Tag Archives: happiness

“Yes, Filter”

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Have you ever had a conversation with someone and felt emotionally drained after?
You listened to them complain and complain and eventually you felt worse than them?
Or let’s get even more real.
Have you ever walked into your job or any place, and had to talk to a certain someone and it’s almost as though immediately there was a dark cloud over you?
That’s called picking up unwanted energies.

I find that lately there has been too many moments where I’ve had to work super hard to protect my energy. I don’t watch the news much. Not because I don’t like what’s on it, but I just don’t watch TV much period. Especially not at 7pm, or 11pm, or whatever time the news comes on lol. I watched it the other night; it kind of just happened, and honestly, I felt emotionally drained after. From hearing the latest of our current administration’s agenda to literally rip away civil liberties, freedoms, and the rights of people who occupy this already “great” America. To the unresolved situation with the young girl from Chicago, Kenneka Jenkins. Then on to visuals of the damage caused by the recent hurricane disasters, all piled in with your everyday violence.
In this hour long news reporting I can only recall maybe one uplifting segment.
All I could think to myself is “What is this? A horror show??”

I went from sad, to angry, to over it, to angry, to sad again, and I couldn’t shake it. It’s an eye opening experience to watch all of these occurrences from the comfort of my own home and think “This could be my cousin. This could be my sister, my brother, a friend……Could this be me??” and it becomes unexplainable how the possibility of something like that makes you feel. You hear the victim’s families talk about how much of a great person the victim was, or how the entire situation was a “wrong place, wrong time” occurrence, and it really finds a way to hit home.

It reminded me why I never really care to watch the news.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to “block out” all of the bad news of the world, that’s most likely impossible. I make sure to stay up on current events and topics worldwide.
I just filter.
I consciously monitor what I am taking in and putting out emotionally and mentally.

You know how “No filter” is one of the OG veterans of Instagram captions?
In my life I say “YES filter”. I filter out negative conversations, negative thoughts, and I release anything that does not serve me well. I filter IN love, mantras, optimism, happiness, shared laughter, positive affirmations, positive people, positive situations, and anything that makes me smile.

I was not always in the place I am today. I have had to let go of many people and many things I used to enjoy partaking in along the way….casualties of the filter. I had to be dedicated to being my own life’s gatekeeper. Watching the news a few nights ago, I felt pity and helpless seeing some of the situations I was watching. I was filtering it in, in a negative way; which is something I used to do (and still sometimes do) naturally; take on everyone’s issues as my own instead of finding productive ways to help with them.
I took in these transferred unwanted energies and let it plant its seeds and grow.

Now when I think of protecting spiritual and mental energies, I use these analogies:

  1. Only light gets rid of darkness. Picture yourself as a huge lighthouse sending out positive light and love in all directions, everywhere you go, to everyone you meet, to every space you occupy, near and far.
  2. Stop being a negativity sponge, soaking it all up, allowing it to bloat you, and then waiting to either dry up or be squeezed out aggressively.

So instead of allowing the news, or anything else for that matter, depress me or dim my light, I think of ways to send love and positivity. Lighthouses help people find their way, help them feel safe and guided. When someone is experience darkness you do not go dark with them, you help them see light. Someone is unable to tell their family they love them today, I’ll make sure to tell mine. Someone is unable to hug their friend or sleep in a warm bed, I’ll be sure to be thankful and grateful every day, and pour love and happiness back into everyone and everything I can.

What’s in your life that you know you should have cut ties with a long time ago yet still haven’t? Filter out grudges, animosity, complaining, self-doubt, negative beliefs and comments about others, and instead filter in all things positive. Fill your mind with encouraging and loving words. The best way to protect yourself from negative energy is to be a source of positive energy yourself. My counseling professor said in class last week “Anytime you are talking about someone, speak as though they are standing right behind you” and it really put into perspective some things for me. It affirmed my belief that having the right mindset will serve as it’s own filter for what you put out into the universe.

It’s very important to create a foundation of awareness of the energy we’re encountering on a daily basis in our lives. We need to use our filter to cleanse, ground, and protect us from energies that are darker, heavier, and more negative.The better our filter is working, the more we become the people we strive to be; our best selves, living our best lives. If you don’t believe me, try it, watch your life blossom baby!

 

Major Key Alert!!

