Ali Ahmed

02-23-2016

ENG 1121 – D465

7 points of peer review

1. Remi have a good opener which is connected to the thesis and his opening quote is “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world” by Nelson Mandela.
2. Remi have a good thesis with three subtopic which is “It involves getting the motivation to research and determine the right school for major, applying for admission, enrolling in class, and balancing work schedule.
3. Remi have four subtopics which is: 1) Right school for major, 2) Applying for admission, 3) Enrolling in class, and 4) Balancing work schedule.
4. Remi missing a topic sentence on his first paragraph but 2nd, third and fourth have good topic sentences which connected to his subtopic. For examples in his 3rd paragraph he wrote “Class enrollment didn’t go smoothly as I expected as much of the classes were full and I had to settle for unfavorable class schedules times.
5. Remi have few translation phrases, for example in third paragraph he have translation phrase which is: “Finally, I was able to chose New York City College of Technology to get my Bachelor’s Degree in Radiologic Technology.
6. Remi have good grammers but also have few mistakes. For example, he have good sentence without grammar mistake which is in his third paragraph “I took the first step by begin researching for the right school that will fit and offer my desired major.  
7. Remi’s conclusion was ok but not that good because he related to thesis but he didn’t connected to his ideal world.