Education Essay Revision

Joshua Stone


Professor Carrie Hall

ENG 1121


High School Journey

I’d like to start by saying that I don’t have a lot of memorable moments in my life. But if I could name one, it would definitely have to be my high school graduation. Not only was it one of the most significant moments of my life, but it was one of the major stepping stones of my life. This was the turning point in my road to being an adult and choosing. my career. Despite it being a conjunction of emotions, it is still a day that is hard to forget. Many students have endured those difficult four years of high school, whether it was getting grades for your classes, passing the regents, or trying to receive honors for academic accomplishments. In my case, it a little bit of everything. My main focus was perfect attendance, above satisfactory grades, and passing the mandatory regents and then some to receive an Advanced Regents Diploma. After enduring those four long years, I was able to accomplish each one of these goals, as well as a few of my classmates. The feeling of accomplishment was definitely unforgettable and I think everyone who had the same goals in mind would agree. Of course, there were some students that simple settled for a regular high school diploma, but I couldn’t blame them. If I didn’t have the encouragement of my parents, teachers, friends, tutors, etc., I would have the same mindset as them. Fortunately, my goals were set on being an overachiever and showing all my loved ones and friends that I’m different.

I remember my high school journey as if it was yesterday. I hardly believe there’s anyone who could forget this so-called “journey”. Freshman year was the start of it all. I was your typical student on his first day. I struggled to find classes, had trouble making friends, was dog-piled by assignments and homework. Those days eventually turned for the better. Even though I technically had a head start due to taking certain courses and regents early in middle school, everything was still so much to take in. After the first week, I finally started getting some stability. I basically become everyone’s friends, to my surprise, and the classwork started to seem less of a headache. After the first few months, freshman year was basically smooth-sailing. I kept my grades reasonably high, stayed away from the bad crowd, and was always on time. I eventually got used to this cycle and became fully adjusted too high school life. Then sophomore year came around the corner.

Sophomore year is by far the most headache-inducing, stress-giving, and agonizing year of high school by far. The reason I say this is for one reason only: regents. Basically, regents are New York’s variation of standardized testing, and they are much more stress-inducing and difficult than other forms of testing in the United States. Most of the classes I took were hellbent on making sure each student passed each regent with an 80 or higher, and that’s only an understatement. Even an 80 would be considered disappointing in their eyes and that reflected in our class work. We received assignments and practice exams nonstop and my classmates didn’t stop coming until everyone did well. Thinking back to it now, it did work, but only to an extent. To be precise, about 90% of the students benefited from this, and that’s me being generous. I’m more than positive there were more students that couldn’t take it anymore and gave up halfway or just burned themselves out. I was eligible to take some of my regents early (Geometry and Living Environment), in which I passed with exceptional grades. Some of my friends followed right behind, some surpassed me. And of course, there were some who could care less, would rather take it next year, and just flat out bombed it.

During junior year, everything seemed to be more relaxed. We had fewer classes meaning that we got to go home early, which everyone was excited for. We had the same regimen for regents prep but was definitely a weight of your shoulders compared to sophomore year. The same people that I’ve been friends with since day one has matured so much, it was like they were completely different people. Those who could care less about their education did a full 180-degree turn and started to treat their school with more seriousness. One of those students even ended up on the school council. We continued our year like any other. The classes were more difficult but our teachers managed made our lives easier. By this time, we also took the time to start looking for colleges and deciding what career we were interested in. Finally, regents week came and had everyone on edge, since the time to make up for their mistakes is winding down. I managed to graze by with just an above average grade on my Trigonometry regents, above satisfactory on U.S. History regents and passed with flying colors on my Spanish regents. I was just able to survive this storm of regents but I pulled through, and so did a majority of my classmates. For some, time for improvement is dwindling and senior year is their last chance.

And last but not least, senior year, my best year of high school. Not only was our school schedule was even shorter, but our classes were even laxer. On top of all that, most of us have regents out the way so we can all focus on getting our credits now. We were taking college-level classes, so we had our fair share of difficulties. We also had a lot of free time on our hands, so a handful of us took that time to relax and unwind, while others took that time to study or start looking at colleges. For those who are behind, they received special attention to ensure their success and eligibility to graduate. After all, is said and done, we could finally move on to the fun part of the year: senior activities. First came prom, in which in all honestly would be the third best day. Then a field trip to D.C., which was definitely a highlight of senior year. Third came a visit to a fancy restaurant in New Jersey.

