Things I want my Daughter to Know: Self Love

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I think it goes without saying that we want to raise our children to love themselves, accept who they are and believe in their own potential but I’m not sure I’ve ever heard someone tell a child how or why it’s so important to love who you are every single day of the year.

Ava,

One day you’ll be a big girl, a young adult, a teenager looking in the mirror and comparing yourself to the Scarlett Johansson’s or the Michele Obama’s of the world. You’ll wonder if you’ll ever be that pretty or that ambitious, and the answer is yes. Yes, over time you will grow into a beautiful polished woman but in the mean time appreciate the time you have to grow. Realize that you will never have all the answers and that’s okay, part of growing up means asking for help and admitting you’re lost. People respect honesty and needing help doesn’t mean you’re any less capable. You will never have all the answers but you’ll have some and the company you keep, friends and mentors, will fill in the rest.

Remember to always love yourself, remember that you are your best investment. Never discount your own abilities because they are as strong as you believe them to be, practice makes perfect baby girl. Don’t seek to grow up or see success over night because you’ll be disappointed. Instead take small moments to look back at the small victories and the progress you’ve made. Every time you look in the mirror smile, smile at your beauty, your luscious curly hair, your dimples and your infectious laughter. Love everything that makes you who you are because one day it will be those very things that someone will love so much about you, that friends will enjoy so much about being around you. Nobody can ever take those things from you, no matter how mean or unkind they may be. Remember that the things that make you who you are, are embedded in you and they will always shine through, let them.

Finally Ava remember that perfection is a state of mind and not a reality, nobody is perfect not even me. I have made my fair share of mistakes and messed up opportunities and failed even after my best attempts. These things do not define you or your future I promise. These are merely stories to pass onto your own daughter or tools to inspire others. It’s so easy to blame yourself and slowly begin to resent who you are or what you’ve done or lack thereof but don’t give in, don’t let fear win. Fear will turn you into a wallflower and someone who is afraid to take leaps and bounds. So remember even in your darkest hour you are the light in someone else’s life, mine, your friends and even someone you’ve never met, you inspire someone. Loving yourself is so important for your own success it is important to acknowledge your strengths as well as your weaknesses and know that sometimes you will win and sometimes you will loose but success is a journey not a destination and you should love yourself at every step of that journey.

All my love,

Mom

A Walk On The Brooklyn Bridge

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The Brooklyn Bridge is one of the most iconic places in New York City. lf you are a New Yorker, or have visited NYC, you definitely have to go there at least once in your life time. It is one of the places that embodies the identity of New York City and makes it the wonderful city that it is. The Brooklyn Bridge, being on this city’s list of most visited places and point of interest, attracts around one and a half million tourists on a a yearly basis.

We can easily understand why that is because walking on the bridge gives you an amazing view from the city and its surroundings. Especially the Manhattan skyline, which is one of the sights that make visiting the Brooklyn Bridge an experience like no other. On its surroundings, the East river has some fantastic sights as well, depending on how far your eyes can reach. Those who have not crossed the Brooklyn Bridge yet, are highly encouraged to make visiting the bridge part of their bucket list to experience in this iconic New York City location for what it stands for and its spectacular sightseeing.

A good dream is a dream that can become reality.

people walking on a city bridgePhoto taken at the Brooklyn Bridge

 

As long as there is a destination to reach, there should be no reason to stop.

aerial view of a city bridge

Photo taken at the Brooklyn Bridge

 

The best moments are those that can’t be experienced more than once.

a city skyline at night, from a bridge

Photo taken at the Brooklyn Bridge

 

Once you cross the gates of the Brooklyn Bridge, the most fascinating and magical city awaits you on the other side.

a city skyline at sunset, from a bridgePhoto taken at the Brooklyn Bridge

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Future of Cake Decorating

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the comparison of three cake style

Image by: Bakerella

Everyone has friends, family members, or other loved ones and with these relationships come celebrations that are scattered around our calendars. These celebrations are usually complimented by party favors, decorations i.e. balloons, and refreshments which will probably include a cake. Sometimes, baking a cake at home from scratch can be too time-consuming so we find the closest alternative by purchasing a cake that was already made at the store or supermarket to save time especially for those of us who struggle with baking all together. I thought it would be interesting to share how these cakes are made by these revolutionary machines that eliminate the human error that can occur when making a cake and is used in a high production bakery that have either a large variety of pastries or numerous orders for cakes.

