Growing and Getting Through

During the semester it may be difficult for students to balance their personal lives and their academic conquests. At some points it may even feel as though you are going “crazy” between dealing with the stress at home, at work, and at school. As a  student I can attest to how difficult it is to find time to make everyone happy, but the truth is it’s impossible to satisfy everyone’s needs and your own! You may be thinking to yourself, “That’s not true, it is possible to make everyone in my life happy.” My response to that would be “If you are making everyone happy, are you yourself truly happy? After you’ve done everything for everyone else, how do you feel mentally, physically and emotionally? Are you strong enough to do all you need to do for yourself as well or do you find yourself feeling exhausted and drained?” I think once you reflect on those questions, you will realize  that living only to please others has in fact been taking away from you pleasing yourself.

I decided to discuss this topic this week because at the tender age of 24, I have finally realized that I am not capable of making everyone happy. I thought that I was strong enough to balance my personal and academic life, while also being there for everyone else. In all actuality, I was absorbing everyone else’s issues and adding them on to my own personal problems. Days would go by and I would feel consumed with anger and stress, but I couldn’t put my finger on the issue. One day I decided to find a way to occupy my wandering mind, and I found a book that changed my outlook on life. The name of the book that I found solace in is called “All About Love: New Visions” by bell hooks . This book opened up my mind to the possibility that I was the root of my problems. I was causing myself a lot of stress and frustration because I was dwelling on issues that were out of my control rather than moving on and accepting things for what they were.

After reading this book I looked at my life through a different lens, and I began to adapt the ideas in this book to my personal life. I noticed that the more that I accepted the things bell hooks provides in her book, the more relationships in my life began to change. Not only were the dynamics in my relationships beginning to change, I was also growing and I could see my growth. I was accepting that there are things that I cannot change, allowing myself to work through issues in a positive light, and expressing my inner most thoughts that I historically tried to harbor inside of me. This change in the way I was navigating through my life helped me mentally, and physically. Not only was I feeling better about the things I could and couldn’t do, but I was also able to feel more confident in completing the academic work I had to do for myself. This book “All About Love: New Visions” has taught me about  more than the dynamics of love;  it also taught me so much about myself. It showed me that in order for me to find a way to say no to others so that I could say yes to myself, I had to grow. I had to grow out of the current position I had placed myself in, and go through a metamorphosis into a new me.

I want each of you that are reading this blog to know that in life sometimes you must unapologetically take your feelings into consideration before others. I am not saying to be selfish because there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking care of others. Rather what I’m saying is you must first work on your own personal happiness, and then you have to pick and choose what you can do for other people. Don’t over exert and extend yourself to help others when you need to take care of yourself. Instead, do what you can for others, while also making sure you are okay in the process. I know that making such a drastic change as taking care of yourself as much as you take care of others won’t be easy. However, in order for you to be happy, healthy, and mentally stable you must take the appropriate steps to comfort and console yourself.

I urge everyone who is reading this blog to take a moment and ask yourself:

  1. Have you cried randomly in the last few weeks?
  2. Are you doing too much for others and feeling unappreciated?
  3. Do you often feel like you are overwhelmed with your life?

If the answer to any of these questions are yes, then you need to take a break and take care of yourself. The only way for you to feel better about any situation you are in is for you to practice self-care and make sure you are okay.

Feel free to use the comment box below to vent about what’s on your mind.
And, has anyone read this book that helped me so much ? If so, leave a note about your experiences with it!

What is Love? Baby Don’t Hurt Me

Valentine’s Day is tomorrow!!!
I love Valentine’s Day!
I love the spirit, I love the colors, I just love all the love that is in the air.

cartoon character sitting with dreamy face with hearts around her

Image By: We Heart It

We show love all year but it’s so different around Valentine’s day, because it’s basically love on steroids lol. It’s the extra that feels good: the frosting on the cake, the whipped cream on top of the frappucino, the sprinkles on the ice cream. It just feels better than all the other days and it looks prettier. Hey, maybe it’s just me, but I love it.

Valentine’s day isn’t just about a romantic relationship. It’s about showing love to someone in your life, whether it’s a romantic partner, a best friend, your parents, other family members, or even your pet. It’s about putting that love out there to make their world shine even brighter for the day.

