1. Read & comment on one other person’s Media Share #3 (someone with no comments or only a few comments).
2. Read & comment on one other person’s Essay 1 (scroll down and choose carefully). In your feedback, tell them what you think the conflict they should try to develop is as well as a moment in their essay that they should expand into a scene (a “movie in the mind”).
3. Namwali Serpell’s “Triptych: Texas Pool Party” is the next on our reading list, and what I want you to pick up on here is not only the conflict at the heart of this essay—racism, police brutality, and so on—but also the extremely creative way in which Serpell plays with perspective in this experimental narrative. You’ll notice that she tells the story in three parts, hence the title. Each part re-tells the same story from a different perspective. Here’s what I want you to respond to in this text and how:
A. First, tell me why Serpell may have titled this text “Triptych” (hint: click the link above). Then I want you to describe to me the perspective—the point of view—from which each of the three parts is written. For each part, consider: is this one or more than one person narrating and how do I know? Is this even a person narrating—and how do I know? If this is a person, can they be identified—and how do I know or not know? If so, who is this person—and how do I know?
You’ll notice I just said “how do I know” about five thousand times. This is because I want you to get into the habit of asking yourself this question when you interpret texts you are reading. To that end, in each of your responses—to parts 1, 2, and 3 of Serpell’s text—I want you to include one quotation to serve as evidence of who you think the narrator is (who the perspective of each part belongs to). This will be fun…and probably hard!
A1. Part I
A2. Part II
A3. Part II
Optional/Extra-credit: How does Serpell’s telling this story through these three different “lenses” lead us to think differently about the main conflicts—racism, police brutality, etc.—that are at stake in this text? What, moreover, do you think of Serpell’s work?
B. I want you to write two versions of a scene for your Essay 1 (a scene, remember, is a description of action that allows your reader to form a “movie in the mind”). In the first version, I want this scene to be written from your perspective (using “I”). In the second version, I want you to experiment (like Serpell) with writing the same scene from another perspective. You can write from the perspective of another person present in the scene, from the perspective of an animal present in the scene, an object present in the scene (a desk, a phone, a car), and so on…
B1. Scene for Essay 1 from your perspective (“I”)
B2. Same scene, told from the perspective of another person, animal, or object
I think the reason Serpell titled this text “Triptych” is because in the essay she includes three different perspectives of the pool party incident.
A1. Part I
In the first section of the essay, I believe there isn’t anyone narrating this part and it’s all in third-person view. The reason I think so is that there are many people being mentioned (Grace, Joy, and Tatyana) and talked about and there was the constant use of words like “Us” and “We.” It states “Oh shit, y’all her what Grace said? And all us girls are low-key swiveling up behind grace…. And this other white lady, fat like her friend, she tells grace, all to the side-like, giving her some womanly advice and shit.” Just by reading this quote, I could tell that this was in a third-person view because it almost feels like someone outside the scene is telling the story, like a reporter or something.
A2. Part II
In this section of the essay, we get to read the perspective of ONE of the officers who were at the scene of the incident. The reason I know it’s the perspective of the officer is because in the first sentence it states “I am a former highway patrol trooper, a US Navy military police veteran, and a corporal.” This quote tells me that the person narrating this part of the essay was a police officer. I wasn’t sure if this was the officer who knelt on the young girl until I read “I duck and weave, eluding her snapping mouth, and I strike at the parts exposed, my crescent grip binding her limbs. Holding them. Down. On the ground. I put her on her knees.” After reading this quote and the rest of the section, I soon realized that this perspective was of the officer who restrained her.
A3. Part III
In the last section of the essay, there is more than one person narrating. There’s a conversation happening between the officer and the other teens. The reason I know there’s more than one person talking is that it states “What is she doing. What the f*ck is she doing(bystander talking). On your face. On the ground (officer talking).” In this quote, we can see that friends of the victim and just people who attended the party are asking the officers what she has done to deserve being pushed on the ground and then an officer just continues on saying commands. Throughout the whole section, we can see when the officer is talking, and when the bystanders are talking.
B1. Version 1 (My perspective)
Beez Beez Beez!!!!! I slowly woke up and reached for my phone to shut off that stupid alarm. I peacefully went back to sleep only to be awakened by my mother, she pulled my blanket and started to yell “wake up, you’re going to be late for your first day.” Today was my first day of hell, another word for high school. I didn’t want to get out of my bed but it was getting late, I started to get ready and tried to eat breakfast but couldn’t. I was so nervous that nothing felt appetizing, I wanted to throw up but I don’t have time to waste. I say goodbye to my parents, and make my way to school. The walk to school felt like forever, I didn’t want to be late but I also didn’t want to go at all. After walking what felt like miles on end, I started to see a big and tall building. It looked like a scary dungeon, not what I expected a high school to look like but I’m not surprised. I can already see crowds of people waiting to enter and just by seeing that, it made my stomach ache, I wanted to turn back around and go home. I slowly made it to the front entrance where everyone was. I see all kinds of people around me, they all looked older, Are they really high school students? I ask myself. I didn’t know how to answer that question. I began to look around at random things to make myself look occupied and less awkward but I couldn’t help myself, I look like I don’t belong here. I’m 4’9 for god’s sake, I don’t see anyone close to my height, they all look like they belong in the NBA, and I’m on the bench. After waiting for a few minutes, we started to swipe our ID cards and enter the building. Everyone was pushing and rushing to get to class before the late bell rang, I followed so I wouldn’t be stepped on like a piece of gum in the ground. I took out my ID card and was preparing to swipe my card. It looked easy but my mind tends to complicate things. I started to get nervous and make up the worst scenarios in my head. What if my ID card rings? Which way do I hold my card? What if my card falls? I have to stop and pick it up which is going to piss off the people behind me, right? These stupid questions were drilling inside my head. It was my turn to swipe, the principal was in front of me, smiling and said “Good morning” I was so focused on swiping my card right I didn’t have time to reply. My hands shaking, I put my Id card in the slot and swiped. “Your good to go,” said the principal. I saw my picture on the screen with green borders, this indicated that I had the green light to enter the building. I let out a big sigh, then I thought to myself this was only the beginning, I have a longggg day ahead of me, oh boy.
B2. Version 2 (My mother’s perspective)
As a mother, I have to wake up early and get my kids ready for school. My eldest daughter is starting high school, today is her first day of school. I’m nervous for her, I made a silent prayer and hope that she’s protected from any bad influence. I never went to high school so I don’t know what it’s like, but I know it could change her. My parents don’t agree with letting her attend school, back in my country girls never attended school so it was a shock for my relatives back home to hear that my daughter is going to be attending. I hope I’m not making a bad decision. I get up from the bed and begin waking up my kids. I went to Maram’s room and yelled “wake up, you’re going to be late for your first day.” I could tell she was terrified and didn’t want to go but that’s normal, everyone gets nervous for the first day of school. When she finally begins to get ready, I head downstairs to make her and the rest of my family breakfast. I decided to make scrambled eggs, and microwave homemade bread I made a few days ago. I also make tea for myself, while I wait for her to come and eat. Finally, she comes down wearing the new outfit I bought her, “Are you excited for your first day?” I say in Arabic, “I’m nervous” she responds. I told her to eat but she refused, I wanted her to eat but I knew she couldn’t hold down her food when she was nervous. “It’s getting late,” she says, I turn and look at the clock. It was 7:45, she had to be at school by 8. I get up and hug her, telling her to stay safe and call me if anything happens. I was a bit nervous watching her go but deep down I knew she would be fine.
