The only times where I can say I felt like I was in between two worlds I say started around Middle School because I’ve always been above average height my whole life. So I was kind of in a way forced into sports because of me being so much taller than all the other students and middle school, my gym teacher asked me repeatedly to join the basketball team until I caved and I did and same thing and high school all of my friends the gym teacher and a couple of teachers you like why you not on the basketball team or the flag football team you would be so good and to be honest the reason why I was always so hesitant is because I didn’t see Sports as something I wanted to take competitively I like to playing basketball and football casual with my friends and I felt that if I had to do it competitively with all the training and the certain foods I’d have to eat I would lose interest and it which I didn’t want to happen because I enjoyed playing sports just not competitively. I always had a interest in sports but my true interest where I actually wanted to take competitively was like games when it came to video games or board games like chess those were things that I enjoyed doing competitively that why i joined the chess club at my high school for two years we went to tourneys I lost I won but I have fun.
Also growing up I didn’t like the impression that my height gave to people because it’s very common that when people see that I am a teenager taller than most adults their first thought is “this kid must be very into sports” and it’s really not true I’ve never watched basketball or football on TV. I never found it interesting baseball and soccer none of it interest me. which always threw people off because they would ask me do you play basketball or are you on any teams and I would always tell them no it’s not really an interest for me and see how shocked their face would look. But now it’s more or less changed because now there are teenagers that are younger than me and are the same height or even taller then I kind of fit in now more than I did back when I was in Middle School. I still do get asked just not as much anymore and it whatever it never truly bother me and was just something that i noticed.
I agree I am not really into playing sports competitively. It more fun play sports for exercise or just with your friends when there isn’t no pressure to be the best and win a game. There are more high expectations when you are on a team playing competitively. I also don’t like when people assume that because you have height that you should be playing sports. That just a myth that all people that are tall are great at playing sports in my opinion. The facts in a person can be tall and into playing video games.
Jaden: This is very interesting. I can sympathize with you. It’s hard to push back when mentors are pushing you and making decisions about who you are and what you should do. Good that you stuck to your true interest in games and joining the competitive tournament chess team.
GOING FORWARD WITH THIS FREE-WRITE:
Clarify (make clear): What exactly are the TWO different worlds you are navigating between?
FROM OUR ASSIGNMENT, I COPY: Have you had the experience of living “between two different worlds” or we might say of having two differing identities? In your own life how have “ambiguous” feelings or internal conflicted feelings–about language, identity, injustice, or opportunities that affected your own educational journey? OR Do you feel a conflict between two parts of your identity. Have certain mentors typecast you in a certain profile, putting pressure on you to conform to what others expect of you? Then, are you battling with another part of yourself that seeks to be free to reach the dreams that you keep hidden in your heart, that only you can see in yourself? What actions have you taken to address the conflict? Or, how have you learned to live with it? Be sure to name for your reader exactly what the two worlds or two identities are.
You write: my gym teacher asked me repeatedly to join the basketball team until I caved and I did [show me what you were like when you played on the basketball team. Were you a disinterested player? Was it like just going through the motions and not really feeling like you wanted to be there?]
You write: . . . . but my true interest where I actually wanted to take competitively was like games when it came to video games or board games like chess those were things that I enjoyed doing competitively that why i joined the chess club at my high school for two years we went to tourneys I lost I won but I have fun. [show me a scene at a chess tourney and your feelings when you played — show your excitement about competition in the world of games.]
You write: ” . . . which always threw people off because they would ask me do you play basketball or are you on any teams and I would always tell them no it’s not really an interest for me and see how shocked their face would look. [Show me a conversation with dialogue between you and this other someone being shocked and how this type of convo makes you feel, about yourself, about the other person and the assumptions they are making about you].
What are the two worlds you are operating in between? going back and forth between? or the world you want to join? I think you are describing your conflict of being in a world that stereotypes you as the tall black kid/school athlete versus being in a world that lets you be free to be who you want to be and not being pegged in. Have you been influenced by people making assumptions about what your interests should be? How was this shaped the person you are today? What have you learned about yourself?
REMEMBER: IN this essay, your goal is to choose a single transformative event / memory or a set of transformative events / memories that shaped you to become who you are today. So select what events, scenes from your life that you want to show.