For my Unit 1 essay, the most frequent comments I got were positive, a lot of people let me know if my point came across clearly and some could even relate to the topic I chose. Some people didn’t know about “art block”, so reading my essay let them know what it was about and how it felt like. I asked them if they understood my feelings of burnout, and thankfully they understood what I was trying to say and describe. I’d like to revise this essay by creating a more formed structure to it, I feel like it’s a bit all over the place and I should create a flow to it. I talk about personal experience with social media but to me, the jump seems large, and I should flesh out the social media part of the essay since it’s a very important contributor to the feelings of burnout. I would also like to wrap up this essay more properly tying in the personal experiences and social media experience with art as a digital artist.
As for my Unit 2 essay, the most frequent comments I got were about my topic, many were very understanding towards the topic I was discussing. It is a reoccurring problem in media for cultures to be misinterpreted (due to improper research) or underrepresented properly. The 3 reboots I talk about display examples of whitewashing and improper research. I feel like in my revision I need to talk less about one of my examples and switch to another focus, Winx: The Fate Saga and Death Note were my main two examples but I think now I should blend the two and then discuss/introduce Mulan (2020) as another main example. Winx had whitewashed two characters that were heavily coded as Asian and Hispanic, while Death Note had completely changed the setting of the story and whitewashed the majority of the cast to “attract a certain audience”, which is absolutely wrong thing to do especially with their given intention. These both are prime examples of whitewashing that I can display as a section of my essay, where Mulan (2020) can represent the misrepresentation of culture in media, this section can come right after the “Whitewashing” section. I think this creates a better structure for my essay, allowing the topics to bounce off from one another and flow onto the next part.
My problem is that I feel like I can convey my message more strongly this way without sounding all over the place. I want to gather more sources to describe the issues of whitewashing and lack of representation, I feel like I can find my own words if I research and find more articles about it, I want to be able to go into depth and let the readers understand why things such as representation are so important. I have already gathered good sources of the examples I wanted to discuss but now, how do I use them to convey the bigger point I’m trying to get across? This topic is so important so I don’t want to let it down, I want to be able to successfully inform others about it. Questions I will ask during our one-on-one conference are if my ideas for my revision sound like improvements and if I should go for it. I would also ask for some suggestions that you think would improve my essays.