A1. Part I (Revised)
In Serpells text “Triptych” she includes three different perspectives of the incident. Part one titled “Summertime” is written in a plural point of view/shifting point of view because of the consistent use of us, we, our, etc. This tells me that there’s more than one person being talked about in this section. Another indication that made me realize it was written from a plural point of view was “All us boys are lowkey falling back… all us girls are low-key swiveling up behind grace.” This quote from the section also tells me that there’s more than one person being mentioned. After reading this quote, I believe that it’s the point of view of a group of young friends who were at the party.
Maram, great. You’ve got Parts I & II in your grasp–just be sure to clarify that I is in first-person plural point of view (we/us). Can you also revise your response to Part III so that it is a bit more concise and clear regarding the perspective from which this part of the story is told?
As to your own two versions of your Essay 1 scene, they are fabulous. One thought: what about including the Arabic in your essay–as well as the translated English? I’m not sure OpenLab is set up to do Arabic, but certainly there must be a way via Microsoft Word or Google Docs…
In the text “Triptych: Texas Pool Party” by Namwali Serpell, the author uses different perspectives of a situation that happened between a young black woman and a white police officer. I believe the author decided to use the title “Triptych”, because she wanted to include different views of the incident, which helps build up the story. In each part of the story it had a different set of details, which at the end made the story clear. While readers read the story they start to realize how the story really takes place by the different perspectives, and different details of each side of the story. On google it states that a triptych is a set of three art pieces, or writings put together to connect to each other.
A1: Summertime
In the section “Summertime”, the story is being told by a young black individual who was at the event, and is close to the young black girl who was involved in the altercation. I believe this part of the story is a first person perspective based on the way the person explains how the situation escalated (mainly by racism), and how the person felt in the situation. The whole situation was caused by a racist white woman who wanted a young black girl and her friends to leave the event. I am glad that the young black woman stood up to the racist white lady, but sad that just by the color of her skin ended up with her being kneeled on by a white police officer. I believe this part of the story is in first person based on the language that was used in that part of the story, for example the use of “we’, “us”, etc. But I don’t believe this is the perspective of the young black girl who got into the altercation due to the fact the person never uses “I’’, the person always using “we”and “they” as if she knew the girl but it wasn’t her that was physically involved. In the text it states “Go back to Section 8. And Tatyana, who lives here, says: Excuse me? And this woman, who doesn’t, slaps Tatyana in her Face. And then they’re entwined like lovers, fingers in each other’s hair. There is death here, don’t you know? There is death everywhere, you already know. And the knowing is glitter in your hands.” This shows that it wasn’t really the person involved with the white lady but probably someone she knew based on the way she knows her name (Tatyana).
A2: Perseus
In this section of the story I believe the situation is being told from the police officer perspective, which is told in a first person point of view. Based on the police officer point of view he was just doing his job. He believed that the young black woman was intoxicated, this situation caused him to be suspended from his job. He viewed many police altercations from the past but I don’t believe he thought he would be in that type of situation even though he had a lot of training. And I also don’t think he regrets what he did to the black woman, but maybe regrets the way the situation was handled. I believe this is told in a first person perspective because of the way the word “I” is used in this part of the story. In the story it states “as she shrieks, I sink my grip deep into her shoulder. Wounded sorely, she rears upright, high in the air, bucking in her frenzy, then dives down. I duck and weave, eluding her snapping mouth, and I strike at the parts exposed, my crescent grip binding her limbs. Holding them down. On the ground. I put her on her knees.”
A3: What Was Said
In this part of the article I think the story is being told from who people saw the altercation happen, or what was recorded. In the text it states”What is wrong. You’re hurting her. Why you holding her down for. Can you not. Why are you dragging her.” This could be a person at the scene questioning the actions of the police office during the incident.
Extra credit:
I believe the that the different point of view of each section of the story made us feel what each person felt during the situation, but also leaving out certain details from each section allowing for all three sections together to show you why is it happening, how did it happen, where it happened, and how each person felt during the situation. This helps clarify the main conflict which is police brutality and racism. Each lense has clear descriptive details that allows the reader to put a picture image of what exactly is happening in each part of the story. I think this style of writing is very interesting because I think its cool how three pieces of the a story or a different point of view can ultimately put together one interesting story, but in the process making the conflict of the story clear and appealing for readers.
B1: My Perspective
It was Saturday morning, my phone was buzzing non-stop, I check my messages and my friends are going on and on about a party that was happening later that night. It was my first week of college and I knew I had assignments due, I didn’t even want to go to this party but I was dragged out of the house by my best friends. I decided to go knowing I have nothing in my boring closet to wear, but also knowing that I am not really a party person due to the fact that I don’t really smoke or really drink, and I don’t really like to socialize. It’s not that I hate talking to people, it’s just talking to people you know you’re never going to see in a few hours. Sitting on what seems to be steaming hot leather sits, I watch out the window knowing that I don’t know this area, also thinking about how I know it’s going to be a long night. Finally reaching the event I see a crowd of people in front of the event as if they don’t know what “social distancing” is, each person seems to have either a blunt, a bottle of alcohol, or their caribbean flag in their hand. Inside the party was also crowded, it was in a big open space with tents up, for drinks, food, and the Dj area. The music was so loud but I started to feel the vibes, paint was thrown, powder was thrown, and I honestly started to have a good time after a few drinks. But of course that didn’t last too long. Bottles started to be thrown, and people started yelling. It’s honestly crazy how people act when they get a few drinks in their system. I decided to be nosey and see what exactly the drama was about, and over it was one of my best friends arguing with a girl that seemed to be 4ft tall. I rolled my eyes, knowing that I shouldn’t have been surprised that she was involved. They started arguing back and forth, as if a fight was actually going to break out. I have been known for fight but it just seemed wrong getting involved with a fight with a girl who is 4ft tall, and is very skinny. But then she called her friends and instant fighting mode broke out. It was 3 on 3, punch for punch. The fight was broken up, but all I know is the girl I was fighting is still missing her wig.