In ode to Valentine’s day I asked friends and family to answer one of two questions:

  1. How did you know you were in love?
    or
  2. What does love mean to you?

Their responses reminded me why the essence of Valentine’s day is so important.
Their answers were:

“I knew I was in love when I started crying because she hung up on me” LOL
– Adonijah

“Love is more than just a feeling. You can feel strongly in like but love requires commitment. You can like someone and not be committed to them but love is a bond that yearns commitment.”
– Justin B

“Your smile melted my heart and I just knew 27 years ago”
– My Corny Older Sister Afiya

“I knew I was in love when I cared about his feelings and thought of how he would react to certain situations before I thought of anyone else”
– Lexxii

“The minute you find out you’re pregnant and then you hear the heartbeat, that is a love no one can match. I loved my daughter from that moment. I knew my purpose in life now was to love her, protect her, and make sure she knows I love her so she can accept nothing less from anyone else”
– Mareena

“I have no idea what love is. Sometimes I think I’m in love after one hour but should it be that fast? I don’t have a real solid definition but I know it feels damn good”
-Sabreen

“Love is so splendid. It’s selfless, kind, gentle, understanding, considerate. Love is putting yourself in situations to see how it feels to someone else before you do it. Love is wanting to be near the person or thing that gives you butterflies all the time. Love just might be the most powerful feeling.”
– My Mom whom I love every day by the way 🙂 lol

“Love means that you care for somebody and that somebody loves you and you love them.”
My six-year-old niece (She’s onto something here)

Valentine’s day doesn’t have to be just about showering someone with gifts, or spending a lot of money, or—like some Valentine’s day haters would say—“taking this ONE day to show people you love them.” I can understand though how the commercialism of Valentine’s day can leave a bad taste in people’s mouths—it seems like just another day to put ridiculous amounts of money into businesses’ and restaurants’ pockets. Not to mention how triggering it can be for single people or people whose relationship isn’t in the best place. That’s why any time I come across someone that has this opinion about Valentine’s day, I like to emphasize that personally, my best version of Valentine’s Day usually requires no money to be spent at all, and it’s not just about a boyfriend or girlfriend. I enjoy quality time with family and people I love, letters, handmade thoughtful gifts and memorabilia. You can celebrate and have your special day that way as well, full of sentiment and without the need of material things.

Valentine’s day is a day of reflection, really remembering why you love who you love, why you appreciate them, and dedicating the day as the anniversary, the holiday, the celebration for that love. How can you not love it?!

boy with glasses with dreamy eyes looking up

Retrieved from QuanJing

For those of you who have a love-hate relationship with Valentine’s day, be your own Valentine this year. Shower yourself with love and attention.

man pointing to you as viewer with words "treat yourself"

Gif Retrieved from Pajiba.com

Whatever your reasoning may be for not necessarily enjoying or desiring to celebrate Valentine’s day, recreate the day and dedicate it to yourself. I’m always here for the self love, honey. Self love is the best love. The more you love yourself is the more you love others and accept love and disregard hate. But make sure you get a slice of all this love that is flying around right now; it’s beautiful, and on Feb 15th you won’t see it this loud anymore lol 🙂

happy valentines day

Image from Pixabay

two young girls hugging and smiling

Image by Masterfile

man and woman sitting on couch smiling at each other

Retrieved from Essence.com

two women in intimate hug embrace

Retrieved from CinemaJam

two male hands interlocked

Retrieved from StarObserver

toddler girl kissing her reflection in the mirror

Retrieved from PathwaysOfWisdom

Personality Plus: An Ancient Idea with a Modern Flair

by Robine Jean-Pierre

My fiancé Angel and I can say that our initial friendship deepened as a result of some important exchanges. To name one, I introduced him to the world of contemporary Christian music, and he unlocked the door to the library of positive mental attitude (PMA) books. One of the first books I saw him read was Personality Plus by Florence Littauer. I made it very clear to him that I was curious about it, and he made it clear that it would change my life. Once I got a hold of it, I dove right in.

In short, the book did change my life. It introduced to me the idea that while there are plenty of things that make people unique and distinct, we all naturally tend to fall into certain identifiable patterns and habits. It becomes way easier to understand ourselves and communicate with others when we take these patterns and habits into account.

Throughout history, there have been various studies that expound upon these distinct sets of patterns and habits. This book specifically addresses and builds upon the ancient Greek idea of the Four Temperaments. Littauer describes them as Popular Sanguine, Powerful Choleric, Perfect Melancholy, and Peaceful Phlegmatic. I’ll offer a simplified summary of each below.

