1st- Is the unit 3 group assignment that me and micheal worked on about rape culture. (Link)

2nd – Is the revision for the artist essay which i revised to a personal breakthrough. (Essay)

3rd- Is a gilyard homework assignment (Paragraph)


New York College Of Technology

Haider Mahmood

May 14, 2019

Dr.Carrie Hall







Coming home after one of the worst days in your life. You experienced disloyalty for the first time from someone who you did everything for. You’re in so much shock that you feel like you’re about to break but you keep your composure. You feel like you can’t trust anyone anymore so you don’t even want to talk to anyone. You do the one thing that is in your comfort zone and that is listening to music. You grab your headphones and turn on the radio, the song playing talks about the exact way you are feeling right now. you look at your phone and see your favorite artist NBA YOUNGBOY and his new song Genie. NBA Youngboy’s real name is Kentrell Gaulden but his rap name stands for NEVER BROKE AGAIN YOUNGBOY, he was born in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. The reason why I listen to his songs a lot is because it describes certain pain that most rappers don’t show

Kentrell starts of the song by saying “Too many problems (yeah) Thinking how I’m gone solve it (yeah)” and just this one line has gotten me already hooked. While listening to this song I was at a very rough point of my life. I had multiple problems where I addicted to a drug, couldn’t really trust any of my friends, lost a lot of money into repairing car that I accidently crashed. Its situations like these you never expect yourself to be in. Everyone is there through the good times when you have the drugs they’ll take it with you and tell you it’s not bad and when you get that new car they’ll be happy to get it as long as it benefits them and they will help you spend that money as long as you spend some on them too. No one is ready to help you with your problems and therefore I was stuck in life not knowing what was the solution. Scared to end this toxic relationship with my friends just because I’ve known these guys for my whole life.

Kentrell continues the song by saying “So much pain in my body (yeah) They selling lies and I bought it (yeah)”. Which has a general meaning which meant that my friends would saying they’re my bro and they have my back through any bad point of life but whenever I was there they were never there. One of the most important lines Kentrell says that is “I been giving all my love, tell me do you feel it”. Which describes my point of view of the friendship. I would do anything to make my friends happy. If I see that they wanted something that would make them happy I would get that thing no matter what I had to do. If I see that they need financial help I would reach into my pocket with no hesitation. Situations like these happened every day and all this love I was showing meant nothing and I was never getting any love but I don’t know why I was fine with that. Part of that is because I was blind to see the fact they were using me, I guess I never really believed people like that existed.

Kentrell continues by saying “They keep begging me to change. Talked to Future the other day and he say I need to change lanes (yeah)”. I remember when I started to talk to people about what happened they told me I need to change my life. Focus more on making legal money and focusing on school more so I can have a career. I need to put all this anger into changing my life and doing something positive and that exactly what I did. I started asking god for a better life from here on because I believe that’s one of the only people who will always want the best for me. Kentrell continues by saying “Said I changed on you, but I feel that you changed on me. I say my prayers and you gon’ sow just what you reap (yeah)”. This is an important line because although I never treated people in a bad way those who treat people in a bad way will get their punishment by karma. Kentrell ends the song by saying “Don’t tell me that you love me, if you ain’t going to die for me (oh). You can stay to fuck from round me.” Which overall means if you don’t value my life then stay away from me.

In conclusion NBA Youngboy (Kentrell) is a hip hop artist who writes songs explaining his pain. His song really described my emotions from a previous situation. Nba youngboy is one of the only rappers who doesn’t rap for money, he does it for his 5 kids .



Gilyard writes in a  way that would 10/10 times make me want to continue reading. Hes not afraid to make comments of his real life to impress his own readers. For example when he says “my main pursuit was money for drugs” . Just saying that shows you a raw side of him that would you wouldn’t really expect a writer to say about himself. Also in Gilyards writing his is very clear when he speaks about a time for example he would say the year and place so people can really picture what he seen. Reading this shows me some tips on how I can really hook my reader and make my essays more interesting.