B2: My friend point of view
An advertisement for a party popped on my phone, and we just had to go. Because of this stupid pandemic this summer has litaery been the most boring summer of my teenage years. It seemed like the perfect way to end the summer and get back into the schedule of having to bust our asses off for non-stop assignments. Convincing my friends to go was not a problem, and finding something to wear was definitely not the problem either, but something in my mind was telling me not to go. Ignoring the clear signs we went anyways, being so excited we all hit our first drink. From the back of my cold breeze flew by, slowly turning around, my mouth start to water. And boom a girl who doesn’t like me staring hard, me and this girl went back and forth on social media. Trying to be the bigger person, turned back around. But of course she threw a drink at me and missing, rage instantly flooded my soul, every curse word known to man left my tongue. She turned around to her friends and two 5ft gobble heads popped up behind her. Doing the same my friends popped up behind me, it was as if it was only the 6 of us in the room, even though it was filled with hundreds of people. Of course she threw the first hit, missing my face completely. It was as if we were in a movie every hit was in slow motion allowing me to have a counter attack. A which started a brawl broke out. At the end me and my friends were okay, with one of my friend swinging around a cheap wig.
part 3 (revised)
I believe that the last part of Triptych: Texas Pool Party” by Namwali Serpell is a combination of the people who saw the incident but don’t personally know the people in action. I believe that part of the story is to know what other people were seeing and what exactly was said, and how the emotion of during the situation. Or what the police or authority heard based on video recordings. This part of the story is to show readers how people who don’t really know the whole story felt, saw, and what they said to help.
Kamille, hi. You’ve got Part II in your grasp–just be sure to clarify whether you understand Part I as being told in the singular (by an individual) or plural (by a group of people); you suggest both of these things in your response, but I think one is more true than the other. Also, can you also revise your response to Part III so that it is a bit more concise and clear regarding the perspective from which this part of the story is told?
As to your own two versions of your Essay 1 scene, they are very engaging and believably show us the more aggressive outlook of the friend who begins the fight. A couple thoughts: in your Essay 1, can you go into more of the backstory on social media that led to this fight? I also wonder if you can imagine the perspective of the short girl. It seems relevant.
A1) In the first part of the essay,it begins with one of the black boys’ perspectives before or perhaps when the incident has occurred. Throughout this perspective, it explains about how great or relaxing summer can really be. But with their struggles due to the color of their skin, they’re forced to face judgement from whites. But it’s also not only from one person perspective as in first person but it is being told as in third person with the amount of people that are in this story. To include the fact that, “Us” “We”.
A2) In the second part, it is clearly the officer who started the incident or was one of the police that was called to the incident for backup. It states “I am a former highway patrol trooper, a U.S Navy military police veteran, and a corporal.” Towards the end of this part, it then goes to the part where the incident seems to happen where the girl was harassed by the police. It states “The girl is calling, like a child, for her mother, and scarce has she made her plea when through her limbs a dragging languor spreads and she sits, as if in a tantrum, and sets her fist into her hand.”
A3) Finally, in the last part of the essay, perhaps it was either a friend, a family member or even the mother that witnessed the incident out of anyone. While the girl was being put down to the ground, the friend or family member was recording for further evidence. She was so scared and frightened and wanted to give the officer a piece of her mind to make him get off but was too scared to say so. She kee[s telling herself that she has rights, but nothing comes out. It also states that she was also assaulted by the cop. It also shows how she was defending her, that she told the cop to get away due to the officer coming in closer and how the officer is not going to have his job after this. But was all said in her head and not allowed due to her being scared of the cop abusing his power he has as an officer.
B1) It was a gloomy Sunday morning, my mother was waking me up to get ready for church like every Sunday but today was different. It was Mother’s Day and unlike every other Sunday, I knew today the church was going to be packed with a bunch of other kids and their mothers. Personally, I wanted to stay home and celebrate this at home in peace, but my mother loved the church too much to not go. I was ready to go but my brother who’s older than me had to go too and wasn’t ready or interested at all. See my brother was not really the type to go anywhere with the family, I’m not like that too but I was kinda forced too since I was the youngest out of my whole family. But today was so much different for my brother as if he had so much guilt built up for this day but for what reason I have no idea. All I know is that he was just being a lousy jerk to everyone, especially my mom on a day where she deserved to be loved. After church, we were on our home, but while walking back my brother and my mom were arguing. It was scary because since I was young I thought my mom was going to kick me and my brother out. That’s what I used to think as a kid back then because of movies I watched where the brother gets kicked out with the younger one l. But no one got kicked, instead it ended up with my brother making my mother cry on Mother’s Day and my brother crying as well because of two things. Regretting he made mom cry and a song by Eminem released that day called “Headlights” which he apologized to his mother on Mother’s Day.
B2) It was a happy day where I can be fed and loved by my beautiful family. It’s my job to protect my family and love them when they are feeling down. My name is Seven, I’m a cute little Yorkie who loves to bark at every little noise I hear. If it’s to scare off the scary people that will hurt my family, I’ll gladly do it. Mamma went to church like every Sunday and when she comes back she always loves me and gives me lots of attention. But today was different, today she completely ignored me and went straight to her room. I went to check in her room and saw her crying. I don’t like that. So I jumped to her bed and comforted her as best as I can. After a few minutes it was nothing but silent on bed and heard her whispering, “No matter what, I forgive you Josue and love you”
Nice to read you, Eufemio. You definitely are on your way to a nuanced reading of the different perspectives in Serpell’s text. Can you clarify, though, what leads you to think the story begins with a “black boy’s perspective”? Also, please be a little bit more clear and concise about the POV of part III—as we discussed in the Zoom chat, this doesn’t seem to be a human perspective…although a human is responsible for the making of this perspective (hopefully this cryptic hint sets you on the right path…).
As for the multiple perspectives of your own Essay 1 scene, I love the use of the dog’s perspective; this is very entertaining. What do you want it to show us about this story, though? I find myself wanting more details on your bro “being a jerk” to people at church. Perhaps you can include his perspective as well to show us this?
Aldo Pena
A1:
In the first section of the essay, It’s described to the reader as mostly 3rd person.. Many people are mentioned but words like “us” and “we” are used a lot. A serious situation was caused by a racist white woman who wanted a young black girl and her friends to leave the event. But the young black woman stood up to the racist white lady, but said that just by the color of her skin ended up with her being kneeled on by a white police officer. But throughout the altercation the narrator never uses “I”. “The girl is calling Like a child, for her mother, and scarce has she made her plea when through her limbs a dragging languor spreads and she sits, as if in a tantrum, and sets her fist into her hand.” This is where I know it’s in third person. Constantly referring to themselves as “her” or “she”.
A2:
In the second section of the essay, the perspective of the officer who was at the incident comes into play. “I am a former highway patrol trooper, a US Navy military police veteran, and a corporal.” As I was reading, this line right here immediately told me that the person narrating this part of the essay was one of the cops .Another quote is “As I kneel there upon her, a strange serenity descends, The burn of my bravery swirls in my veins, and intoxicating drowse.” After reading this quote and the rest of the essay, I came to a realization that this was the officer who was on her neck.
A3:
While I was reading the final section of the essay I noticed that the conversation was happening between the officer and the other teens. The reason I know is because it says “Shit he’s fucking abusing her. He pulled out his gun on her. No I didn’t. Get your butts out of here.
