After revising my peers essays over the weekend and discussing them in class I’ve realized I have a lot of revising to do on my own. While I was reading them I gathered a lot of new ideas to use  on my own essay and the understanding of what I need to improve in my own essay. I had many structure issues I have to correct as well as including personal and real life experiences. My introduction needs major tweaking. It is longer than I intended it to be and has good examples I should use throughout the actual body rather than in the intro.  It’s also somewhat vague and my thesis isn’t quite clear. I was told my thesis wasn’t clear till the end of the essay. I’m going to attempt revising the body and conclusion before writing the introduction itself. I’ve also noticed how difficult it is to use the 3rd person. Throughout my whole essay I switch from 2nd to 1st person without even realizing my errors.

When it comes to my personal/ real life experience I’m not exactly sure on what to use. I don’t want to use anything that doesn’t support my claims/ points. The essays my peers wrote we filled with good experiences that connected well to their claims. While writing  my first draft I made an outline that I didn’t end up following. This time around I’m going to make my outline more specific and actually follow it. I’ve realized that if my outline is well thought out and specific enough all I have to really do is input words to fill up my essay. I think that is also the reason I had structure issues. I was missing a lot of the requirements like properly citing my work. When I was using the texts we’ve used in class I was trying to use them to prove my claims rather than to prove the points the author used. So throughout that process I ended up not paying too much attention to the structure of my work.

Now that I’ve taken a look at what my peers thought of my work and discussed it I have a better understanding of what my essay needs to be better. Some techniques I’ll attempt to use this time around will be writing the introduction last and developing a clear and well thought out thesis with three main clams. While trying to support my claims my citations will be properly stated and will refer to my work rather than the author’s. I’ll also write multiple drafts before handing the final draft in next Thursday and do my best to stop by the writing center. The comments my peers made on my work were extremely helpful and I will take everything they suggested into account while writing my next draft. I’ve realized that peer review not only helps identify issues you’ve had while writing but also to realize that other people might have the same problems as you and that you can relate and help them better their work with the comments you’ve made.