It all started when I reached the stage of maturity, that was when my life changed forever. My outlook on life, as well as my cognitive processing transformed completely. My mind was developing, and I could feel myself seeing life through a different perspective. I was evolving mentally, physically, and internally. When I entered this new environment, the possibilities of where my life could be were endless. I realized that new opportunities were being presented to me, and I decided to break out my shell and go for them. I decided that I would find ways to experience life, just like all of my other “friends” did. In doing so I awakened a part of myself that I never knew was hidden within me. Through every painful experience that occurred in my life, I drew deeper within myself, and another person was forced out. At times when I looked in the mirror, I no longer saw that sweet, outgoing, extremely intelligent person that once stared back at me. However, I did see a strong young woman, who was going down the wrong path, dealing with the wrong people, and putting herself in the wrong positions.
Let’s just jump right into the first downfall in my life which was the group of people I surrounded myself with. I prefer to name them by their “outstanding” characteristics than their actual names for now. The two kinds of young women that caused the most turmoil in my life were the Alpha, and the Mime. Each one of these characters were a stepping stone to me finding the other side of me. Individually these people, at one time or another were ranked as high priority in my life. However, after spending enough time with them, I realized that I was more beneficial to them, than they were to me. I tried out various combinations of these sorts of people, until I realized that these people just didn’t work for me.
Let’s begin with the Alpha, because they usually appear to be the leaders of the group. I have encountered more than one Alpha in my life, but no matter how different they may seem, I’ve seen similarities in them all. This female or male may be known to seek power over others even though they themselves are being used by people more powerful than them. The Alpha can be manipulative, and knows how to get what he or she wants. However they expose themselves in various areas of their lives which makes them vulnerable to the ones closest to them. Just like a bully, in actuality the Alpha is sometimes the weakest person, because they need other people to validate their strength. If the Alpha is not idolized, they face adversity which they are not equipped to handle, and they crack under pressure.
The Mime is the person in the group who has not yet discovered their identity. They are a follower who picks up traits from other people and uses these characteristics to build themselves up. This person is, for a lack of better words, a follower. At times you will see traces of your own personality within them. At some points you’ll wonder, when did this person become so much like me? When did we start dressing alike? When did we start speaking alike? If you have to ask yourself these questions then more than likely you should re-evaluate your friendship immediately. The Mime in this group of friends is able to adapt multiple personalities at once. In some ways they may seem like a super friend. However when the fog starts to clear, you’ll start to see cracks, and flaws in their perfection.
Both of these people entered my life at a time when I was open to new friends, but I wasn’t aware that not everyone has good intentions. I allowed them into my space and I allowed them to alter my life. I decided to tell you about these two kinds of people because having them in my life didn’t benefit me, and if you notice that people in your life have the same characteristics, you should steer clear of them. Life is short and relationships can be even shorter. However, if you use the characteristics I listed above you’ll be able to sift out people who will impact your lives negatively. Now I’m not saying that this description is completely accurate, but I am telling you to watch out who you let into your life. People can be toxic, and you should watch out how quick you are to befriend them because they can turn your life upside down. In retrospect, now that I think about it, the only way I could find out what kind of friends worked for me and who didn’t, was to try things out for size. I gave each of these kinds of people a distinct role in my life for a trial period. Some of them were disappointments, some helped me learn valuable lessons, and others were a complete waste of time. All in all, from each situation I encountered, I gained new and useful knowledge. This particular knowledge helps guide me into the right direction till this day, while also preventing me from involving myself with toxic people. My message to anyone reading this blog is: Don’t waste your time, and watch out for who you may be calling your friend.