Write Out Loud!

Final Revision Ideas – Julian Ruiz

After looking at some of the work I have done in the pass, there are many things that I want to fix. One key things is all the silly grammar and run on sentences I possibly made on the work. I want my work to be clear of mistakes. I want my work to be easily understood by everyone so they can see what I was thinking while writing. To be honest, there are many things I would want to revise. Possibly, the big thing I want to do is expand on the ideas I have created. I want to add more to it so it can feel more fleshed out. I want people to gain a message when reading the essay that I wrote. I don’t want it to be a story. I just want it to be an inspiration.

To create my portfolio, I need to write something that can connect with people. Something they can sympathize with. When writing my portfolio, I want the people reading it to get a clear message of what I’m trying to write and tell them. I want people to remember my writing as if it wear a memory. When writing, I am going to use multiple pieces of figurative language because I want to have the portfolio feel fun. I don’t like it when writing is boring so a key thing I like to do is keep my writing fun. The last thing I am going to do is not have any grammar mistakes and run on sentences because I want to keep my portfolio “short and simple”.

1 Comment

  1. Jacquelyn Blain

    I think you have terrific intentions for your revision work. I looked at the Education Narrative, and I would suggest you take a look at the comments I left at the very end. If you’re wanting to do more with figurative language, then adding more to the descriptions is exactly the way to do it. Reading out loud, like Donald Murray suggests in “The Maker’s Eye” will also help you find where the sentences end and periods are necessary to help the reader really understand what you’re trying to say. But you’re very thoughtful and have a good feel for what you need to do.

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