Have you ever wondered how supermarkets or other shops create the perfect cakes that we often purchase for birthdays, graduations, baby showers etc.? The process is extremely simple but the machine that creates these beautiful edible masterpieces is very expensive. With the advancement in technology, it aids in the new machines being created as well as lowering the need for additional labor required for certain jobs. Have you ever looked at a cake in a bakery or supermarket and wished you could mimic the precision of it? While that is achievable, it can be very complex as you are most likely going to be competing with a machine rather than a human hand’s delicate work.

The Unifiller Corporation is a company with a collection of cake decorating machines that will either frost the cakes or decorate them. It is designed to lower the labor of employees by doing all the manual labor of frosting a cake. Each machine costs a few thousand dollars and is not for home bakers because of the energy and space it occupies. But it is still a great learning experience to view how these cakes are easily made by way of this magical machine.

Comment below other desserts that you have always wanted to make but found too complex? Or a time that you struggled with baking something?

5 Steps to Start a Business

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Thinking of starting a business or just curious? Maybe you’ll end up using the information to help someone else.

I starting hosting seminars again under my company Vive Entertainment Enterprises Corporation, a service and educational non-profit. I also perform free mentoring through the state: Amoni B NYC. Last Saturday we, my business associates and I, spoke on how to start a business and did a Q/A for those who came or called in.

young women of color sitting at a table

Here are 5 steps to start yours:

  1. Turn Your hobby Into Your Money Stream: whether you have a job or not, you can turn most passions into a business. Perhaps you love to sew, talk or eat. That can turn into being a fashion designer, event host, or food network executive. Maybe not an exec, but a restaurant owner. Either way, take time to ideate on what you can do with your talent or hobby (sometimes you many not be as good as you think but keep motivated and hire others ).
  2. Solve A Problem: You do not need to reinvent the wheel! But make sure there is a market for your business. No one wants to see 5 Salad Bars in a 5 block radius, nor will each one make enough money. Heck, there is competition at the two located in Rockefeller Center. How ever if there is none, there is an opening for what you want to do. Whether you solve your own problem of wanted salad near your home or solving the problem of giving healthy choice options for your neighborhood, you may succeed.
  3. Know When To Be Selfish: This point actually came to me in a dream. I’m always doing for others and sometimes I neglect my needs and wants. If you want to be successful you must be a little selfish. Save your money for your business goals, don’t use what you need to give to your always begging little cousin. Take time out for yourself and try to be too consumed in either direction. Most of all don’t let distractions deter you from the bigger picture.
  4. Training Tuesday Will Land the Deal Monday: No matter what you do, you will need to do research and development. You can’t expect to open a winter accessories cart on the street of Miami if you haven’t looked into the weather. You must plan according to the facts. Ask yourself: What is my target market? What problems will I solve? What and where is my competition? Will I make money, how? What do I have to do before actually starting? Does it make sense? …. You see where I am going with this. Don’t forget to take seminars, ask for help, and shadow people doing what you want to do.
  5. Get Those Documents In Order: It’s simple, based on what you need to do you will need to get incorporated, next  get a tax ID, and after understand the licenses your business needs and apply for them. Maybe it’s just simply stated . If you need help use these free services.

STAY MOTIVATED AND NEVER GIVE UP

QUESTIONS TO THE AUDIENCE:  Is there anything you looking for help doing? | In need of entertainment services, technical assistance or business help?

 

Make sure to check out my last post, and stay tuned for my posts every Monday

What are the Most Important Soft Skills?

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“If I went back to college again, I’d concentrate on two areas: learning to write and to speak before an audience. Nothing in life is more important than the ability to communicate effectively.” – Gerald Ford, 38th president of the United States

“The number one criteria for advancement and promotion for professionals is an ability to communicate effectively.” – Harvard Business Review

“Those who build great companies understand that the ultimate throttle on growth for any great company is not markets, or technology, or competition, or products. It is the one thing above all others – the ability to get and keep enough of the right people.” – Jim Collins, author, Good to Great

Quote Credits

With so many soft skills, it’s hard to determine which one is the most important. But I think that communication skills is a good place to start. To employers, good communication is essential. When the lines are clear, it builds trust and can even increase productivity. We all know communication is a multi-way process taking place between two or more people and we communicate all the time. But how do we really know that communication has taken place? One of my biggest pet peeves is when people ask how are you but then don’t wait for an answer. I know we spend a lot of time rushing around, but by definition, that is non-communication. There is no real exchange of information.

