Tag Archives: graduation

What is your WHY?

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What is your “why”? What motivates you to be who you want to be? To do the work that you do? To attend school week after week working towards your degree? To strive for the things you want in life? Why do you have the goals that you have?

I ask myself these questions all the time. The answers always motivate me and remind me why I go to school, why I have chosen to work in the field of Human Services, and why I want to create the best life that I can for myself and my future family. Asking these questions always triggers reflective moments for me.

The program that I work with, This Way Ahead, provides a first job opportunity to over 400 teens throughout NYC every year who are looking to start their careers. As I am interviewing these young people to get into the program–meeting all these diverse, smart, talented, teens with different personalities–it’s so humbling and inspiring. It makes me think back to when I was 16 and 17 years old and I had all the dreams and plans you could think of. I wanted to be a teacher, a forensic scientist, and own a daycare/after-school center, all at the same time lol.

Young girl looking up with dreamy eyes

Photo Retrieved from Daily Mail

Do you remember when you were 16? Life was so free and so stressful at the same time right?! We thought we had it hard then, but we didn’t nearly anticipate the obstacles and struggles that would introduce themselves in the years to come. One thing I definitely did not anticipate was the discipline that college required. I was so used to being naturally strong academically and not needing to study because (1) I had great memory, and (2) I was charming and my teachers would probably give me high grades anyway because they liked me (but you didn’t hear that from me because that’s not okay lol). I got into Brooklyn College on a full scholarship so I had already told myself, “girl this is going to be a breeze.” A breeze, it was not.

woman holding sides of head to show stressful expression

Photo Retrieved from V Files

I was overwhelmed by the amount of work assigned and the fast pace of the classes, and I felt totally unprepared by high school. I was also consumed by my new friends. We had so much fun together at the mall, at the local tattoo shop, and other hangout spots…all during the times we were supposed to be in class. Not to mention my boyfriend at the time lived a few blocks away from the campus. Just a mess, lol.

man holding his head in stressful expression

Photo Retrieved from XDA Forum

I didn’t do so well, obviously. I found myself “rebelling” against the conditions of the scholarship because I felt they were controlling my every move. I even ended up having to transfer out of Brooklyn College because I ended up on academic probation and did not pick up my grades the following semester. I got my act together at Bronx Community College but still made the mistake of withdrawing from classes late and ultimately, I ended up taking a break because of the financial consequences. I re-entered school a year ago after 6 years. Now today when I look back on the time I let slip from me, if I could go back, yeah maybe I would do it differently, but I am happy for how it all played out. I’m the high-achieving student I am now (*cough cough 4.0* lol) because I let the past motivate me to not waste any more of my own time and not to waste any more of my potential. I was able to learn from my mistakes, and use them to improve my work habits so that I could excel in school.

This experience taught me that there’ll be moments and memories in our lives that really humble us, and remind us why we do what we do. These moments reveal why we work so hard, why we want to make sure that we don’t end up in certain situations, and why we have certain goals, dreams, and motivations. That period in my life was, and still is, an important reflective moment for me because of the lessons I learned after going through it, and how I ended up on the other side stronger than I was before.

Back to my job. Now, when I first started at my job and we would be putting together our workshop curriculum for programming, my coworker would always want to put in a “What is your why?” activity where he would show his students a video, and then had a discussion with them around the things, and people that motivate them. My supervisor would always joke and ask him, “You’re not tired of that video?” lol and I thought it was hilarious because we could always look forward to him bringing up that video as a suggestion, without fail. As funny as I thought it was, when he actually showed me the video I understood why he used it for his students so much. It really got me to thinking, “What is MY why?”

They say first they laugh then they follow. Now look at me: Every new group of students I get, I’m the one getting joked on for playing this video for them. The video is of motivational speaker Eric Thomas, speaking to a group of college football players who are aspiring to succeed in the NFL. He uses sports references to relate to them and asks them questions like “What is your ‘why’ that leads you to want to play well on the field?” He asks them for who, what, or why they want to be successful, and why they even want to wake up in the morning. He talks about his own “why” and how it motivates him in his life.

Click and watch the video below and take a few minutes to think about your why. I love this video because when I heard it for the first time a few years ago, that’s the first time I actually realized my own why, and was able to identify it as a “why” and as a source of motivation.

So what is my “why”??
My “why I do what I do” is because I want to set an example: an example to the young people I mentor, and an example to my younger siblings and nieces. I want to make my parents proud, and myself proud. It means so much to me to (1) be my family’s first college graduate, and (2) to be showing my younger siblings and nieces that it’s okay for you to create your own pace. I work this hard in school to show them that you can bounce back from anything if you want to, and if you put your mind and will to it. There is a lot of pressure once you start college and I think people do not normalize it enough, as though it doesn’t exist. It comes easy to some and hard to others, and I want them to know that they are in control of their journey, and that they don’t have to hold themselves to anyone else’s standards or pace but their own.