Popular Sanguine
People with this temperament tend to be bubbly, talkative, friendly, and outgoing. They are often considered “the life of the party” and “the center of attention.” They often struggle with forgetfulness, following through on a commitment, and can swing between emotional highs and lows pretty quickly.

Powerful Choleric
These people are often considered “natural leaders” because they have a bold, straightforward demeanor and a strong will. If a task needs to get done, they most likely will take the initiative. At the same time, they can be bossy, stubborn, and, as the name implies, they can have a bad temper.

Perfect Melancholy
Those who fall under this category are “the thinkers.” They can be quiet and reserved at times, but their minds are brimming with intellect and creative talent. On the negative side, they can be too hard on themselves and others because of their perfectionist mindset. Their emotional cycle of highs and lows tends to be more intense and slower paced (it may take longer to recover from an offense).

Peaceful Phlegmatic
These individuals are very mellow and “chill.” They make great listeners because of their passive nature, and they do not waste time making decisions because their answer will usually be “either one” or “I don’t care.” At the same time, they are more likely to procrastinate because they sometimes lack self-motivation to make more important decisions. They can also come off as indifferent because they do not express their emotions easily.

Similarities and Differences
The temperaments within themselves share certain similarities. For instance, Perfect Melancholy and Powerful Choleric tend to be more intense, independent, “task-oriented.” As a result, they may at times come off as emotionally detached, or too serious, but their determination and resolve can definitely be beneficial. Someone of either temperament might isolate herself in her room until she is finished with her homework, for example. On the flip side, Popular Sanguine and Peaceful Phlegmatic are more “people-or
iented.” Either one would be willing to drop whatever they are doing to help a friend. They are more likely to let emotions influence their decisions, which can be helpful or harmful.

These relationships are further explored in a similar theory, the Disc Model, developed by Harvard psychologist Dr. William Moulton Marston in the 1920’s (learn more in the Disc Personality Testing Blog).

a diagram comparing and contrasting personalities within the DISC model

taken from Discovery Report

 

Keep Calm and Read On
Now, I know some of us are skeptical and do not like the idea of putting people into boxes. Rest assured, the summaries above have certainly been oversimplified, and the truth is that most of us exhibit characteristics that fall under all of the temperaments (or perhaps, at the very least, two). I can’t say whether the temperaments are the best personality model, or why they exist (if only in our minds), but I can say that this knowledge has improved my understanding of myself and others. For example, knowing that Angel is primarily a Popular Sanguine, I’ll be more understanding if he forgets to bring me something because he was wrapped up in conversation along the way. (As for me, I’m predominantly a Perfect Melancholy. I may elaborate on my experience more in a future post.)

If you are interested in taking these theories into consideration, I would advise you to use them as a guideline, rather than a standard. If you know of any promising personality quizzes, please feel free to comment the links (and/or results) below!

Life After Undergrad: Finding my new groove

Hey everyone, if you’re just catching up I’ve changed my blog from “Virtues from Motherhood” to “Life After Undergrad” as I chronicle my transition from college student to full-time working adult. First let me say that I am considering grad school and getting my Masters Degree but I’m still on the fence. Transitioning from a college student routine into one without any school is surprisingly challenging. I thought that I’d be relieved and carefree now that I didn’t have to worry about papers, midterms and passing grades, but truth be told I feel a little lost without it. I got so used to planning my day out and rushing off to class after work while making sure that everything was done and organized.

Now, I wake up and get ready for work but I feel light, there is no bag full of books and notes, there is no folder filled with a syllabus and assignments. It’s just me and my now downsized bag headed off for a brisk 9-5 shift. Last week the spring semester began and I felt a little sad, some of my friends are still there and my siblings are back in class, and then there’s me, headed home at 530. It’s not all bad though, I’ve started meal prepping and trying not to eat out. I also started going back to the gym and trying to take better care of myself. While I was in school I was on the go for 15 hours a day so eating right and exercising took a back seat.

Now as I try to get into the groove of things I try to keep a positive mindset. I’ve made a habit of pointing out the positives to myself and dealing with and discarding the negative. I’ve learned throughout my college career that attitude is everything and will affect anything you do. I’m not sure what the future holds for me right now but I am excited to find out. Now that I’ve achieved what I thought was impossible I am more confident than ever; I believe in who I am and what I can do. That ability is invaluable, you need to value everything about yourself, no matter where you are.

