As an asian American, I always feel me as an alien. There are many reason to feel like that one of them is Language barrier. Language difficulties faced by international students are varied and different depending on where they are from. I faced such kind of problem because I came from Bangladesh when I was grade nine. After I started my school at nine grade this country , I was passing my school longly and with board feeling because I couldn’t speak English like American student did. I had no friend ,I was scared to talk, I didn’t know how to make friends with new foreign students, how was their culture.
I was trying to talk with them but they ignored me. The only reason is the language. It was hard to learn American pronunciation . I aimed that I had to learn American language without any coast. I could not practice at home because all of my family member speak bangle language like me . I used to go to after school to learn the proper language after finished my regular class . With in few months I was able to speak English and making friends with my classmates.
Farhana: This needs to be longer, more developed. What you have written is too short. You need to create some scenes with description and details. Is there a memory that sticks out in your mind of a time you were trying to speak English with these other students who had similar international family backgrounds? Is there a memory of being in that afterschool class where you practiced English?
Your goal is to show how a particular aspect of your educational experience shaped you to become who you are today. Choose a single transformative event or memory or a set of transformative events or memories that influenced you.
You need to write an actual story–a story with conflict and a true beginning, middle, and end. Mine your memory (yes, like digging for gold!) for one significant event or a significant set of related events that has been important in your Educational Journey and that has shaped who you are today. Be selective and choose the best memories!
I COPY YOUR WRITING HERE WITH my comments in brackets:
As an asian American, I always feel me as an alien. There are many reason to feel like that one of them is Language barrier. Language difficulties faced by international students are varied and different depending on where they are from. I faced such kind of problem because I came from Bangladesh when I was grade nine.
[New Paragraph]
After I started my school at nine grade this country , I was passing my school longly [what does longly mean? Better word] and with board [bored] feeling because I couldn’t speak English like American student did. [Good place to create a scene: where were you? Library? lunch room? What were your feelings, thoughts about this language barrier?] I had no friend, I was scared to talk [show your exact thoughts like a monologue going through your head] I didn’t know how to make friends with new foreign students, how was their culture. [keep going same paragraph] I was trying to talk with them but they ignored me. [yes more of this. Are you trying to make friends with students like you whose parents come from another country, or with Americans? Were you using English with them – show me how this type of convo went Describe what happened when you talked. What did they say, how did you answer, describe this awkward situation, was it funny or sad or just weird — show me this memory with description and details.]
[NEW PARAGRAPH] The only reason is the language. It was hard to learn American pronunciation . I aimed that I had to learn American language without any coast [cost]. I could not practice at home because all of my family member speak bangle language like me . I used to go to after school to learn the proper language after finished my regular class . [describe after school class and what were the new skills you learned?] With in few months I was able to speak English and making friends with my classmates. [show how you could speak better English now. Then, reflect: What have you learned about yourself?]
There are some scenes in my school life in this country. I remember one day’s incident, one day I was walking through the corridor of our high school and looking the gym room then I saw few classmates were hang out there. I asked them about gym room but they didn’t understand my question. They repeatedly asked same question what?
They all were laughing here about my question because they couldn’t understand. That was so embarrassing to me and I was so upset. At afternoon class I learned a lot of technique to learn English with American pronunciation. Such as watching English movie with subtitles, reading, newspaper, taking English at my home with my family members. I was practicing those and still doing that to learn English as an American. That’s why now I go to admit this well known college. I feel proud to be a student of this college.