Author: Tina (Page 2 of 3)

When I think back to who most influenced and inspired me to become the person I am today, the first person that comes to mind is my mother, Yun Chen.

In 2005, my mother and my father immigrated with little 5-year old me to the United States in hopes of giving me the opportunities towards a brighter future. My mother, despite having her whole life ahead of her, decided to leave everything behind to start over in a foreign country. At the time, my mother had just been promoted at the hospital she worked at and was a well-respected nurse with many years of experience under her belt. Upon coming to the United States, however, she was unable to practice as a nurse in New York with her Chinese nursing license despite her expertise in the field. As a result, my mother had to virtually start her nursing career again from scratch by earning a new license. At the time, my mother didn’t speak much English so having to relearn all the nursing material that she once knew like the back of her hand in a different language was extremely difficult for her. I remember coming home from school to see her hunched over the desk of our little one-room apartment with a thick NCLEX prep book laid out in front of her filled with countless post-it notes, highlights, and scribbled translations. Next to her would be a little Chinese-English dictionary, thoroughly worn out from having been flipped through countless times whenever my mother encountered words she didn’t understand. Besides taking a small break to make dinner, my mother would study tirelessly week after week, while simultaneously taking English lessons during the day and being pregnant with my younger sister, until the wee hours of the night. Even now, one of my most prominent memories as a child was falling asleep to the dim orange glow of our rusted table lamp and the faint sound of flipping pages.

Fast forward more than 15 years later, my mother is now a fully registered nurse working at a local nursing home where she’s worked for over 10 years now. She is what inspires me to face challenges with bravery and emerge from hardship stronger than before. My mother is one of the most compassionate and hardworking people I know. On days when she would come home exhausted from work, she would always take the time to listen to my worries about the littlest things. Even on her off-days, she would always be willing to cover a shift if someone called in sick, exclaiming “my patients need me!”I often compare her spirit to that of an ocean; with a heart equally vast and gentle as it is strong and unrestrained. Someday, I aspire to be someone just like her. 

“Life change” is an idea that I have great difficulty evaluating since my life repeatedly experiences change every minute. As I embark in diverging adventures during my existence, there is always the path that is taken and the subsequent alternatives that aren’t. An idea that I find extremely intriguing is what’s described as “the butterfly effect,” which highlights the future and its sensitive dependency under initial circumstances. Like a butterfly flapping its wings, even a tiny change in the current state within a deterministic system can result in drastic differences in a later state. 

Being but a single entity in this universe with infinitely many, simply evaluating all the “what ifs” that exist in a particular instance, much less within the entire universe can sufficiently drive us mad. It is under instances such as these which I realize that attempts in accurately predicting what lies ahead are unfeasible and limited. As scary as that may seem, this quirk is what makes life incredibly exciting and interesting. We experience similar life events but individually, we all have unique tales that can be shared. This mindset is what inspires the way I usually view changes within my life. Starting with bigger changes such as graduating university and ending with smaller, simpler changes such as getting a new haircut, I believe in appreciating what’s currently happening rather than spending ages speculating what’s next because what’s certain is what’s immediately present in the time being. That being said, I perceive life as an endless adventure where maintaining a flexible attitude when faced with change is the key in relishing it. Thus, feeling uncertainty, excitement, and even fear when change happens is perfectly fine. What’s essential is that we keep pushing ahead. After all, we are all just wandering creatures in this universe, ceaselessly seeking answers within this puzzling game called ‘life’.

I wish us all the luck and success in navigating it. 

Beep beep beep. 7:00 AM, my alarm rings, right on schedule. I open one eye and quickly hit snooze with a heavy groan and flip over to my side. Time for work, I think to myself as I attempt to doze off for a few extra minutes of shut-eye before having to ultimately abandon my cozy sanctuary. Eventually, I decide it’s time to get up. Trudging my feet, I brush my teeth, get dressed, and tried my best to make my bird’s nest of hair as presentable as possible before heading out. It was nice and sunny out and surprisingly warm for winter. I stop by a local bakery to grab some breakfast and coffee on my way to work which is an office only a 10-minute walk from home. Super convenient since I can head home during my break for a quick lunch.

I get to work at exactly 8:50 am; 10 whole minutes early.

“Wow, an early bird huh?” My manager remarks and I can only chuckle. An early bird is definitely not how I would describe myself since I hate waking up early with a passion.

Work itself is mundane and repetitive as usual, typical of an office job though some may disagree and enjoy it more than I do. Another day, another stack of paperwork I think with a sigh. I try not to complain too much however since tasks are easy and it was a good way to pass time during my free semester while making some money while I was at it.

“Well, I have a surprise for you guys today.” I hear my manager say and I peer up from behind my stack of papers in curiosity.

And there, in all its glory, was a box of a dozen Dunkin donuts perched on her hand.

“Help yourselves,” she says before placing them down on a table.

I quickly scamper over, trying not to look too excited to take a peek. They were perfectly heart-shaped (for valentines day) and looked simply scrumptious. I daintily lift one onto a paper plate to bring to my cubicle, not forgetting to say a quick ‘thank you’ to my manager for bringing treats for us. After I painstakingly finished filing my first box of paperwork out of what seemed like an infinite number more, I decided to reward myself. I take a big bite of my donut after cleaning my hands. Mmmm, jelly-filled, my favorite. I smile in contentment as its sweetness instantly makes me feel better and I momentarily forget about my towering stack of paperwork. Maybe today won’t be so bad after all.