Category: Module 1 – Literacy Narrative (Page 2 of 11)

Education for me is a scary thought. I never really succeeded in anything and barely passed. The word education is the darkness to the unknown due to the things I was left out on. The education I didn’t receive as an adolescent. That I continue to work on till this day.

The most terrifying subject was English. That was the class I never wanted to take. But I never understood why. On paper it’s every easy, you read, and write the things you learned about, but for me it was a class that I felt weird in. It takes me longer to read a page than most people, and when I finish reading, I can’t summarize on what I just read. Until I met the teacher who changed that. Mr. Schisselman was my junior year English teacher. I remember he made me read out loud, but the words of the paper I wasn’t familiar with I was nervous, scared, and horrified that I started to cry. At the end of class, he pulled me to aside and said we will work on it throughout the school year. Little by little I told him the things that happen when I read. And his advice was to read a page and write what you have learned if you can’t reread again. It worked a little bit, but you know as a teen it was hard to put in so much dedication into a class that felt so little compared to the real world at that age.

I grew up with bookworms. My mother was a literature major, and my sister was reading the Twilight Series and The Hunger Games at the age of nine. I felt behind, more embarrassed because here I am three years older and can’t read a book without being confused. So instead of pushing myself I just accepted my fate. My parents did force me to read but it never stuck. I was pushing myself once I turned seventeen. I was working at a tax office. I had to read and read and learn how to write a certain way. But the technique that my junior year English teacher taught me, that was on taking notes after reading the page. Which I changed it to taking notes on each paragraph that I read, helped me so much.

Everyone has struggles they have to overcome. Mine was being confidence in myself and being fearless through reading. Writing and reading has allowed me to meet such amazing and inspirational people who have given me the confidence to be able to become not only a better reader and writer but also a better person.  My journey getting here was a long strenuous process . It was not only difficult but sometimes embarrassing.  During my first year as a student in the United States, reading and writing was a weak point for me. It often took me a while to grasp ideas and words that were said.  As a kid I also had a slight stuttering problem but at the age of twelve it had gotten really worse and it become more and more easy to hear. My English teacher at the time was Ms. Casey. She was persistent in helping me over come this hurdle. After school I would go to her classroom, and she would help go over the things I had difficulty understanding.  We also went over the spelling and pronunciation of certain words I had troubles with. She was patience, and welcomed me with open arms if only she had a Martinelli apple juice next to her.  As time went on and our relationship had gotten stronger, she felt almost like a second mom to me.  She would ask if I had questions  in class , but also given  space and confidence I needed to be able to ask questions on my own.  After every session I also met with friend named Masai. He was smart,  funny and extremely charismatic.  He would help me review the things I went over with Ms. Casey. He was able to quickly come up with additional details about my reading and writing.  As time went on we became really close and we were both responsible for keeping each other in check  whenever one distracted or unfocused in class. After every session we would read the first 25 pages of Spiderman comic books. We always read exactly 25 pages because we believed that at the year 2025 we would move in together and create our own comic book store. We read almost all the Spiderman comic books because we loved Spiderman. It was our way of connecting.  Both Masai and Ms. Casey were huge reasons why I was able to read and write effectively back in middle and even till today.I I will be forever grateful.

A turning point in my education was my first year of high school.  A tall myelinated history teacher would change my attitude towards  education.  I remember it being the first week in her class and we were assigned a quiz. I definitely didn’t do my best on it. I scored very poorly and could remember the side stare she  gave when she returned the papers. The next day in class I sat at the back of the class because I was extremely embarrassed of my performance, but after class ended and a few self talk sessions later. I went over to her desk and asked her for some help. She looked at me and asked what my name was and I told her. She got suck on my last name as most people do,  and I had to pronounce it a few times for her to get it; but she loved my name and was it represented. She talked about her roots and we both found things in common.  She found  beautify in something that I never really accepted about myself because of the bullying I experience with it.  She was tough, funny and always knew which buttons to push to get the best out of me.  She often would called me out during class whenever I loosed focus and purposely asked me question she knew I didn’t  know the answers to, just to see how I  would react. She knew me better than I knew my self.  She brought out a more serious and focused version of my self which I need during that time . All in all she instilled in me confidence and helped me become a better student and better person she is Ms. Harry.

Writing has  honestly changed my life. Earlier this year I took on the habit of journaling. It was difficult at first because I lack the consistency to  key up with it.  As time went on I had slowly gotten better at it. Journaling instilled in me the skill of constancy, organization, vulnerability and being completely honest with myself.  I started out writing about the things I wanted to accomplish  each day and also outlined the chores I had for myself for the rest if the week.   I then added the things I was grateful for and small elements such as affirmations to  nourish a positive mindset. I wrote more about the things I wanted to accomplish in my life, such as my career choice, goals and who I wanted to become. I also wrote about my improving my confidence and things that threatened my confidence. I realized that for the only way my journey would be effective was to  honest with myself and talked about the things I deeply struggled with, and I did.  It was difficult but I really wanted to see results in myself. I continued to journal for months . I saw slight changes in my thought process and my overall view in life. I was more optimistic, less anxious about what the future would holds and more present with myself and who I was. During my early teen age years, I started to care about the opinions others had about me. I  wrote about my struggles with how others perceived body. I wrote about the pain it caused and reflected back on it. I asked myself questions and would respond to them with the answers that the greatest version of myself would say. I then wrote my responses and read them over and over again and till I didn’t feel the need to.  Journaling helped me be at peace with my past, more patient about what’s to come. It made me more open to ideals/suggestions about ways I could still improve my life.  To anyone struggling with a speech impediment or any other disorder or disabilities I want you to know that you loved, you are perfect just the way you are, and to also remember that what happen to you is never your fault.