Finally, the day has come, June 23. Everything was about to change. This would be the day I become not only be a college student, but a step closer into adulthood. The silly things I used to do during high school days would be memories now. I used to enjoy the conversations I used to have with our friends, the parties, the classes, teases each other, and much more. Those things are no more in our lives. It took place at Adelphi University The day started as a normal one and ended a memorable day in my life. It was a mixture of emotions. The happiness of seeing friends after longtime and sadness of realizing the fact that there are no more high school days in our life. Others cried for other reasons, such as being unable to see my friends and classmates again. But who could blame them? I’d be heartbroken too if I was unable to see the people I spent the past four years with laughing and learning. I sat there with my friends, probably for the final time, and watched as their names were called and as they receive their diploma. Others like me received awards for other accomplishments such as attendance and honor for other subjects like history and science. Finally, my name was called. I heard my parents, sisters, loved ones, and my soon-to-be-former classmates cheer for me. All my dedication and accomplishments have lead to this moment. I walked on stage, shook my principal’s hand as she gives my Advanced Regents Diploma. This diploma that was given to me is not just a paper, it’s the reward for the continuous hard work and dedication. It definitely wouldn’t possible without the support of parents, teachers, and friends. Thanks to my parents, teachers, and friends for being a backbone throughout the phase of my education.

Letter to Video Game Companies (Unit 4)

Dear Video Game companies,


Video games have been around since 1962. Majority of games today still run with the same formula of games as they were in the past. You have your super macho male protagonist while you have a super sexualized female character. This is a misrepresentation of how females actually are. Could it be a possibility that you guys know that they are misrepresented and are exploiting it to gain more money? Characters such as Lara Croft have been portrayed as having really large breasts. This has been the case until 2013’s Tomb Raider which portrayed Lara Croft as more of an average women compared to her portrayal in her earlier games such as Tomb Raider II (1996). This lack of representation of women have been ingrained into gaming culture for a long time, which has led to all sorts of harassments towards women in the gaming industry. As Chella Ramanan quotes “Society doesn’t see technical women enough so it’s assumed that they don’t exist and ‘technology isn’t something women do,” says Anne-Marie Imafidon, co-founder of Stemettes, a group offering free Stem workshops and events for young women”. This means that since the gaming industry is mostly focused around males, it discourages many women from trying to enter fields needed for gaming. I believe this is a great point because if I was a woman and I hopped onto a game and I get hit with responses like you’re bad because you’re a women, I would completely be discouraged in picking up that game and playing it again, let alone try to work in the game creating industry. This “welcoming” will definitely not encourage women in trying to be interested in a field where she’ll only be criticized because of her being a women. As a video game company, wouldn’t it be an interest to make a game that appeals to more people not just males? This could possibly increase revenue and get rid of the negative connotations of women. Another thing companies can do are encouraging more women to join fields that are more male dominated. From the quote I had earlier, Anne-Marie Imafidon is the co-founder of a group which offer free classes that involve Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math. Giving women access to these classes will encourage them to pursue a major related with video game creation and design. Dr.Richard Wilson found that “80% of  the workforce is qualified to degree level or above, but the proportion of women studying subjects such as computer science or games programming courses is low”. Which would mean that not a lot of females have the opportunity to really contribute to the development of a game since there are so few women in computer science and other similar programs.

A potential solution to this is to try to have programs that encourage females to join programs related with gaming and this may further encourage more video game companies to hire female employees. They can then have them work on female leads for the game. This will give a better representation of females in video games. There are some great games that have female leads such as Mirror’s Edge and Uncharted:The Lost Legacy. If more companies made games like those two, then we can have more games with accurate representation of women. This will also reduce the harassment of women when they are playing games online. We can them finally break the cycle of always having a male protagonist that is super masculine and is always rescuing women who have really large breasts and butt. This is an outdated cycle that over sexualizes women and glorifies guys. I hope that any video game company that is reading this will be able to change and create more games that are similar to the ones I mentioned earlier.


From Erik Yan


Jhene Aiko's explanation on her song "Triggered" which is part inspiration for my poem.

I’ve always wondered

What kind of mother I would be

Would I be strict?

Or would I be carefree?

I’ve always wondered

Would I love you to the moon and back?

Or will I be like my mom and dad

and lack

Certain qualities necessary to love a child?

Hmm.. nah, I never be that wild


Mom and Dad argued so much

When my sister and I came home from school

We never had much luck

I rarely seen them hug and kiss

They were just arguing mules

Days and years going of through this

I might as well have

Sunken myself into a deep abyss

Maybe I’ve said too much? Or maybe not

But you get the gist


In high school I got so many memories

Triggers and flashbacks of what used to be

And it made me act out

Not being the best student I that could be

Not pushing myself and seeing me at my best

My potential was there but I was just a mess

Hanging around the wrong crowd

Not caring about any consequence

But when I all came down,

I was on my own defense


I’ve always wondered

What kind of mother I would be

Would I be scared

because it’s all so new?

Would I be ecstatic after pushing you out

Enjoying my view?