That’s my cousin. He pulled out his gun at her. Get outta here or you’re going too. Hey don’t come over here. Get back.” In this quote, we can see the conversation between those watching and the officers on the scene.
B1:
Something fun I did with my friends was wear the same outfit for a party. I would plan for the best outfit and a good 15 of us would just blow everyone away at the high school party. While I was in boring math classes my friend and I would pass around sticky notes on all the latest jokes in school. We would be laughing throughout all the easy classes, all while not paying attention to what was being taught in class. Since I was not behaving I became regulars in detention. We pranked our friends just to have fun and a good laugh. It was something that became normal for all of us. Everyone was getting some sort of prank pulled on them including me and this wouldn’t happen just in school. It was a great way to get out of boredom and learn something new.
B2:
I was always ending up in the office because of how many things me and Aldo used to do, such as pranks and jokes. I remember me and him always skipping class just to be hanging out in the library messing around and sometimes we would get away with it other times we wouldn’t. In this one math class Aldo had passed around a bunch of crunched up papers. With it we would be constantly aiming and shooting them at the trash can everytime the teacher turned around. We would be doing this everyday till eventually we started to get caught and became the main faces you’d see in detention.
B2: (Revised)
Throughout high school I was always fooling around with my Classmates. A classmate in particular is my close friend Aldo. I was always ending up in the office because of how many things me and Aldo used to do, such as pranks and jokes. I remember me and him always skipping Class just to be hanging out in the library messing around and sometimes we would get away with it other times we wouldn’t. In this one math class Aldo had passed around a bunch of crunched up papers. With it we would be constantly aiming and shooting them at the trash can every time the teacher turned around. We would be doing this everyday till eventually we started to get caught and became the main faces you’d see in detention. We were all very different but we all had some common interests. I was a pretty smart kid so I thought that if we could get into the same classes as each other then we would have a good chance of getting into the same schools.
Aldo, a pleasure to read you as always. Regarding Serpell, you nailed Part 2, and for Part 3 you are most of the way there in noticing that what is being captured by the narrating perspective here is “conversation.” Can you take this one step further and tell us more concisely what the perspective through which we are “listening” to this conversation is? It’s not a human… Also, careful with Part 1; this section is not told in third-person perspective given the prevalence of first-person plural pronouns being used (we/us). What is the group being represented here.
I like your revised scene the most because at last you are giving us a specific scene (“in this one math class”) with specific, detailed actions (Aldo passing around crunched up papers, shooting them at the trash can, etc.). This is great storytelling but can you extend this sort of detail to the other parts of your story as well? I wanna know about the details of the parties; I want to know what it was that made certain classes easy and boring etc. More please!
Serpell titled this text “Triptych” because Serpell divided one story into three parts. He is telling the story from three different points of view in order for the readers to understand the story better and get the gist. Sometimes when the story is being seen only from the main character’s perspective, you can’t really tell much about the situation and surroundings the characters are in.
Extra Credit: Serpell’s telling this story through these three different “lenses” led us to think differently about the main conflicts by comparing how the situation was seen from three different characters. For example, in the story, the cops were being racist towards the young black girl and her friends because of their color. But when the cop was telling the story from his perspective, he was trying to show the readers that they were seen as a danger. Even though the girl and her friends were innocent, the cop chose to take action and abuse the little girl.
A1)Summertime:
This part of the story is being seen from the perspective of a young black girl, who I believe is the main character. She is describing how she is feeling and everything that she is seeing. In the text she states “Our bodies in and out of the pool, hanging on the edge, dangling over. This tells that she and her friends are just having fun and doing their own thing. She is enjoying her time. Also, she says “ A feeling swarns in: no homework for the foreseeable future.” She is talking about the feeling that she is getting. She took a moment to feel the relaxation and no worries to do further homework. She is happy to enjoy her summer. From her perspective, she is telling the readers that she and her friends are doing nothing illegal and aren’t violating anything.
A2)Perseus:
The second part of the story is being told from a cop’s perspective. In the text, he states “I am a former highway patrol trooper, a US Navy military police veteran, and a corporal.” A racist cop who took action against the people at the pool party because of their color. Instead of having a peaceful conversion, he abused a little 15-year-old girl. From his perspective, he is trying to show the readers that the kids are violent when they are actually innocent and have done nothing wrong.
A3)What Was Said:
The last part of the story is being told by one of the friends from the party and the cop. The friend tells the cops “what is wrong. You’re hurting her.” The friend was trying to stop the cop from abusing the young girl. The cop states “Get outta here or you’re going too.” The cop doesn’t have a valid excuse to violate anyone at the party.
B1) My perspective:
Two weeks left until summer vacation. It’s junior year. It’s the last week to hand in all the late and unfinished work. And knowing me obviously I have tons of work to finish. No matter how much time I have, I always end up finishing my work last minute. I come home from school. I have a Spanish project due tomorrow and the day after that I have US history regents. Instead of getting started with my work, I continue doing my own thing. In my head, I tell myself I still have enough time. It’s only 4 pm, 12 am-4 pm = 6 hours so that’s enough time to finish my work, I tell myself. Time goes by and the next thing you know is it’s 1 in the morning. I finally got to work. I try my best to finish all my work and stay focused for the next 5 to 6 hours. Everyone was dead asleep except me and my mom. I told her to go to sleep but she hesitated. She stayed with me in the living room while I got my work done. I always wake up for school at 6 am. I finished most of my work and left the rest for after school. It’s 5 am, I could see the sun coming up. I went to take a cold shower so it can give me some energy for school. I play my sad hours playlist on Spotify thinking why do I do this to myself. I tell myself “wow I really pulled off an all-nighter and am going to school with zero hours of sleep.” But I felt refreshed. After that, I went to school, and surprisingly I wasn’t late. The crazy part was the whole day in school I wasn’t sleepy at all. The fact that I can get things done last minute is the reason why I still procrastinate.
B2)My mom’s perspective:
I hate it when people do things at the last minute. Knowing that my youngest daughter does the one thing I hate. Since she entered high school, I always told her to never leave your work to finish at the last minute. It’s 1 in the morning and I see her do her work. I know she has school and needs to wake up early in the morning so I am confused. “When are you going to sleep?” I ask her. She answers, “I have to finish this project, it’s due tomorrow.” I know the teacher gave her enough time to finish it. So my main question is why didn’t she start it earlier or a few days ago when she got it. She gives me a dumb excuse. I start yelling at her. I tell her “you had all this time but you wasted it, now look at you struggling to work your ass off.” She ended up staying up the whole night and I couldn’t just let her be because I know she will end up falling asleep or get distracted. So I stayed up with her. I kept falling asleep on the couch and waking up every five minutes. I felt bad because I know she was trying her best to get things done but it’s all her fault. That is exactly why I always yell at her because she always procrastinates when it comes to her school work.
(Revised)
I believe the first part of the story is being told by different people, not just a young black girl. It’s being seen from a few people’s perspectives. In the first part, the friends were explaining the environment and surrounding around them. In the text, it says “all us boys are low-key falling back” and “all us girls are low-key swiveling behind Grace”, basically there is more than one person talking.