A Note on Beauty

A-Note-on-Beauty_01

A-Note-on-Beauty_02

On most mornings, you can often find me cross-legged in front of a mirror buffing on eyeshadow. It’s a process:

A-Note-on-Beauty_03

Admittedly, I had begun wearing makeup to please the false gods of society and snooty middle school girls who I always thought were cooler than me. I was delving into the world of beauty for the sake of others.

A-Note-on-Beauty_04

I was trying to match looks that weren’t necessarily meant for me, for the sake of fitting in. So, instead of makeup being a source of creative expression and confidence, it became a crutch and a prison. I HAD TO LOOK LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS!

In hindsight, however, I think I had to go through that painful stage to get to where I am now. I wasn’t born naturally assured of my worth and I had to work for it. I still do. Because of this, makeup for me today isn’t the same as it was for me five or six years ago. Where putting on eyeliner and the perfect mascara was a tool to fit in, those things today I do for myself.

Naturally, there are the skeptics:

“That’s BS. You just want to impress boys.”

“If you were actually confident, you wouldn’t wear makeup. You’d be fine with your own face.”

A-Note-on-Beauty_05

Well, I am fine with my own face. Thank you for the concern! Of course, there are days where I don’t feel one hundred percent and need the makeup to give me a little boost. But for the most part, I am happy with what my mama gave me. I have been living in my body for all 19 years of my life and I’ve seen it evolve and change and I have learned to love its little nooks and crannies. My makeup has become part of my routine, just like coffee or showers. And believe me, I don’t drink coffee or care for my hygiene for the sake of others.

A-Note-on-Beauty_06

A great little instagram video I saw a couple of years back mirrors my sentiments perfectly:

(Instagram: @tinawoodsss)

The first time I put purple on my eyelids at fifteen, I could hardly give two toots about what the cute guy in science thought. I put it on because I liked the way it made my eyes look. That same sentiment applies for the reds and yellows I put on my lids in the present, despite the colors not being “in season.”

I was scrolling through YouTube a few days ago, and I happened to watch a video of actor Dove Cameron getting her hair dyed. While her hair was processing, she and the man doing her hair were sitting outside in the LA sun, talking about life and beauty.  About two and three quarters of a minute into the video, Dove says something that has stuck with me. She explains that Beauty gets a “bad rep” because it is often associated with vanity. But, “…if it comes from a place of self-love, it’s fun.”

Makeup isn’t necessarily about being prettier about everyone else. At least it isn’t for me. For me, the way I do my makeup or the way I dress isn’t to impress the world or boys or picky middle school girls. For me, Beauty has transformed from a social pressure into another piece of art. I do it for the love of it.

A-Note-on-Beauty_07

Hey, if anyone has any interesting eyeshadow looks you could suggest for me to recreate, please leave me a link below!

Thanks for reading and I’ll see you all next week!

Pebbles <3

My Life is a Bakery

book with empty cup of coffee

Image by: Sofia Oliveira

Welcome back to all the students of City Tech…it is truly an honor to have the opportunity to return as a blogger for Openlab’s The Buzz despite being a graduate of the college. I hope that everyone is excited to become so busy with classes, tests, and homework that you barely have time for a social life. But honestly, I hope that everyone has a successful semester and is proud of themselves for getting another semester started, getting closer to their goal of graduation. I thought a lot about what I wanted my first post to be about…what I wanted to discuss. As always, food is what motivates me, it is the one thing that I never cease to have a passion for. I cannot remember a time when I didn’t have an appreciation for food and its innovation in our world. When I write my posts, I tend to battle with myself: a debate on what is appropriate to write or discuss especially when it is personally affecting my life. I wonder if being honest about my personal struggles is helpful to others or too humiliating to put on such a public forum. The truth is, no matter who you are, we all face our own specific struggles on the day-to-day basis.

From my experience and having graduated college, it has honestly been the most difficult time for me. It is the first time in my life where academics don’t play a central role in my life. I don’t have to worry about homework assignments, midterms, finals, or attending six classes. And yet, I have no clear idea of what I want to do with my life now. A ton has occurred in my life that has forever changed me into a different person. I have dealt with loss and faced both depression as well as anxiety. I quit baking because it didn’t bring me as much joy as it once did. I wanted happiness but I felt guilty for it.