Look at the Past, Prepare for the Future

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(Communist Manifesto Review)

I used the communist manifesto for nearly the entirety of its structure. I established a visual that compared the issue with what is causing it. Then continue on why and how the issue exists. The main reason being the separation of ‘classes’. If someone were to read the Communist Manifesto and then look at my peace, the similarities would be pretty blatant. My article, to me, feels a bit like a rewrite of the Manifesto on a much different topic. The language is similar, the structure is also similar. The humor might as well be the biggest difference, for one article was hired by communists to be used as a formal document, while the other speaks of the great injustice that video games can bring to gender, all be it in an extreme and unusual fashion. Another thing that I’ve realized the Manifesto influenced my writing in the fact I don’t plan on really using many drawn out and explained examples. I originally went into this project thinking “I’ll write how capitalist pigs are making money off of breasts and Male fantasy, yadda yadda yadda.” But now I feel that making the issue exaggerated and make a clear villain that has been abusing people for generations. Though I personally know the gaming industry has been getting better, and most women I speak with in the gaming community are ok with such fan service things, all be it because there are times where females get their own fan service from attractive guys in game as well. But who needs to hear that the situation is getting better when it’s easier to draw attention by exaggerating an issue by making a cause that inspires support. That’s the way Karl Marx wrote the Communist Manifesto and it’s how I plan to complete my project.

(Pixelated Thoughts)

Among the rubble of a destroyed city, a woman wearing a black military uniform, red armband, and black hair tied in a ponytail runs to take cover behind a pillar of high that has collapsed and now holds itself up from its own remains above her. Slinging her marksman rifle over her shoulder, she looks down the scope and watches a tall man made of metal, with a minigun fused onto its right arm, slowly march its way over to a man hiding behind another pillar 30 meters away with an assault rifle between him and the metallic man. Adjusting her view, the woman flicks off the safety and takes a deep breath as her finger lifts off of the trigger guard and onto the trigger right before…

Scenes like this are what filled my mind for several years of my life. The scene written above was taken from when I roleplayed online with people in a sandbox game called Garry’s Mod on a server themed around the Terminator universe. The event ended up with my character experiencing a near death experience after taking the attention of the terminator away from her teammate, where the terminator turned and fired its minigun in her direction with the bullets tearing through the concrete and through her ballistic plate vest. Even though there is such a story behind it with, what was to me, such vivid images, there was no animation from the models for all the things that happened. I along with two other people typed out sentence by sentence the actions that took place. Through watching how people structured their sentences, I slowly picked up the basics of grammar which are lessons that I take with me today because it just feels natural for me at this point. Garry’s Mod wasn’t the only game that I learned grammar through. I even started through a game called Warcraft III which came out in 2002, and then an expansion in 2004 called The Frozen Throne. After watching my brother do it a couple of times, I got an interest and tried it myself. Since I was only eight at the time, the things I learned showed in my ability to increase my ‘reading level’ throughout elementary school. I got to excel in writing assignments and my teachers always considered me a good reader, which I only have my experiences of roleplaying to thank.

It’s also amusing to me that during my years of roleplaying through video games online, the ones that often had mistakes in their grammar were the ones who tried to correct others. They often were disliked and given the term ‘Grammar Nazi’ to describe them. Most people never bothered with correcting someone, unless they were atrocious, so those who did it regularly were naturally disliked. The greatest fall of a grammar nazi was the moment they made a mistake and were called out for being full of shit. I naturally never paid attention to these things too much, but it was amusing to watch people argue out of character over the small things. These small things were exposed to me and I got to learn niches in grammar that I’m sure I would never use, however no such experience stands out to me after not interacting with roleplaying for years. With these years away from roleplaying though, I can proudly look back and see the other things I’ve learned from video games.