In the last part of the story, the cop and one of the friends were having a conversation. So the story is being seen from two people’s perspectives. But the cop also talks about the phone capturing everything when one of the friends was recording the scene.
Great work on Serpell, Mehreen. By the time you’ve revised, you not only nailed your descriptions and evidence of the perspective in each of the three parts, but you also provided nice analysis of how the three different perspectives allow us to see more of the motivations behind several of the characters’ actions–notably the racism underlying the cop’s actions.
Your scenes are fabulous too, showing us different sides of the same conflict: having to do schoolwork you dread and not wanting to and therefore procrastinating. But revealed here is also a conflict between you and your mother (who hates procrastination). I’ll be curious to see how you develop these conflicts in your revised Essay 1.
A.) I think that the title is called “Triptych” because the author divides this story in to 3 different parts, each part is like a different perspective.
A1.) The perspective of the Summertime part of the essay is the perspective of a regular bystander. The person talking in part 1 of the essay seems to be someone who is familiar to everything going on in the setting. This person never singles themselves out when speaking but includes themselves by saying words like “we” and talks in third person of other people.
A2.) The perspective of the “Perseus” part of the essay is of a police officer. The police officer makes it clear who he is by stating all of his achievements, He states “I am a former highway patrol trooper, a US Navy military police veteran, and a corporal”. Even with all of these major roles and training from different enforcement jobs, he was still another cop that kneed down on the neck of a female, not only a female but a 15 year old girl. The police officer explains how at the moment he was using his training and only thinking about arresting and getting control over the person. But then realizes that he will be getting suspended and all he’s going to hear during his suspension is how he kneeled on a 15 year old girl’s neck while she was yelling for her mother.
A3.) In the last part of the essay, titled “ What was said”. The perspective of this entire piece is the comments of all of the people around the police officer when he was trying to “detain” her. People are making comments like “why are you dragging her?” because the police officer was abusing his power without thinking about the right way to take care of the situation without hurting anyone in the process.
B1.) As I’m driving down FDR Drive I hear a noise coming from my left side of the car but for some reason I ignored the sound thinking it was a car next to me. 20 minutes go past of stop and go traffic and just as traffic starts to clear up and everything starts to speed up, I feel like I went into slow motion. All I felt was a big thud as I saw the wheel of my car leaving the car and I saw the shiny lugnuts flying into the air. It felt almost like I was the flash and the whole world was going in slow motion while I am just looking around trying to figure out what just happened to me.
A.) I think that the title is called “Triptych” because the author divides this story in to 3 different parts, each part is like a different perspective.
A1.) The perspective of the Summertime part of the essay is the perspective of a regular bystander. The person talking in part 1 of the essay seems to be someone who is familiar to everything going on in the setting. This person never singles themselves out when speaking but includes themselves by saying words like “we” and talks in third person of other people.
A2.) The perspective of the “Perseus” part of the essay is of a police officer. The police officer makes it clear who he is by stating all of his achievements, He states “I am a former highway patrol trooper, a US Navy military police veteran, and a corporal”. Even with all of these major roles and training from different enforcement jobs, he was still another cop that kneed down on the neck of a female, not only a female but a 15 year old girl. The police officer explains how at the moment he was using his training and only thinking about arresting and getting control over the person. But then realizes that he will be getting suspended and all he’s going to hear during his suspension is how he kneeled on a 15 year old girl’s neck while she was yelling for her mother.
A3.) In the last part of the essay, titled “ What was said”. The perspective of this entire piece is the comments of all of the people around the police officer when he was trying to “detain” her. People are making comments like “why are you dragging her?” because the police officer was abusing his power without thinking about the right way to take care of the situation without hurting anyone in the process.
B1.) As I’m driving down FDR Drive I hear a noise coming from my left side of the car but for some reason I ignored the sound thinking it was a car next to me. 20 minutes go past of stop and go traffic and just as traffic starts to clear up and everything starts to speed up, I feel like I went into slow motion. All I felt was a big thud as I saw the wheel of my car leaving the car and I saw the shiny lugnuts flying into the air. It felt almost like I was the flash and the whole world was going in slow motion while I am just looking around trying to figure out what just happened to me.
B2.) That day was a normal September day, and I’m driving home from work and all of a sudden I saw something happen out of the corner of my eye in the rear view mirror and when I looked, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I have always watched videos of this happening but I never thought that I would ever see it with my eyes. The wheel of a white suv popped straight off of the car and the wheel is coming straight towards the back of my car. I speed up and move to the left lane to avoid getting hit by the wheel and see it hit the side railing of the highway. And for the rest of the day I was in shock of how close I was to potentially lose my life in just a split second.
Francisco, these are great revisions–I can’t tell which of these scenes is told from your perspective, but I’m not sure that matters. We’ll have to see how you develop these for your Essay 1—I suppose you could write it about learning how to drive in traffic and the various conflicts of the road.
As for your responses to Serpell, you nailed Part 2, but I think you should go back and have another look at Parts 1 and 3: I don’t think 1 is written from the perspective of a bystander and Part 3 certainly shows us the speech of those around the police officer (as you rightly mention), but I’m not sure that answers the question of whose perspective this is (or, rather, what the “source” of these voices is–ie, where they are being “recorded”). Take another stab at it.
I think The Serpell titled this text “Triptych” because she divided this text into three parts to show three different perceptive.
A1
In the text “Triptych” section 1 “summertime”,
The young black girl described about herself that how she was feeling. She stated “Our bodies in and out of the pool, hanging on the edge,dangling over”. This shows that she had a fun and she was enjoying pool party with her friends. But there were racist people who were keep staring at them and made them feel uncomfortable .”Frowning white ladies by the pool shaking their heads at us. Country-ass dudes with bellies hanging over their shorts,with the look in their eye. We catch snatches of Words from their eye’’ The girl and her friends didn’t say anything to them .They just ignored. According to her perspective, the story is a first person point of view.
A2
This part of the story is being told by police officer’s perspective. He stated”I am a former highway patrol trooper,a U.S Navy military police veteran, and a corporal”. He was being racist who abused 15-years old black girl and kneeled on her neck. She was innocent but still she suffered from this situation.
A3
This part of the story is being told by one of her friends or a person who was watching the incident and the police officer. Someone stated “ what is wrong. You’re hurting her.” This shows that a person was questioning the police officer because he kneeled on her neck.
Serpell may have named the text as “Triptych” due to its style of being told in three points of view, similarly to how a triptych is described as being a work of art divided into three sections.
A1:
I think that this point of view is from a teenage African-American, due to the descriptions of their skin: “all of this rolling, dipping brown flesh, like desert dunes in the shadow or desert dunes in the sun”, descriptions of activities that teens all over the country do: “the different kinds of smoke twine their patterns in the slanting light – barbecue and weed and cigarettes and vape”, and the relief of having “no homework for the reasonable future”. I think that this point of view also just comes from one person, as the text doesn’t have shifts in the way that it is conveyed, the speech feels consistent throughout.
