The drafting process of this essay has been really hard for me. This is because my ideas about the topic of happiness are complex. Therefore, what I needed most help with is how to structure and combine those ideas into one argument that will be discussed in my essay. After revising my peer’s essays I feel like I now have an idea of how to go back to my essay and check for my main argument. I have noticed what is it that I am writing most about in my essay, however I still need to look for a way to write it and make it clear to the readers.
When my peers gave me feedback about my essay they suggested to explain what is the paradox that I am referring to in my introduction. Also, to not get off track from the point I am trying to make in each paragraph. I understand what they mean because I noticed that I was getting to my point of the paragraph until the last sentence. However, I need to change that because the topic sentence is the one that needs to point out what the main idea of the paragraph is. My peers also gave me feedback on some minor grammatical errors and format details. Details such as quoting the articles and not changing the font, have a one-inch margin, and my last name and page number at the top of each page of my essay. The group feedback was very helpful because I had the chance to see others essay’s and have an outside view of how the assignment should and should not be done.
The meeting I had with Professor Belli has also helped me to think what are the changes that I need in my essay. I am going to re-read my essay, identify my main ideas in each paragraph and re- do my thesis. Also, I am going to take out a paragraph that may not be of good use for my argument. I am also going to try to re-phrase my last sentence of each paragraph and place it as topic sentences. Moreover, I need to stop summarizing an article and put more of my analysis. For the other use of an article in my essay, I need to include more evidence from the article in order to make my point in the paragraph.
Once I finish revising my essay and fixing the things I just mentioned, I am going to give my essay to a college friend of mine so he could tell me what he thinks and if he knows what my argument is in the whole essay. Hopefully he will also point out any other error I may have. I will also check if my essay follows the required format that has been assigned to this and further essays. Last but not least, I am going to make a bibliography because I didn’t do one due to a misunderstanding I had previously. Hopefully, my final essay meets all the requirements of the assignment.
