Brandan Ramnandan
āAajeeā, Although I never knew it was spelled this way, is a word that will forever have so much meaning to me. I remember when I was younger and my parents first introduced our grandparents as āAajeeā & āAajahā. āAajee ” represents āGrandmaā in guyanese (On the fathers side). In my heart though, itās much more than just Grandma, sheās the woman who taught me and my brothers so much, and raised my father to be who he is today. Growing up, I would always say Aajah to my grandpa but I would always say Grandma to my grandmother, iām not exactly sure why but thatās the way I did things.
After losing my grandmother last year, the word Aajee means more to me than ever before. She was ill with Parkinson’s disease and Alzheimerās, now everytime I hear someone say Aajee, usually itās my little cousins, it almost tears me up because I automatically think of all the memories with her, especially my last, she held onto my finger and wouldnāt let go, I know she was going through the worst of pain inside and Iām glad sheās in a better place now but the memories I shared with you my Aajee I would never forget, thank you for being the best grandma you couldāve been, and thank you for showing us how truly strong you are with all you put up. Iāll never forget when we first found out she was getting sick and I called and she just kept repeating my name over and over, you can hear the pain in her voice as she was struggling to speak. Aajee I love you forever, and everything I do, one of my biggest reasons for doing them will be to make you proud.
The word is derived from a Language in āHindiā called āMarathiā and is written (ą¤ą¤ą„) or (Aji). Like I spoke about before, this word holds more meaning to me than just grandma. When I hear the word Aajee, I automatically think back, Far Rockaway, weāre outside riding our bikes, grandmaās inside getting food ready for us and my little cousins are trying to get my uncle to set the pool up, the smell of crab curry coming from the house window is amazing (crab is our favorite). Our grandma knew just the right things to do to make us have the most fun we possibly can.Ā At this moment iām feeling great, my body feeling great due to the summer time warmth, the ice cream trucks passing down the block reaches our ears and we go crazy running inside to ask āAajee can we get ice cream!!ā My grandma quickly trying to find us some cash so we can catch the truck before it leaves is probably the funniest part, sheās so sweet.Ā
After finishing up the ice cream we would go inside asking again if we can ride our bikes outside and my grandma would go āONLY AROUND THE BLOCKā. My grandparents house had a huge block around the house where you can ride around and come back right to the house but you have to go out the yard and down to the left youād see a hill curving right, if you go down the hill and follow it, youāll approach some trees where if you go through you can end up by the beach but usually weād just make a right and come right back around the block to this big circle where we always loved to just ride around on our bikes or even when someone was driving us. Looking above all you see is the planes from JFK going over the house, which was so annoying because MAN THESE PLANES ARE LOUD. If you look down youād see my feet pedaling on my bike as I roam around during the hot summer day. I always remember another time me and my brother saw a huge white dog when we went around the block and he followed us half way until he just disappeared into the woods. I didnāt know whether to be scared or mesmerized, but as a kid of course I just kept it moving.Ā
Even though I rarely used to call my grandma “Aajee” it’s still always going to have a deep meaning to me. Now everytime I hear the word “Aajee” , It reminds me of how strong my grandma truly was. In around 2018 she began to get sick, it hurts everytime I even try to think about just how much she was suffering. She was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease and Alzheimer’s, as time went on she continued to get progressively worse, she started off losing her memories and wouldn’t remember names or little things like she had the stove on and was cooking. My uncle even told me at random times at night she would get up and start cooking or try and leave the house, that scares me knowing she wasn’t in full control of what her body does and what her mind is thinking about. I remember when I had first spoken to her after she got sick and she just kept repeating my name over and over again “Brandan, Brandan, Brandan”. It was really hard to hear her that way cause her voice was so shaky and she just didn’t sound the same as before. Over time it got worse to the point where she would have to play with those toys and squeeze them in order to keep feeling in her hands and she wasn’t able to walk without assistance, until one morning she just was unresponsive and hadn’t woken up for a whole day, I’m glad we went to see her that day because that was the last time I saw my grandma breathing, i’ll never ever forget that day. My girlfriend always tells me, “she’s in a better place now” and it’s true, god took her and put an end to her suffering. Today March, 4th, would have been her 71st birthday and also her first birthday since she passed away, but even though she’s gone, I know she’s still here in spirit watching over us, and every move I make now is in the name of her, I hope I made you proud grandma.
Aajee will forever remain in our hearts until the end, Iām grateful that I have such great memories with her and that I was able to really think about how much weight the word Aajee truly carries with it, because you only get one Aajee, after that you donāt get another one. Iāll never forget her laugh, her smile, her jokes, her food, and the love she shared with her children and grandchildren. After she passed away, things weāre tough. It was really hard to accept the fact that one of the people who raised me is gone now and Iāll never get to see them again. Over time I began to accept it and realized sheās in a better place now. I wish I could feel the touch of when she held my finger and wouldnāt let go just one last time. This is the story about my Aajee, My Grandmother, and my definition of what an Aajee truly is.
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