A couple of my friends are new mothers

And sometimes I ask how it feels

They say it feels different than before

And sometimes they get the chills


One thing I do know

Is that you will be smart

You will not lack common sense

And you will have a heart

You are gonna look just like me

Beautiful eyes and curly hair

Oh, you never know the possibilities

Of what you and your siblings will look like

But one thing I do know

Is that you’ll definitely know how to ride a bike


Happiness was a facade

I still maintained decent grades

All thanks to God

When you want something

You’ll do anything to go after that dream

Nothing will stop you

No matter how hard it may seem

I know you will be a goal-getter

And no matter what

I will be there for the worse or the better


I’ve always wondered

What kind of mother I would be

I want to expand your intellect abundantly

I want to take you places I’ve never been

When I was I was five

Places in which it required you to dive

I want to be there for you

For every step that you take

I’d love you so much

Our bond would never break


What will you become when you grow up?

A doctor, lawyer, or nurse?

It really doesn’t matter

Because I will always put you first

And no matter what ever you become

I know you I won’t run you away from me

Because some things can’t be undone

I’m doing everything I can now

So you don’t have to worry

To you, that is my first vow


High school was complicated

I make some mistakes

I made friends with the wrong crowd

They were nothing but fakes

Mixed with peer pressure

I don’t regret anything in the past

It made me into the person I am today

While I’ll be in first, they’ll be in last

I wouldn’t change a thing

Just in case any one asked


I’ve always wondered

If my parents didn’t split

And I hadn’t been emotionally damaged

Would I have wanted to quit?

As a kid it was cute to act out

But as a teenager

That’s when really I had self-doubt

Could I really finish school?

Ditching classes and fighting

At the time, that’s what I thought was cool


You would be a smart little one

Yes, you would indeed

I believe that you will

Because we are of the same breed

You can do what you want willingly

And be of great success

You will be molded prolifically

And be nothing but the best

While handling grace with simplicity

You’ll be the complete opposite from the rest


Author’s note:

This poem is dedicated to my future child(ren). I include moments where I talk about what I went through as a child, as well as how it impacted me in the future. I explained that my parents did fail me in a way and I would never put that burden on my future children. This is a revision of Unit One, the educational essay. In said essay, I explained how my education and learning was impacted because my parents split when I was  about six years old. In this poem, I am promising my future child or children that I won’t let history repeat itself.

The title “Triggered” was inspired by Jhené Aiko’s newest song “Triggered”. On May 7th, 2019, she took to Instagram her feelings on this song. To me, one of her themes is being free and letting all of her feelings out; which is exactly what I wanted to do. Not to mention, she is my favorite singer. I also named the poem “Triggered” because the moments with my parents were a gigantic trigger in my early educational years. It wasn’t easy, as a child, focusing on my school work with this occurrence in my life. This huge trigger bursted into smaller triggers, which is what I experienced throughout high school. By this, I am saying that the big trigger, my parents splitting, lead into smaller problems that expanded from the bigger one, such as cutting class, peer pressure, etc. This was my way of letting go and expressing myself.


I’m going to be revising the artist essay because I feel like, in a sense, the video I made didn’t really establish the point I was trying to make. In my video, I talk more about how XXXTentacion was an inspiration rather explaining the fact that he is misunderstood more. I would change this essay from a video to a drawing, because I feel I can get my point across easier. I want to include his lyrics, his legal battles, and his life in general before his passing.

Unit 4 Proposal

For this unit I will be revising unit 2 which was the pop culture analysis. For that unit I wrote an essay analyzing a song that had a deep meaning. I explained each verse and even explained the incident that sparked the lyrics of the song for the artist. For this unit I would like to complete a photo essay which will include photos and descriptions that represent parts of the song. I’m not sure of the audience I will be trying to reach but my goal is to make them see visuals of real life injustices that still happen today. And I want them to be able to understand through those visuals the deeper meaning behind the song. I will try including pictures of the incident that took place and pictures showing police brutality and gun violence so the audience can know exactly what they’re trying to comprehend while observing and reading my photo essay.

Unit Proposition: Education essay revision Michael Vignoles

For Unit for I would like to revise my educational essay and then do some sort of a public speech with it. Either on the train or even during class. I need to revise my essay and change the message a little but its goign to be around the fact that I was trying to get out of high school early and my principle told me that she worried and doesn’t see me completing college. So in response, I took my hard work ethic and became a manager 19 years old. I want to make a public motivational speech on that there are many ways to learn, and there is not on golden path to success.

For Thursday

  1. If you haven’t posted your revision of the education essay, DO IT NOW!!
  2. Plan some idea for what you want to do for Unit 4. Email me with questions. We’re going to start working on this on Thursday, so you should have something in mind!
  3. We will have some time on Thursday, but not the whole class, to work on the letters to future students. If there’s something you need to do at home, please do it! We will start looking at these on Thursday.