Look at your cousins on scholarships. I know you can do better’ this is a saying my mother would always tell me throughout highschool. She started saying this in my sophomore year of highschool. I believe she thought this would give me motivation to try my hardest in school. I wouldn’t really take school too seriously, I would do enough just to pass, which isn’t the greatest idea by me. Whenever my mother would bring up the fact that my cousin is on a scholarship it would make me feel as if she was disappointed in me. I would pressure myself to do things better and had kept to myself because of the insecurities I created in my head.
While growing up there has always been pressure from the adults in my life. There was the pressure of school and setting an example for my younger cousins. I was in highschool when she repeatedly brought up the topic of my cousins and their education. When I became a senior I started to understand that she had attempted to motivate me by saying this. Senior year passed by fairly quickly and I was graduating. On the day of Graduation I asked my mother “ Are you proud of me now?” to which she responded “ I’ve always been proud of you”. For the longest time I had believed that she was not proud of me but when she told me that she was I felt a relief from all the pressure and doubt that had been stored within me. I have understood for a while now that all she was trying to do was motivate me to be the best version of myself.
My mother will also compare me with my cousin, and some other kids in my neighborhood which know more things than me. I mean I really don’t care if someone is better than me, unless is a competing situation, just try your best, and no matter what your mother said to you, she just wants you to improve. The mother will always be proud of their kid.
This is a fine example of a mom being a mom. Sometimes I feel annoyed when my mom compare me to others as well. But I understand that she just want me to be the best at any thing I do, I think your mom feel the same about you.
I can’t imagine my moms comparing me to anyone, she says all of her children are different. She encourages us to do our best and each persons best will always be different. My siblings and I have things in common but by mom challenges us differently. When comparing people it can make you envious of them for no reason at all. But i know some parents may do that but that doesn’t challenge a person intellectually it would effective them emotionally. Parents have a strange way of doing things.
Asa: These are very very wise words! As parents, we often don’t realize the effect our words have on our kids and yes comparisons only create envy.
Dylan: Wow you really brought up points that spoke to me as a mother myself. Parents don’t know how their words become so poweful in their children’s minds and how a son or daughter might misinterpret their messages. Moms all love their children and only want push them forward. Sometimes they way we parents “push” isn’t always the best way for that son or daughter. But I hear you because I also remember these kind of statements from my dad. So now I can see from both sides!
GOING FORWARD WITH THIS:
Start with the quote up top, so:
“Look at your cousins on scholarships. I know you can do better!”
My mother started saying this in my sophomore year of high school and this is a saying she would always [keep] tell me throughout high school. I believe she thought this would give me motivation to try my hardest in school. [NEED A TRANSITION SENTENCE HERE — Suggestion Add: But it really didn’t work that way.] I wouldn’t really take school too seriously, I would do enough just to pass, which isn’t the greatest idea by me. [MORE details on your bad habits in high school, your lack of seriousness in school]]
Whenever my mother would bring up the fact that my cousin is on a scholarship it would make me feel as if she was disappointed in me. I would pressure myself to do things better and had kept to myself because of the insecurities I created in my head. [I am sorry to hear this — EXPLAIN more clearly. What insecure thoughts went through your mind? What THINGS did you try to do better? THINK A BIT MORE ON THE EFFECT OF THOSE WORDS ON YOU — WHAT was the result of your mom saying this comparison statement all your life? Has it motivated you? Did you mom’s words backfire on you — Has it made you doubt yourself? Has it kept you back in those years? Look at Asa’s reply to you. He makes a very good analysis]
While growing up there has always been pressure from the adults in my life. There was the pressure of school and setting an example for my younger cousins. I was in highschool when she repeatedly brought up the topic of my cousins and their education. [Details on your cousins’s achievements.]
On the day of Graduation I asked my mother “ Are you proud of me now?” to which she responded “ I’ve always been proud of you”. [Show me this moment by with dialogue and descriptions – this is a great place to create a scene. Take the reader there; make the reader feel teary eyed! I did.]
I felt a relief from all the pressure and doubt that had been stored within me. [explain more your thoughts, the feeling of letting go of the pressure.] I have understood for a while now that all she was trying to do was motivate me to be the best version of myself. [nice language here – best version of myself]