentences. Your last sentence would be better if were two sentences. Also, this phrase “but with the right attitude on both parts…” is unclear. I’d try to re-phrase it.
Professor Mason
P.S. Remember, I’m looking for all interns to write between 250-300 words per week.