These words I have heard so many times,”why are you so quiet?” This has led to a lot of people thinking that I am mute or something but the thing is, I just don’t speak a lot around people I don’t know I would rather just avoid contact. There is something calming in being alone, no outside interruptions, just me, my phone, my AirPods playing music and a corner where people can’t easily find me. This way of thinking also shows when I am around family as well, at get togethers I would just say my hellos then get some food and go to my cousins room to be alone. There was this one time when I went to my aunts house for my great grandmothers birthday I had taken that day off of work just so that I could go. All of my family members were either in the sun room in the living room or at the dining table. When we first got there I was asked to help set up for the party before my grandmother and my great grandmother arrived. At this time I was in the kitchen when they came, as soon as they arrived I said my hellos then disappeared into my aunts basement away from my cousins so that I could be alone and put my AirPods in, I was unbothered and at peace. In my aunts basement is pretty sizable so I had options on where I could sit at. What I chose was the swivel chair that was down there, I spent about a hour or two just looking at my phone and spinning around in the chair enjoying the silence.
That is only one side of me though, around my friends I become way more talkative. It’s almost like a switch got turned on, I went from being quiet to being extremely loud. They are the only ones I actually feel at calm with aside from my parents. Whenever we go out somewhere to hangout we all always like to play on the car ride there. We always have the music blasting loudly we shout out the words. There was this one time we when to skyzone for my friends birthday and to have some fun with my friend before he left for the navy. We were on the highway and the window was open because it was nice outside that night, I had the whole backseat of the car to myself, it was great. The breeze felt amazing and peaceful so much that it made me want to fall asleep. On the way there I asked for the aux cord so that I could put on some music when I plugged my phone in I immediately played fire in my soul by kay flock. All three of us were in the car vibing to the lyrics on the way there and I was shouting out the lyrics to each and every single song that I knew. For some reason my friends and family members are the only ones who see the more upbeat side of me, but I am fine with that and I hope that never changes because I don’t like people to know about me and what I do, I would rather just be alone.
Lots of good raw material here – NOW get it into SCENES with CSD. Make your story come alive for the reader. You already have good details now do a bit more!
Need a Title, maybe? The real me; the real unedited me.
These words I have heard so many times,”why are you so quiet?” [Suggestion to start with a SCENE HERE of someone saying WHY are you so quiet?]
The Real Me
“Why are you so quiet?”
I have heard this question so many times. And it leads to people thinking that I am mute, but the truth is I just don’t speak a lot around people I don’t know {PERIOD to fix RO RUN ON SENTENCE ERROR} I would rather just avoid contact. I live in two worlds. The world of the quiet me and the world of the expressive me. [THINK OF SOME BETTER WAY TO DESCRIBE THE TWO WORLDS OR THE TWO IDENTITIES. I just caem up with a quick solution.]
There is something calming in being alone, no outside interruptions, just me, my phone, my AirPods playing music and a corner where people can’t easily find me. This way of being [Suggested edit] also shows when I am around family as well, at get togethers I would just say my hellos then get some food and go to my cousins room to be alone.
Once my family had gathered at my aunts house for my great grandmothers birthday {. PERIOD} I had taken that day off of work just so that I could go. All of my family members were either in the sun room in the living room or at the dining table. [GREAT CSD!] When we first got there I was asked to help set up for the party before my grandmother and my great grandmother arrived. At this time I was in the kitchen when they came, as soon as they arrived I said my hellos then disappeared into my aunts basement away from my cousins so that I could be alone and put my AirPods in, I was unbothered and at peace. In my aunts basement is pretty sizable so I had options on where I could sit at. What I chose was the swivel chair that was down there, I spent about a hour or two just looking at my phone and spinning around in the chair enjoying the silence. [Did you eventually join the family party? Did you need the alone-time to gather the energy it takes for you to socialize? Were you better because of this time and able then to socialize with family? Give me an explanation of your need for this time alone.}
That is only one side of me though, around my friends I become way more talkative. It’s almost like a switch got turned on, I went from being quiet to being extremely loud. They are the only ones I actually feel at calm with aside from my parents. Whenever we go out somewhere to hangout we all always like to play on the car ride there. We always have the music blasting loudly we shout out the words.
One night in August {WHEN?} to skyzone for my friends {NAME HIM and 16th birthday – Need CSDetails!} birthday and to have some fun with my friend before he left for the navy. We were on the highway and the window was open because it was nice outside that night, I had the whole backseat of the car to myself, it was great. The [SUMMER SPRING – more CSD] breeze felt amazing and peaceful so much that it made me want to fall asleep. On the way there I asked for the aux cord so that I could put on some music when I plugged my phone in I immediately played fire in my soul by kay flock. All three of us were in the car vibing to the lyrics on the way there and I was shouting out {CREATE THIS SCENE. What were you singing? Give me the words you sang. Tell me the feeling of freedom etc WHATEVER. WHY THIS VERSION OF YOU is so different, so free and expressive} the lyrics to each and every single song that I knew.
For some reason my friends and family members are the only ones who see the more upbeat side of me, but I am fine with that and I hope that never changes because I don’t like people to know about me and what I do, I would rather just be alone.
In your essay you said “This way of thinking has led me to live a detached life from others which have helped me to realize my own faults and have made me into an open-minded person overall. The culture that I was forced to embrace from the day I was born has become clearer to me over time and helped me maintain a form of inner peace. Being this way has seeped into how I act at city tech as well, always in the back, never speaking much to others unless needed, and disappearing as soon as class is over. Being unbothered is perfect and I would never change it for the world.” I found this part interesting because it seems to me that you were able to find your balance in life and even being a quiet person, you were just doing your own thing but being open-minded to other things in life and it helped you come to a realization that you were too focused on your phone but you were oblivious on what’s going on around you.