I’ve learned the composition of air by looking at filters on a space station, learned the geography of Europe slowly while establishing myself as a great power after starting as a lowly elector in the Holy Roman Empire in 1444, and so much more. Through a variety of games, I was able to be exposed to a variety of scenarios which taught me so many things. Video games can be a great way to learn things and it’s disappointing to me that so many people consider them a waste of time where nothing can be learned. Stating that video games bring out violent tendencies in people and are only harmful to children is a view that I can’t help but feel is ignorant. I can’t deny that video games often get people rowdy due to some people’s competitive nature, but to say that games only make people violent seems off when gamers are stereotypically shut ins, who are abnormally quiet when outside. I’ve seen people who could tell you facts about random parts of World War 2. If you wanted to know what tanks were reliable and which were a pile of junk, or the facts of battleships such as the Konigsburg or the St. Louis cruiser, there is a person who can tell you all about it depending on which gaming community that is explored. I personally view games as a great way to learn things, it just takes a little bit of searching past the most popular titles.


(P.S. Thanks for Everything Dr. Hall)

Me As A Writer

Haider Mahmood

English 1121

Dr. Carrie Hall

May 21, 2019





How have I grown as a writer? The teachers always talking, you read long articles and have to write long essays! Who would love writing. At first I joined this English course because it was required. I was not even looking to improve I just wanted my college credit and wanted to get out. I’ve seen my professor Carrie Hall try so hard to get us to improve and I just couldn’t find the point. But because I see her dedication to get us to improve I started caring less about my grade and more on doing my part of the class which was trying.  I realized I wasn’t give this class my full attention and just kind of get out of a bad vibe. Knowing myself I knew I wasn’t going to enjoy this class because I just hate school in general. I hate the whole concept of school because it teaches you nothing about the real world. But this wasn’t any class, it was Carrie Halls.

The second we were both dedicated I wanted to figure out what was the point? I soon realized by writing , whether it was my journal , homework  or essays. My writing has changed because I’ve stopped looking at it as an assignment. When you are told to do something you just do it in school and never really ask yourself what’s the point of this. I feel like over this semester instead of writing this assignment for my professor I wrote it like I’ve been writing for my friends which made my essay more interesting to read and write.  I’ve changed my whole mentality of writing assignments from hating to write them to getting better to understand the concept of them, which was to entertain or show people a piece of how you think.

When writing and focusing on improving even with the help of you teacher you can’t really be good at everything. Although I started to love writing and getting to know how to write, I was good at things but I was also bad at things. The reason why I was so bad at essay is because I would go home and open my laptop and get stuck on the introduction. How do I even start an essay? I thought the point of the introduction is to tell people what you’re going to be talking about and so I would ask questions. Like if I was talking about hotdogs in my essay I would ask questions the reader would never know of the top of their head. For example do you know where hotdogs come from? I would think this is the type of things that would get the reader interested but honestly it just pissed them off. Until one day in class Dr.Carrie Hall makes us do an assignment where we think of a time in our life and write down our surroundings. With that information we create an intense scene which would get the reader hooked. One thing I’ve been really bad at is conclusion. I was told as a kid in conclusion just rewrite what you wrote about. I was so happy about that because when you get to the conclusion you just want to finish as fast as possible.

Now I no longer have a hatred for writing. In my free time I continue to write in my personal journal. No matter what it’s about, sometimes I write about my day. I write what I did in my day and what I wanted to do. I write about story’s that I make up from my head. For example I just created a story about a crazy race driver who does anything he can to win races. Writing has only made my life better because I can finally take my thoughts and write them on paper.  I used to write down my goals on how I can become a better person today and in years to come.  Most importantly writing has taught me to take risks. Writing in general was a risk for me because I was getting out of my comfort zone. I was writing my personal thoughts and didn’t know who would be reading it. Also I would ask questions that I wasn’t really confident in asking. Scared to be judged on the type of question I asked, whether someone would just say “ that’s a stupid question”. That one of my biggest fears when I comes to writing because it’s just a confident killer.