My “why” for returning to college to get my degree even though I felt comfortable just working is because I’ve watched people close to me struggle financially, or be in a standstill position due to a lack of education, and I don’t want that for myself. I push through my tired days because I want to be better than statistics say people from my neighborhood, my culture, and my race can be. When my days get hard and I’m on the verge of giving up, and I am questioning why I need to do all these things– remembering my “why”, keeps me pushing for my success. Instead of quitting, I remember why I started and why I’m doing it.

After you watched the video, how did that conscious moment of reflection rejuvenate you in your purpose?

So I ask you now….”What is Your Why”?? Tell me in the comments!

Love Ya, Neffi

Quote Picture

Photo Retrieved from Debra Trappen Blog

To The New York City College of Technology 2017 Graduates….

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“What is that sound?” I mutter to myself, quietly. I ponder what it is as I reluctantly pull myself out of my short slumber. My eyes slowly open as I immediately wish that they would close but I force them to remain wide, awake, and alive. With sleep casted on my eyes, I blindly reach for my phone. “Snooze or Dismiss?” I ask, as if it were an actual question. It’s 5:30 am and I know that my day won’t be done until ten o’clock at night so I continue to debate with myself for a few more seconds upon what I should choose. By default my phone snoozes and I know that I have five whole minutes to dismiss the alarm before the annoying sound reoccurs. There I sit at the edge of my bed waiting for some mystical inspiration to strike me and make me feel one hundred times more energized than I currently feel but it doesn’t. So I conclude that I won’t go to class since I’m too tired and have too many tasks to complete today. I lay back down until I realize that I NEED to go to class today so I sit back up and ponder my thoughts once more before the alarm rings again and I realize that I just wasted five extra minutes of sleep fighting with myself whether to get out of bed today.

This is just one instance of the many struggles of college life and throughout the long days and six hour lab classes for however many years, it is finally over. For the first time in a long time, you can finally feel stress free of homework assignments, midterms, finals, and all the exams/quizzes in between. So bask in the glory of completion because you deserve it. You’ve earned it through the years of non-stop work, last minute essays, the printers wearing themselves out after countless hours of continuous use, and moving through entire days without eating a substantial meal due to an excessive time crunch.

Graduating marks the end of an phase in life for some, in which you learned more than the lectures in class, readings from countless textbooks, and assignments that shaped your craft. In addition to all those wonderfully useful things that you learned, you also learned even more about yourself by proving to yourself that you are determined to get everything your heart desires.

As the next chapter in your life begins, rejoice in what you have done, plan what you do now, and enjoy everything that you do next.

So on behalf of the Buzz Team, congratulations to everyone who finished on a fixed income, came here from a different country, raised kids while getting a degree, worked part-time, worked full-time, worked two jobs, worked three jobs, had to care for family members, and everything in between. We are so proud of you and applaud your achievements.

We thank you for giving the students of New York City College of Technology inspiration they need so they can also reach their goals.

May greatness proceed…

Virtues from Motherhood: A Letter to my Friends

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A Letter to my Friends,

In a few days, all three of you will walk across the stage at the Barclay’s center, solidifying the end of a chapter in your lives. I am so proud of each of you, and it has been a privilege to watch you grow and find success. I know each of you will bring such light and greatness to wherever you go next. Though I’ve only had the fortune of knowing you for two years, it feels like we’ve known each other decades and I know I’ve made lifelong friends.

My journey here at City Tech was shaped by you, your presence, your support and all our shared moments of laughter, triumph and at times relief. Until I got here I never had a real college experience, I was never apart of things on campus and I never felt like I belonged, but you all changed that. I looked forward to coming to school every day and sharing classes and breaks together made me feel like I was meant to be here and that I was going to be alright.

I will miss each of you so much when I begin my final semester here in the fall but I’ll share all the great experiences and values I had with you three with the peers I encounter before I leave. When I think back on all my attempts at college and all the times I tried and failed, it no longer seems like such a big deal because I’ve found such great success, and great people here. I want to thank you amazing ladies for letting me into your lives, for sharing your time and input with me, for dealing with me when I was on the brink of a meltdown and most all for being a friend when I felt like I had none. I will always look back on this time of my life as a flourishing, happy and most of all one filled with love and I will always tell my daughter about the experiences I’ve had at City Tech. Congratulations!

Your friend,

Samantha

Preparing To Graduate?

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a stock image of graduation hats with tassels being tossed into the air

This December, if everything goes as planned, I will be graduating from College. While its an exciting thought, it’s also a nerve-racking one, as I begin a whole new chapter in my life.