A challenge of communication is how and when to share thoughts and concerns. I think it depends on the context of the situation. There are times when you should give your opinion and times when you should hold your peace. How do you determine when the time is right and how should you communicate? As the saying goes, “know your audience”. Good communication is never about us—it is always about those we are communicating with. So we should ask ourselves, “what will it take for me to clearly deliver my message?” Once we have the answer, communication becomes easier. Understand what you want to achieve through the communication. By making the right judgment we will know what to say and what not to say. Though it may not be an easy way for us to communicate, it will be easier for others to understand us.

.a drawing of signs that say"Why?"; "When?"; "What?"; "How?"; "Who?"; "Where?"

Image Credit

Finding a way to develop our communication skills is essential and the best way is to practice it daily. Whether it is oral or written, communication is about connecting and applying communication strategies will help us to overcome the barriers.

Practice:

Ask your friends, colleagues, professors, parents etc. for their honest feedback about your communication skills. Make a note of the positive and negative feedback to see what you need work on.

Introduction: The Softer Side

In my next blog, I will continue the discussion on communication with the five key principles of connection.

 

Up Close And Personal

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Friends  are easy to come by, but maintaining that relationship is another story.

One of my goals this year is to take more portraits of friends and strangers. Strangers? Yes! What’s the worst they can say? No? Well I’ll take my chances

With photography it allows you to get acquainted with so many people who will eventually become your friends or even best friends. One of my good friends who happens to be a photographer once told me, in order to take ones portrait, its easier to build a friendship with them first, in that way they will be more comfortable with you taking their picture. Apart from photography, most times you realize you both have much more in common and can learn from each other.

Here’s a few shots with some of my photography friends, good friends if I may add(lol).

“True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost.”  Roosevelt Island, NY 8:49am 

-Charles Caleb Colton

“Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness.”  Botanical Garden, Brooklyn NY 11:42am 

-Euripides

“There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.”  Hudson Yards ,Manhattan NY 2:11pm

-Thomas Aquinas

“Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.”  Tudor City, Manhattan NY 2:35pm

-Helen Keller

“One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.” Red Hook Brooklyn, NY 6:08pm

-Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Grab it by the horns

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a card that says "Grab it by the horns"

“This whole week I’ve been trying new experiences and revisiting old ones, it started with the passing of my grandma. It made me realize that life is too short to sit back and watch it pass me by. I have to get up and “grab it by the horns”, as the saying goes. She lived a long life and touched a lot of lives. She had a HUGE turnout for her funeral. Seeing that is what made me wanna DO more. She lived her life, I want to, as well.”

E. K.

Virtues from Motherhood: Strength

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Strength is a well-known and wildly used word and like many other words in the English language, it is easier said and defined than it is done. It is not until you’re forced, tested and down to your last fighting step that you discover your true inner strength.

My first lesson in sheer strength came when I brought my newborn daughter Ava home from the hospital. It’s expected, of course, that newborns come with no sleep and little time to function outside of changing and feeding. At eighteen years old however the virtue of patience was still being cultivated and I was at a loss. Never before in my life was I forced to operate on next to no sleep and make major life choices for another human being. It was terrifying.

When Ava was one week old she was readmitted to the hospital with a case of jaundice. Not only was it scary to have a baby that needs to go to the hospital it was even scarier having to talk to doctors, sign papers and navigate the healthcare system to make sure Ava was getting the care she needed. Everything seemed like this big blur and my head was spinning I had to do this alone. As I held Ava fast asleep in my arms in the triage area, I remembered how quick my own mom sprang into action when we were sick or hurt. I tried to think of all the questions she’d asked and how she asked them and I started to feel as if I wasn’t totally clueless. After I’d taken a deep breath, or twenty, I asked for a patient care representative and I got information about Ava’s treatment, her rights as a patient and mine as her mother. As soon as I got my hands on that information I felt better because I’d asked for help.

Ava ended up staying in the hospital two nights and I barely slept the entire time we were there. All I had in that room to sit or sleep in was a recliner and one white sheet, we weren’t at the Hilton and we weren’t there for me. I don’t remember caring much that I was uncomfortable I just wanted Ava to be OK, I stood next to her incubator most of the time watching her tiny chest rise and fall with each breath. When they finally said I could take her home I was so relieved, emotionally, mentally and physically.