A2:
I think that this point of view is from a cop. It is never outright said, but from the descriptions of the narrator’s previous experience as a “former highway patrol trooper, a US Navy military police veteran, and a corporal”, and the listing of the narrator’s capabilities and enforcement resume: “in-depth training in impact-weapon deployment and in expandable baton, firearms, electronic control devices, Positive Assertive Control Tactics–Dynamic Threat Response, handcuffing, joint locks, pressure-point compliance, and armed and unarmed self-defense”, it is heavily implied that this part of the story is from the point of view of a cop responding to a problem which involves the first speaker.
A3:
I think this last part of the story is a third person’s point of view, and it isn’t told by one specific person, rather it is the verbal exchange between a cop, the person that they are apprehending, and the bystanders present. This is supported in the text when it says “What is wrong. You’re hurting her. Why you holding her down for. Can you not. Why are you dragging he.” (bystanders/audience), “On your face. On the ground” (cop), and “My back is hurting” (the victim).
A4:
I think that the triptych style of writing is meant to emphasize how different and non-linear events are. Nothing is ever solely one thing, there are multiple factors to life and it’s events, and that bias and power can lead to abuse of power and the birth of injustice. We see the way that the first narrator is just living life in the moment, while the second narrator does their job with way too much seriousness. Their viewpoint on crime (and possibly black people) makes them see life in a way that a stable person wouldn’t, and thus leads to the violent apprehension that we see. The third paragraph serves as an unbiased source, showing any bystander the unbiased, uncensored and infallible truth. We read what really went down as it went down, and we are then able to draw the conclusion of police brutality and possible racism from it. The way it’s shown through “lenses” encourages us to learn how to think, and to get all the objective truths as we dispense judgment.
B1:
It looks like it’s just another Thursday afternoon in the auditorium, sitting around the back and listening to music to pass the time. Oh well, it’s not like I wanna go home and do homework anyway. When the fuck is this supposed to end? Ah, goddammit. Still another hour left. What the fuck is the whole idea of this play anyway? And why are the house lights turned off? Fuck it, might as well hang around my sister, doesn’t look like she’s too busy anyway. She asks me if I’m bored, and I hold up my phone to show that I’ve got music playing and that I’m chilling for now. These lights at the end of the extended stage are kinda cool, they’re all connected by wires and shit, and the inside of the lens looks interesting. It’s not a single bulb that changes color from what I see, but a bunch of dots honeycombed in colors that make up one singular color. That’s pretty fucking cool. Who’s calling me? Oh shit it’s the guy teacher, what could he want? He wants me to fucking paint a flat? What the fuck about me makes this guy think I’m qualified to do that? Alright, whatever. I’m here anyways, might as well fuckin do something, for fuck’s sake. So I’m supposed to paint a club for this playing card? Alright…. That seems easy enough. I’ve played with cards and had a habit of drawing the symbols back in 8th grade, why the fuck not? I start on one end while the teacher starts on the other, and I slowly forget the music in my headphones. Everything dulled away as my brain spent all effort on remembering how a club looked like. It’s got the stand of a spade, and the leaves of a plant mom used to put in soup back home… easy enough. Watch your angles and the straight line, dumbass. Don’t wanna fuck up the first job now, do we? I draw my lines and after I connect the leaves, I stand back and look at my work. Not bad, for someone who’s never touched a paintbrush before. I look over at the teacher, and he’s staring at the club I just made. Switching glances between my work and his, he slowly lets out a laugh. It’s not the laugh that’d make you feel insecure, but it’s the one that I let out when I know I just did some dumb shit just because I’m not good at that particular thing. He looks at me, and says “Well YOU had the better club out of either of us” and he keeps laughing to himself. I found that funny because I sure as hell didn’t expect the guy who looked like a mean, balding Santa to say something nice like that, and because his club looked like the unholy offspring of a club and a chainsaw blade. I laughed along, and said “Well, there ARE three other flats to paint and practice on, mister. Practice makes perfect, right?”. He chuckles, offers me a fist bump, and says “Indeed it does, little man”. Maybe Drama Club isn’t so boring after all.
B1: (From perspective of house lights)
It’s just another lazy Thursday, I’m turned off again because Dariel’s doing lights and Alice in Wonderland’s in the final stages of production. Also another day of this freshman kid being annoying and not doing anything useful. He’s not in the club, so I guess it’s fine…? It’s whatever, I don’t have to give a shit, all I’m gonna do is relax after being on for the entire goddamn day… It’s always exhausting being a lamp that’s turned on for almost 18 hours a day for most of the school year, so being switched off and seeing the LEDs do their work is always a treat. I can’t wait to see what the kid’s doing with the lights this year.. It’ll be sad to see him leave Newtown after all these years…. What the fuck is this freshman doing? That cast member he’s talking to looks like him… I wonder if that’s his sister. What’s he doing near the lights? You better not get handsy and fuck anything up, shithead. Anything you could fuck up will take a while to fix, and this production doesn’t need that shit right now. Hauss is calling him? Oh I hope the freshman turd gets in trouble. What the fuck is Hauss doing trusting him with a paintbrush? That’s even worse than letting him near the lights! If he fucks up this flat, it’s gonna be your ass who’s responsible for the delay, dude. Oh wow, that’s not actually a bad club, kid. Not bad for a freshman, at least. You made Hauss laugh and he gave you a fist bump? I guess you’re good for now kid… I’ll be keeping an eye on you.
Dominic, this is pretty great–nice to read you as always. My sense is that you may want to refine your responses to Part 1 and Part 3 of Serpell’s text in light of the conversation we’ve been having about her text on Zoom. Part 1 seems like it can’t possibly be written from the perspective of only one person, given the predominance of plural pronouns (us/we). Furthermore, can you develop what you have to say about the “unbiased source” of Part 3? What is this “unbiased source” more specifically? (I love what you have to say about the multiperspectivalism of the text contributing to the reader’s awareness of the non-linearity of events, there being different times at work in different perspectives, for sure…
To that end, I love the contrast (in length and detail) between the times of your two scenes. The first really brings us into the lethargic time of the narrator’s (your?) bored consciousness. Meanwhile, the perspective of the lights seems also to be a bit “meh, whatever” and dull, but there is something much more “objective” in the observation here of mostly external behavior (rather than the subjective, interior thought of the first narrator’s version). Curious how you’ll put these to work in Essay 1.
B1
On Friday, I was coming back from school and my mom knew that I am always happy on Fridays because its weekend. Of course, Who doesn’t? But I wasn’t looking happy and she asked from me that ” What happen? Is everything fine”? I said “Yes, I just need rest”. After sometimes she asked again “Did anything happen? Why are you not looking happy today?” I said “I am not feeling good today I don’t know why and also I have 2 tests on Monday and my counselor is keep saying me to fill the application. I have no idea what will I put there”. She knew that I wasn’t worried about tests . I was just worried about the college application because somehow I felt bad to leave my high school and I overthink about college that how it would be. She suggested me to fill any major for now that I like then after I will have enough time to think and then change major whenever I think it is best time to do that. I kept her advice and did the same. I felt relaxed when I shared my problem with her.