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Welcome to Fall ‘17! Another semester closer to your degree, push through y’all!
I know we’re all anxious to get our syllabi so we can start to map out what our next few months are going to look like. But first I want you to do something really quickly. Find the nearest clock, or your phone, and take note of the time.
Ok.
Now I want you to take the next 5 minutes to think about or write down (I prefer writing) all the things that make you happy and that make you smile. It can be people, places, things, feelings, whatever…go ahead, I’ll be right here.
I hope you did it and didn’t just keep reading to see where this was going lol.
What are some of the things that took over your mind?
Wasn’t it almost like watching a movie?
My 5 minutes consisted of my family, especially my 6-year-old niece Sanaa who gives me my entire LIFE.
I mean honestly look at this face!!!
I thought of a moment last week where she said she can’t wait to go to college so I can “teach her how to get A’s”. *tear*
I thought of my graduation day in the future, my job, my family, music I listened to on the train this morning, my birthday that just passed, all the moments I’ve made my parents proud, my circle of dope friends, and the fact that I was blessed enough to even wake up today. After the Hurricane Harvey devastation in Texas we witnessed over the weekend, it made me happy and grateful to have a comfortable home to return to later.
Every time I take some time out of my day to self reflect, one of the things that makes me happy in my life is my name: Nefertiti. After a lifetime of horrible mispronunciation and butchering (you can only imagine what middle school was like for me lol) I decided to go by my nickname Neffi. Despite the “adjustment” I’m very happy with my name because of the history it holds and the connection I feel to it. Nefertiti, as you may know, was a powerful Egyptian Queen and ironically my zodiac sign is Leo. So that also connects me to the representation of a lioness which is the queen of the jungle.
Having this name has motivated me to hold myself to a certain standard and I feel proud and honored knowing Nefertiti was a queen. My name and the history behind it is a reflection of the high standards my parents had for me while naming me. My mother says my father told her to give me a name that means Queen.They set that intention in me from birth and that plays as a goal setter in my life daily.
Taking time out to recognize things that make us happy and makes us smile usually makes us feel it in that moment. That moment is where we get to re-charge and motivate ourselves. It can be that shift you need at that right time. Right before you took these 5 minutes maybe you were stressed about something, having an off day, not in the mood, or maybe you just had a lot on your mind. When you start to feel that negative vibe coming on think about times where you almost gave up…what pushed you??
What kept you going?
What motivates you to continue your journey?
Whatever THAT is, that’s your major key. Your “major key” is just what it sounds like..The key to your success. The key to your piece of mind and happiness. The key to you pushing through everyday, especially the hard ones.
As we’re preparing for new challenges that may come with a lot of stress, a heavy workload, time management challenges, long days and sleepless nights; you have to tap into these escapes as often as possible.
Take at least 5 minutes daily to reflect and appreciate yourselves and the things that keep you going. Yes this class or new responsibility may be the death of you but look how far you’ve come. Acknowledge your potential and what you’re capable of. Look at what you’ve accomplished so far, helloooo you got this 🙂
Elevate your mood, elevate your life.

 

Virtues from Motherhood: Family is key

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When I say family naturally I mean those who are related to you, parents siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins, but I also mean people who although absent of biological connection still feel like a family member. The people who’ve known you your entire life, helped raise you or even silently routed for you from the sidelines are the people who see the best in you. People who see the best in you bring out the best in you.

Over the past decade I’ve learned that family really is everything. Though I pushed them away and alienated them in my teen years they’ve still been a constant in my life. At every holiday, birthday party and get together and through every family crisis or hard time they offered a helping hand and a year ago as I walked across the stage to get my first college degree I realized that all the people that I chose over my family were notably absent from my graduation, my family was there. So as my 26th birthday approached I thought more and more about how I wanted to celebrate it. At first to be honest I didn’t really want to celebrate it at all I just wanted to relax after a really long 6 months of working and going to school. After some more thought though and the warm summer sun peaking put I decided I’d throw myself a BBQ and have my family and just handful of friends over to celebrate, laugh and just relax. I could have planned a night on the town and gotten dressed up but I truly did not feel like doing it because not only had I done it for every birthday since I turned 21 I was just lazy.

So I bought some BBQ food, some snacks, a few drinks and got to work. It was the first event I had planned for myself that every person I invited RSVP’d and showed up, it was also the first family gathering where I invited more than one friend and didn’t cringe when everyone co-mingled. It was truly a great experience and so worth the time and money that went into it because instead of a fancy dinner in a room of mostly strangers I was at my house, with my family and friends, enjoying the weather and one another and after I had cleaned up the yard, put away the tables and closed the lights I realized I felt light, happy and I was thankful.

As I’ve gotten older I have learned countless things, sometimes the hard way, but mostly I’ve learned that family is forever and some people despite not being related are family and are stronger forces in your life regardless of how long they’ve been there. Life weaves together this tremendous basket for us, one that keep store our keepsakes in; life lessons, memories, fears and ambitions. In the fabric of that basket, woven deep within the stitches lie the people who’ve helped create the basket, both past and present. However some people weave stronger stitches in our basket than others and are part of our main stays. These are the people I want to celebrate birthdays with and these are the people that make me smile and drag me out of the house when I least feel like it. Though I am far from perfect, no human being is really, I can say that I’m happy with a low key celebration as I age because memories like that will live on for me for years to come. Family is constant, supportive friends are crucial and I am lucky enough to say I have both and for that I’m tremendously thankful.