If you’d told me on my eighteenth birthday that in 10 months I’d be sleeping on a chair in the Pediatric ICU I’d have rolled my eyes. My life was all about me then, my mom still made my dentist appointments; the biggest test of my strength was deciding what dress I wanted to wear to graduation. It wasn’t until I was wholly responsible for another life, a defenseless little life that needed me that I discovered I harbored that same inner strength my mom had. I don’t know how I stayed up for nearly 48 hours but I did for my daughter and it taught me that even when you feel you’re lost and you don’t know which way is up, you do.

Looking Ahead: Thank you so much for reading! Each week I’ll be posting about my struggles and triumphs of being a mom while working and going to school. This week I debuted my “Virtues from Motherhood” which are personal stories I want to share with my readers so they know they’re never alone in what they might be feeling. Next week i’ll debut “Things I want my daughter to know” where ill be sharing some of the most important life lessons I’ve learned that I want to pass on to her. I hope you’ll keep checking back and sharing your thoughts and comments with me!

When It IS Officially Winter

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Some say it is not officially winter until it snows. Well it may not be completely true because we know that winter begins on the 21st of December. However, it is indeed true that snow is one of the most distinctive visible evidence of winter.

It is as if winter could have had a trademark, snow would be the right one to claim it. Just for the simple reason that it only snows during winter. Many would not appreciate winter the same way they do if it was only cold and windy. Thus many people mostly appreciate it because snow makes winter beautiful and interesting. It could also be that because snow is the most enjoyable and unique part of winter that many look forward to see and experience. Coming from a tropical island, I cannot hold myself from getting excited about seeing snowfall. It is one of those things I never get tired of seeing because each snowfall is magical and it has its own different story.

To reach your ideal destination, you must take the right journey.

a snowy city street

Photo taken in Brooklyn

 

Snowy days make everything beautiful.

a snowy city streetPhoto taken in Queens

 

You can take the easy roads in life, but the challenging ones are always the most interesting.

a snowy city streetPhoto taken in Queens

 

Waiting for the train to come after snowfall is even more interesting.

a snowy city train trackPhoto taken at The Highline

 

The Art of Inexpensive Fine Dining

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Image by: Simon Pielow

Image by: Simon Pielow

In the hustle and bustle of our tedious schedules with school, work, or personal responsibilities, we sometimes forget to treat ourselves to a splurge every now and then. We probably have all dreamt of having the chance to eat at a fine dining restaurant especially as New Yorkers as New York is prospering in terms of the culinary scene. But with holidays such as Valentine’s Day approaching, it puts an impending pressure to impress by way of expensive outings or gifts. But as Restaurant Week has now come to an end and is over before the Valentine’s festivities. Restaurant Week began January 18 and concluded on February 5, 2016. This week is devoted to reducing the normal pricing of fine dining restaurant for about three weeks to purchase a prix-fixe menu which varies in prices. Lunch costs only twenty-five dollars while dinners costs thirty-eight dollars, reservations are highly recommended as many restaurants will receive a high demand of customers. The best days to reserve is between Monday thru Wednesday as there is lower demand and will have more available reservations rather than Thursday and into the weekend.

A prix-fixe menu, literally means a fixed priced menu, which is a three-course meal that consists of an appetizer, entrée, and dessert as beverages, tip or tax are not included in that price. These menus have fewer options but are more cost efficient in the end. So even if you miss restaurant week, you can still choose this option to save on restaurant all year long but there will be another restaurant week in the summer. Although, the dates have not been released yet, it will most likely be in mid-July to the beginning of August.

The Chicken Kiev at Gotham Bar & Grill (Image by: Brianna Vasquez)

The Chicken Kiev at Gotham Bar & Grill
(Image by: Brianna Vasquez)

I understand that with the financial struggles of college or other financial burdens, it can be difficult to find not only the time but money to contribute to splurging on a culinary outing. Personally, I struggle with this notion as I never like to spend money only save it to eventually have plenty of savings. But recently, I was talking with my mom who explained to me that while savings are important to afford certain debts that need to be paid accordingly. It is also important to put some savings just for yourself to splurge on whether it be a CD you’ve been obsessed with or a candy bar you’ve been craving. You have to splurge on yourself every now and then because after all the hard work you endured, you deserve it. I am still trying to abide by this concept although it is hard, I find that I am more motivated and dedicated to completing certain tasks as I set personal goals for myself to achieve in order to be rewarded by way of something as simple as watching a movie on opening day.

Comment below to share items that you like to reward yourself with in the hectic madness of our lives.