Author: Haifa (Page 2 of 2)

Life change” People tend to face difficulties and challenges in their lives. Through experiences, they can create a better understanding of themselves. Some experiences change us for the better, others are regrettable. It is a human way of understanding , as individuals, to either learn and take them as a lesson or fall back. This is  life. About 19 years , I had a life changing experience, I was in a place called Aden. Aden is a city in Yemen. I heard mom speaking to dad with her phone. Dad married when he was 16; and left to live in  the USA. When she was talking she smiled. As if she were welcoming a new world with an effective smile.  And for the first time in my life I felt safe and secure. I knew that she was going to be fine with dad and that life was going to keep going for her. I was so young at the time, I didn’t seem to care about traveling .Tears rushed down my face, knowing that she was happy. However,  I felt happy for her. I was so glad that she finally found the happiness that she deserved.

Lending to the USA airport . The plane was  tiring. I see women dressed differently than  women in my home country. And I see women and men walking while holding hands. I didn’t understand but I am very confused. Why is that? I have never been in a place where people do that. At 5pm dad finally arrived with a taxi. We went to his apartment  and then called to get a pizza. We had fun getting to know the family. Then dad was leaving work and my mom was sleeping. I am so tired but I can’t sleep. I keep thinking about how different everything is here. I feel like I am in a dream. I am wishing everything will be better. But I am not sure what the future will bring. I am tired. I want to bed

3 weeks have passed and I’m still stressed and confused about how things run in here. Dad petted my head and told me that everything is going to be fine. And next week I’ll start school. I’m glad that it’s going to be a new experience and that I’m going to make new friends. I’m even happier that I have new goals to aim for. So I guess it’s time for me to start a new life and make the best out of it. I hope that I can find comfort and joy in my new life. I’m ready for the struggles and challenges that are going to come my way. I can do this. I will do this.

The real experience starts here. My first day of school was at 8:30 am. Mom got ready and we headed to the car. And then we are on our way to school. Mom looked at me in the mirror. and she says, “Haifa you’re going to be okay “. And she kissed my head and wished me luck. and then we drove to school. and it was beautiful. and we walked inside  the building. I was nervous. But mom and dad were just by my side. and I was a little bit scared. but I had nothing to be scared about. There were many kids there. and I’ll be fine.

Inside the class was full with students  that were all playing. 2 girls rushed my way . I was a bit confused, the girls were wearing a yellow T shirt that had a blue skirt. They started saying: “Hi what’s your name?” . I stared  at them and moved my head not knowing what they were saying. The tall girl  then said: “Oh I am Jessica, this is my friend, Want to play with us. I still can’t  understand but Jessica’s friend grabbed the toys and ran to my side showing me them. I grabbed the toys and then she started playing with me. The friend then said: I think she can’t speak English. And I smile in English. Later that day I was home and I said to mom I can’t help  this. I can’t understand anything students say. What am I apparently learning? Mom said it takes time sweetie.

Years later, in middle school. Still jassi with me. And not only I understand when she talks but also when she curses. I’m not saying that learning English was hard but leaving to a different place and  knowing anybody but my family was a different experience. I was so scared and anxious that my mind was set into overdrive, I was trying to remember everything that I was taught at school. I had to remember everything from a language that I barely knew. It was hard and i wanted to go back but i kept trying.

I’m walking in a desert. Orange shades fill everywhere. My throat grows drier and my whole body aches. “Aaaah,” I screamed as I fell. I open my eyes and feel sweat rushing through my body and my heart beating rapidly. “Another falling dream.” I sigh. I look at my phone. 6:03 am it reads. No, I didn’t make it on time I thought. Kicking my white blanket off of me, I rush to do ablution. I put on clean clothes that cover everywhere except my face and hands. Then, I perform prayer. This room is dark with little light coming through my window. Its single window lets in only a sliver of light. It’s amazing how dark, considering it is morning. still, my window barely glows. I sit on my praying mat after I finish praying and start remembering. Remembering (Allah) God every morning protects me and makes me ready for the day. It’s 6:25 am now. I want to go back to sleep, but I can’t, so I recite Quran for ten minutes.

I still have an hour before I have to leave to go to college. I grab my phone and start scrolling through my Mail. Realized I haven’t finished reading chapter two for my government class. “Huff,” this needs to be done so I can submit the extra credit later I think. 30 minutes later; I set up my coffee machine and while waiting for it I went to change. “Where is my black hijab” I shouted at my litter sister. “Never mind I found it”. I grabbed my coffee and bag, creaking and opening my door. Running to my bus before it leaves because I’m always not on time. Huff huff!  I try to catch my breath. “Good morning,” I said to my bus driver.

By 7:50 I would be standing next to my Algebra class door. Lights turned off and the hallways quiet. Enjoying my music with high volume. “You guys could go in, no need to wait out here”. The professor explained and we all walked in. I hope this day end will. Boosting myself and feeding my brain a positive thought before I start.

Anxiety. This word would describe the feeling I’m getting from this course. It’s been 2 years since high school, and I haven’t been writing for a while. Even if I wrote sometimes, theirs no trainer that would rectify my writing. winter vacation wasn’t a big thing for me. I started working and new plans were created which were way more useful than last year.  The only concern for this semester is the idea that here I am writing again with the feeling Overwhelmed and nervous. I lowkey prefer in-person because I get lazy when it’s online. Facing the computer and attempting to do your assigned work for like an hour and sitting in the same spot doesn’t encourage me to do work. This is just a challenging way for me to comprehend. However, I’m optimistic and willing to see how would this new opportunity turn out

Choose this picture because I’m taking the positive side of this course. The mindset of positive thoughts would keep me motivated.