Jhene Aiko's explanation on her song "Triggered" which is part inspiration for my poem.

I’ve always wondered

What kind of mother I would be

Would I be strict?

Or would I be carefree?

I’ve always wondered

Would I love you to the moon and back?

Or will I be like my mom and dad

and lack

Certain qualities necessary to love a child?

Hmm.. nah, I never be that wild


Mom and Dad argued so much

When my sister and I came home from school

We never had much luck

I rarely seen them hug and kiss

They were just arguing mules

Days and years going of through this

I might as well have

Sunken myself into a deep abyss

Maybe I’ve said too much? Or maybe not

But you get the gist


In high school I got so many memories

Triggers and flashbacks of what used to be

And it made me act out

Not being the best student I that could be

Not pushing myself and seeing me at my best

My potential was there but I was just a mess

Hanging around the wrong crowd

Not caring about any consequence

But when I all came down,

I was on my own defense


I’ve always wondered

What kind of mother I would be

Would I be scared

because it’s all so new?

Would I be ecstatic after pushing you out

Enjoying my view?

A couple of my friends are new mothers

And sometimes I ask how it feels

They say it feels different than before

And sometimes they get the chills


One thing I do know

Is that you will be smart

You will not lack common sense

And you will have a heart

You are gonna look just like me

Beautiful eyes and curly hair

Oh, you never know the possibilities

Of what you and your siblings will look like

But one thing I do know

Is that you’ll definitely know how to ride a bike


Happiness was a facade

I still maintained decent grades

All thanks to God

When you want something

You’ll do anything to go after that dream

Nothing will stop you

No matter how hard it may seem

I know you will be a goal-getter

And no matter what

I will be there for the worse or the better


I’ve always wondered

What kind of mother I would be

I want to expand your intellect abundantly

I want to take you places I’ve never been

When I was I was five

Places in which it required you to dive

I want to be there for you

For every step that you take

I’d love you so much

Our bond would never break


What will you become when you grow up?

A doctor, lawyer, or nurse?

It really doesn’t matter

Because I will always put you first

And no matter what ever you become

I know you I won’t run you away from me

Because some things can’t be undone

I’m doing everything I can now

So you don’t have to worry

To you, that is my first vow


High school was complicated

I make some mistakes

I made friends with the wrong crowd

They were nothing but fakes

Mixed with peer pressure

I don’t regret anything in the past

It made me into the person I am today

While I’ll be in first, they’ll be in last

I wouldn’t change a thing

Just in case any one asked


I’ve always wondered

If my parents didn’t split

And I hadn’t been emotionally damaged

Would I have wanted to quit?

As a kid it was cute to act out

But as a teenager

That’s when really I had self-doubt

Could I really finish school?

Ditching classes and fighting

At the time, that’s what I thought was cool


You would be a smart little one

Yes, you would indeed

I believe that you will

Because we are of the same breed

You can do what you want willingly

And be of great success

You will be molded prolifically

And be nothing but the best

While handling grace with simplicity

You’ll be the complete opposite from the rest


Author’s note:

This poem is dedicated to my future child(ren). I include moments where I talk about what I went through as a child, as well as how it impacted me in the future. I explained that my parents did fail me in a way and I would never put that burden on my future children. This is a revision of Unit One, the educational essay. In said essay, I explained how my education and learning was impacted because my parents split when I was  about six years old. In this poem, I am promising my future child or children that I won’t let history repeat itself.

The title “Triggered” was inspired by Jhené Aiko’s newest song “Triggered”. On May 7th, 2019, she took to Instagram her feelings on this song. To me, one of her themes is being free and letting all of her feelings out; which is exactly what I wanted to do. Not to mention, she is my favorite singer. I also named the poem “Triggered” because the moments with my parents were a gigantic trigger in my early educational years. It wasn’t easy, as a child, focusing on my school work with this occurrence in my life. This huge trigger bursted into smaller triggers, which is what I experienced throughout high school. By this, I am saying that the big trigger, my parents splitting, lead into smaller problems that expanded from the bigger one, such as cutting class, peer pressure, etc. This was my way of letting go and expressing myself.

Stanley Desir                                                                                     05/14/19

ENG 1121                                                                                            Dr. Carrie Hall




     Gentrification is one of the many crucial issues in America today. It doesn’t get as much attention just like any other topic involving minorities. Before I was trying to reach political figures such as Mayor De Blasio and his office to try to solve this problem that’s a problem in the NYC Community. Then I thought to myself, they don’t even know what even goes on in the “hood”. Instead of going after the mayor or politicians, I feel as if we need to notify the ones that get affected by it the most because it’s up to us to change it. I live in a building that has been gentrified a lot in the past few years. Also my neighborhood is no stranger to the topic.


       In my first interview, I decided to interview my neighbor, Ms. Linda. I wanted to know from her point of view how does the topic of gentrification makes her feel.


Interview #1 : Ms. Linda


Q: Hey Ms. Linda, How long have you been living here at our building?


A: Before you was born Stanley *starts to chuckle*


Q: How do you feel about gentrification?

A: Honestly Stanley, I feel gentrification is an excuse for them rich folks to kick us black folks out this building. Or buy our businesses so they can make their fancy coffee shops. We all pay rent. Did you know they evicted Mr Earl from upstairs for being a “nuisance” to other tenants in the building. It’s insane. And that condo across the street was made because of gentrification and it attracts a lot of upper class citizens. I feel like we cant have anything to ourselves. They always take everything from us.


Q: How can you think we can fix gentrification Ms. Linda?