So this is me as a writer. I have improved myself in ways I couldn’t even imagine years ago. I’ve started to accept writing is a part of me just like brushing my teeth. Writing in my journal has helped me write my thought on paper easier because there a people who love to read your writings and support

Me as a Writer

Giuseppe Biondi

Dr. Hall

English 1121

This semester has come to an end, but that doesn’t mean that I will forget what and how I progressed as a writer and a student. The class has been one of the funniest and enjoyable since high school. What I think is key for a student to get better at something is to like what you are doing. I liked this class and if I could, I’ll take it every semester again, but I can’t.

This class and Dr. Hall have taught me that no one is perfect at something. I’m not a perfect writer and I think that no one is, it’s just a matter of you, liking something. During this time, I learned my weakness and strengths, and how to exploit them. The biggest weakness that I have is that sometimes I don’t take my time doing things, like in this class writing as fast as possible just to finish the assignment; this only got my writing worse than it was before and I had to adjust my attitude of rushing my writings. In unit 1 like when I was talking about my grandpa, I forgot to introduce him well, this one of the many mistakes I did. He has an important role in my unit 1 and not describing him, is like working without knowing who your boss at work is. In unit 1 I said, “The tree reminds me of my grandfather, as if he is watching me waking up every morning, he’s what the tree remembers me of, because it was him who gave life to the tree, and my feelings for it”. This is where I started making the reader confused, because I kept talking about my grandpa and how he is an important part of my life, but I never describe him as a person always as an image of someone that only I know. I just needed to remember that, yes, I do know him, but the reader does not. Also, in unit 1 I talked a lot about Sicily and its nature and how majestic it is, but still I did not describe it enough to let the reader having a self image in their heads on how it really was. This all seemed banal to me, but I understood that when you write you must do it for yourself and the reader too, so that they can understand what you are talking about, especially if you have to post it somewhere. Now at the end of the semester my strength is that I know, because of my past errors, where to stop and really think about what I have to do to make things better. Before I said that I had many errors in unit 1, and because I knew I could make way better than I did the first time I wrote it, I revised it. From the time of the publication on openlab to when I revised it I understood that it really was bad, but sometimes you don’t see it right away and you must let the time pass between. So, one of the biggest errors I did was not to describe my grandpa and Sicily, and these two is what I really tried to focus more in the revision. In the second paragraph of the revision I described my grandpa more but not too much otherwise the character, my grandpa, wouldn’t evolve like I wanted to. And like my grandpa Sicily nature too, I tried to evolve them like a movie, so little by little.

During the semester we had fun moments and days where you had to write and that was it. I don’t know why but every time we had an assignment I always do it the day before, this is one of the many stupid things that someone does. Yes, for this time I’m calling my self stupid and not because I am, but because I’m stubborn. This is one of the many things I also adjust and completely get rid of; because it’s so bad doing things last minute and because of it I had the same problem with unit 3 where I did rush again like unit 1, and of course I did not expect a high grade. In the unit I had a lot of grammatical errors which when you have like 2 weeks to finish the assignment, it should be perfect. I’m going to be honest most of them were rush errors. One of them was like “Nowadays with advanced technologies in the world, cities are evolving to bigger and bigger cities everyday coming…” as simple as the introduction I already started making errors, and when you have a bad start you’ll also have a bad ending. Knowing that I could have done it in way that would have made it better I took the chance Dr. Hall gave me and of course I revised as well. I adjusted the introduction and know it starts like this “Nowadays with advanced technologies it is easier for construction industries to build buildings, and because of that cities are evolving to bigger and bigger cities everyday coming, but they also bring disadvantages”. First I didn’t say what technology has to do with cities getting bigger, but now in the revised unit 3 and what I said did change the introduction so that the reader can understand what technologies have to do with cities, in this case they do help construction industries because of new equipment evolved with new technologies making buildings is not as difficult as it was before, therefore cities like New York are getting bigger every day. These are all errors that I made when rushing and my point is that, only at the end of the semester I understood how to be a better writer and that is by proofreading your writings.