The month of January was a big turning point for me as I was able to hang out with my sister Sabrina more often without her stressful and tedious college schedule. She is my confidant, my best friend. I honestly don’t know where I would be without her. She has seen me in both my best and worst moments. I love her. She has helped to guide me through my depression as she motivated me to maintain a social life and by getting me out of the house. We were able to embark on many adventures during her break from school. One of my favorite places to go with her is Mia’s Bakery which is located not too far from the college. It has a café within a bakery where you can sit down peacefully while enjoying the amazing drinks and pastries that they offer. It has been the host place for many deep conversations that we have divulged.

a decorated plate of pie and a mug filled with green tea

Image by: Brianna Vasquez

The last time that we went there, we enjoyed ourselves as always: laughing, exchanging secrets, and carrying on about the current situations in our lives. I had the banana cream pie and a matcha latte…both were utterly delicious. I cannot merely put into words the richness and creaminess of the pie while the matcha perfectly offset the sweetness of the dessert. Sabrina thoroughly enjoyed her strawberry marble cheesecake and a vanilla macchiato. It is times like these that I live for…the simple togetherness of people and enjoying each other’s company.

Welcome Back Everyone!

Hey City Tech! Gen here welcoming you all back from the long break. I hope you all had an amazing holiday and new year filled with new goals and prosperity. Now that we are back from the winter break I want to remind everyone to be calm for the new semester. Yes, I’m talking to you freshmen. Keep a calm profile, everything’s going to be all right you just need to breathe and remember that the syllabus gives you everything that needs to be done. Don’t stress yourself out; I’m sure you can do this! As for my other viewers, sophomores, juniors, seniors, or those who are embarking on another year in City Tech, I’d like to remind you of all your success. Another semester in college, another step closer to graduation. What better way to celebrate that then with a delicious cup of tea?

“Cup of tea you say? Why tea?” Is what you’re all probably asking from the other side of the screen. Lemme tell you why. For me, tea is a great balancing supplement that helps me with anxiety and stress it keeps me calm. On a higher note, given by Harvard Health Publishing “… it turns out that tea does contain substances that have been linked to a lower risk for heart disease, cancer, and other health problems that affect men.” Tea, however, has benefits for all of us not just men. But, the point is that tea can do wonders for both the body and the soul. As we all know and hear about, green tea is a prime example to essential and good health. In that same post it said that “… tea contains certain substances linked to better health. The main players are chemicals called polyphenols, in particular catechins and epicatechins.” These chemicals are a form of antioxidants that come in day to day natural food and drinks, such as fruits and vegetables along with tea and wine. There’s a reason as to why nature’s given us these plants and remedies rather than pills on trees. Ya know, some illnesses can be naturally treated, and even, prevented rather than what we get from our doctors. In a quick point, the body needs antioxidants, without them our bodies grow to be weak and prone to more illness and attacks. My recommendation?? Drink more tea! It’s cheap, easy to make, and it tastes great hot or iced; whichever way you like it.

Welcome to 2018 at City Tech!

Welcome back to City Tech, everyone! I hope your winter break was relaxing and pleasurable as  we now muster the strength to return and finish the school year. I normally share historical and/or current stories about pieces of architecture and art in New York City. But, before I delve into my more informational posts, I would like to share a few things that I did and places I explored over the winter break.

happy new year written on condensated window

For Christmas, my family and I ventured to Lancaster, Pennsylvania to see a Nativity play at the Sight & Sound Theatre. The facility was built like a Disney Castle; I found it hard to believe that this experience was real or some type of fantasy dreaming. The arches by the entrance were exaggerated and hollow; giving the patrons a clue as to what lied forth the fantastical facade. Past the threshold was a sweet aroma of caramelized almonds; it was the type of smell that made you want to bite the air to see if you could taste it. The auditorium, itself, was a well-thought design; as if the theatre was built around the audience instead of the ordinary spectator viewing. The show was great and I enjoyed it thoroughly; it’s not typical to see horses, goats, pyrotechnics, or choreographed acrobatics inside a closed auditorium. The entire experience was very different from other plays I have seen and I found every aspect intriguing.