A: Stanley what we need to do is stop letting them fancy suit guys finesse us for a check. We have to take pride in what we own. If we own a store or an apartment and someone tries to offer us a better position somewhere else, we have to say no. And if they try to kick us out our apartment, they need to give us proper proof and reason for it. I’m sorry for being emotional because it’s just sad seeing everything changing in Brooklyn.


   I knew there was a reason I had not seen Mr Earl in a while. The landlord evicted him for no reason. Mr Earl was a peaceful man and did not disturb no one. The condo across the street is very nice. Also Brooklyn has a lot of gentrification because we have such a high mass of transportation options. I live across from the Q train to Manhattan is 20 minute train ride away. A lot of residents who live in Manhattan and work there move to my area because the rent is cheaper compared to Manhattan and they find easy train transportation to work. It’s a win win for them but a lost for us. I wanted my next interviewer to be someone who is not a minority. His name is Peter. Peter is Caucasian and lives on the other side of the building and has lived here with my parents way before I was born so I’m sure he has a lot to say about gentrification.


Interview #2 : Peter


Q: What’s going on Pete? Long time no see.

A: How’s it going Stan?, Yea its been a while, how can I help?


Q: I’m doing a assignment for my class on gentrification going on in our area. What are your thoughts on it?


A: To be honest, I like change in every aspect but when it comes to gentrification, it’s all wrong. I lived in Brooklyn my whole life. Always loved this building and a few years ago when I started seeing developmental changes in our neighborhood which attracted resident from the city to come and live here, it kind of annoyed me because a green piece of paper could change the aspect of everything. People would think as a white man I wouldn’t care but a majority of this building are filled with families from the Caribbean such as yours and it’s not right for you guys to be treated like this. Also, a lot of residents in this building who are on section 8/welfare stay here for free. The government funds their rent so the government at any point can relocate them somewhere else and let the upper class residents from Manhattan move in. That’s why gentrification really hits hard for Blacks and Latinos.


     I really just learned something after that interview with Peter. I believe that it’s not our fault this happens but we play a specific role in it. I’m not going to lie a lot of people on welfare are very lazy and don’t feel like working to pay rent so the government pays it for them. I feel if we get off our let me excuse my french “Ass” and make an effort and get a job pay our rent they can’t relocate us nowhere. Like I said in the beginning it starts off with us and it ends with us. I hope after these two interviews our people can see what we have to do. With all the gentrification going on in my neighborhood there even trying to give the area a name. There calling it “Ditmas Park” so it could attract residents. I feel like they believe “Flatbush” is going to put the notion in buyers heads that it’s a dangerous area.

 Here is a project there trying to develop a few blocks away from my home. The link to that article is attached right here.


Above is a church a few blocks away that they want to demolish so they can make a nine story building filled with 76 apartments. The link to the article is attached right here. 

Unit 4( Community Problems)

Pavel Nunez


Dr Carrie Hall

English 1121

                                                Sexual Harassment in the MTA


For years, the MTA has been dealing with problems that people are unhappy about. To name a few are: Train Delays, Broken Signals, Smell on the stops, but one thing people don’t really is

Sexual Assault/ Sexual Misconduct. To begin  Sexual Harassment /Sexual Misconduct of sexually harassing someone “because of that person’s sex, gender identity, or sexual orientation is prohibited on the MTA bus, subway and commuter railroad network. Improper sexual conduct can take many forms and anyone can be a victim of it or witness it. It can include misconduct involving the actual or threatened use of physical contact or force, including rape, assault, unwanted touching, and other forms of physical sexual misconduct. At other times, however, improper sexual conduct does not involve physical contact or force. Some examples of improper sexual conduct that does not include physical contact or force are verbal harassment, threats, intimidation, and peeping into or under a person’s clothing”(“Improper Sexual Conduct.”,,so it’s not just physical, but also visually. So you get the idea based on the MTA’s version of defining this problem. But what do they do to tackle this, by far from what I’ve seen they only show a voice message that a ”crowded place is no excuse for an improper touch”. But they should really add more information like how to prevent it and what to do if it happens. Now I’m going to explain the following things that I think they should add based what Natasha Noman said but in simple terms   Being able to contact the police while in the train in the middle of the journey to a stop with an aggressive or otherwise threatening person could stop an assault before it begins or actually send a photo of the offender and the location so the police would respond right away. Also I think the MTA should add cameras to its subway trains and having signs/posters that says that passengers they are being recorded so they won’t think about doing anything inappropriately or else they will get caught and receive punishments. But to cope with this, you should reach out for support because some people experienced depression,anxiety etc because they are too embarrassed to reach out on being sexually assaulted because they will probably think that it they are lying and that nobody will believe them which is not true at all. Just remember It’s not your fault. You may be feeling  a lot of different emotions from what happened to you, but whatever you feel, know that what happened was not your fault at al. It was 100% their fault. Don’t blame yourself for anything you did or didn’t do because that it will only hurt you more mentally. Also lastly, Think about talking to the police. Sexual assault is a crime and you have the right to report it to the police and press charges against the person who has assaulted you— if you want to. You can call the police yourself or get someone you trust do it for you..  But the decision to call the police or not is yours to make, and not everyone decides calling the police is right for them, Alternatively, another solution is to please contact 1-800-656-4673.(It’s a real number)


Noman, Natasha. “After I Was Sexually Harassed on the Subway, I Came Up With 7 Simple Ways to Stop It.” Mic, 7 May 2019,

“Improper Sexual Conduct.”,