So it got me thinking about my fellow future graduates, and what they must be thinking and feeling as well. Gathering information from all around, I’ve come up with some tips to help us through our journey.

1. What do you want after you graduate? A Job!!! Complete or update your resume/cover letter to prepare for your job search. It’s also important to buy an interview outfit. And an interview outfit doesn’t include jeans. You have to dress professionally, even if the job you are applying for is a relaxed one, since you want to make a good first impression. Practice your interviewing techniques with the types of questions you may be asked at an interview.

2. Have you taken out a loan? Make sure you know how much you owe, and the different options for repayment that are available. Most student loans begin repayment six months after graduation. You want to be prepared to begin making payments when they are due.

3. Study, study, study! Just because you are about to graduate, that doesn’t mean you start to get lazy and slack off. The goal is to graduate, and one misstep can keep you from achieving your goal.

4. Continue to save! You no longer will have to spend money on those expensive books, and other school expenses, so start saving your money now. It’ll come in handy in the long run, trust me.

Just a few things to pay attention to as you prepare to be handed your diploma. Good luck!!

Why put off to tomorrow what you may never need to do?

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a cartoon diagram of procrastination

used with permission from UBC Learning Commons some rights reserved

So we are nearing the finish line. At that point when you have some finals, papers, projects, and assignments left, but are getting ready to complete those classes. This is also the time when we start coming down with “Spring Fever”. You know what I’m talking about. It’s so easily diagnosed.

You were doing so well in that class. You learned what the professor expected from you, what effort was really required to do well in the class, and you arranged your schedule to fit the requirements. So you cut down your hours at work, figured out what days you can hang out with friends, you may have even figured out which of your shows you will be able to watch.

But of course, all good intentions may not last. It started with that Thanksgiving dinner. Sure, you were saving a major paper top write on Thanksgiving because you would have SO much time, but alas, how could you work on schoolwork when the family is going to the parade, watching football, carving the turkey… Before you know it, it’s 6:00 at night, sure you still can write that paper, but now the turkey is kicking in. How are you supposed to write a decent paper when you have tryptophan coursing through your body? So you go to sleep. After all, you still have the rest of the weekend, Right?

We all know how the rest of this story goes. We both know that after something like that, combined with the Spring Fever and possibly Senioritis, it will be very difficult to get back on track.

Well, there’s good news and bad news.

The semester has a definitive endpoint. You have a final scheduled, a date when all of your assignments are due and when grades will be submitted. Even if you choose to request an incomplete, there will be a deadline to complete your work. This can be good because there will be an end to the class, a time when you no longer need to worry about how to calculate the slope of… (Unless of course you are a math major). You will need to hand in that 20 page paper whether or not it is properly formatted, has an adequate number of primary sources, or meets the requirements. There will also be a time when even if you have another five chapters to read before taking the final, you will need to take it.

This can also be bad news for the same reasons. Anything that you don’t finish now, you may never be able to do. You don’t have time to procrastinate. You need to do this work now so that you can get the credit for it.

Don’t delay, or you’ll have to pay!

Avoiding Burnout in the Job Hunt: Stop, Drop, and Roll

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a hand circling classified ads

So you’re finally up to graduation! You’re so excited. Finally you can enter the work force as a proud, educated, eligible employee. You’re on top of the world, no one can ruin your joy. Until you remember, wait, now you need to find that job…

Reality starts to set in. The job market is not that great right now. Maybe you need another certification, maybe even a more advanced degree. You start to search the job boards. Everyone wants experienced employees. Your internship site has a hiring freeze with an indefinite end-date. Maybe this is the wrong field for you. Maybe this was all a waste.

STOP!

Remember, your a highly qualified applicant. That job that you didn’t get, it wasn’t meant to be. A place that doesn’t want to hire a new graduate probably isn’t where you want to work. There are so many potential employers, and it’s possible that your “ideal” is not actually that.

DROP!

Forget the ego. You might need to take a less coveted job to work up to the level of your dream. Drop the frown. It’s time to remember why you wanted to do this career. Remember how idealistic you were when you started college, when you took the first class in your major? Get that dream back. Think about the positive side. Once you have a job, you’ll need to work everyday, all day. Take advantage of your time off to develop some hobbies, take a class, and become a super networker.

ROLL!

Sometimes the job offers come when you least expect them. Roll with the punches. If you get a temporary position, take it. It may lead to a permanent job, looks great for experience, and fills up your resume so that you don’t have too many gaps to explain. Remember that even a day at the movies can turn into an amazing networking experience. Talk to people about their lives, it looks good, and you can find job hunting ideas along the way.

If a job opportunity comes up that is indirectly related to your field, look in to it. You may find a new dream job!

Good luck on your next step!