a statue at Sight and Sound Theatre

the Sight and Sound Theatre seating arrangement

Sight & Sound Theatre auditorium

Ceiling at Sight and sound theatre

Ceiling motif at the Sight & Sound Theatre

For New Year’s Day, we went out to Coney Island beach like thousands of others to celebrate 2018 with the annual Polar Plunge. This would be my third year attending the winter festivity and it was one of the coldest. Reportedly, the temperature of the brackish Atlantic Ocean was 37 degrees Fahrenheit and the outside temperature was in the lower teens; this would be the coldest New Year’s Day in about 50 years. Bravely, we marched past the ice breaking at the shore and stepped into the slushy waters, dunking ourselves into winter’s freezing abyss. My body was thoroughly shocked by the water; I lost my breath and almost all the feeling in my limbs before gathering all the will I had to run out of the frigid water.

the sun at coney island beach

Coney Island Beach on New Year’s Day

These are just a few of the things I did over my winter break; I still spent plenty of days resting from the long and grueling fall semester. As I chart through the spring semester I will bring you more stories of my adventures and information that I learn along the way.

 

 

The Black Panther: The Movement Within Black History Month

A comic book cover of Black Panther

 

Since the invention of television in the early 1900s, there has always been a lack of equal representation of all races. Sitcoms, cartoons, movies and even commercials were dominated with predominantly white leading actors and supporting casts. According to the article “The Golden Age Of Blacks In Television: The Late 1960s”  by J. Fred MacDonald, “In part, the changing complexion of TV in the late 1960s was a reflection within the industry of the changes wrought by the great social and legal movement that was the push for civil rights. Until this date there had been few sponsored network shows headed by black actors.” It was not until the late 1900s that people of African descent were given roles in movies, but most of these roles were either demeaning or considered black exploitation. MacDonald explains that people of African descent were offered parts in predominantly white movies with minimum lines and camera time, people such as: Nichelle Nichols (Uhura) from Star Trek, Louise Beavers (Delilah Johnson) in The Imitation of Life, or James Baskett (Uncle Remus) and Hattie McDaniel (Aunty Tempy) in Disney’s cartoon Song of the South. All of their roles in one way or another played into negative stereotypes that were are related to people of African descent, and displayed them in a negative light. As time progressed and the Civil Rights Movement went into effect, television shows and movies became more diverse, as they began to air shows that showed people of African descent in roles that were more than just background props. As examples the article lists television shows such as The Cosby Show, Julia, I SPY and Room 222 which depicted people of African descent in a more respectful and accurate light. These shows were full of characters that portrayed people of African descent positively rather than in a way that played into negative connotations that were associated with their race.

More recently I’ve noticed that people of African descent have been dominating movie/television screens and playing characters that are relatable to people of all races. After going to see movies like Hidden Figures, Moonlight, Get Out, Fences, The Butler, and Straight Outta Compton, just to name a few, I feel as though these movies  have accurately depicted the lives and struggles people of African descent face today and have faced in history.  These movies have also given people of African descent a platform to have their voices heard, as movies are now created from their point of view. There is currently great excitement within the African American community because a new movie is being released that approaches African American film in a new way. The movie that is causing so much excitement is called “The Black Panther.” On February 16, 2018, about halfway through Black History Month, a movie about a Marvel Superhero of African descent will finally be released. The Black Panther movie is set in the nation of Wakanda, which is a technological fortress inhabited by African royalty and their people. Without giving too much away about the movie, the main character must return home to take over as heir to the throne after his father’s death. Now I know that the content of this movie sounds exciting, but that’s not the only reason that this movie is outselling every previous superhero film in advance ticket sales.

The Black Panther movie, which is directed by an African American man named Ryan Coogler, is so popular because it is breaking down barriers of visual media that have always glorified white superheroes such as Superman, Batman, Captain America, and Wonder Woman, while ignoring or downplaying the importance of superheroes of African descent such as Luke Cage, Black Lightning, Batwing, Storm, and The Black Panther. This introduction of a superhero of African descent into the lives of people who are accustomed to associating superheroes with the white race, provides a new dynamic into what group of people are seen as suitable role models or saviors. Not only is this movie centered on a superhero of African descent, but also the cast of this movie is the epitome of Black Excellence. Highly esteemed actors such as Angela Bassett (What’s Love Got To Do With It), Forest Whitaker (The Last King of Scotland), Michael B. Jordan (Creed), Chadwick Boseman (42), and Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years a Slave) all play major roles in this movie, and collectively have drawn in the attention of various audiences. The combination of the cast members and the content of this movie has created a fierce movement within communities of color. People are excited about this movie, and yearning to see this movie because it signifies a feeling of pride during a time where being a person of African descent is so difficult.