At the end of the semester what I see of my self is that, yes, I did become better at endling some things but like I said no one is a perfect writer and that is what makes a writer better. I think that making errors is what brings you a step further than you were before. Looking back, I see a student trying to rush things just to get rid of them, but now I see a student that understands when to give it all and trying to always do the best. At the end; I see myself a step further.


Artist Statement

Erik Yan


Eng 1121

Professor Hall


Over this semester I believe that I have improved on my writing. I think i’ve been able to write longer pieces than I ever could. In the past, writing more than 2 pages was considered a lot for me. I’ve noticed ever since like my first class of college, most of my written work was 2 pages or more. I kind of felt like it was kind of difficult to write a lot because I like to just say or present my point. My explanation for my point would be really brief with not much reasoning as to why I felt that way. I think throughout the semester I have noticed I sort of have been improving on explaining myself and my reasoning. I’ve been able to also explain my use of evidence a little better. I still need to work more on that but it is better than how I wrote in the beginning of the term. Having to explain more of why I agree to a certain thing helped to also extend my paper. I think my type of writing has remained more or less the same because the style of writing has been pretty similar throughout my pieces of work. The two pieces of work I have chosen both are written in a casual way. I find that it is more relatable when reading it which can help set up like a emotional connection. The two pieces I chose are the MTA Signal Memo and Gender Inequality in Video Games. I chose these two because I felt that my MTA Signal Memo was a “low stakes” homework assignment that made great use of a lot of evidence. I was able to gather evidence about MTA signal problems and I was able to explain why I picked the evidence I picked and what it all meant. This memo was basically kind of a mini essay in my opinion just without really an introduction and conclusion. I also chose my paper about women in video games because that was a subject of interest that coincided with the topic of my paper. I felt more invested in writing that paper because I was personally interested. This allowed me to write longer with more of an explanation of why I thought the way I did. I think something I can improve on is trying to explain what my evidence means in my own understanding of it. I basically mean explain why I picked it and how I have interpreted that evidence because no one else knows what I’m thinking but myself. I want to be able to properly write down my understanding of it so that someone else who picks up my paper and reads it, will understand what I am thinking about it.

My interest in writing has remained the same, which is only really writing when school requires it. I don’t find an interest in writing. I only do it because I need it for my classes. I find it much easier to just speak my ideas instead of writing it out. Plus since I would be having a discussion with someone on the topic, I can also get an immediate response or counter to my argument. Even though I do not write a lot outside of class, I still feel that I have had some type of improvement compared to previous written pieces. As I have said earlier about explaining my point more, In my “Gender inequality in Video Games” paper, I brought up evidence talking about the proportion of women compared to men working in a game related field. I explained how the evidence basically demonstrated that there was a disproportionate amount of males and females working in the video game field. I also recommend a solution to fix the issue of the disproportionate amount of women and and men working in the video game field. I recommended that companies should encourage more females so that more of them can join a video game related fields. Now looking back at it, I have noticed that I could have said “Video game companies can have free STEM programs which will help to encourage and maybe get more women interested in that subject”. If I said that I think it would be a little more convincing and help further support my claims. I did enjoy this semester’s writing assignments, I was basically allowed to write something that pertained to my interests.

Hend Elwahwah

The Portfolio….

It wouldn’t let me post all 3 but ill post the titles

“Its beauty in the struggle” – Essay

“Photo Essay, middle child” – Essay

And one homework assignment would be the research memos on rent.

Hend Elwahwah

Dr. Hall

Artist Statement


        Me as a writer… well, it did not start off so easy. Throughout high school, I most definitely did not know how to write. I never believed in myself to ever even try as much as I wanted to. Also, my High school teachers were doing a great job at belittling my writing. All I had ever learned from high school was, “Sound professional, use big words.” That is not ME writing, that is what my teachers wanted to hear. It didn’t make me comfortable in any way possible, at some point I just started putting big words together to try to make a sentence that would sound good. That was what lead me to grow a hatred for writing. I’ve always felt like it would be a drag every time a teacher assigned us an essay to get done. During the end of senior year in high school it was time to apply for college, all I could think about was mostly, English class. My teachers in high school had always belittled my writing abilities and skills, which left me at not believing in myself. I could remember how nerve wrecking it was just to think about college classes. All I was telling myself was, “what am I going to do in English class?” “I don’t know how to write” “My professor is probably going to think I am an idiot.”


