I was born here in the U.S by hispanic parents both of my parents were from El Salvador which is my second home country so they both talk Spanish and not lot of English.As a kid I would of course be talking English a lot because thats what I started to learn at first in school but I had problems at home.In my house my parents talk Spanish to each other so I was always telling my mum,”mum talk English!”.Which I always said as a kid cause I never understood what they were saying.So as aid I always talked English to them even though my parents respond in Spanish,I never understood why they talked to e in Spanish even though I don’t understand till one day I finally found out why.One day I was in a bad mood from school and was talking just English to my parents but they sated to talk even more and Spanish and just from what I kinda learned in Spanish I said,”mum why do you talk to me in Spanish even though I don’t need it”thats when she sat me down and said “what would you do if we go to El Salvador would you understand what your uncles and grandparents would say?” and thats when that crossed my mind how I was living into worlds at the same time.
As I grew up I started to think about what my mother said that day so I kinda started t learn lil Spanish till one day I actually got a chance to go to my other home El salvador on that day I was very confused because I saw things hear things which didn’t make sense to me.At first I was very lost because I didn’t understand but than I started to talk more thanks to what I learned and I actually started to understand what was going on around me and I could properly talk to people over there.As years went by I have already know enough about my other side of me and Spanish but when I went to high school thats where things got a lil confusing for me,I was mixed with a part bilingual class in which kid who just arrived here to the school which didn’t speak English I was very confused why I was placed in this class because that would mean I would have to wait for them to understand.I met many people who talked Spanish and well I didn’t talk to them even though I knew how I just felt kinda misplaced a bit.I know how to talk it just they were born from it so if I say something wrong I might get laughed at because thats how I felt when I visited El Salvador but they actually understood how I felt and actually helped me to understand more about my other world and I felt glad I did.So from what I learned it was good to learn because that way i could feel and understand the pain and challenges my parents felt when they got here in the U.S I was just living it backwards and that what made me proud to have two worlds because that way I can be the first of the family to go to college.
Brian: You do a good job of telling me about the confusion you feel going between the Spanish speaking world of your parents and your extended El Salvadorean family and being in your American world. I sympathize because I too felt this confusion with my Chinese parents and my own limited Chinese language ability. Very confusing!
GOING FORWARD WITH THIS FREE WRITE:
Your free write deals with the difficulty and confusion of belong to two worlds of different languages. Look to the Amy Tan essay Mother Tongue to see how one writer usese dialogue and descriptive scenes in an interesting way.
You now need to develop further by creating scenes, adding dialogue, and better explanations.
Now Clarify: What exactly was your Spanish language ability? You say your parents spoke to your in Spanish but you didn’t understand, so how did you communicate with your folks? Do you understand Spanish but not speak it? Then if you learned English from school, did you feel that your English was less than perfect? How did you feel in that world of English and school?
You write: One day I was in a bad mood from school and was talking just English to my parents but they sated to talk even more and Spanish. [Here is a good place to makeyour writing come alive by creating a scene. Who said what? Give me the exact words, write the dialogue and interchange, with showing your feelings of confusion here.]
You write: [capital here — O]ne day I actually got a chance to go to my other home El salvador on that day I was very confused because I saw things hear things which didn’t make sense to me.At first I was very lost because I didn’t understand but than I started to talk more. [Show me with a scene and dialogue and some explanation of how you felt. Did you feel happy, triumphant, that you could actually speak more Spanish than you thought, and that you could communicate with cousins, grandparents? Did you feel more El Salvadorean? Like you belonged in that world?]
You write: I was mixed with a part bilingual class in which kid who just arrived here to the school which didn’t speak English I was very confused why I was placed in this class. [explain more clearly. How did you get placed here? How did the school determine that you were ESL if as you say you spoke English from the first? Was your English not perfect? If yes, why? Does having non-English speaking parents at home disadvantage your own English language ability? Amy Tan writes about this – do you agree? This might be a place to interject your opinion and make a connection to one of the readings. Remember, you are asked to make a connection to one of the readings in this first Unit One Essay Assignment. It’s part of the assignment as outlined in the instructions.]
You write: if I say something wrong I might get laughed at because thats how I felt when I visited El Salvador but they actually understood how I felt and actually helped me to understand more about my other world and I felt glad I did [Explain this fear of getting laughed at, both in the bi-lingual class and with your family in El Salvador. Don’t just tell me, show me! Make this real so your reader can relate and feel for you.]
I like your ending words: “made me proud to have two worlds. . . “ You show that you felt good, happy, proud about your two different identities, as if you have resolved the conflict between these two different parts of YOU. Can you develop this as an ending?
Finally moving forward: As you move to Essay #1, you now need to develop an actual story–a story with conflict and a true beginning, middle, and end. What one or two transformational events have been important in your Educational Narrative?
One event/memory could be: your interaction with parents at home with your mixed languages realizing you were in two different worlds? Another: your time with family in ESalvador. ANother: your belinguagl classroom….etc….choose two or three events to focus on.