It’s a major challenge and stress when you’re consistently feeling like you pacing back and forth between two different worlds. I continuously fight with my inner self and outer self about 85% of my day about how I will be judged externally about my fashion decisions, what I choose to wear that day whether I look, nice, slutty, etc. Internally I encourage myself to make myself feel good by the end of the day I still haven’t made any decision on anything bc I’ve been fighting the thoughts in my head all day. Situations like these made me develop less confidence in myself due to the thoughts of being judged as well as the thoughts of wearing it to feel good about myself. But being viewed differently has been the main issue which is why the thoughts are stronger and harder to fight. As much as part of myself leads to addressing the issue it never tends to work out.
Proud to say that this past year I’ve worked on that a lot better than I’ve dealt with the issue in the past. I choose not to make the decision as complicated as it has to be and I just simply choose not to argue between my inner self and outer self. Allowing yourself to accept situations you tend to overthink about is a source of exercise to practice to begin to not care. Sometimes it may be a pro and others a con but hey you teaching yourself to accept things in other ways you might’ve not expected. I would proudly say that is a huge accomplishment for me because for me it does tend to become harder to teach myself to just take things for what it is. There’s only one world and you’re currently living in it its okay to get judged that just means your doing the right things.
That’s great! I can personally attest to how easy it is for you to argue with yourself when it comes to doing what you want compared to how you feel people will judge for that choice. But eventually, you have to do what’s best for you.
I 100% agree with you, at times it’s so difficult going back and forth with yourself. And I relate to you, I used to struggle with how I looked and dressed a lot back in high school, and even now there are still some bad days for me. Learning to accept yourself and your choices take time, but I’m glad you’ve been working on it.
“Inner self vs outer self” thats a conflict I face everyday. I agree with you, accept the situation to overcome.
Leslie: You need to write more. You need more clarity> Be more clear. What are the two worlds? Name them –
THen create a scene to SHOW me, to tell me the story with Concrete SPecific Details. Read the example essays I shared.
NOW just a few suggestions:
It’s a major challenge and stress when you’re consistently feeling like you pacing back and forth between two different worlds. I continuously fight with my inner self and outer self about 85% of my day about how I will be judged externally about my fashion decisions, what I choose to wear that day whether I look, nice, slutty, etc. Internally I encourage myself to make myself feel good by the end of the day I still haven’t made any decision on anything bc I’ve been fighting the thoughts in my head all day. [SHOW Me the inner dialogue. WHAT do you say to yourself? WHERE WHEN do you think these thoughts? In your bedroom in the morning in front of mirror? WHAT do people say to you – at school? WHERE?] Situations like these [WHAT situation – YOU need to show me with a Scene with CSD!] made me develop less confidence in myself due to the thoughts of being judged as well as the thoughts of wearing it to feel good about myself. But being viewed differently has been the main issue which is why the thoughts are stronger and harder to fight. As much as part of myself leads to addressing the issue it never tends to work out.
Proud to say that this past year I’ve worked on that a lot better than I’ve dealt with the issue in the past. I choose not to make the decision as complicated as it has to be and I just simply choose not to argue between my inner self and outer self. Allowing yourself to accept situations you tend to overthink about is a source of exercise to practice to begin to not care [Yes good point! Overthinking can be obsessive.] . Sometimes it may be a pro and others a con but hey you teaching yourself to accept things in other ways you might’ve not expected. I would proudly say that is a huge accomplishment for me because for me it does tend to become harder to teach myself to just take things for what it is. There’s only one world and you’re currently living in it its okay to get judged that just means your doing the right things.
WHAT are these two worlds? These two different identities of you? NEED A PHRase to describe the two worlds!
The artistic fashion conscious woman vs. the WHAT IS THE OTHER WORLD / OTHER ID_____? Make this clear.