Annotations: Annotations

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A new day will come and bring new possibilities, new possibilities will bring joy. This simple conception keeps us all pushing onward whether we realize it or not. It is as if we carry a fire within us that enables us to glimpse ahead, stare into fate, and keep trying. Many may assert it’s hope, a yearning for a desirable outcome. Yet I think it’s much more than just a yearning, but having faith in fate. You see, hope can die, but when you have faith in hope, it can never die. This beautiful sentiment has a name, it’s called having (امید) ümid. The word ümid is of Azeri-Turkish origin derived from Middle Persian. Ümid isn’t about being optimistic, but about faith. Faith in yourself, faith in your future, faith in your journey, and faith in the things that go amiss.

I recollect the day when I first heard this word. Once battling an ED, I couldn’t catch a glimpse of recovery and slowly felt as if I was turning into dust, soon to be blown away. It was a chilly night, the walls vibrated from the coldness, as I lay sprawled on my bed staring into the void. I heard the leaves knocking on my window, the chatters of the street, and the rain hitting the pavement. Then suddenly I felt the bed plunge. My mom sat beside me and took my hand in hers. Her face was radiant, yet her expression was teary. She smiled and comforted me, her hand stroking me assiduously. I felt my frigid body begin to warm up. I sat up and moved closer to her to lay my head against her shoulder. As I breathed, I caught subtle notes of sweet cherry blossoms and cedarwood probably coming from her perfume. Afterward, she started talking and reassured me that all I needed was ümid. As I listened, I felt darkness start to engulf us as the sky lost its color. Amidst the darkness, I sat and listened to my mom.