        August 28th, 2018… college has started. First week of English class, we already got assigned an essay. At that moment, I lost it. I was afraid if I ended up with a terrible grade in the class because of my writing. I turned in the paper and got a C. That is terrible. Dr. Hall was my English professor and had told me to meet her in her office hours. I went to her office hour and she spoke to me and changed my thoughts about myself as a writer. She had told me, don’t use big words, stop trying to sound professional, sound like YOURSELF. . Speak like yourself, express your thoughts, ideas, and etc. I had started that class with a C, and ended up finishing the class with an A. At that moment I believed in myself. With the help of Dr. Hall I grew a love and passion for writing.


        Who am I as a writer? As a writer, I am myself. Not what others want me to be. What characterizes my writing would be the types of genres that I love to write in and that usually catch my eye. I love to write about my personal day to day life because you never know what the person reading my work is going through. It takes a lot to write about your personal life, but I feel like that is me as a writer. My writing has changed drastically over the years of schooling. As I mentioned high school did not help me a single bit. This is the end of my first year of college, and I genuinely feel like English 1101 and 1121 is what shaped me as a writer. Having a professor that always believed in you and always left positivity in the end of paper you submit, it makes you want to write more. It took me a while to find out who I am as a writer and what my strengths and weaknesses are. My strengths in writing would be placing the reader in my shoes, to look at the bigger picture of life, and to get deep. My goal is to always change the readers mindset to positivity and make them feel like they have a purpose. My weaknesses would be plenty. I still am growing  as a writer, and plan on working on my writing every time I have the chance too. One of my main weak points would be not knowing how to start an essay, analysis, a writing and not knowing how to end it. Also, grammar. I am in the process of learning on how to become a better writer, for myself.


       There are many examples of how I have overcome my weaknesses in my writing. I’ve learned in this class over the past semester on how to focus on my weakness. As I have mentioned my main weakness would be not knowing where to start and end an analysis, essay, etc. This semester I had wrote an essay that maybe isn’t the greatest to others but something I’m very proud of for believing in myself to overcome my weakness. Thanks to Dr. Halls technique of the classwork she made us do about what setting we were in, what are we thinking, what color is the room, what time is it that you’re writing this. It has helped me alot in learning how to start and end an essay. The essay was named, “Its Beauty In The Struggle.” The evidence of overcoming my weakness would be, “It was a winter morning in Brooklyn, New York around 6:30 A.M., sunrise hitting my window, I am all bundled up, drinking my hot chocolate, listening to music on shuffle, the song “Love Yourz” starts playing by J.Cole, aka the G.O.A.T, mind you this is my all time favorite song and I always listen to it. But for some reason that morning I stopped and thought to myself, “What is J.Cole’s message in this song? What is he trying to say?.” I started listening more towards the lyrics. I also watched the music video because it explains the song in a visual way. What J.Cole is trying to portray for the audience in this song is to always be thankful for what you have. Trying to achieve your dream gets many people caught up with trying to make your dream turn into reality.” (Beauty, 1) That right there proves to me I have overcome my weakness,  maybe not fully, but definitely better than I had ever expected. I seriously never knew how to start an essay or to even end one and for me to write all that and let me tell you I’m so proud of myself. 


     This is just the beginning of myself as a writer. To whoever reading this, you will get there and I promise you, you will make yourself proud. A major tip that I had learned in English 1121, focus on your weakness and try to get better for there. Always ask your professor for some feedback along the way. I mean hey, that’s what they’re there for! Always be kind to yourself as a writer, I’ve learned that the hard way that I wish I knew earlier. Everybody is different, and we all have our imperfections in things. Your writing may be terrible to you, but to others it may be amazing. A message from a person that was just in those shoes, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!! You are you, and you are unique.