B2 (My mom’s perspective)
I know my daughter is always happy when weekend comes but one day she was coming back from school and I didn’t see her happy as before. I asked her what happened she just said I need rest. I thought may be she tired and after rest she would feel relaxed. But after some time I saw her that she look worried. I asked again that is everything fine and then she shared her problem with me. I felt bad for her. As a mother, I can’t see her worried like this. I gave suggestion which solved her problem and made her feel relaxed.
In the passage, “Triptych: Texas Pool Party” by Namwali Serpell,the creator utilizes alternate points of view of a circumstance that occurred between a youthful individual of color and a white cop. I accept the creator chose to utilize the title “Triptych”, since she needed to incorporate various perspectives on the occurrence, which assists work with increasing the story. In each aspect of the story it had an alternate arrangement of subtleties, which toward the end made the story understood. While perusers read the story they begin to acknowledge how the story truly happens by the alternate points of view, and various subtleties of each side of the story. On google it expresses that a triptych is a lot of three craftsmanship pieces, or compositions set up to interface with one another.
In the segment “Mid year”, the story is being told by a youthful dark person who was at the occasion, and is near the youthful individual of color who was associated with the quarrel. I accept this aspect of the story is a first individual viewpoint dependent on the manner in which the individual clarifies how the circumstance heightened (principally by bigotry), and how the individual felt in the circumstance. The entire circumstance was brought about by a bigot white lady who needed a youthful individual of color and her companions to leave the occasion. I am happy that the youthful person of color faced the bigot white woman, yet tragic that just by the shade of her skin wound up with her being stopped by a white cop. I accept this aspect of the story is in first individual dependent on the language that was utilized in that aspect of the story, for instance the utilization of “we’, “us”, and so on. Yet, I don’t accept this is the point of view of the youthful individual of color who got into the quarrel because of the reality the individual never utilizes “I”, the individual continually utilizing “we”and “they” as though she knew the young lady however it wasn’t her that was genuinely included. In the content it states “Return to Section 8. What’s more, Tatyana, who lives here, says: Excuse me? Also, this lady, who doesn’t, smacks Tatyana in her Face. And afterward they’re laced like darlings, fingers in one another’s hair. There is passing here, don’t you know? There is passing all over the place, you definitely know. Also, the knowing is sparkle in your grasp.” This shows it wasn’t generally the individual engaged with the white woman however presumably somebody she knew depended on the manner in which she knew her name (Tatyana).
The second aspect of the story is being told from a cop’s point of view. In the content, he states “I am a previous interstate watch trooper, a US Navy military police veteran, and a corporal.” A bigot cop who made a move against the individuals at the pool party in view of their shading. Rather than having a serene transformation, he manhandled a little 15-year-old young lady. From his viewpoint, he is attempting to show the perusers that the children are fierce when they are really guiltless and have done nothing incorrectly.
The last aspect of the story is being told by one of the companions from the gathering and the cop. The companion tells the cops “what’s up. That is no joke.” The companion was attempting to prevent the cop from mishandling the little youngster. The cop states “Get outta here or that is no joke.” The cop doesn’t have a legitimate reason to abuse anybody at the gathering.
B1) My perspective:
One week left until spring semester. It’s my last semester of school. It’s the latest week to turn in all the late and incomplete work. What’s more, knowing me clearly I have huge amounts of work to wrap up. Regardless of how much time I have, I generally wind up completing my work a minute ago. I return home from school. I have a science class venture due after tomorrow and the day after that I have English officials. Rather than beginning with my work, I keep doing whatever I might feel like doing. In my mind, I disclose to myself I actually have sufficient opportunity. Time passes by and before you know it will be it’s 1 toward the beginning of the day. I at last got the chance to work. I make an honest effort to complete all my work and remain centered for the following couple of hours. Everybody was snoozing aside from me. I generally wake up for school at 7 am. I completed a large portion of my work and left the rest for after school. It’s 5 am, I could see the sun coming up. I went to clean up so it can give me some vitality for school. I play my dismal hours playlist on Spotify figuring for what reason do I do this to myself. I let myself know “wow I truly pulled off a dusk ’til dawn affair and will school with zero hours of rest.” But I felt revived. From that point onward, I went to class, and shockingly I wasn’t late. The insane part was the entire day in school I wasn’t lethargic in any way. The way that I can complete things a minute ago is the motivation behind why I actually delay.
B. 2)
I was continually winding up in the activity in light of the number of things me and my companion used to do, for example, tricks and jokes. I recollect her continually playing hooky just to hang out in the library playing and now and again we would pull off different occasions we wouldn’t. In this one number related class Riya had gone around a lot of crunched up papers. With it we would be continually pointing and shooting them at the garbage bin everytime the instructor pivoted. We would do this ordinarily work and in the end we began to get captured and turned into the primary contingents you’d find in confinement.
Lubna, there are some very good thoughts here about Parts 1-2 of Serpell’s text. I challenge you, though, to rethink your response to Part 3; I’m not sure that this is told from the perspective of any one *person* at this event. Rather, there are numerous voices speaking here, and none of them appears to be in a privileged position to tell this story. What, then, is the “source” through which all of these voices have been “recorded”?
As for your scenes, I see how you’ve taken a lot of inspiration from Mehreen’s and Aldo’s posts, but the point of this assignment is to tell a specific scene from your own experience in as much detail as possible and then to tell *the same scene* from the perspective of someone (or something) else who was also present. This is not yet happening in your response, so I encourage you to revise. Feel free to e-mail me your thoughts.
After reading the essay, Serpell titled this text “Triptych” because in her essay she includes three different points of view of the pool party incident. I believe in the first part of the essay, there isn’t anyone that is narrating the part and so it’s all in third person point of view. This is because, there are many people being mentioned including Grace, Joy, and Tatyana, and talked about and there were use of words like “us” and “we”. The other white lady, who was fat like her friend, tells grace, all to the side like giving her some womanly advice and shit. Thereby, suggesting a third person point of view as it feels like someone who is outside the scene, is narrating the story. In the second part of the essay, we got to read the point of view of one of the officers, who were at the scene of the incident. This is because in the first sentence it states “I am a former highway patrol trooper, a US Navy military police veteran, and a corporal.” Therefore, this suggests that the person narrating this part of the essay was a police officer and hence first person point of view.
Nahid,
You are right that Part II of Serpell’s text appears to be told from the perspective of the cop involved at this scene while Part I doesn’t seem to be told from the perspective of any single person. But the “us” and the “we” that you point out suggests this is a group of people narrating in Part 1; please describe who you think that group of people is. Also, please say more about Part 3; I’m not sure it’s someone “outside the scene” because otherwise we wouldn’t be able to perceive any of the voices that are “recorded” by the “source” of this chapter. What is this “source”?
