Author Archives: JBanschick

Jacob Banschick – Second Proposal

User Group:  The entirety of humanity

This idea will not only benefit you and me, but the entirety of the human race. And I can guarantee, a majority of people would be interested in undergoing such a procedure. Ethical dilemmas be dammed!

Design Problem: D̸ę͢a͡t̕͡h̵̴́

Since the dawn of humanity, mankind has been plagued with one indisputable outcome: People be dyin’. Alot.

Infact, a staggering 100% of people who are born, eventually die. Can you think of anything else that occurs 100% of the time? I can’t. And I’ve done loads of research. Like, a really big amount of research. Not to mention all the other ravages of the human body, such as cancers, various diseases, fractured limbs, paralysis, and those are only naming a few!

Motivation: ALSO D̸ę͢a͡t̕͡h̵̴́

Now personally, I myself am not dead. Though, I do know of many who are dead! In fact, I myself will inevitably die! I don’t know about you, but those kinds of results are inexcusable. Shoddy work, humanity. You can do better.

Solution: Brains in Robot Bodies

I propose a robotic shell, superficially identical to the human body in every way. However on the inside, it’s loaded with all that science and mechanical engineering has to offer. Your brain would be suspended in a biogel that would provide necessary nutrition and oxygen. And because it would no longer suffer the ravages of tumors, blood clots, or oxygen deprivation, your brain is essentially immortal!

Outcome: A new cyborg world order! With immortality in our hands, a new age of prosperity and innovation will sweep the earth! Health hazards will become things of the past, and sources of energy the pesky FDA deem “unhealthy” or “deadly” will become a non-issue! Space, aquatic, and subterranean exploration will advance in ways we couldn’t possibly fathom! World Hunger? More like World What-are-we-going-to-do-with-all-this-excess-food…-ger! And my plan to hardwire all of the worlds minds to a central network will ensure I will have a massive, loyal robot army to overtake the galaxy you can use Facebook with your eyes! Hurray science!