The Black Panther gives underrepresented groups a feeling of pride because it shows us that we can be excellent, strong, intelligent, and successful, but most of all, a hero. In a way, this movie is saying, “We do not need to wait on the white savior to rescue us from our struggles, we can rescue ourselves.” Superheroes of African descent like The Black Panther encourage young children and adults who grew up in the era of white-only superheroes to strive for greatness because they are being presented with visuals of greatness. I urge everyone–young and old–to go out and see The Black Panther movie. I feel that this movie could provide insight for people of all races, creeds and colors about how people of African descent prefer to be portrayed in media. We don’t want to be limited to categories and stereotypes that were created in segregationist eras. We are more than that, and this movie shows us and the people who seek to degrade us that we are more than the expectations placed on us. So go out, see the movie, and be part of The Black History Month Movement that will become a major part of history.

P.S. If you are just as excited to see this movies as I am, let me know what this movie means to you in the comment box below.

 

Time to Re-Wire: Forming Habits

“We are what we repeatedly do” -Will Durant

I once heard that if you do anything consistently for 30 days it becomes a habit or automatic action in your life. Some research argues it’s actually 21 days, some argues 66 days, and some argue some other magic number, lol. All I know is that for the past 30 plus days that school has been on break, I have not thought about school, homework, or getting to class at 8:30 a.m., and I think I’ve picked up some new habits. I have been waking up late to get to work for 11: 00 a.m., watching enough tv for every student at City Tech, and spending A LOT of time on “social media lane.”

They say old habits are hard to break and new habits are hard to form, so I’ve been doing my own reading and research on how to master forming and breaking habits. So with that  said, the truth is I that I didn’t really form new habits because I have had school in the back of my mind this whole time. I mean I have been going to school for so long so it’s obviously a hard habit to break. I even found myself super bored some days wishing for the semester to start.

One of the articles I found that stuck out for me and actually provided realistic guidance on the forming of habits and sticking to them was The 3 R’s of Habit Change: How To Start New Habits That Actually Stick. Right in the beginning of the article, the author James Clear says “What you repeatedly do (i.e. what you spend time thinking about and doing each day) ultimately forms the person you are, the things you believe, and the personality that you portray.” 
That makes sense!

Our lives are really just the product of ALL our habits wrapped up in one. It made me realize that there are actually many new habits I would like to form and some I want to drop. One thing that I want to point out is that a habit is not actually a “goal.” There is a big difference. For example the habit you want to form cannot be “to get all A’s this semester” or to “lose weight.” The habit is the activity that you want to take up that could promote your goal.

For example, the habit I want to form is to be in bed by 11 p.m. I am currently on a daily
9 a.m.-8 p.m. schedule, so getting my sleep is a PRIORITY and is really imperative to me being a regular sane person and not a ticking time bomb lol. What I do now is get in bed and then decide “oh hey girl, perfect time to scroll through social media or watch just one more episode” and then I wake up in the morning regretting it all.

The article talks about using “The Three R’s” to create new habits.

Reminder. Routine. Reward.

The reminder keeps you on top of the habit, the routine is the act of actually doing it, and reward is what motivates you to keep up your habit.

I’m going to use the 3 R’s by setting a REMINDER alarm to go to bed at 10:30 p.m. which will give me enough time to wrap up whatever I’m doing. Then initiate the ROUTINE by actually going to bed by 11pm and not getting on my phone. The REWARD will be evident in me feeling better, not feeling sleep deprived and having more energy, and being more productive at my internship, job, and school. This new habit will obviously 100% contribute to my GOAL of being successful without dragging myself to do so!

What habit would you like to take up to create a positive change in your life? Maybe it’s academic, maybe you want to drink water with lunch, exercise for an hour a day, stretch and meditate when you wake up; it can be anything! Definitely moving forward I’m going to try out the 3 R’s system and see how it’s going to benefit me in making the changes I want to and forming new habits that affect me positively.

I challenge you to start your new habit TODAY and together we will embark on a 21- day challenge. I choose 21 because that seems to be the universal minimum lol.

In three weeks, I’m checking in on you to see if your new habit has begun to come naturally to you. I’m so excited!!! The article I shared with you is pretty long, but I say– as pre-work to the challenge– give it a read (or a skim if that works better for you lol) and don’t forget: Reminder, Routine, Reward!!

 

Love, Neffi