Missing your own scenes! Please work on them and email me when you’re done!
My original copy was submitted as a post under writing prompts.
(Revision for part one of the Summertime section)
In the first section titled “Summertime”, third person point of view was used. I knew this because they were using terms such as the we, our, us, etc. The text stated “all us girls are low-key swiveling up behind grace”. This tells me that there isn’t only one person being focused on in this section. This part is being told from a few different people’s perspectives.
Part 1 (Revised)
In this section, third person point of view was used because in the text , it stated “Our bodies in and out of the pool, hanging on the edge, dangling over”. This shows that there is more than one person mentioned. “Frowning white ladies by the pool shaking their heads at us. Country-ass dudes with bellies hanging over their shorts,with the look in their eye. We catch snatches of Words from their eye’’ This evidence also shows that there is not only single person who was being talked .There were different people’s point of view.
Jasleen, good work on Parts 1 and 2 of Serpell’s text. What about Part 3, though? Have another look. If this were written from the perspective of 1 of the bystanders as you suggest, they would likely use the word “I” to represent themselves. But while “I” is used here, it is used by multiple different people who appear to be speaking. All we get in this section is speech. What is the “source” that has recorded this speech? This “source” is the narrator.
As for your scenes, they are good, but I want a bit more detail. I think you could develop the conflict that seems to be brewing here between you and your mother. There is also the conflict of the anxiety of applying to schools but can you show us more of the various forces involved in this stressful process in your Essay 1? Your mother seems like perhaps she was both a source of support and maybe, at times, a source of stress. Is this so? Can you show us more of how it was?
part 3
The third part of story is being seen by two person’s perspectives because one of the friends and the cop had conversation where one friend said “what is wrong.You’re hurting her. Why are you holding her down for. Can you not. Why are you dragging her”. This shows the person and cop had conversation when cop kneeled on girl’s neck.
A. A triptych is a set of three associated literary, artistic or musical works deliberately to be appreciated together. Serpell titled this text “Triptych” because she divided it into three parts to show three different point of views. It starts with part one which is “Summertime”. Part two is “Perseus” and part three is “What Was Said”.
A1. “Summertime”
This section of the text which is the first out of all three parts is told in the perspective of the 15-year-old black girl who was tackled by a white police officer. I believe this part was told first since she is the person who was attacked and she leaves the other perspectives for later to develop the conflict. She discusses what she is observing throughout the first part of the reading and states “The heat rises up, sings against the skin. Clothes fall off, swimsuits blossoming from beneath, in colors as neon and elaborate as the sunset to come. We dance and we dance. All of this beauty, all of this rolling, dipping brown flesh, like desert dunes in the shadow or desert dunes in the sun”. She is aware of her surroundings and notices “Frowning white ladies by the pool shaking their heads at us. Country-ass dudes with bellies hanging over their shorts, with that look in their eye. We catch snatches of words from their eye”. These people were being racist which obviously made her feel uncomfortable. The girl and her friends were just minding their own business and people still had something to say of course, according to the girls perspective which is first person point of view.
A2. “Perseus”
This section is told by the racist police officer who tackled the 15-year-old black girl. He uses imagery while describing the tragic incident. The police officer stated “And swiftly, once more, I plant her. Her snakes of hair, braided like whips, fling in my face. I trap them, a web beneath my palm. Her tender torso is wrapped in thin smooth cloth the color of raw sun, her slender arms are mere vines. I root her face. Down. Into the ground. I am on my knees now. I am kneeling on her”. He still views her as a threat even though she is an adolescent.
A3. “What Was Said”
In this part, the reactions from the people who were watching the incident took place. “What is wrong. You’re hurting her. Why are you holding her down for. Can you not. Why are you dragging her”. It was obvious to me that this part of the text was in the observers point of view because everyone was asking why he was tackling her.
Extra Credit:
Serpell telling this story in three different “lenses” lead us to think differently about the main conflicts because our focus is mainly on figuring out what perspective each part is being told from. It distracts me in a way from the main conflicts due to her continuous effort on making me feel that I’m actually in the scene because of how descriptive it is. I find Serpell’s writing to be creative and I actually wanted to just keep reading because it progressively got interesting throughout the story by using different perspectives.
B. Version 1 (my perspective)
Parties, parties, parties! That is what I thought my senior year would consist of but unfortunately Ms. Corona had to ruin that along with several other things for me. My friends and I wanted one last get together to wrap up senior year so we went to seaside for the week which I know is very basic. It was the four of us on our way to Seaside and I just felt tension in the car the whole way there. No one was talking, the music was low and it was just weird vibes. I looked to my friend to the left which is the friend that my whole essay is about. She told me to look at my phone. It said “you don’t understand what it’s taking inside me to not punch her in the face right now”. I was confused. What could have possibly happened now? Look at this picture Alex, this picture just can’t be real. She was saying this out loud just so the driver which was one of our “best friends” could hear. Jess was driving us to Seaside which was who was seen in the picture with Jess’s toxic boyfriend. Would you like to explain this picture Arianna, you conniving bitch! Jess what are you talking about? That isn’t me, I would never do that to you. Oh really? There is also more pictures and screenshots of texts with your little secret. I’m officially done with you and Alex is leaving with me. Good, he never loved you anyway. And that is when Arianna got her black eye. Let’s go Alex before I go to jail. How are we supposed to get home? I didn’t bring my car so there we were, waiting on the side of the highway as I watch a tumbleweed roll by.
B. Version 2 (my other friend who was watching everything happen point of view)
I am the friend that always ends up to be stuck between all of the fights. We arrived at Seaside and it was just awkward. I was waiting for the whole situation to calm down before I called Alex to see how Jess was doing. I couldn’t wait any longer and I know they were alone so I had to call. Jess answered Alex’s phone and says “I swear if this is Arianna I suggest you hang up the phone right now before your other eye turns black”. Relax, it’s Olivia. Oh hi Liv, tell that bitch to get lost! I asked where they were and they were still in the same spot we left them at so I sent them an Uber so they could go home and it wouldn’t be in my mind anymore. Arianna had no words, she just pretended like nothing even happened. This had to be one of the most awkward moments of my life.
Thank you for these generous thoughts, Alexandia–and apologies again for the delayed reply.
I think you’ve read Serpell quite well and am glad you found her text both disorienting and engaging. Can you say more about why she may have chosen such a “distracting” way of telling this story? Does this put us in a more “realistic” position of bystander witnessing the action? What do you think?
Careful with the perspective in #1 and #3: in #1, “we” signals a first person plural (we is a group in which the writer is included); in #3, we have what appears to be a recording transcript of sorts–what might this say about the singular, non-human perspective of this text.
Your scenes are excellent although I find myself *very* disoriented by the first one. Time seems to be moving in very strange ways—forward and backward, etc. Might I suggest adding a third version of this scene in which you try writing a more traditionally oriented rendition of the scene in which time moves chronologically?
Thanks!